Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Bad Company


Would you believe that I have done two loads of dishes and I still have two sinks full? Holy shit, did I dirty every damn dish in the house on Easter? Is that what the good Lord would of wanted?


I think not..


Shame on me and everyone who ate on plates here.

~

Ok, I am a tad bit perturbed. You see, my dog has been out of the closet more then I thought she would be , but she still is acting all bad ass and shit...


Last night she is laying in my bed, which she does sometimes...


This morning I feel this big wet spot at the foot of the bed....


The first thing I do is check MY crotch, because holy shit, if I piddled the bed I was going straight to the ER because that woulda been an emergency right there. of some sort I do reckon.


Oh thank God, thats nice and dry...Pretty sad, it was like checking my own diaper.



Then I was worried that maybe the hubs had fallen prey to the piddle.




You can never be to sure....I mean he just turned another year older and this may have set him over the edge towards assisted living...





but he was clean...





Then I see my f*cking dog sitting on my chair at the edge of the bed...Its almost like she was staring at me all night just waiting for me to awaken so I could see that she piddled on my bed.






As soon as I woke up and noticed the turn of events, I looked at her, she made eye contact with me, then she got up slowly and walked out.





Now nothing has peed on my bed since Blondie was a couple days old and I didn't put her diaper on fast enough and she pissed all over my sheets.




I have had two kids puke on my bed....in turn which lead to a good scrubbing and a good mattress flipping.





Well I took the bedding off and washed it, scrubbed my mattress, but now what?




I Lysol-ed it, I fumigated it...




I cant dare flip it, because i know kids puked on that side..Which is all cleaned out, but still.





I need to burn the thing...



I told u people this dog is retarded. She is mad at me, so she is relieving herself on my bed....




and you wonder why I make fun about kicking her.




I must say this was the closest she has come to a good kicking.



If she does it again, I will kill her.






GAwd I HATE animals.




Period.



~



















Look, I'm not saying they are in love....but when they are together they kinda fight and make fun of each other and look, they sit on each other...






















After dinner on Easter we broke out my Dance Dance Revolution game....
























There is pale girl showing off her mad skills..































That's her boyfriend showing us his mad skills....


Of course your not gonna catch me doing this when there are people with camera's anywhere...




I do have morals.



only like a couple more weeks till my trip to Michigan to see Def Leppard...Gawd I cant wait....6th row, here I come....its the only thing getting me thru...

33 comments:

Shannon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Shannon said...

Sorry about the dog piddling on your bed. That truly does suck!

Flip Flop Momma said...

thanks...it sure does suck..

Groovy Mom said...

Next time make everyone eat out of a trough. No dishes that way.

Was your husband awake or asleep when you checked his crotch for leakage?

Scarlet said...

Checking your crotch to see if it was you...you crack me up! :D

Flip Flop Momma said...

Groovy,
he sure was awake!

Scarlet,
well...u can never be to sure bout these things...

Southern Sage said...

Wet spots on the bed usually are good.
I am tickled that neither of you tinkled in the bed tho!
those cats sure can cut a rug it appears!

Doozie said...

Is that pale girl sitting on your young son? what is going on!! I am going to have to demand that you tell me

Wethyb said...

Ewww, kid pee and puke are one thing, but dog pee I can't do.

Awww, look at the picture. You know it's really love when you sit on each other.

Flip Flop Momma said...

SS,
they sure can cut rugs....I am surpised u can tell that with still shots:)

Dooz,
no, its her 12 year old daughter...there I told u;)

Wethy,
I know I know...whats a woman to do..I cant take it, I am sleeping on the sofa:)

Jamie Dawn said...

When times are tough, just dream of Def Leppard.
That will carry you through all the dog piddle, and hopefully keep you from killing anyone.

1 plus twins said...

sorry you mattress is all fucked up. flip it and put a good think mattress pad cover on it!!

omg, you son is my son's age! what the hell is that sluts legs doing all over his back!! i would have yanked her by the hair and kicked her ass out!! lol

Flip Flop Momma said...

