Thursday, March 06, 2008

two tickets to paradise

I have this kid. Ok I have three actually, but one of them is 4, very cute a tad special and has some major speech impediments..

She will be entering the face paced world of Kindergarten in a short while..

I asked her what grade she was going to be in, and God bless her cotton socks, this is what she said..

kin-ger-dargin

Gawd I love this kid..not only can she not say it, but I'm sure as shit she will be riding the short bus when she goes..

The other night Purple Rain was on VH-1 Classic. The Mr. and I sat in bed and watched it..I have it taped on my DVR, yet I force him with my almighty power to watch it..

At the end of the movie I let out a big sigh..ya no, the kinda sigh we give when we are dreaming bout someone..

The kind we of sigh we give when our pupils are in the shape of hearts..

My loving husband kindly says to me..

you never gonna be with him, so just stop

then I say..

excuse me???????????? How dare u presume he would not want to be with me...If only he knew I was here pondering the kind of things he and I would be doing right now, while u stand there in your boxers brushing your teeth and scratching your gut..

to which he says..

im just jealous, u don't sigh at me like that...

to which in my defense i say..

true true...your not him..go to bed.


~
After school my boy partakes in a swim class..

So this means before he leaves for school in the AM he needs to have his swim suit and a towel..

Which I gather these items for him or the poor lad would never make it out the door before say noon.

Now before he leaves for school I remind him that he is not to come home in his swim suit, or I am gonna kill him.

With my bare hands.

So his bright idea to solve this issue is for him to wear his swim trunks as underwear, everyday...so he does not forget to take them or bring them home.

I did what any good president would do, I vetoed that down...

So he strolls home and I open his back pack and there lies his wet swim trunks..

ALL his school books, folders, work is sopping wet and smells like chlorine..

Then Boo has been crying today because..

momma, i just want it to be summa

yeah she does not put the R at the end of summer, because as I have said, she is special that way..

She told me she needs it to be summer so she can wear pretty dresses all the time and chase butterflies.

She spotted a brown patch of grass across the yard and she was all excited...Like she had found gold..

Poor dear, I did not want to break it to her that it was not grass but rather a big pile of dog crap from the three legged dog that lives in that yard..

and yes, there really is a three legged dog that lives next to me...I am blessed with all this cool shit

And you guys wonder why I am going to lift my ban on Vodka.

31 comments:

Neurotic1 said...

So maybe Butch's idea of wearing the trunks as undies wasn't so bad after all! I think kids are all out to get us. You better lift your ban on vodka and then some :)

Diva said...

And you wonder why I adore you.
Girl, you are just awesome!

Flip Flop Momma said...

N1,
I think your right..wanna come have a drink with me?

Diva,
aww..thanks:)

1 plus twins said...

god bless boo she is too damn cute.

i say let him wear the swim trunks under his clothes better than his school work getting wet.

nice come back to your hubby your a hoot. i love it!

just_tammy said...

I want it to be summa too. You know if their nickname is boo, they are way too cute, beyond smart, and special if you know what I mean.

How about slapping the trunks and towel in a large ziplock so the trunks aren't being used as underwear and not ruining things like school books you might have to replace.

Tell hubs to start sportin some high heels and you might heart him as much as the purple one!

Flip Flop Momma said...

1pt,
well, then his pants will be wet when he plops down on my sofa..ha

Tam,
well I sent him with a plastic Target bag JUST for this matter...of course he didnt come home with the bag..

Groovy Mom said...

I want it to be summa too! Waaaa!

just_tammy said...

I give up! If the kid can't remember to use a large plastic bag with a large target on it, then there's no hope!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Groovy,
me 3.

Tam,
Exactly!

Southern Sage said...

sugar first I gotta say
as alluring as you are
and you know I find you damn alluring
Prince doesn't like girls
u to the best of my knowledge have an innie, he like outies.
I'm just sayin
buttttttttttttttttttttt if he was going to cross that line it would DEFINATELY be for you.

#b
does the boy have swim class? Does he put his dungarees on over wet swim trunks??
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Flip Flop Momma said...

SS,
damn dont make me pop a cap in your ass...damn it..

this swim class is only for 2 weeks..

what is a dungeree?..

hahahahaha

Yarn Tails said...

