Friday, December 08, 2006

Armageddon it

Ok, here are our fugly cookies. But they taste damn good...Its not what's on the outside that counts, its what's on the INSIDE....

When I sent my babies out to the bus Thursday it was -6 outside..That's all wrong. This is the temp at noon...

See that jerkoff's, it says NEGATIVE 3. That is without the bloody cold ass wind. That woulda brought the temp to a balmy -22...Man ,Minnesota is what I think hell is like. Hell is not hot, hell is buck ass cold.

And don't make a comment that my house was only 55 degrees...I keep it next to the window in the kitchen so it reads my inside temp as a bit colder then it is...But I did have my long underwear on today.

So my Butch had decided to take up wreslting with his baby sister. Blondie session was first..Man she can kick ass. She pinned those boys fast. And she is quick and she pays such good attention to the coaches. I was totally amazed at what she could do. She could keep up to those snot ass boys so good.

Then it was Butch's turn. This is where things went all wrong. Now don't get me wrong, I love my son. I really do. But he is a wussie. His first time down on the mat and he starts to cry. Not even 10 minutes into his practice and he was down for the count. If this were the Karate Kid..DANIELSON woulda been dead on his feet.

On the way out to the car he told me that he never wants to step foot inside that place again and that going in there was nothing more then a death sentence.

And he continued to sob the whole 3 blocks home, because holy shit, he got pinned by a kid. I told him..Holy shit, its wrestling, not ballet. He wants to join ballet. I am not even certain if he could handle a non contact sport.

My poor son. HE may need to transfer schools after this episode.

But Blondie, that girl can hold her own..

We are sitting here in the living room and Mr shaky asks when was the last time I fed the rabbit. I looked at him very puzzled..I was not sure when I fed her last...Coulda been days, weeks even..

I cant be in charge of feeding every damn living thing in this house.

I am just not that responsable. Period.

Well everyone have a great weekend. I am going Christmas shopping Friday night. I hate shopping. For two reasons. I hate spending money unless I am buying myself something, and B, I hate spending money on shit my kids will break, or lose within weeks of receiving it.

Kids are retards. What I don't get is we parents buy our kids nice crap for Christmas, and we give all the damn credit to a fat white guy. I mean, one year my daughter said to me " why don't u and daddy buy us cool stuff like Santa does?"

I wanted to murder Santa at the very moment. Never in my life had I thought of homicide, but that moment seemed right to me.

I know some people don't go the Santa route, which is fine by me. I mean at least their kids know who spent the dough on the crap they are gonna lose and break. I love Santa, and I love the concept of Santa. And truthfully kids only believe in Santa for a short amount of time. Then after that you get the blame for all the shitty gifts. It all pans out in the end.

But when your kids think Santa is reason for the season, that's when u have problems. My kids, wonder how the hell they got Santa from the birth of Christ. It makes no sense to them. But yet, the two that believe in Santa don't question anything on Christmas morning.

God Bless us everyone.

Bee Real


Kendra Lynn said...

Oh man. I was crackin' up at this post! When I am depressed, I always visit your site so that I can laugh. Thanks. :)

Can I get that sugar cookie recipe? I have a Christmas party for the youth group and young adults at my house sunday night.


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

yes I will email it to u in the morning...ok?

Kelly said...

Damn woman! 55 degrees...what are you having hot flashes already?

When you're done baking at your house, you can come and do mine. Just not in the Christmas baking spirit yet.

Get out the Clorox disinfectant wipes and lysol spray...tis the season! Hope you don't catch Butch's bug!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well it really isnt that cold in the hous, my thermoter is kept by the window..and its cold next to the really it was more like 65:)

um, lysol wipes are awesome...I use them, yet, we get the pukes still..i want a damn refund.

Brandy said...

Now them some cool cookies you and the kids made up!

Poor Butch! Maybe he will get into broadcasting the sports instead of actually doing sports. You never know. It could happen.

Yay!! Blondie!!!

Who says there is no Santa??? LOL

It was Freakin' cold here too!

Brandy said...

Now them some cool cookies you and the kids made up!

