Thursday, March 20, 2008

Its in the way that you use it.

I have this four year old. Every time I look at her I either wanna rip my uterus out and stomp on it, or else make her a playmate in a stead fast sorta way.

Now I am all for taking it out and stomping on it, because hell, me and kids blend about as well as polyester and humidity.

But there is something with this kid..

I swear to God she doesn't shut her trap from the time she awakens till the time she lays her head to sleep...

It is

I ask her to button her lips all the time, because frankly, I cant hear myself not think.

Her lips literally run 200 miles per minute.

momma, guess what...

momma, can I

Momma, lets..

Momma look...

Momma I'm hungry..

Momma potty

Momma this is...

yadda yadda...

I swear I cant take it..

I was so much looking forward to the fall when she would be partaking in Kindergarten, but since she is not quite ready yet, she will be by my side running her trap for one more year..

Then one of the cats scratched her wrist, I mean there is a tiny mark there, I'm sure under a microscope there might be broken skin, whose to say..

But I musts heard 30 times today how badly she needed a band-aide.

because...its bweedin

its not bleeding damn it..

Bless her soul on her brothers birthday she went into her room to get him a present..she grabs toys she doesn't want and has me wrap them for him..

She does this all the time...for every occasion she thinks a gift is required, she recycles her shit..

she is an envoirmentalist.

She gave him this Easter puppet she got a couple years ago...its a duck..

I'm sure he appreciated that...

See she has heart, how can u not want to make another one of those.....

I mean, that's cuteness that makes my uterus make a baby all on its own, kinda like those flowers that breed themselves.

Then she runs her mouth again...

and its back to stomping the baby maker.

Then she tells me my shirt makes me look pretty and the baby maker is back in business.

Then she gets a wad of toothpaste all over the bathroom mirror..

and its all over once again..

Then she looks at me with her big brown eyes and informs me that she likes it when I feed her.

she sorta makes it sound like its a hit or miss kinda thing...

I'm getting to old for this, I either neither to stomp on it, or use it..Its kinda like having good china but always using paper plates...

But you also need to know when to pass your dishes down to the next generation..because you can keep USING your nice China just because you have it.


cathouse teri said...

Pour some sugar on her. ;)

Yep, the children are cute and horrible all at once. Can't get me to want another one. There are plenty around that don't belongeth to me!

Groovy Mom said...

Be very very careful. I was around 35 years old with three kids, one of which was four, when I accidentally became pregnant with my fourth. It happens. Even with conscientious use of birth control. I'm pretty sure just talking about it can set things in motion.

Dana G. said...

You could be a teacher like me. "THEY CUTTED ME!!!" "MS. G, HE IS TAPPING HIS PENCIL." Trust me....I know how ya feel. Check out my blog if you want to escape the 4 year old. Hehehe

1 plus twins said...

ha ha i have one like that and i couldn't wait till he went to school well now that he is in school he has to be quite all day so he talks even more when he gets home. lol i can't complain cuz my mom said i was just like that when i was little. ha ha

rip the baby maker out, i am telling you it was the best thing i ever did!!

Flip Flop Momma said...

they sure are cute and horrible at once..but what can ya do?hehe

shame on u for saying that..shoot..

where IS your blog, its not on your profile, I was going to go there earler but cant find help me out..

so I should rip it out now?...damn woman...your a downer!

Humincat said...

I've been thinking along those horrid lines myself the last couple days....we must be ovulating or some shit, cause really, I'm not such a great parent that I should be considering it again. Today, I made my 8 year old wear two pigtails, when I know she hates two pigtails, and when she comlained, I threatened the only thing that could possibly be worse then two pigtails,,,,three, with the third in the front like a horn! She cried for ever and said I was the worst mother ever. She may be right, because I was laughing the entire time. But them babies are sure cute. Oh, damn! I can't get pregnant, I puke the entire time. HELL NO! I change my mind again.

Katie said...

My friends have new babies, and I just soak that up then leave.

Flip Flop Momma said...

i think we must be related..I

thats for the best;)

MamaMichelsBabies said...

Omg that's Boom... will you kill me if I tell you that it doesn't get any better, the questions just get harder? Oh the questions.. constantly... all the time.

And no ripping your own reproductive organs out and stomping on them... rip HIS reproductive organs out and stomp on them. Way more fun that way.

Tom said...

Bossy, if you're meant to be pregnant something will happen, the Gods will intervene.
I agree with vasectomys for men, but I couldn't do it unless I was gassed out before. Nobody comes at my jewels with a novacaine needle ("a little sting? BULLSHIT!!!) or a scalpel (shudder).

Dana G. said...

My blog is:

Anonymous said...

lol. that's why I told my doctor I wasn't leaving the hospital with my last unless I was no longer able to come back. It's those random moments that make you lose all rational thought and next thing you know your 9 months gone again. :) I'm counting the days til my Mackie is in Kindergarten- only a year a half left. ;)

Flip Flop Momma said...

I know, even the 11 year old wont keep his trap shut...they dont ever keep quiet im thinking.

im not meant me.

ok, thanks..

I have been counting down the days for Boo 2 go as well, but then that back fired on me and she is home another school year..

so....that sucks.

Neurotic1 said...

Don't rip the baby maker out- give it one more go and Boo will have someone to talk to all she wants :)

JoeInVegas said...

Is that last paragraph kind of implying that I should stop washing and reusing my paper plates? Doesn't everyone do that?

Flip Flop Momma said...

I think if I were to have another baby, it would not be good because that would mean I went to the bar and picked up someone, cause the mister aint having nothing to do with this he said..

Hey, I am all for getting your moneys worth outta something, wash and re-use all ya want...

Michele_3 said...

LOL! sounds like your talking about my 4 year old over here!!

He'll be in KG in the fall & I just know it will be way to quiet in this house once he is in school! He is a TALKER!!
so just soak it up girl, you'll miss it one day! :)

Happy Easter girlie!

Jamie Dawn said...

Sounds like your biological clock is ticking loudly.
You must be aching for another wee baby to go wee wee all the day long.
Boo is such a cutie pie even if she never shuts up.
I hope she got that band aid she was wanting.
I KNOW she did!
My mom is coming in tomorrow morning for a weekend visit. Hooray!!
I will post Blog Church tonight since I won't be blogging while she's here.
I return visits to blog buddies on Monday & Tues.
Have a wonderful weekend and a Happy Easter with your family!!

Slick said...

Cover her in a huge condom and you should be safe??

Hell, I'm grasping at straws here...

As cute as my kids are at times, I still shake at the idea of having another one

Flip Flop Momma said...

im not sure about the "missing it one day" part..hehe...

But dang they sure are cute when they are 4..

Have fun with your mom...and cook her a big ole Easter dinner...

I will be in to church later tonight..

well, that would shut her up anyway..right?

Gette said...

I had one o those like groovy mom. oopsie.

ps I tagged you

CMB said...

It MUST be a 4 year old thing! Mine does the same thing with the trap - ALL DAY LONG. Then, just when I have had enough...he says "Mom, you are the most important thing to me". Killer!