You have had my hubby cracking up for the last couple of days. He has been reading your blog with me. He thinks you are a card! Hope you are having a good week!

Scarlet said...

Between that three-legged cat and that man with the fake leg at the bar, I'm afraid to come visit you. I don't wanna miss any body parts on my back to Miami!

JoeinVegas said...

I'd pass on the vodka, switch to tequila, it sounds classier.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Yarntails,
well im glad i am keeping ur hubby outta ur hair or a bit..ha;)

Scarlet,
NO, its a 3 legged DOG, no cat...get it right..

u will be ok, i got your back, people wont mess with u if im nearby:)

Joe,
but I dont like tequila.

Tom said...

Good for Boo!!!! I've not talked with an "r" EVER!! Of course I was born and raised in Boston and Cape Cod. You gotta "heah" me talk someday...it's wicked pissa"

Gette said...

Funny. Thing 4's bday is in July, so we're really thinking of waiting a year to send him to the big K. Might be helpful later on down the road.

Flip Flop Momma said...

tom,
u wicked pissa.

Gette,
I was going to wait a year 4 her too..her b-day is end of August...at her K screening, they said she was more then ready..

and now here u have a choice 4 every day K instead of every other day...so I think thatf might help her too..course u gotta pay 4 the all day every day...stupid i tell ya.

She needs speech therapy, so I can get it 4 free at the school..

its a win win 4 her really..

aatank said...

It is so a child to not care what he is ruining to make sure his shorts make it home. For goodness sakes give him a brake...he did one thing right.

I'm so with Boo...as we are under another winter weather watch with 5-8 inches on the way for Friday and Sat.

You, Kel and I need to get together and drink a night away.

themuttprincess said...

I have absolutly no words of encouragement... My son is 12 and hardly can manage to get things to school and get them back. Even with threats THAT I DO CARRY OUT.

All I can say is pray it eventually clicks... That is what I do!!!

Flip Flop Momma said...

tanker,
I saw u guys were gonna get some snow this weekend..sucks..

im so sick of our temps...the other day it was well over 40 and today right now its 7..i cant take it anymore.

Yes, I need a good drunker girls..

when is our class renoiun?..thats about the only way I am making it to the homeland, unless of course someone kicks the bucket this year..damn..

u guys should come here 4 a vacation...its not that long of a drive with 2 people doing it..

u can stay here, and me and plae girl will take u on a weekend of misfitsa and karaoke..

u cant turn that down..

Flip Flop Momma said...

tmp,
yes...i keep thinking it cant get much worse..haha

Katie said...

Vodka is one of the nectars of the gods. How could you turn your back on it to begin with ;)

Patti said...

I am still laughing at poor Mr. Shaky. He just can't compete with His Royal Badness!

metalmom said...

The vodka came out a LOOONG time ago and it hasn't gone away since!

True_Floridian Momma said...

Summa, too cute, too bad she doesn't realize you live in MN :)Does Summa ever arrive there?

good idea on lifting the ban, I could use some my way

Flip Flop Momma said...

Katie,
amen.

Patti,
I dont think he is laughing though..hehe

MetalMom,
yes...its looking like a good option 4 me too.

Ange,
Well, summer will get here around July, then the heat wave outta hell will set in..

we get the extremes here...way too cold and way too hot..

right now I would take the way too hot..

Southern Sage said...

#1: we might could get you a strap on for your night with Prince!!

#b
dungaree



Main Entry: dun·ga·ree
Pronunciation: \ˌdəŋ-gə-ˈrē, ˈdəŋ-gə-ˌ\
Function: noun
Etymology: Hindi dũgrī & Urdu dungrī
Date: 1673
1: a heavy coarse durable cotton twill woven from colored yarns; specifically : blue denim
2plural : clothes made usually of blue denim

Dame Wonder said...

come ooonnnn summa! she's so cute. as for the wet trunks, the parenting experience is like nothing else! purple rain always reminds me of my freshman year at college. good times.

CMB said...

I am awaiting summa too! I would have gone through the roof if I found wet trunk in his bookbag - holy crap...
As for the Prince thing - I say you have a shot.

gina said...

WOW -i have missed quite a lot- had to read your whole main page to catch up and all I can say is "bottoms up!"

seriously, at least you can keep your sense of humor through all this. :)
Hey- if you ever do become an official rock star- I'll be snatching up tickets!!