Poor Butch! Maybe he will get into broadcasting the sports instead of actually doing sports. You never know. It could happen.

Yay!! Blondie!!!

Who says there is no Santa??? LOL

It was Freakin' cold here too!

Brandy said...

Now them some cool cookies you and the kids made up!

Poor Butch! Maybe he will get into broadcasting the sports instead of actually doing sports. You never know. It could happen.

Yay!! Blondie!!!

Who says there is no Santa??? LOL

It was Freakin' cold here too!

Brandy said...

Now them some cool cookies you and the kids made up!

Poor Butch! Maybe he will get into broadcasting the sports instead of actually doing sports. You never know. It could happen.

Yay!! Blondie!!!

Who says there is no Santa??? LOL

It was Freakin' cold here too!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

dang woman...did u have to say it four times?..hehe


Brandy said...

Shit... I swear it would not post it when I was trying to! And I come back to see if it would let me know and I posted it 4 damn times!

Blogger hates me tonite! LOL

Brandy said...

Stupid blogger! I would act like it wouldnt go through and I would post again! It did this to me on another blog I tried to leave comments on! Sorry ... LOL

Daddy j said...

wtf ails my boy over there?
ok heres whatcha gotta do
he might be scarred, maybe we can reverse it
ok ok ok
i got it
he is allowed to watch zero tv unless its a cowboy movie
we prefer something with shitty music and clint eastwood in it
rewind the parts where he whips folks ass
lets see
all day sat and sunday he is to watch football
no damn wigglers
no sugar in the tank, playin for the other team, purple assed fat dino either
lets see
he is allowed to break several old toys, no not allowed this is madatory
he is not allowed to wear tights ever under any circumstances ever, did i say ever?
yeah ever
we haveta go out and buy him a punching bag for christmas
and fake guns alot of them
and and and a bow and arrow, fake of course
and shit and let see a machete yeah thats it
and a pocket knife
ok we maybe can save him
hurry bossy hurry

lets see ifn we can get this child turned around!

Peggy said...

Bossy, you have to use your brain against santa! You wrap the awesome gifts and give them to the kids from you. Then you give the kids the crappy stuff from santa. You come out the hero everytime... believe I know LOL

Neurotic1 said...

Let Butch join ballet if he wants- it is suppose to help with balance and coordination for football. Maybe he has future goals. I hate shopping period. Glad I got it all out of the way. Have fun tonight. I would love it if my house could remain cool. I go to bed and Mr. Conservative jacks the heat up to 72. I can't stand it! I swear I am gonna put the thermostat in a lock box!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well he took karate last year, but doesnt want to do it again..he likes to watch "the fresh Prince" on nick at night, he likes to watch yu-gi-o and he lieks to watch the weather channel, and the histroy channel..

he likes to draw comic books, draw a pretend dragon land, draw pics of mid evil times...lets see...what else, he likes to roller blade, and skate board..

he lieks to play the game of Life and likes to play checkers..

he likes the spiderman movies as well..

he plays star wars, he ahs two light sabors, and tells kids on the playground he is going to destroy them..

i think there is no help for him anymorre, its too late..he is to far gone cracker..u just have to love him for what he is..

a nerd.

well the only proebelm with that is, I often just get him small stupid gifts, like the underwear, socks and chap sticks are from me...of course butch knows there is no santa, and the girls could care less as they open them...and i dont want them to expect that kkinda crap on a dialy if they think i had nothing to do with it, maybe they wont beg me for stuff;)

well, I dont see football in his futrue i am afraid...unless its powderpuff football of course.

My house is always at 68...moslty becuase it costs too damn much to heat this big damn house..but i would like to keep it at 75 if i could:)

just_tammy said...

That's some funny stuff! We've said it before and we'll say it again 'we can't make this shit up!' I need to give you a call so we can compare shit. Your's will top mine since Boo had the green kind! I know it always does, but I have to keep trying.

I put two and two together and now I know the answer for the one thing. No, I didn't get five! I got three! That and the berries tells you how done I am. I think that happened due to all the fresh berries I had on my cereal - blueberries, blackberries, and yes, raspberries. I freaked for a minute since I thought you had changed your e-mail leaving me out of the loop. Yes, I have issues.