Jamie,
they can get me thru anything, u know me well, thats why i love u:)

1pt,
hahaha...the sluts legs...thats pale girls kid, they may or may not be in love...how can i stop love?


Plus if it gets him married by the time he is 16 and out of my hair, its all good:)

Humincat said...

Am I crazy or does her new boyfriend look vaguely like your man? Maybe it's the angle...and really, if I saw my daughter sitting on a boy that was not closely related, I would probably have to clean the piss up and then hide them both from her father. I guess the good old days of hiding it from your parents are gone...I can't imagine he is even interested yet....he is what, 11? And she is what, skanky?, I mean going on 13? hmmm, i'd beat them both and then make the dog sleep in his room, just in case another leakage happens...

1 plus twins said...

ha ha i am so so sorry i had no clue that was pale girls daughter. oh man my mouth always gets me in trouble!!

theoffendedblogger said...

I haven't laughed this hard in a while, that was brilliant and having 3 kids and two dogs, I can soooo relate!

Burn that mattress and start over hehe.

Glad I popped over from Slick's blog to find you. ;)

Flip Flop Momma said...

Humincat,
they sorta resemble eachother and they act the same too, they are both babies:)

1pt,
ha, mine too!
;)

TOB,
well thanks for stopping by...a good dog pissing story can cheer just about anyone up!

just_tammy said...

I'm amazed the dog is still in one piece! You really can't skin her alive since you already did that...Definitely get a new mattress and a 'no kids no pets' rule.

You also need a 'no chicks sitting on preteen son' rule!

I at least got through all of the dishes on Sunday. We had ten here as well. We are sooo lucky or stupid. I'm not sure which.

I need to send you an e-mail with a huge update. The junk that has been happening makes for some great stories. It would be much funnier on the phone but we know you're allergic!

Patti said...

Keep focused on your trip!

Girl you do have dog issues! We had a cat who would pee when he got mad. He is no longer allowed in the house at all after four incidents.

aatank said...

Why do we think we need dogs anyway? My dog pissed on the floor right in front of me last night...Needless to say she got her ass beat and put in her cage.

Looks like you had a fun Easter...minus all of the dishes.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Tam,
well, I wold tell ya to call, but then I remebered all three kids are home, and there is not crapping way we would get thru a conversation without me threatening to kill someone or kicking dogs...

Patti,
dont u know it, I have more then just dog issues:)

Tank,
Well I am thisclose to dropping her off where I know a momma bear and her cubs hang out...

dakotablueeyes said...

lol sorry about the bed, you know this is why my dad won't let anyone eat off anything but his fine china, (paper plates)

cathouse teri said...

Mad skills. You kill me. Remind me never to come visit you and do anything goofy that could be caught on camera. :)

Dame Wonder said...

aww man! fuckin dog! those little bastards think they run shit, i swear!

glad you guys had a fun easter!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Dakota,
haha, I call my paper plates fine china too..I shoulda just used it...im stupid.

Teri,
oh, u know wanna be caught on film by me, everyone does!

Dame,
Amen!

Michael Manning said...

Def Leopard! Now that's an 80's band that still rocks among many. I hope you Rock Out and have FUN!!!!!

Foster Communications said...

Now that dog, is a piss ant.

And sixth row?? That rocks!

Gette said...

I'm all for DDR as excercise.

Flip Flop Momma said...

MM,
amen to that!

Jess,
she sure is..

yeah 6th row, now normally I am in either 3rd thru 1st..so this is a major set back:)

Gette,
amen to that too..

although mine has shitty songs, I need a new one, one with good songs, mine all f-ing suck..

Katie said...

That is not a good way to wake up!

gina said...

That's why I don't have pets, it's lucky enough I manage to keep my kids well. :)

Catscratch Diva said...

You won't catch me doing DDR, but I would strangle the dogs or the kid that had the nads to piss on my sheets.

AND, I am one jealous bitty that you're goin to Def Leppard without me.

CMB said...

No Easter dishes here! Breakfast at my Aunt's and out to dinner we went. However Ava's puking could have been less dramatic if we ate at home. HMMM.