Tuesday, April 10, 2007

we just figured out blues clues

Right now its 60 degrees out. To most of you that probably means nothing, and I understand that. You see, it has been in the 30's and 40's for the last two weeks. Its almost like winter had returned before spring had a chance to take her coat off and stay awhile.

I look outside, the skies are blue, the birds are mating I mean singing, not a cloud in the sky. In fact, I am going on my 7 mile walk with a girlfriend in a few short hours. I am going to enjoy every minute of the sunshine and warm air.

You see, starting Tuesday morning we are under a Winter Storm Watch. We are expected to pick up around 8 inches of snow fall.

This is why people commit suicide. I already suffer from seasonal depression. I am on the boarder line of ending it all right now. I mean today is nice, but I know whats about to linger in my yard in a few hours.

Good thing I don't have any weapons in my house. Good thing also that I am way to chicken to slit my own throat with a butter knife, or it could get bloody around here.

~
Boo was watching Noggin as any other day. I looked over and she was sleeping. She had her tiny ass was in the fetal position sleeping soundly.

The retard that I am, was still watching Noggin and it did not even phase me. I was watching Pinky Dinky Do, wondering what her made up story was going to be about today...I was waiting for her big idea....

Then the next thing I know Directv flashed up on the screen that my TV had been on so long they wondered if I had committed seasonal suicide today. I was pissed cause Joe was just going over what the three clues for the day, and I was hoping to get it right...The clues were

Bible
Buttcheecks
Hat

I knew it right away

the person Blue was thinking about today was

Pastor Asshat.

~
After watching a show last night about a boy who had tape worms in his brain from under cooked pork, I refuse to eat pork anymore.

but the kicker was the boy and his family were Orthodox Jews, and not allowed to consume pork. Guess where he got from..go ahead and guess..

They had a housekeeper from Guatemala and come to find out, she was loaded with them. The boy got it from her fecal matter. When she dropped a load in the family john, she did not wash her hands, then the eggs from the tapeworm were on her hands, and then when she prepared the family dinner, the eggs dropped into the boys food..

Are u hungry?

That scared me straight of two things. No pork. No third world country housekeepers.

sonofabitch.

Bee Nice.

29 comments:

Tomscockwhore said...

I used to find myself watching kids shows even when the kids weren't too.

Fortunately I work outside the house now and am only tempted to watch the soaps and Bob Barker that the old people watch!!

Cold here too, 44 degrees and my son is out playing T-ball. Insane. Snowed on Easter, and the day before. But only flurries! Thankfully!

Back from the dead and feeling better. Thanks for the well-wishes!

Neurotic1 said...

Yuck on the weather. You need to get the hell away from that crappy state!

I can honestly say that I have never watched Blues Clues! I have been catching up on episodes of Angelina though ;)

What is it with your dish? Tell those assholes that you will turn the tv off when you are good and ready! I guess Gore has got to them too about all the electricity shit!

Jamie Dawn said...

That worm thing is frickin' HITONIOUS!!!!!
I saw a show once all about human parasites such as various worms that can get into our bodies in a variety of ways. It makes you want to do nothing but take showers and slather yourself with antibacterial gel and spray Lysol all over the whole house every ten minutes or so.

Snow??!!!
No WAY!
You MUST move south!!!!

Jamie Dawn said...

Global warming??

Apparently the state you live in hasn't been affected yet.

Chels-Puddle Jumper said...

I'm pissed at Mother Nature. She sure fooled me. It was 85 degrees here last Tuesday, and yesterday it was fucking snowing. I want my warm weather back. Good luck with the snow. Make sure Mr. Shaky has his shovel ready.

