Tuesday, April 17, 2007

permanent vacation

I am about ready to toss my young to the pack of wolves whom live in my community. I am about ready to throw myself in front of the train that passes by here every 30 minutes. I don't even care where its going, the point is, its going.

I am about ready to snap. No, I have already snapped.

I have my new passport, and I am going away for a bit. I need to go empty out my Swiss Bank accounts.

I saw a program tonight on The National Geographic Channel, that maybe it is possible for wild animals to take care of little humans. A boy lived with monkeys, and a girl was raised by her dogs in the yard. Granted, she barked and walked on all fours, but she was no worse for the wear.

The kids will be fine.

Mr Shaky, well he might miss me. After all I do make him dinner, wash his clothes, and make sure the animals are fed.

Oh and speaking of animals, if my cat uses my carpet for a fourth rest area, I will kill it. I will take its neck and I will snap it. I told u I have snapped.

I have been a bad blogger, I have been an even worse daily living human.

I am hoping this break will make me not want to feed my young to Dingo's and snap my cats neck.

I am totally pissed off at a number of things. Mostly to do with my husbands family, and just the wear and tear of life. I mean holy shit, I will be another year older in two weeks.

That is one more year closer to death. One more day, minute, mili-second.

My mid-life crises of last year, well, I have not fully recovered from it. Because I feel the need for a shiny red car, a tan..opps have on of them already, lots of mixed drinks and even more coconut oil.

My kids are retarded, my hubby is mildy retarded, and his family is a bunch of full functioning retards that really need to be living in some sort of house for special rejects that piss me off....I swear, out of his whole clan, there might be one or two non retards. And they are both females.

My kids having these genes intertwined with my good ones, is scaring me. I don't know if my good genes are strong enough to over power the rampid idiocy that plagues his family. God bless him, he is the only spawn from his mom's loins that has been spared.

God speed Mr Shaky, God speed.

So please forgive my lack of reading u, or my lack of responding, I am reading it, I just am too pooped to do anymore. I must be having some sort of shift in my hormones, or just realizing the fact that I may house the only living, breathing non retards in this blood line.

I mean, my kids are still a tad spent, but they are pretty much harmless. You can easily recover from this disability with wheat germ and small doses of medicinal crack.

So we are good here. The kids are still young enough to be saved.

I need to go pack, I need to go make a to-do list.

If its not on my list, I cant do it.

Oh and you mother fuc*ers who rent my house in the homeland, today is the 17th, the rent is due on the 1st....On my way to my global destination, I am gonna stop by and kick your asses, hand u a nice shiny well typed eviction notice, and take u out back and just beat u until my legs give out.

or the cop fat mike shows up...you girls in the homeland know who I mean..

Alicia, Jill, Carmen,Kelly...back me up on this...there really is a 500 pound city cop, who cant even get his belly in and out of the squad car, so he just drives around aimlessly. I swear, over 500 pounds at least, and he is protecting the fine citizens of my former community...yup, they are in good hands.

Ok, now that I have single handedly insulted everyone, I better run along. My Xanex is starting to take effect, so that means I need to gulp down some cough syrup with codeine and a wine cooler, just for that little extra kick.

As soon as my vacation is over and I have recovered from the woes that linger in my mind, I will be back in full blog swing.

I may have to make an unexpected trip home, my grandpa starts his chemo soon, and if he gets ill, I want to go and help my grandma for a bit..

So many damn things on my mind. I want to physically do harm to a few people, so its best I go for a while, and let my drug induced stooper help me thru it all.

It worked for Anna.

If you hear about a 150 pound blonde lady, with rocket red highlights in her platinum blonde hair, OD-ing on vicodine, xanex, ambien and Kahlua, thats me..

My only hope is there is no creep there with a camera phone taking pics of me to post on youtube or something..


but at least they know who my baby daddy is, not like they would be lineing up the bloack anyway..

sonofabitch again.

Bee Drug Free.


keesh said...

Hey bossy....glad to see you are in such a positive mood today :)> HA! good luck with keeping the kids out with the wolves...they usually come back.

Hails said...

I hope u feel better soon hun. Take a biiiiggggg deep breah and tell everyone to f off coz you need some space!!!


patti_cake said...

Bossy you sound like me... last week.
I hope you get everything in order and get to go home and see your grandparents. Hugs!

P.S. I just turned 40 last October, if I can survive that all the rest will be a piece of cake!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

hey girl.....so you think they are gonna come back huh?..damnit

thank you, I have been breathing all day..haha

and trust me, I have said just that to some people..hehe

40 huh? wow...good for u..I will be in my early to mid 30's...so your staying there is still hope for me huh?

