Monday, August 13, 2007

summertime blues

I am not sure if it is because Saturday it was 120 degrees out and Sunday it barely broke 80..but I am feeling as though summer is slipping thru my hands.

I had a shitty weekend. Not for any reason other then I just sat home and did nothing. Well, I take that back, I did go to Walmart Friday..hellyeabitches.

I still stand firm on that..I do loath Walmart. They wont sucker me in with their bargain basement prices and shotty looking produce.Nope,not gonna sucker me.

On a brighter note, my home of the cinnomelts opens at 5am on Friday. I want to be the first fat ass to open the door and demand a cinnomelt...asslickers makin me wait so long.

Oh, another bright spot...My girls are obsessed with Hannah Montana Oh yes, Ihave had the privilege of hearing her screechy vocals all weekend. I try and tell my kids what a joke her dad was in the early 90's with that Achey Breakyheart crap...but they aint buying it.

Plus side, I have not had to hear The Wiggles in sometime now...

con....I do love that blue wiggle.

pro....Hannah has a job, might kick these kids into a career at say...12...

Hell kids, your momma is collecting unemployment..some one's gotta go earn a damn livin..


I am going from making a whole lotta bucks per week..to makin 350 a week..
that is the cap here in MN..350 a week..who can live on that..damnhellno, good thing Mr SHaky keeps the money tree watered and fed and trimmed and happy

something is wrong with that...

But I am going to sit here, collect my money..i mean i have always wanted to sit home and get paid, i was gonna be all over that welfare wagon at one point..but hell..i don't qualify..i gots to many assets..haha


so, this is just as good as the welfare thing, as far as I am concerned.

I am going to start paying Blondie 2 bucks a week to rub my feet..these are hard times for a pimp..

Little does she know she will be doing this so often that she will be making less then one cent per hour doing so...

its all good though.

I am going back to Michigan next month. We are buying my grandpa's car. My grandma does not drive and she wants to sell it. And we are in the market for a new car. My grandpa just bought it brand new not long ago....

Shaky has some sort of sentimental attraction to his car..It was the first car we bought brand new...Bought it same year The Boy was born..

who the hell drives around in an almost 11 year old car?..people on unemployment do I guess..

My wheels though, my wheels are stellar, only few years old....lots of animal crackers and juice boxes floating around in it..

maybe even some loose change...bodily fluids you name it.



So this is a recap of shit in case u have been living under a rock, or been ignoring me for a few weeks..

*i went to see Prince, concert was delayed over three hours

*my grandpa died....bummer still....

*I was stuck in Michigan for better part of the month of July

* I get home, and find out me and three others have been fired...

*my son spills water on my laptop, so its all f-ed up..the F key wont work, so I have a new laptop now...little pisser.

*I find out I will be getting 350 a week from unemployment...crying as my Def Leppard stalking fund will dwindle to nothing before long.

* people who are renting our house in MI, move out...and we are thinking of letting the bank take it back..I don't want it....I don't want to deal with it anymore..no more.

*I miss my buddy half Mexican momma....we did some crazy stuff when I was there.

that about sums it up..

oh one more thing.

*my McDonald's has been closed since May....

*AND we have a freaking Walmart now..

see, nothing but downers...downer downer downer.

*oh and I may need exploratory surgery to see whats wrong with my va-gene...vajayjay..or goods..whatever u feel most comfortable with..

Ok....I better go before I cause not only myself to jump off a high mountain top, but you as well...I don't need that on my conscience.

27 comments:

Gette said...

Our new Evil*Empire opens next month. There go the tips from the building crew...

Josie said...

$350/wk??? How is anyone suppose to survive on that with kids???

Love the gov't, love it.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Gette,
gotta love them evil empire's
;)

Joise,
no kidding, and out of the four of us who got canned, one is a single mom, one a single young gal, and one cant live on just one income with her and her hubby..luckily my hubby makes loads more then I did, and I really never have to work..BUT..I like to..

and getting free money now..its sort of a bonus:)

Neurotic1 said...

Okay-so I'm mad now. Not once did you mention how muched you missed ME in your woe of troubles!

You better start lining up now for the Micky D's. Rumor has it, that cinno-melts are comin' to an end ;D

Sit back, relax and enjoy the rest of the enjoyable weather before the snow storms come!

Oh- and watch out for your vehicle. We have the same kind and my back glass just spontaneously busted not too long ago!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

neurotic,
shit, i did miss u too..my applogies to you and yours..

What kind of car do u have?...u have me worried now..

I have a Dodge Caravan, Hubby has an Old acvhiva, which one are u talkin bout?


I am gonna sit back, collest my unemployment and gouge myself on cinnomelts and dt coke....and rum:)

Neurotic1 said...

