Friday, August 24, 2007


Its just sickening....

I check the nice US Government website that is set up for people like me who were screwed up the waa-zoo and are now jobless..and waiting for their unemployment..

Says its still pending. How can it be pending after nearly three weeks? My former employer sent us all up there, said they were not going to fight any of


This is another reason I think forming my own government would be a wise move.

The State/country would run much smoother under my guidelines and rules.

I am not bragging, I am just stating facts. Pure facts people.

Its a damn good thing I am not a single mom who was living paycheck to paycheck and waiting for this free money to be had. I would have no TP to decorate the post office as I would not have two dimes to rub together.

I want my money. I want to hold my unemployment credit card in my hands. Smell it. Lick it. Use it.

I had big plans for this windfall. And now the state is screwing me again.

Not only do they NOT have Secretary of State Offices where I can get a state licence in a timely fashion, I cant get my money..

and for those of you wondering, no...I still have no MN drivers lic. I mean here in my town you can only take the test on TUESDAY between 8 and 10 shit...oh and at the National Guard office..

i cant make this stuff up folks..

So there I go, driving on my Michigan licence, praying I don't get pulled over anymore cause I don't think I have enough lip gloss to get me out of that one again.

So I go to check my mail, hoping for one of two things.

*shit from granny


I got none.

But I did get this.


in the corner it says final can this be my final notice when this is my ONLY notice.

When I talked to the douche bag at the Post Office yesterday he said I had NO mail there. SO if I have NO mail there, then how the hell do I have mail waiting for me?

So I guess tomorrow I am going to walk up to the USPS and ask how I can have mail waiting that I don't have.

I am going to ask him why he lied to me.

I am going to put on a big production, you can count on that.

And if its not the letter from granny or the stuff my Krazymom...There will be words, maybe break out in fist a cuffs.

not sure.

I may or not be arrested. I just hope I do not get thrown in the cell with them big Indian girls who wanted to kill me when I worked there.

And let me tell you..Big Indian Girls get mad when little blonde headed bitches like myself take away there TV for a week...

I think they threaten the life of my first born.

But since its a govt crime..assaulting or verbally abusing a postal employee, they may just throw Federal charges and in that case, I will be going to prison.

Here's hoping anyway.

So here is me..waiting...




Oh and I have a nasty case of gas too...


Neurotic1 said...

Okay so now you have no excuse other than not having gas money. Go get your damn license! Maybe that little orange thing from the post office is a note from unemployment saying~ since you don't really live in this state~we can't pay you ;)

Flip Flop Goddess said...

damn woman, dont make me beat u..

Tom said...

Dang!! Those cinamelts really did go to your hips!! But you know, the photo is strangley erotic. Try Beano, or eat a pound or so of cheese for the gas, or punish the bees by driving them around in the car windows locked up with the heat on (only if you have driver controlled power windows)

Tom said...

I meant drive them around with the heat on, while you still have the flatulence...btw..what happened to the archives?

Flip Flop Goddess said...

told ya they were going to my hips..and butt and boobs and thighs..

cheese gives me worse pain...and the GI one wants that.

my archives?..arent they here?

shit i dunno..

Scarlet said...

If you really looked like that, you'd have more problems than the ones you wrote about. These things shall pass.

1 plus twins said...

ok i totally forget what i was gonna say cuz i am laughing so damn hard at the picture!!!

jsull said...

damn bossy you didnt tel us u were dieting!
you've lost weight since i last saw you
go girl!
and a clevedge shot will getcha out of more tickets than lips gloss

ole crack

Humincat said...

That has to be fake, it has to be, it has to be, it has to be, ok I'm better now, thanks for the mini stroke you just caused, cause honestly, that could be me in few months if I don't get my butt in gear! Well, I may be exxagerating a bit, 140-SCARY FAT would take awhile longer.....

Cliff said...

1. I love what you've done with your hair.
2. Where did you get that fabulous bedspread? What I can see of it looks delightful.
3. Lets hope both you and the usps don't both go postal at the same time.
4. Maybe a run around the lake wouldn't hurt. You start and I'll email you when it's time to stop.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

what your saying that isnt me?..hehe

shes pretty sexy huh?

yup, I am down to 520 now;)

well get your butt in gear so your not joining me in the fat club;)

ok..I am starting let me know when its time to stop..

although I could die of cardiac faluire...

Yippeeskip said...

Too fucking funny!!!!

Halfmexican Mama said...

Is that a breast stemming from her upperarm region all the way to her LEGS!!!?? Please tell me no...

Settle down..youll get your shit...late but youll get it...I hope someone is not playing a nasty joke on ya...

Flip Flop Goddess said...


it is my boob dangling to my upper thigh regoin..u likey?

KrazyMom said...

So what is the verdict? Was it my package or your Grandma's that they were hording at the post office for weeks? Bastards!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

I have not got up there yet...I did not get my notice till about 4, and was too lazy to go up there..So later today I am gonna get my ass up there and see what it is..

Emma Sometimes said...

Yeah! Stuff from Granny!

Unemployment takes about 3 to 4 weeks doesn't it?

That takes some mad skilz to get that size..and to think it looks good on the internet. I think that is how I will look if Krispy Kreme by my house keeps throwing up that "FRESH HOT" sign.

PS. You can just add your archives from the 'ADD ELEMENTS' section. Press of a button..FYI.

Emma Sometimes said...

Also, don't worry about Doozie, she just has some bad trolls...

Flip Flop Goddess said...

well we all know I am the Queen of madskills..

I think i got rid of my archives on purpose..but I can bring them back now..

let me know when your ready to work on my fall template...thats where u have mad skills..

I will kill the trolls of need be.

Vani said...

LMAO! omg that pic scared me, here i was reading and scrolling, reading and scrolling and them BAM!! lol

i've been on that side too, the first one takes forever (who knows why) and they the others come in a timely fashion. i think they want you to suffer first, or find a job!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

well I aint looking for one..haha

Its not that I really even need the money, its the princeable of the whole thing...3 weeks is a hellofalong time..

and I hate waitig for shit;)

Michele_3 said...


I hope you find out something soon about unemployment- I'm so sorry your going through this- you never deserved to be let go anyhow you know...
Take care!!

Chels-Puddle Jumper said...

I got a package today, and thank goodness I was home. Because even though it was the FIRST attempt to deliver the package, the postal worker was all ready to put a final notice on my door. WTF?

I do like my regular mailman, he's dependable, but when he's on vacation, those subs sucks today.

Hope you get your money soon!

Ba Doozie said...

I'm speechless, that picture just about put me into an early grave. Thanks for that. I sure hope you like eating bark off tree's because if you're waiting on the govies, that's what you'll be doing. Either that or living in a van down by the river eating a steady diet of government cheese.

ohhhhhh flipflop...don't run away from your FEELINGSSSSSSSSSSS

Krystal said...

Suddenly I'm really pissed at myself for eating those four cookies yesterday and the fries I had at Wendy's today...

Choppzs said...

Oh My Gawwwd, lol, that is soooo gross! lol

Jamie Dawn said...

You and I both need to win the lottery.
They don't have the lottery here in this Hick State, so my dad plays in CA and promises to give me some if he wins.
I haven't changed my license either. I've lived in Hickville for just over 2 years now, and I still use my CA license. We did change the plates on our vehicles though. I plan to use my CA license until it expires in 9 of 08. I still have another year. Yipppeeee!!
Please don't shoot anyone in the post office. You will make the news if you do, and I will know it was YOU who caused all the hoopla. Just use some brass knuckles or something and keep and low profile.

Jamie Dawn said...

If that's you...

you may need to run some more. :-)