I'll send you caramels if you send me sugar cookies. Non-germy ones please!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Just Tammy,
well your a day late and a dollar short, there are only two cookies left, but by all means, send me the carmels anyway:)

I am gonna make peanut butter balls today i think..

i just may make up a tin full of shit and send it to u can see what a shitty baker i am..

just_tammy said...

Sweetie, I am always a day late and a dollar short and you so know it!

You are definitely getting a few goodies cause I like you. I feel like I need to do something since you always make me laugh especially when I need it.

Well, time to go make some goodies. I actually get a workout if I alternate arms while stirring the goo! Balances out the eating!

Jodes said...

they look pretty good to me, but I am starving......hey girl - I am now a member of the Gobulous Hotties blog - just thought I would let you know.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

if ur sending me stuff make sure its caaloire free ok?..hehe

u are?..good for u..I will have to come check u out over there..I am bad about posting over there..I am surpised suzie has not taken a hit out on me yet..

hungry J said...

well ok
as long as he is a manly nerd!!!

Hey this just aint right now
why don't you all wonderful smart, desirable, sexy, sweet, beautiful, awesome great women folks send a poor lowly hungry cracker some of them there christmas (or holiday if your a democrat) goodies????

Peg said...

girl you crack me up....I told you Blondie would whoop some ass...poor Butch...yes mom, let him transfer schools.

This year is Kelly's mom's year. So we told her that Santa has to visit her there...which means that when she opens the kick ass shit I got her for christmas, she will know it comes from her rockstar mom, not her womb donor or some fat jolly guy....

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I dont think ur bride would enjoy goodies being sent to your home from all the ladies...come on now...she would kick ur crakcer ass out, cookies and all;)

haha..well u got it all figured out huh?

oh and get this people..the school just called me and Butch has went to the office complaing of a tummy ache. He told the office lady he got knocked out last night in wrisetling for 20 minutes and woke up at the hostpial..


his ass is staying at school today..damn little shit face..why would he say that?

Cliff Morrow said...

Ya know, my youngest son is a gentle soul. He was bigger and faster than most on the football field but I could see he was out there to make his big brother happy. I suggested to him that it made no difference to me if he didn't go out his sophomore year. He didn't. It made his brother mad but I told him if you don't like to hit or get hit, then you need to stay away because you'll get hurt. He played varsity basketball for 3 years and had a great time.
He was a joy to watch then and still is. Gentle is good as soon as the parents get used to it.

js said...

oh my gullible Bossy, I'd never give out the home addy, i would give up the ole PO box (the ole 1 key po box)
and I aint sharin my damn cookies either!!!!!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well my son sounds a lot like that..he only joined cuz his siter did, and i think he felt left this poor boy has no athlic abilty at all, but he can draw a mean comic book though:)

well i didnt figure u would give it out...that cuts down my chances of showing up unexpcetly:)

but the cookies are good

Mrs. Diamond said...

i have missed you... you make me laugh. the sugar cookies look great. lol...

so when is the last time the poor rabbit ate? rofl

hungry j said...

see how y'all do me
here i am wittlin away to nuttin and there y'all are eatin eatin eatin
i guess i'll just waste away

you mean you wont fit in the po box?

Steven Novak said...

Did you call me a jerkoff?

I barely know you. ;)

Hey, it was 80 here yesterday...

Not that I'm rubbing it in your face or anything. ;)


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

mrs d,
holy crap, I have missed u i dont think I have been by your blog in a apploigies..I am on my way over now..

i dont know how often u check you PO box, and I would not want to run the risk of u gettin to them late and then getting food poising then dieing..i aint riskin it cracer:)

Steven Novak,
yes, I call everyone a jerk off, dont take it persnoally..

and if u rub it in one more time I may pay u a vist and kick u in the nads:)

js said...

ill continue to fast, slowly

Gette said...

I was gonna skip the whole Santa thing, but the rest of the family got to it before I could stop 'em.