The caravan- window just shattered for no reason at all! Unless Tony Soprano is after me and I don't know it ;)

Oh- and I'll come have some rum with ya!

Neurotic1 said...

The caravan- window just shattered for no reason at all! Unless Tony Soprano is after me and I don't know it ;)

Oh- and I'll come have some rum with ya!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

damn....that sucks..

BUT, maybe it WAS Tony Saprano.

im just sayin

MamaMichelsBabies said...

Dude... hade no idea Hannah Montanas Dad was the king of creepy..

Now I'm even more creeped out...

He actually procreated...

And damn it all about the unemployment.. didn't know 350 a week was the limit here...

MN sucks..

But hey.. you gotta new laptop, it's gotta count for something. Right? RIght?

Cliff said...

Oh woe is me. I feel like I might need to come up there and work someone over. Maybe your old boss for instance.

1 plus twins said...

i am telling you if someone paid me to stay home even if was only 350 a week my ass would be home! that would be great!! add cinnomelts to the week and your in heavan!! enjoy your time off!!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Mama,
yes, the King o creep has spawned baby creeps..(she aint that bad , the music just gets me..ugg...

yup the cap is 350..not right people, not right..I paid WAY more in with other jobs I had...tha paid nearly 6 igures a year..


bastards.

Cli,
(i am using the old computer which those letters that end your name does not work..sorry)
but anyway, yes tha is a grea place to start..and thank you in advance ole buddy.

1plstwins,
yup..i am gonna enjoy it while it lasts the whole 26 reaking weeks..

*gag me*

aatank said...

I'm so glad to see your coming back so soon, see I knew you would miss us once you were gone.

Now yourstarting to sound like my SIL~happy living off the system. HaHa.

I sure hope what little bit of summer you have left gets better.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Aatank,
I think I have it worked out now where Mr Shaky is gonna go at it alone...I am not one to want to travel back there so quickly;)

Living off the system aint that bad..hahahahahaha

patti_cake said...

You have a wonderful outlook and will overcome (I know, I know - smack me NOW!)

P.S. that's kinda cool you will get your grandpa's car. Sweet but for the wrong, wrong reasons.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Patti cake,
funny thing is while me and the kids were in MI the hubby was out looking for new cars..(he was insisting on an 08)..it all works out I guess..although it is going to be weird knowing my grandpa was the one who ever drove it..

and I am gonna smack u;)

JoeinVegas said...

I remember all of those little kids with that Billy Ray haircut. Wonder what they look like now.

Humincat said...

They have already sucked you in! In a few months, you'll be just like the rest of us, paying more to Walmart then to any other freaking company in the entire nation. I plan on keeping my receipts from there for next year and sending them a copy and request for a personal discount for being such an (unwillingly) loyal customer. I hate them people.

Packof2 said...

you are having a bunch of crap rollin your way. I hope it gets better soon!

S

Cheeky said...

Hey I went to see Prince too! And waited.

I have had a craptastic day and its only getting worse. I think its time to pull out the hard stuff and do a few shots LOL

And yeah I feel it - winter is coming and I won't be ready

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Joe in Veags,
ohh the mullets, dont remind me of the mullets..

Humincat,
I should do the same..but NO..I will NOT be buying anything there..NO How, No way..

ok, I already bought shampoo, condtioner, water, and milk..shit.

Shelly,
thanks..it cant get much worse can it?..


Cheeky,
come here, we will drink till our eyes float..

what did u think of the Prince show?..I was dissapointed, and I Love him, hell I even have a Prince tattoo..

Katie said...

Cinnamelts sound so good right now.

cathouse teri said...

I think it's called a PUSSY!
Meow.

So anyway, if the F-key doesn't work, you can just say, "Uck You!" to people and they will never know!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Katie,
u aint kiddin..

Cathouse,
well, its not "that"part..itsmore of my "housing babies unit"..ha

well it works on this compputer so..fuck it all;)

keesh said...

wow, and I thought my summer was bad, but the nearest walmart to me is 20 minutes away :). Seriously though, sorry I have been a rotten blogger buddy. What a beyatch I am...it was nice catching up. sorry about grandpa. I hate that shit...and the job. Damn, but at least you can enjoy whatever is left of Summer. just make hubby get a second job :).

cathouse teri said...

Aha! You mean your WOMB?? I musta not been payin' attention!

Ba Doozie said...

well I'm not sure what to say, your recap says it all. Actually to be honest by the time I click on comments, I forgot what you said and have to open the original post in this window.

ohh, I have some ?s. What store has these cinnomelts?

Is the actress Hannah Montana's dad really that billy ray cyrus guy?

What is wrong with 350/month when you ahve another job, girl milk that for as long as you can!

orrrr. maybe..that's like a DOLLAR AN HOUR

ok, I'm retarded