Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Um, yeah...So..

I am very important. You may not know this. But maybe u do, I don't know.

My importance is driving me away for a bit. I need to go kick some asses where asses need to be kicked. Its a long story, not worthy of the time it would take to type it. Just no, I am not who I seem, nor are you who u seem. Does it make sense?..Nope?..Didn't think so.

I wish I could say more, but I cant..Or I would have to kill you and your young..And I aint much into killin..Anymore...

ok, that's a joke...

that's what I do, I write jokes...But that was not a good one..

moving on...


I am not well..Not well at all.

My head is pounding, my stomach wants to spew liquid stuff out my anus..

why? cuz I had an egg nog milkshake. Now I cant do my pants up..

so anyway,


I will leave you with a top ten list....I should be good at this after all...Um yeah...Ok




top ten reason why I suck ass

10. My dog has shit caked to her ass and I just look her and tell her where the tp is.

9. I told my three year old Santa is dying.

8. Also told same 3 year that she cant marry God.

7. The thought of kicking a puppy right now, has me filled with glee

6. I plan on voting for Hillary Clinton should she run on 08

5. I bought it takes a village 10 years ago

4. I have vivid sex dreams about the blue wiggle and Oprah

3. I told Mr shaky should he ever die, I am not telling his mom where I move to.

2. I told the kids the same thing....They cried. I enjoyed it.

and the number one reason I am a dumbass...


1. cuz I said so....


yea well, that's it for me for now..I am busy rest of week, with crap u wouldn't wanna hear about. Then its gonna be Christmas...Then my FIL is coming..The bastard never brings my kids gifts. His idea of a gift is a 20 dollar savings bond that will mature sometime when the kids hit social security age...Man I hate him...

And he will be in my house...Good thing I don't plan on being here much for that...Another new years goal is to stop being a bitch to everyone..

I don't know why...Its just a goal...But man I do hate him...For many reasons..The gift thing just pisses me off.



Hope Santa is good to all of you.. and if your Jewish...um, hope you dont get crappy gifts for 8 straight days..and I think karin is my only Jew friend here..so hope u get some kick ass shit for Hanukkah girl

Bee Real



31 comments:

Karin said...

Thanks the hubs got me xm so it has been a good hannukah thus far. I am sorry you aren't feeling well. I plan to post on my blog tomorrow all of my woes and so forth.

just_tammy said...

So the eggnog milk shake did you in? That doesn't make me want to run out and get one. Think I'll pass. I already have enough problems.

A bright spot in my day yesterday was receiving a fussy Christmas card in what had to be the smallest envelope ever produced. You should be proud of yourself for getting everything in it and then some how sealing the stupid thing. You have talent!

Hope things settle down and you are able to get all of your mysterious things done. Stay away while your FIL is around so you don't make the national news. Not sure you'd be able to do much blogging behind bars!

Angie said...

Oh I get it....your name isn't actually Bossy Britches....it's BOND.....Bossy Bond......got it ;)

have a great Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Karin,
sweet....I am getting mr shaky Sirrus radio...I will pop over to your blog later then..

Tammy,
so u got your card huh?..I mailed them out long time ago and you just NOW got it?..our US postal serice sucks

Angie,
Exactly!
:)

Neurotic1 said...

007- Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. My Dad always does savings bonds. He doesn't even trust us with them. We only get the gift paper saying Dorcas has one.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

neurtic,
but I bet he eitther gets one more then 20 bucks or a present to go with it..cmome on now..

one year the FIL told us that every year for thier birthdays he was going to get them 1000 bonds..um yeah, still waiting for that shit..

He is usless, kinda like PMS, Menstrating, direaha, constipation..vomiting...u get the idea.

Brandy said...

I hope you feel better soon! Dont stray to far away! I like reading your blog bitchiness and all!!

Hubby nor mine get my kids anything. We do it all! They just love us more!heheh

Brandy said...

I hope you feel better soon! Dont stray to far away! I like reading your blog bitchiness and all!!

Hubby nor mine get my kids anything. We do it all! They just love us more!heheh

Brandy said...

I hope you feel better soon! Dont stray to far away! I like reading your blog bitchiness and all!!

Hubby nor mine get my kids anything. We do it all! They just love us more!heheh

just_tammy said...

Oh, forgot to ask if you know what the heck you are supposed to be doing at the big party? She must have a laid back teacher. Most like to tell you what to do and when and all the good stuff. Hope it goes as 'planned'! (That's supposed to be funny. Not feeling funny so...)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Brandy,
thank you..are u having troube=les with the publish button again..hehe

Tammy,
well she came home eysterday and told me her teacher said I need to bring ice cream..I still have no idea what time, or what else I am to do...so I sent a note with ehr today for her teacher to PLEASE call or at least end a note home so I know what she needs me to do..

we will see I guess..

~Deb said...

Let me just say the politically correct term and scream out, "HAPPY HOLIDAYS!" Ah screw it---MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

Eggnog milk shake? Ew!!! Girl that sounds heavier than a brick! I'd invite you over to be sick with me (because I am spewing mucus from every cavity over here) so you might as well join the club! Can you imagine if I made an eggnog milk shake though? Picture it. No- wait...don't.

Anyway, be well today and I hope you feel better!

{{hugs}}

~Deb said...

Actually, Starbuck's lattes = the same thing as eggnog milk shakes.


