Wednesday, August 29, 2007

talk dirty to me

Warning, I am on the computer that is missing a letter..the one between E and G...*or you retards, I will wait while u sing the alphabet in your heads...






done..










done..








ok, on we go..



* that will be in place o* said letter















So the birthday festivities went pretty well...She is 4 now. Holy shit.







When I look at her baby photos, my uterus aches...it badly wants a companion living inside it or a short period equalling less then one year, but it wont be getting one.










that would mean no drinking or nine *ull months, and I can not risk it..






Here are some pics o* her..













































does she look 4?...Does my uterus look lonely?



































Look, we are posing...she loves me, and my uterus is smiling too, I know you can not see it..





































She looks very special in that pic...as I told you, she will be riding the short bus a*terall.





































Messy girls...I did have to hose them down.







































Reason number 40 my uterus weeps....













~








I am getting pumped *or my slut *est...I mean De* Leppard concert on Monday.







I have my dew rag all picked out, my thong, my lip gloss, sunglasses, and my deodorant.






Notice I did not say..

















bra








Bible








taste*ul clothes.





~

















Here are some pics o* me and my buddies..




































































































































































she was being a smart ass....she really does not have a permanent scowl on her *ace.













































































*

*

*




















yeah so...there we are...Nothing like having pals who come and have a hoe down, all *or your 4 year olds birthday.



~





My new Shick Intuition is working pretty well. I am down to my last *ree trail blade, a*ter this, I am going to have to break down and buy one. But we all know I can not do that until I get my nice *Fancy, state issued unemployment debit card...I can not wait to run that bitch thru the *first cashier line at Walmart...that is high class there..top notch.



~

I think I might dye my hair pink..



Well, I wont be around much the next couple days.



I am ironing and packing my slut clothes



I am mowing my lawn



I am trying to console my uterus



I am going to get *fitted *or a diaphram, IUD, stocking up on condoms.



Be*ore I do something really, really stupid.



And we all know...I do really stupid things.










Holy shit,,,spell check accutally repaired some o my letter delima.








thank you my Lord and Savior..


and spell check.



Amen

25 comments:

MamaMichelsBabies said...

I'm going to help console your uterus. The top 10 things you do with a baby

1. Change diapers

2. CHange poopy, her butt exploded and it's damn near in her ears diapers.

3. Bounce, jiggle, rock and cajole a colicy, screaming, inconsolable infant who's scream makes your ears hurt. Really hurt.

4. Wish for sleep.

5. Sore nips?

6. 2 to 3 years of diapers. The fun kind. See above description.

7. Pray that your kid doesn't get the flu or other such pukey virus until it understands to puke in the bucket, not on you, or the dog, or your bed.

8. Teething. Need I say more.

9. Terrible two's. Do I need to send pics of what my 2 year old recently did. With a 5 pound bag of flour. And the dogs.

10. Pray for sleep. Not get it until they are 3 or so, then pray you wake up before them to stop them from getting into a 5 pound bag of flour.

Did that help at all? No? Here's 11 then

THe weeks of bleeding after said baby. Let's not forget... engorement... that's always fun too.

Hows that?

Peggy said...

I can see you 90 years old going to rock concerts! LOL take lots of pictures.

patti_cake said...

Oh heck go ahead and go for #4 hehe..... *ducks*

Katie said...

Have fun with your boys!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

mama,
who asked u to come here anyway?

hehe

peggy,
u know it!!
:)

patti cake,
your not suppose to be encouraging me..damn;)

Katie,
I will..FOR SURE!!

Working Mom said...

Aw, those pictures are sweet!

I told you you could borrow my kid for your uterus problems.

The razor refills are ridiculously expensive but I love the intuition razor. So I buy.

So jealous of the concert. They were here last week and no one would go with me. I was bummed.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Working Mom,
yes, they were there last week, I know some pople who went and it poured rained thru most of it:)

Me and the fellas are going bar hoping after ward...should be fun;)

hehe

Halfmexican Mama said...

who are those broads and why are they sitting so close to you??

Halfmexican Mama said...

and who you goin bar hopping with?

Flip Flop Goddess said...

HHM,
its steph and dilley..u know, the one who is giving u toretts;)

going bar hoping with the band..

;)

themuttprincess said...

Your uterus is not lonely, it is just mother nature telling you that you want another BABY and you should do it to save all mankind. The thing is a BABY is a huge deal and you do not need to save mankind. Seriously.

IUD is a good idea. :)

Slick said...

Well, your girl is beautiful but I couldn't see how lonely your uterus was.

Anyway, make sure you make your hair all big and fluffy for the concert and hey, have a great time!

Cheeky said...

Just wait till that sweet little girl turns 15!!!!!!!

Humincat said...

I have a GREAT idea! Your lonely uterus can carry one, and as soon as it comes out, give it to me! Cause my uterus/girly parts could die happy without squeezing out anymore bowling balls, but oh, my arms cryout for another little monkey to squish. So how 'bout it?

Jamie Dawn said...

Boo really has changed since I first saw pics of her about two years ago. She's gone from toddler to little girl.
It's hard when our baby starts losing their baby features. We start aching for another baby. I look back at photos of my Tater Tot, and I can't believe that he's 6' 4" now. Lord help me!
You have gorgeous kids! Hopefully you can resist the urge to have another baby, but if you can't... you will just have lots more to gripe about here on your blog.
Pink hair sounds great! I'd LOVE to see that!!
You should at least get that stuff that washes out and do hot pink streaks for the Def Leppard concert. That would be FUN!!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Mutt Princess,
well as long as I do not have to save man kind..I should be good to go then;)

Slick,
you were not looking close enough, its lonely.

Cheeky,
nope..dont want to hear baout babies turning 15..

Humincat,
no deal:)

Jamie,
i know, its like she has grown up over night, and I dont like it..

what fun is having pink hair if it washes out?..haha

Ems said...

waiiiiiit..


e..f....g... okay.


she is a dolly. what a cutie. Happy Birthday to her.

And you won't be taking your bible? What kind of Def Lepp concert are you going to? ~snort~

Neurotic1 said...

Looks like a great birthday blast! Have fun at the concert and keep your uterus stilled! As for the condom thingie- Mr. Shaky should just go get snipped, snipped ;) Much easier for the guy!

Gette said...

Theres a booth with really loud music way up by the skate park at the state fair giving away free razors. Getcha some.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Ems,
So, u think I should take the Bible?

maybe...u might be right..

Nuerotic,
if he got snip snipped..my uterus would go into a depression and I can not afford the pills it would take to cure that depression.

Gette,
do they play good music?

Scarlet said...

Another Def Leppard show?? How many do you go to in one month??? Who's gonna wet their pants this time?? Don't forget your camera!

~Your 80s pop tart friend

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Tiff,
how grand it would be if I could go to more then one Lepp show in a month..I just go about two or three times a year...

:)
;)

oh and I am going with my mom, and she better stay dry the whole night;)

Wendy said...

My uterus has been talking to me lately. Telling me I need a baby sister...oh wait! That is my son telling me he wants a baby sister. I'll get right on that!

AndrewJohnson said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Ba Doozie said...

congrats, only you could look that slutty in a pink nike t-shirt. you've taken sluttiness to an all new level and you are now my hero