And oh, I am so grossed out about that story about tape worms. Nasty.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

TCW,
well my one job is from 4pm till midnight, so i am still here at prime kids showing veiwing time...it sucks..

glad your back;)

Neurtic,
you dont know what your missing if u have not seen blues clues..come on now.

the dish people like to tell me when my satiltte has been inactive for more then so many hours, meaning" holy shit, u watch a lot of tv"

Jamie,

I need to come move in with u, so we can sip tea on your porch:)

and no, global warming has not hit us yet...darnit

puddle jumper,
sad thing is, there is gonna be enough to shovel ...8 inches..mothertrucker.

that worm thing is damn gross, dont eat pork..hehe

Karin said...

Thanks now I am going to be freaking out about tape worms all night. My direct tv doesn't do that and I can watch the same show for hours. You have some kind of weird ass box at your house. I can't believe it is going to snow again, man I am glad I live in California where we don't have weather.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Karin,
your jewish, u shouldnt have to worry about that..hehe

Well, mine pops up after like 4 or 5 hours, it says

" your system has been inactive, do u want to conitue viewing"

assholes.

Fantastagirl said...

Stop bragging about the 60 degree weather - that's not fair!

It was only in the lower 40's today - and that is still too cold, and now they are calling for SNOW in the morning - NOT FUN...

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Fantstagirl,
oh no...I was not bragging, I was saying we are under a winter storm watch and going to pick up 8 inches of snow by Wed morning..

I am in a deep depression now...not good..

Raggedy said...

Fantastic Easter pictures and post!
We are getting the snow tomorrow too.
Yikes on that tape worm story!
Hubby fixed our computer problems.
Huggles and Love from our home to yours,
Raggedy

aatank said...

Thank goodness my kids have a TV upstairs, so I don't have to watch their cartoons. Although we did watch Charlotte's Web on Easter Sunday.

I checked the weather this moring and we are to get the remains of your storm, but only up to 5 inches on Wednesday. Wishing for warmer weather~ Have a good day and stay away from the butter knives.

Hails said...

LOL about the blues clues! your a cracker dude.

send the snow to me. the bitch will melt before i even see it. Damn heat. bloody hate it. Today was fing sticky again. I WANT RAIN ADN COLD DAMNIT!!!!

Sooooo gross about tapeworm. That just makes me wanna go to chemist and get some worming tablets for me, the dog and rob. Who knows who could be preparing my lunch at work isnt third world maid like. YUK YUK YUK

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Raggedy,
I hope u dont get too much snow...sorry for sending it your way if i am..hehe

Aatank,
Blondie and I saw CW at the theater when it came out, that was pretty cute..

SO far it isnt snowing yet, I am hoping it is all a big fat misunderstanding:)

Hails,
I will send u my snow, if u send me your hot stickyness.

I LOVE hot and I LOVE Sticky:)

Cliff Morrow said...

Before you assume room temperature at the hands of your butter knife, would you mind very much posting ahead a month or two. It would make our loss more tolerable knowing we had something of you left to hold on to.

patti_cake said...

We just got Sprout and Boom and I was enthralled last night.
I can feel ya on the cold front coming in and spoiling all of the warm fun. Sucked for us Fri-today. Supposed to get warmer tomorrow. I'm not holding my breath yet.
I cannot believe it about that housekeeper. That is ga-ross!!!

JD's Rose said...

So not hungry.

Maybe you should consider swapping to plastic... no risk of permanant suicide then.

xxx

~Deb said...

Okayyyyyy, you totally went from the weather to fecal matter dropping in food. Lovely my dear, just lovely! (Thus the very reason I visit you often!!!)

Anyway, this weather has my psychiatrist making a lot of money right now- and medications are handed out like fricken candy! Whooo hoooo!

Let’s get to the topic of food… Pork… Yes, you can get worms. You can also develop cancer from eating too much fish- the mercury counts are endless. Chicken---have you seen the way they’re raised? And have you seen the way they’re slaughtered? They walk around in their own feces. You have to think about that little factor as well. Cows? Mad cow disease? They feast on eating food that’s made out of meat---sometimes eating their OWN meat, which creates the damn disease to begin with. Spinach? Welp-----that alone will give you the e-coli bug! You’ve seen that huge bug go around the U.S. faster than you can say, Immodium!’

