Monday, April 02, 2007

Cat scratch fever

When I was a child, I would go to church with the older couple who lived two houses down from us. I don't know if they were trying to get a head start on saving my soul, or if they thought they would get bonus points from the Big Man for taking the pagan children to His house of worship. Either way, my sister and I went. AND we liked going. I liked going for two reasons..



* The babies in the nursery.



* Pot luck.



It seemed we had a pot luck nearly every week..All the sauerkraut, brownies, cakes, cookies and side dishes u can imagine. I loved it..



Now adays, only thing that gets me to go is if the bees are in some sort of performance. As was this Sunday. Palm Sunday.



Now I know I need to get a different frame of mind, because Holy Shit, Mr Shaky is studying to be a minister. That means not only do I HAVE to go, but I have to pretend I am enjoying it.



My only hope is that we end up in a church where they love them some pot lucks.



I have soooo outgrown the babies in the nursery.



~



I think I may try to find some bags of the cat food laced with rat poison. My cat still feels the need to urinate on my shit. How she knows its mine, I don't know. but she does. Now she has taken into pissing in my laundry basket with the clean socks in it..I think when she sees me digging thru the socks trying helplessly to find mates, she is snickering in the cornor just knowing I am eventually gonna find the socks she pee peed on.



I have had this cat for 6 years. She has been a good cat. I hate doing it. But I am calling all the local Chiniese joints to see what I can get for her. She is a big girl, has a lot of meat on her bones, they can get at least 3 or 4 sweet and sour "chickens out of her.



~



here is my weekly photo. I am hoping before too long I will be sporting back bones and maybe some ribs popping thru my skin..








@@@@@@@!!!!!!!~~~~~~~~***&&&&%%$#@!~


We will see, I am shooting for early June for the bone popping. I don't have that much will power.

~

We are being forced to make the great trek across the plains of the Midwest this summer. We told ourselves no way in hell are we making a trek to the great lake state this year. No how. No way.


Guess where the hell we are going?


sonofabitch.

!


it seems my FIL feels the need to marry for the third time to a woman he has not yet known a year. He insists he cant do it unless we are there and has even asked Mr Shaky to be his best man.


sonofabitch.
!!

So I am gonna drive with the kids, a few weeks before this blessed event so I can spend time with my family and the one or two friends I may or may not have.

Might be gone about 3-4 weeks. I am sure I wont be going to the wedding, as I can not gut to look at the FIL for more then 3 seconds at a time.

Did I tell u he tried making out with me on my gradation day?

Um, yeah.

This is what I am dealing with.

So our summer trip to the Mountains of Rushmore..Cancelled yet again.

When oh when will ole Bossy get to see faces of our fore fathers engraved in rock?


Not this fu*king year I guess.


sonofabitch.

17 comments:

Neurotic1 said...

Maybe, just maybe you'll be there when we will be there! Doesn't it suck that it ends up being a vacation when in reality it is the farthest thing from a vacation! Maybe Mr. Shaky can get his internet license and marry the old bloke! That might make the wedding more fun ;O

Neurotic1 said...

Oh- I forgot- Happy Anniversay!

eyes_only4him said...

Thank you:)

when r u gonna be there?..I am thinking of leaving July 10 the wedding is august 4th..then leave the monday after this "wedding"

can u be the best man and the offical cermaony partaker?..haha

Bella said...

I hated pot lucks when I was a kid, the old ladies at my church made nasty jello creations and 80 million bean casseroles. YUCK!

Anonymous said...

Happy happy anniversary!!! Especially since it really is!

So your FIL thinks the third time will be the charm?! Hasn't been so far for my beyond gross BIL. He treats this one like dirt as well and can't figure out what's wrong with these women. See what happens when you get me started?! Why do these guys think everyone needs to come watch the horror show? The funny thing is I was trying to find the first wife's new address right before reading this. See how much we think alike. Frightening...

The dudes in the mountain are pretty cool but I had to go visit them one too many times when we lived in ND growing up. Sad since you are so close.

eyes_only4him said...

Ktlee,
I am not a fan of the "cassorole"..no way..uck.

Tammy,
I would say great minds think alike, but I dont have a mind at all, so I dont wanna lump u in that catagory:)

Fantastagirl said...

I'm thinking skip the wedding and go see the prez heads in a mountain. But that's just me....

Anonymous said...

well if u are gonna be soul savin in the south then u could be in luck
i dunno how any church that calls their leaders ministers does it but where they say preacher or Brother So n So then them folks right there kno how to grub!
I mean its troughs and troughs of good home cooked vittles, they will talk about ur ass ifn u bust up in there with some store bought shit! I mean thats the work of ole Diablo!
he could be in ur mist ifn u tote some stuff from the store up in there.
anyway
hope Mr. Shakey is still tickled with putting up with ur shit after 12 years!!
later tater
js
(pro grubber as is evidenced by my ever bulging gut)

eyes_only4him said...

Fantstagirl,
shit, I wish..trust me.

Slick Willy,
pastor, preacher, minister,brother, preist...all the damn same to me dude:)

I think mr shaky is pretty happy..he aint complaing so far..haha

ok, maybe he does.

Anonymous said...

hehe
he does?
you don't say!!!!
well the churches here that have ministers are hoytie toytie, tooty frooty, and all uppity
i dont attend those!
where they preach hell fire and damnation they tend to need to eat good right after!
j

eyes_only4him said...

slick brother willy,
well so far this church dont eat good, havent had a good church pot luck since 85:)

Wendy said...

I have been planning on making a trip out that way to see the prez heads sometime. My family is from the Dakotas.

I got dragged to confirmation classes every Sunday as a kid and haven't been back to church since unless it was for a funeral or wedding. I have a lot of issues with organized religion.

Anonymous said...

Do u refer to your old man as "Shaky Puddin" cause if u do that so hilarious its one of my favorite names...heehee..read my blog bitch..posted a new one...lets go streakin when u come up!!

Halfmexican Mama said...

Do u refer to your old man as "Shaky Puddin" cause if u do that so hilarious its one of my favorite names...heehee..read my blog bitch..posted a new one...lets go streakin when u come up!!

eyes_only4him said...

wendy,
I have the same issues..we are like two peas in a pod:)

Jill,
are u haveing an identy crisis?

No he is mr shaky cause he has issues...
;)

Cricky said...

I LOVE POT LUCKS...unless they have that jello with the fruit stuff and cream cheese or sour cream or what ever that shit is.

EWW...

Unknown said...

You can do the Black Hills into one weekend. We left at 1 am Friday and came home Monday night last memorial wknd and saw everything we wanted. Do Crazy Horse at night. The light show is much better than Rushmore. We stayed at the Hill City Super 8 and did the south route. There's always more to see, but we had plenty o' fun. It was 7 hours from here to the Badlands, so that means 8 for you. You can do both trips. I have confidence in you.