Sunday, April 08, 2007

Suicide Blonde

Well, the play at church went well. The first half of the theatrical production Shaky was not in it. Boo kept saying " where is daddy momma?" I kept telling her he was coming. Before to long, they draw the curtain, the lights go dim , they open the curtain and there he stand, hanging on the cross, head down, thorns on his head and all sorts of dried blood on his torso, hands and face.

Boo says loudly " momma, why isn't daddy talking?"

After the production our pastor whom I refer to as "pastor Ihatefatpeople"

(and trust me, that is a story all in itself) says to me , about an elderly woman whom was commenting on the play..asked him if Jesus was played by a real person or if it was a rubber Jesus.

Pastor Ihatefatpeople told her it was Mr Shaky, this woman "helps" Mr shaky in the Sunday School class, so she knows full well of who he is..

She still kept insisting it was a rubber Jesus.

I told Shaky it either means u were a good Jesus, or she was hoping to take home a blow up doll...not sure which.


I am having issues with Pat, my trusty ole Ipod. Now the bitch/bastard wont let me skip songs. So when I am out running, and a song that doesn't get me pumped comes on, I still have to listen to it. I will be damned if I call the smart asshats at Applesucksasses and tell them about it. I don't need them sending me a box to put him/her in. They took Sheila away, and sent me Pat. They assured me it was brand new Ipod, but I am thinking they lied. How can it be broke already? Apple, u still suck asses..Keep up the good work assholes.


An old Friend of mine sent me this pic. It was taken in the summer of 85 or 86.
I am the cutie in the middle and that is my childhood home in the back, the house I now own now and am trying to sell it/find a good arsonist.
It looks as though I am just staring to sprout my boobies. Like I have boobie buds. We have a big ass pool in our yard, so this was my entire wardrobe every summer till I got a period. Then on those days I sported long t-shirts over top the swimsuit.
The girl with the candy stripper outfit on was my best friend back then. She lived next door, and the other girl is her sister, whom was best buds with my sister.
How embarrassing is that?
I have white legs, a bad perm, new boobies and one ugly ass swim suit.
If only I looked that good in a swimsuit now a days.
Bee prepared


"T" said...


"T" said...


I always laugh at dorks that do that.

Anne said...

Happy Easter girly! Bunny bring you anything good?

Married to Or is he really a blow-up doll and you've been letting us think Mr Shaky is real?

Princess said...

Happy Easter Bossy, and to your family! (Woohoo, married to Jesus ;) Lol

Love the pic! :D


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

u laugh at dorks that do what? I friggin forgot what the hell I wrote..Guess I best go back and see..shit.

bunny never brings me anything, damnitall. Yup, married to Jesus..and some days it feels like I am married to a blow up doll;)

same to u...

isnt that pic the freakeist shit?..haha

Wendy said...

Don't worry, I have pictures of myself looking exactly the same. My dad had a pool so I lived in a bathing suit too, had the permed hair, and the whitest skin a person should be allowed to have! Those were the days!

Beanie said...

leave me alone


i bought my son an ipod for his bday, it broke in one week, they sent a "new" one, it broke in two days...I might have to blow apple sky high

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

glad I am not the only one who sported a look of that sort..hehe

I told u time and time again, so not buy apple, cuz applesucksasses..

we need to start a apple movment.

Miss 1999 said...

Glad to hear your church program went well-- although I MUST hear about pastor Ihatefatpeople-- GOTTA hear that story...

Sorry about the ipod troubles. You know, I'm not that far advanced in technology yet, so I have no words of wisdom or nuggets of joy to share with you there.

I love the old school pic. I've got a few of those, where it's fun to remember the good times, but so sad to look at how pitiful we were back then!

Anyway, I hope you and your family have a safe, happy, and blessed Easter! *Hugs*

Neurotic1 said...

I love the pic in your suit! I don't remember Lisa living in the homeland that early. Don't worry we all had bad perms back in the day! My goal was to look like Annie ;O So Mr. Shaky is made up of rubber. Can he stretch like stretch Armstrong?

Jamie Dawn said...

Happy Easter!!

A rubber Jesus, huh? What WAS that lady smoking? What a silly comment.
I guess that means Mr. Shaky was perfectly still though since she thought he was fake.
What a dumb woman!
She may need some professional help.

I sure hope your Pastor's wife isn't fat, cause if he hates fat people, then he hates his wifey poo.

How cute that Boo was looking for her dad, and I'm shocked she didn't freak out when she saw him.
"Momma! Is that my REAL daddy or is it a rubber daddy?"
Obviously, that lady's comment is still bugging me. I've never in my life seen a rubber Jesus used in an Easter play.
Can you even imagine a full sized rubber Jesus?
That lady has a screw loose or something.

The Kept Woman said...

I love that you have an entire category dedicated to blow up dolls.

Additionally I think that there may be a market for rubber know, like rubber chickens but more religious?

Will look into...

Katie said...

Married to Jesus, only to find out he's rubber. What a pisser.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Miss 1999,
I will write about how he hates fat people on my next post..

yup, Lisa moved next to me gosh around 84 or 85..they rented the house next to us for years and years.

My sister had annie glasses..what a loser..hehe

it bugged me too..I mean, he totally looked real to me.

Well, his wife isnt fat, but she aint skinny either..he is a sad, sad little man..

I got catagoires for all sorts of important stuff;)

no kidding!!

"T" said...

I meant, I laugh at dorks that write "first" in the first comment box :)

...and yes, I am finally getting back here.

So many blogs....

you know.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

but i thought i was your one and only...shit...

so many blogs, so little time..

i cant talk, I cant even fix my fucking blogroll!