Friday, August 10, 2007

because Oprah says soooo

Well, my first few days of being canned have went pretty well. I will find out today what my estimated joke salary will be...

I did have an odd turn of events happen in the early morning hours of Thursday.

Around 4am I woke up with an awful pain...Not sure what it was, I went in the potty to go piddles..Hoping that would help..Well after I peed, still pain..

Lots and lots of pain...

After about an hour or so the pain subsided...but was left with an awful dull constant ache.

So me being all paranoid I tried finding a Gyno in my area whom can look over my um va-gene and surrounding area. As I was having pelvic pain.

Not a damn Gyno around I could see without a referral...

sonofbitch.

So reluctantly I called my local doctor whom wanted to see my goods when all i wanted was sleeping pills....ok, I did not see him, I chose to see the Nurse Practitioner.

After blood work, piddleing in a cup and a nice fancy va-gene exam...she is clueless.

Every time she pressed on my pelvic region I wanted to belt her a good one in the face.

but I didn't, cause I am a good Christian woman.

She is very concerned and is sending me for an ultra sound in the AM hours of Friday..

Not only am I getting your regular run of mill ultra sound, but I am also getting a trans-vaginal one as well.

I so ex-cite.

so....this is my drama now.

Whilst I was getting my pelvic region probed and full of K-Y Jelly...my mom was tending to the welfare of my young ones.

The Boy asked her if I was ok...She told him yes..

he said he watched an episode of Oprah...yes I said he watched Oprah..

and that after one loses a job and or has a death in the family they can get depression.

He asked her how long ago I lost my job..

She told him two days ago.

With relief he said..

good, because Oprah says if you have symptoms for more then 5 weeks u need to seek medical help ASAP.

At least someone is looking out for me.

God Speed my son...God speed.

So if I am not around for a while, it means they have given me 12 hours to live and I have chosen to head to the VFW to go Boozen with my buddies one last time.

And to take booby shots one more time..

So we will see how this all pans out...

Say a prayer for my pelvic area if u want...

I will be around...

if ain't dead.

28 comments:

Kendra Lynn said...

Hey there.
I'm still alive and kickin'.
Just been crazy busy.
Hope your pelvic area is better.
I prayed.

Kendra

Karin said...

I am having all kinds of pain and pressure in pelvic area too. No one seems concerned about mine though. I hope yours goes away a lot faster and less painfully than mine will. Man I hope I don't really have 5 more weeks of this.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Kendra,
good to see your still kicking;)

Karin,
well u have good reason for having pelvic pain.I mean U have a 9 pound watermelon laying in there..geesh..

Neurotic1 said...

I'm glad your son thinks Oprah is the gospel. Heck, why not sleeping pills and anti-depressants~sounds like fun ;)

Choppzs said...

I hope your Vagaygay gets better soon. Tell them to take it easy as the beaver will bite them back!! lol

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Neurtotic,
I love your line of thinkging..

Choppzs,
haha...now thats funny.

1 plus twins said...

hope all goes well!!! god bless your son, what a sweetie!

Katie said...

You just keep getting the hits, don't 'cha.

Feel better. I hope this is resolved quickly!

mal said...

good luck! Hopefully it is nothing major.

I HATE the OB/GYN....GRRRRRRR..
"what the hell you looking at down there buddy?"

*S*

Chels-Puddle Jumper said...

Oh, that is the worst type of pain. I hope everything goes well, and they can at least give you something to ease the pain until they figure out what the heck is going on.

KrazyMom said...

Hope you are feeling better soon!

Yippeeskip said...

Okay, I still prefer the word cooter to vagagay, which is still pretty funny. You sure have been hit with it:
God(dess) doesn't give you any more than you can handle but it sure does suck that s/he trusts us so much.
Ask for vicodin

patti_cake said...

Wow that's just crazy about the pelvic pain. I hope you find out what it is, and it can be simply taken care of with no pain to you. Hugs honey. It's been a helluva few weeks for you hasn't it?
P.S. You've got a great Mom, Hub & Kiddos though!

Cheeky said...

yeah what is it with docs not knowing what is going on? I went for a bloody heel and got NOTHING but I did ask for a refill on my Ambien so I guess that was something......hope all turns out well.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Thanks for your comments..sorry I have not been responding..its been one of them days..but I am here

themuttprincess said...

I had the dildo of non-pleausure last month. SO. NOT. FUN.

Icky.

I will say a prayer for your honey pot.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Muttprincess,
yes those are no fun..I had to get them when I was preggers too..

There are certain times when u want NOTHING shoved up there..

good stuff cracka said...

hope ur lil stuff gets mo betta
nuttin worse than ur stuff not bein right
I always pull for folks stuff to be A-ok!
js

Emma Sometimes said...

I hope you feel better. But personally, girlie visits are the just the thing that I look forward to every year. Okay, seriously, I'm praying for you chicka AND your doctor for a quick diagnosis.

Don't you watch the Church of Oprah everyday?

Gette said...

Butch's Oprah comment was funny, but it made me think of this line from "What if his People Prayed" by Casting Crowns:

What if the life that we pursue
Came from a hunger for the truth
What if the family turned to Jesus
Stopped asking Oprah what to do


So, according to CC, better pray for the vayjayjay.

Couldn't hurt! ;)

Halfmexican Mama said...

worried..havent heard from ya its Sat and your va-gean exam was yesterday...wad up??? :-(

Michael Manning said...

Hope all is well soon!

Scarlet said...

Hopefully it's just stress related because of everything you've been going through with work and nothing more than that. I'll say a little prayer for you.

Cheers!

Tiff

Ba Doozie said...

pelvic area's can be so dumb. I'm sure it's nothing more than a slight imperfection of the mentstral occipital lobe.

you will be fine, you are too ornery to be anything but fine.


ok

oprah is a tramp

Jamie Dawn said...

I said a prayer for your female anatomy.
I had an internal sonogram several years ago, and it wasn't fun at all. Not painful or anything, just plain weird to have a woman poking around up in there like that. I was glad when it was over. Talk about awkward. I feel sorry for people who have to do that to women all day long. HITONIOUS work!
I hope all the pain goes away, and that there is nothing serious wrong.
Your son knows what he's talking about. That kid is a smartie!! Oprah is his hero! :-)

Cliff said...

I haven't said a prayer for a womans pelvic area since, well let's see,, uh I guess I was in High School. But I WAS very faithful about it. None of those prayers were answered. I should have been more specific.

1 plus twins said...

ok, what did you find out?? is everything ok??

cliff's comment cracked me up!!! too damn funny.

flea said...

ok, wow, i haven't been over here in awhile and jeesh have you ever had a lot going on...

i hope u nail it to them good..

also hope u are feeling better soon, sounds like it could be a cist or something...you should know once the ultra sounds been done