Really.

js said...

haaaaaaaaaaaa
ur killin me

Billery is an idiot I kinda hope if she wins the primary she wins the white house. That will definately prove the complete and total idiocy of the left. It takes a village to raise a nut! Thats what it should be titled.
anyway your not suckering me into ranting about that!
tell boo im already wed for me, let her down easy.
haaaaaaa
at anus spewing too!
i think ur FIL hatered surely is deeper than his gift ideas, I'm thinking thats a decent gift its gotta beat some goddang widget they see toss aside then play with box for hours.
Anyway
Ho Damn HO
to you are urs, and that 1 of mine too
js

Badoozie said...

top ten reasons you should not pull a disappearing act on us:

10: your a nuisance
9. you make us laugh
8. dog barf and kid poop are wonderful things to read about at any time of day
7. we need you
6. the Lord needs you
5. The wheel of fortune is no longer hiring
4. if you weren't here i'd have to fix my links
3. your blog has been nominated for the smithsonian
2. someone has to be a bitch, others arent that good at it, and the number one reason is:

1. when life hands you lemons, use them to choke someone with , then you'll feel better cause if you're not blogging, blogging will suck lemons.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Deb,
it was a brick indeed, I still cant get my pants done up..

I hope u get feeling betetr, and stay away from lattes...just do it.

Cracker,
when I die, are u gonna miss making fun of me?

btw, its your holiday with the boy, come get em..kk?

Suzie,
so, your saying I am a nusinsance huh?....yes well, I would have to agree..

but the smithsonian award, I may stick around for that shit..

Damn sexy cracker said...

meet me half way!!!!
don't die I'd not be near as tickled!
I need a dose of bein tickled everyday.
maybe I'll sendja sumthin nice for hanaka or quansi or whatever u celbrate and that'll cheer you up!
js

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Cracker,
I like diamonds, gold...and socks..I like all those things..

I dont have time to meet u halfway..I will just get him a backpack and have him start hoofing it...pick him up in say..Kentucky..ok?

Gette said...

Here's hoping your holidays get better.
From earlier posts, your kids don't have to be good because God, Santa or anyone is watching. That's why we have grace. The "goodness" comes in response to that.
So sad for Holly's family and baby. Can't imagine Boo or Thing 4 dealing with no mommy.
Are you really flying south? Good for you, but MN will miss you. We need more sass to keep the Scandahoovians awake.

Kendra Lynn said...

I hate eggnog junk.
Hope you feel better soon, and hope your FIL becomes a better person.
My grandparents used to do that to us...give us savings bonds for Christmas. What kid wants one of THOSE??? Dumb.
Okay.
I'm off to Merry's Christmas program at school.

Kendra

js said...

ok socks it is!
How bout diamond studded socks?
hmmmmmm
ok I reckon I'll get the lil crumb cruncher in KY

just a thought is that where they make the jelly?
js

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Gette,
so u think this crappy state will miss me?..nah, it doesnt even no I am here..hehe

Kendra,
I know..what kid wants a damn savings bond?..they are suppose to mature in 7 years..well my son has some that have been mature for a few yeaars and went to take them to cash them into CD's for him...his 1000 bond is only worth like 600 bucks, and its been 8 years...so I did not cash it into a cd for him yet...they said wit the interst rates the way they are..they wont mature for nealry 20 years...not freaking worth it..so ones theyg et this year will come in handy to hep burry them when they are 90..

Cracker,
the diamond studs may cause some pain on my socks...are u willing to risk that?

js said...

ummmmmmmm
who is in pain??
who is at risk?
do tell
js

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

cracker,
well if i have diamonds on my socks, and lets say I am running, and lets say I kick myself, or i get knocked down by a bear, or a kid kicks me..thats gonna hurt..

or if i get so sloppy ass drunk and fall down, and a fat man lands on me..those diamonds are gonna cut right into my ankles..can live with that?

tell santa J whatcha want said...

ok ok got it
i was thinking you were implying that I would be pained or the socks themselves would be pained!
I can take it but I can't speak for items of clothing
sigh
I try to getcha sumthin nice and you don't want it. Now what are the odds of you getting drunk and a bear falling on you??
sigh
ok if you cant take a lil pain with your pleasure then I guess I'll give the socks to the Nanny or Maid you are going to hire with ur first welfare check
js

just_tammy said...

Ice cream??? It's a party in December. Last day of school party in May/June I can see, but... That's one interesting teacher.

Amanda said...

I have figured it out! You're auditioning for that new NBC show about Grease! And honey you don't suck cuz your a bitch..we all love you because you're a bitch! Merry Christmas girl!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

cracker,
so just get me all separte things..one thing with diamonds, one thing with gold, one pair of socks..ok?...come on dude, I birthed your boy..come on..

Tammy,
well.the way I look at it..i would rather bring ice cream then have to bake shit loads of stuff..

ice cream and chocloate syrup..yee haw..

Amanda,
you think I am Sandy matirel?..aww...your a peach sweety..

I could so win though!

Meow said...

Hmmmm, you've got me intrigued ... what are you gonna be up to !?!?!
Hope you're feeling better.
Take care, Meow

The Blog Whore said...

Well, have a happy holiday

...or something like that.

:)

Laura Elizabeth said...

Merry Christmas Bossy!