Friday, March 07, 2008

you better u better u bet

It has come to my immediate attention I need to get a good drunker on.

The stress I am dealing with here is just getting to me.

I know, I know, I swore I gave up vodka after my New Years Mishap...but....

its kinda like birthing a kid, u 4get about the pain and stupidly are willing to give it another go, cause we humans are mildly retarded in that sense.


Oh when I picked the boy up from swim class yesterday at 5pm, cause thats the time it gets out...

I waited in the hall by the boys locker room because they have to shower when they are done, I guess they must work up a sweat swimming???????

Whatever the case may be, I get there around 4:50 because I hate being late, and in return I hate it when people are late.

So I am standing there, there are a couple other parents waiting..shortly after their little boys come galloping outta the locker room into their mothers open arms..

ok, not really, but we will just say this for the sake of story telling.

After 10 minutes goes by, I'm starting to get a little peeved, as my tolerance 4 waiting around is close to nill.

I open the locker room door and scream his name, in that sort of tone an angry mother does.

Another boy that has the same name as mine comes running to beat hell.

I say..nope, not u kid..

thank goodness, I thought I was in big trouble

no, but the other kid in there with your name is.

So after 20 damn minutes of waiting, I'm losing my cool..

I scream again, as it is very quiet in there so I am sure he is the last one in there.

Indeed he was..

We get to the car around 5:34 so this means I stood there more then a half hour waiting 4 this kid.

I give him a lecture on how inconsiderate it is to keep someone waiting who is here to pick his ass up...

he apologized profusely and told me how he has to put on a comedy show 4 his comrades, as he is the stand up comedian of the swim team.

I told him he better not ever do this again, on MY time...instead he needs to sell tickets 4 his next performance or else I am gonna walk into the locker room and heckle him, and then spank him in front of his audience.

Told him a good time to put on a show is during recess at school, not when your loving mother figure is standing waiting 4 your ass.

Oh and the school told me Thursday they want his IQ tested as they are sure he is a gifted student...

so if he is so gifted, why is he flunking math asshats?
So Monday I have a meeting with a teacher who will be doing his testing...
I better bring a copy of his last report card to refresh their memory..
Ok, im off to purchase a couple bottles of my anti depressant.


Southern Sage said...

I cant stand being late or being made wait either!!
I need to come up there (after Al Gore season) and load you up and cart you to a juke and getcha tore up on some clear homemade....
it'll do you some good.

Flip Flop Momma said...

ok I understand the 1st part..haha

Southern Sage said...

Clear homemade= moonshine
juke= honky tonk= night club=bar
tore up= gonna be hazy memories in the moaning!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Gottcha loud and clear, 10-4 good buddy!

Groovy Mom said...

Sounds so like something my son would pull.

Gifted kids are often diagnosed as having ADHD.

Here's a little article:

just_tammy said...

Hope that was some stand up routine! I'm always early and hate waiting around especially when whoever knows I'm waiting. Those talented and gifted ones seem to be the worst!

Wethyb said...

I'll drink some with ya honey!! LOL

I can't wait for my girlies to get that age.....uh yah, not so much. Damn that's gonna suck.

Slick said...

Hey, Hey NOW! Don't intrude on the boys comedic skills! That's like some kind of sin!

Wasting 30 minutes isn't too much to ask for when you're recieving fame is it?? ;)

You're probably drunk right about now, huh?

Gette said...

hate to wait

Doozie said...

oh please don't put him in the gifted program, that is for nerds.

I think your kid is awesome and if I had a lot of money I would fly me and my boy out there to meet up cause my boy is smart but sucks at math and makes me wait insufferable amounts of time for him.

hey, I ate a red candle last night

Diva said...

It never fails, the boy in this house is the same way. All about his ass and his friends and his social life...

Little prick.

Do what I do, carry a small flask everywhere.

Shannon said...

Also hate to wait.
Love the new Spring look on here!

Yippeeskip said...

Thank Goddess, spring his here as posted on your new layout. I can come out of my den now.

Scarlet said...

You haven't had a drink since New Year's Eve?? I don't know whether I should congratulate you or scold you! :)

From what I hear, all your kids are gifted. Your boy is already an entertainer, and that's a good thing...making you wait? not such a good thing.

Have a great weekend! I think you should go to the juke w/ Southern Sage and get tore up on some homemade. :)~

Flip Flop Momma said...

I am gonna go read that...

well, it musta been a kick ass routine, cause all the boys in there were lauging..

come on, its drinking time bitches;)

I only wish.


so why u eating candles now?

very good idea.

scold me..

Packof2 said...

dont 4get the vodka to rinse down those anti depressant with!

Marel Lecone said...

So, I'm disappointed to hear that they don't automatically learn to be more considerate because I've been waiting around for that to happen. Damn! :)

Patti said...

I can't stand waiting. I think your threat was very well thought out and covered all bases! I wish you the best honey.

No_Newz said...

If he sells enough tickets, he can support a healthy vodka addiction for you. I say, that is a win-win and would certainly make up for having you wait for so long. :D

CMB said...

Oh no he didn't! I am not a person that is good at waiting either. Damn kids. Good for you on the Vodka - we mom's need something to keep us going :) Good luck at the meeting. They had me classified as gifted...does not mean much :(