I am gonna try my damnest to get out of the funk I am in...but it aint looking good.

Neurotic1 said...

Come on down- we can take xanex and drink margaritas together. Is fat Mike still around? I'd have thought he wouldv'e had a coronary by now! You need to go home, kick some ass, take names, and give gramps a big hug! I hope today is better!

J to the I to the double L said...

U want me to go over there and rough em up for ya?? People say that their really strange, theres always a bunch of cars there but they never open the blinds...I mean all the blinds in the house are ALWAYS shut..Fat Mike needs to join the cast of Reno 911..im sure he would fit right in!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I am on my way down...make sure u have plenty of pills and alcoholic bevagres..i dont like beer, so dont owrry bout me getting into yours:)

hmm, yes, go rough em up...I dont even know thier damn names, so i cant even call...I dont know the phone number..all I know is they are on my shit list.

fat Mike of Reno 911, might make for good comedy,

Vani said...

sounds like you need to take a day off all to yourself..just drop the kids off at the pound and go get your hair or nails done. that's what i do, and dont worry- the kids might come back walking on all 4's, but it'll be worth it. :)

Britmum said...

Hey come and visit me. I have a guest room just for you.

I hope you feel better soon.

Hugs to you xx

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

shit i just got my hair done friday, and my nails are so nice i dont need to pay to have them done..hehe

I am on my way, make sure u have plenty of dt dr pepper, and lobster tails:)

Katie said...

I make good drinks, I will make some for you.

Christie said...

ack! I knew I forgot something... you vote in the RFS Blog awards by either leaving a comment or emailing me at chlnature@hotmail.com
adding the link to the post now.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

count me in..

ok...thanks..I was wondering..hehe

cathouse teri said...

You need to watch a movie called "Shirley Valentine."


The Kept Woman said...

I would like to come.

I don't really care where it is so long as my children and husband can't find me.

And it's warm.

I'm 2 sexy for my hair said...

yeah u can pop off about that baby daddy stuff
but i want a friggin blood test!
i mean u know
do the math
have a good trip
they are gonna test me if u OD
i want some of that fortune u have made being a lepp groupie!

Princess said...

Aww Bossy! *hugs*

You sound like you need to take some "me" time!
Make sure you are taking care of yourself! Have a bath and a glass of wine!
Hope your feeling better now!


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Cat House teri,
your not tricking me, its not some sort of porno is it?..hah

get your ass here, I am leaving Thursday, pronto.

Slick willy,
well after what he did tonight, u can come get him, no blood test required, I am sure mr shaky would hand him over..

thanks sweety, I do need some wine, lots of it too:)

js said...

how else would i be so sure he was mine if he didnt act like me????????????

js said...

how else would i be so sure he was mine if he didnt act like me????????????

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well I dont know if he aks like u or not...BUT, he nearly got the ass beating to end his life tonight..

i mean it was thisclose..

j said...

my folks used to beat my ass upon awaking in the morning because they knew i was gonna get it soon anyway

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

thats damn good stradegy

Ba Doozie said...

long live the crack whores of america

Packof2 said...

have a good vacation & try to relax:)


Tomscockwhore said...

Holy Shit Batman! You've lost your freakin mind! Bout time you joined the rest of us! LMAO.

Tomscockwhore said...

Oops forgot - keep your chin up, lock your front door, don't beat your children (too hard), remember to take your happy pills (we all do), and pray for tomorrow!!

Jerry said...

My goodness. You're a scary one today, aren't you. I hope Mr. Shaky is wearing a cup.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

ba doozie,

thanks..I am starting to cool off now..hehe

i been crazy for years honey..hehe

not just today, but everyday;

~Deb said...

Hey babycakes! Now that was one postful of complaints there missy! First of all, I was raised by wolves. Seriously. My mother raised 9 Great Danes, and the mother took me one day by the back of the shirt, and picked me up to put me in her litter. She wouldn't give me up and growled at anyone who came to get me.

GAWD, am I that much of a dog??? (Don't answer that!) But luckily, I survived the family of danes. Can you tell by my stunning features?

Blonde with rocket red highlights? Now that's hot! Pick me up in your little red Corvette and we can go cruising around NYC. Whatchya' think? I'll HAPPILY go through mid-life crisis with you sweetie!

Hang in there!

Working Mom said...

I have some catching up to do!

1st of all, I like your hair! Looks summery!!

I've told you many times, come to hot as hell FL and visit me! Up for hanging out with a cranky preggo lady?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well when i get my red rocket hair and my little red corvette, i will be there:)

working mom,
if u dont mind being a cranky NON preggo, count me in..