So, sweetie, don’t fear food, because everything we eat is basically tainted. Everything we try to stay away from, is just as bad as what we have in our fridge. What about the leak in the peanut butter company that fell in each container? Everyone got sick. It doesn’t matter. Something’s gonna get to ya regardless.

Okayyyyy, I need a drink now!

just_tammy said...

Eeeeew to the worms!

We had snow flurries yesterday and will be getting more this week. Hopefully it won't stick. The pretty green grass is nicely mowed and not wanting a ice cold blanket of snow.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Cliff,
anything for you..

Patticake,
I feel I am being ripped off by the cold crap..damn..

and the worms pork thing still has me all grossed out..yuck

JD,
I like your idea on the plastic, no washing dishes that way either cause I would just use em, toss em;)


Deb,
ok downer debbie..haha

To tell you the truth, the way they slaughter the chicks or anything else doesnt bother me..There is no good way to kill an animal so ole Bossy can consume it..hehe

I need to go see your doc...I like candy, I mean xanax:)

Tam,
we are suppose to get around 7 inches, so far...nothing..

better stay that way too.

Working Mom said...

Ok, I don't think I'm gonna be eating today. Totally yucky!!

There you go again, bragging about the snow :) Seriously, this warm for awhile then gets cold thing has got to stop. It's annoying me (though I'm not having to put up with such extreme temperatures as you).

Beanie said...

I love the way they can trace that back to the 3rdworldcountry housekeeper, what if he got it from some looser at mcdonalds? what if he got it from some lunch lady at school? how do they know she doesn't wash her hands, do they have little tiny camera's in the bathroom? I question everything. I roar, I rise up and shout!! POWER TO THE PEOPLE OF THE TAPEWORM

i've lost my mind

Choppzs said...

Holy Shit, I believe I have lost any and all appetite I may have had today!! Thanks there Bossy! No illegal alien housekeepers for me thank you very much!!! Not that I could afford a housekeeper to begin with but if I did, I would hire a nice, white old lady!! lol

Ick on the weather!! lol I can't say much, it's been sunny and 80 here for the last 2 months. I wish for rain!!!

As for Noggin, I am glad i just have digital cable, I never get those warning things!! I have never even heard of them!! lol Thank God, or I'd probably shoot the damn tv for talking back!!

Wendy said...

Yuck! what the hell channel were you watching?

I totally watch Noggin all the time too! Kid or no kid. I program the dish to automatically tune into Noggin first thing in the morning so when we wake up it is already on. Could I get any lazier?!?

Kendra Lynn said...

Ugh...tapeworms. Totally disgusting.
Today I am going up to Petoskey with my dad...it might snow while we are there.
I hate Michigan sometimes.

Kendra

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Working mom,
the other day I made u hungry and today u have made u lose your apptite, u get the best of both worlds when u come here;)

Beanie,
well they tested her and she was LOADED with them..I mean she had some many they should of been paying rent.

but I agree, u can get that shit anywhere...

Choppzs,
well the warnings are sorta funny, makes me feel like real loser..but it only does it if its been on the same channel for more then like 4 hours..hehe

Wendy,
I am an addcit to The Discovery Health Channel and TLC..it was on one fo them stations..

Noggin rules:)


Kendra,
Petosky? wow thats a drive and a half..be safe and I hope the weather holds out for ya;)

Packof2 said...

Oh...that is so sick about the worms. I don't think I will be eating anymore...ever!

kaliblue said...

I think I'm going to save this post and print it out...Why you may ask?. Cause reading the whole tape worm thingy will assure I will NEVER eat *giggles*. Ok now I have the heebie jeebies, blah, ugh, yuck!!!!

Have a great day!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

pack of 2,
well just dont hire any third world county housekeepers and u will be fine sweety;)

Kaliblue,
its pretty damn gross, but it was only from pork..so PORK.. DONT EAT IT..haha

and stay away from immigrant house keppers too:)