Thursday, December 14, 2006

Hotel California

I made some chocolate schewty balls today. I like my balls schewty, as well as chocolatey..So just take note of that people. My Boo helped me make said schewty balls, as her hands were in the mix making a ball, she would say.." Momma its gooey"

I told her under normal circumstances balls are not good when they are gooey.

~
I asked Mr Shaky what he was getting me for Hanukkah. remember I hate Christmas now, and I am a Jew, He told me not only was he not getting me anything for my new Jewish holiday, but if I kept it up I would not be getting a Christmas gift either.

Ya see, I let this man be in charge of buying the Christmas cards. This was my fault, I know this. If I was not so lazy as to drive to the card store myself, I would not be here bitching about it now...But anyway, he bought these cards I have to put together. They pull out..So I have to fill out the cards, then insert it into the slot. Then insert a few family pics..Then the envelope is to small and I have to cut down my pictures...Then Blondie licks the envelopes and asks me if its ok if your tongue bleeds...I asked her why..

she got a paper cut on her tongue from licking and has now retired from doing so.

So if u get a card from me, your lucky, cuz holy shit....That's a lotta work for a welfare going chic like myself.

I am all about being lazy. I like being lazy, yet I don't like being around people who are lazy..yup, makes no sense..

~
I though I would show u some pics of crap I painted. This is some of my Jew stuff. I buy it from a bisk store, I come home, when my kids go to bed, I paint. Well I use to. No time anymore..I can paint something in under a half hour..Its really very amazing...

















Then there is this thing, I cant remember what it was, it broke..But here is what is left.


















Oh and here is my ugly tree....



















normally my tree is nice. This year it sucks ass. The kids broke some of the ornaments, the cat keeps taking the bows off, and the other cat keeps taking the tree skirt off and laying in it. This is part of the reason I am a Jew now.

Here is my banister going to my room..























It looks much better when the lights are off....As does everything....Everyone is good looking in the dark..Remember that.

~

I think I am gonna vomit. I ate to many balls today. Take note yet again...Too many balls turns the biggest ball lover into a non ball lover.

Really, if I see another ball again, I am gonna kill someone.
~

My son keeps telling the girls to be quite because they are going to make me mad. I told him I am already mad..So then he told them to be quiet or I was going to get angry..Told him , too late for that too.

he asked me if I am ever not angry..I told him.." Not that I can recall"

He nodded in agreement.

~
I need to go find a Manorra..And where do I find a draddle? And how do u use one?

I am still waiting for my gifts....I don't know when the Holiday starts, but u can start sending them anytime now..

I wont be back for a few days..I got things that I got to do, places to go, people to see..People to hire and people to fire...Asses to kick and faces to lick.

Why everytime do I sit down here to type anything does my son ask me if I am famous?..I am just going to start telling him I am...Holy shit, he is a retard he will never know the difference..

Bee Real


43 comments:

Neurotic1 said...

Don't know if you wanna be Jewish the whole kosher thingy is kinda hard! But I'm all for gifts for more than one day! I love those peanut butter balls. My mom use to make them. I hope she made some this year! At least you got x-mas cards out- I am even too lazy to do that! Oh and the painting thing is good. You are a woman of many talents.

aatank said...

My cards went out in the mail Tuesday. I couldn't send you one because I don't have your address. Hint Hint. I was going to be creative and make my cards, but I ran out of time.

My brother just came home and was telling a story about a guy who beat the crap out of his girlfriend. Hmmm wonder if its the same people or is this town just filled with sick people. Do you know her name? I heard she passed away today, but not positive if it's the same person. I can't believe who the person was who did that, my cousin is dating his sister. I hope he gets put away for many, many years.

I can't make myself bake this year. Maybe it has something to do with my house being trashed and I can't find my kitchen. So save yourself the weight gain and send them to me. Ha Ha like I need it either, but man it sounds so good.

Ok is that a long enough comment for ya. See ya

Peggy said...

Using child labor,, shame shame and making poor little boo bee get a paper cut on her tongue... there goes your santa baby present. LOL

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Neortic,
I only plan on being Jewish durring chistmas...so its all good..

Aatank,
I cant think of the girls first name..I would know it if I heard it..I know her moms name is Ann. I bet it is the same person, course in our town u never know..I think mr shaky is calling his mom right now to find out..I will let you know if its the same on in a minute..

Peggy,
so is child labor a bad thing?..hehe

just_tammy said...

You know my stand on child labor. I put it to good use and both kids are still in one piece and not sitting in jail. For that matter, neither am I so all is right in the world. At this moment my son is suffering through a junior high play his sister wanted to see. At least when I sat through it last year, my daughter was in it. The power of Santa or the fact his mom is dying from allergies at the moment.

So you're Jewish now. Does that mean you don't want your Christmas goodies any more? Anyone else interested since I can't look any of it in the face any more? Oh, my darling daughter volunteered me for cookies for a school thing. I think I'm going to hurl.

Does your talent never end???? Mine is all used up. All gone. Bye-bye.

Man, I think I need a cookie! Just not one I made...

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Tammy,
I am not against the treats, just stupid ass cards and trees and buying shit..hehe

AATANK..

she did die...the guy who killed her NICK KELLY...her last name was wolf I think...

so sad, I hope that fucker never sees the light of day again..to bad he isnt in my jail..

Blazer1234 said...

OMG Blogger is SO PISSING ME OFF with this comment crapola!

Anyway, since this is my second comment, and I forgot what I wrote in my first comment, and will probably have to write three more comments before I can actually post it, you are getting a shortened version.

The chocolaty schwety balls sound yummy. Even though making them doesn't sound like fun.

I like your snowmen. I wish I had a bisk store around me so I could paint cute snowmen. But I would paint mine grey, as that is the color of the snow around here after a few hours of it sitting on the ground.

Have fun doing whatever it is you will be doing the next few days.

Blazer1234 said...

OMG Blogger is SO PISSING ME OFF with this comment crapola!

Anyway, since this is my second comment, and I forgot what I wrote in my first comment, and will probably have to write three more comments before I can actually post it, you are getting a shortened version.

The chocolaty schwety balls sound yummy. Even though making them doesn't sound like fun.

I like your snowmen. I wish I had a bisk store around me so I could paint cute snowmen. But I would paint mine grey, as that is the color of the snow around here after a few hours of it sitting on the ground.

Have fun doing whatever it is you will be doing the next few days.

Blazer1234 said...

OMG Blogger is SO PISSING ME OFF with this comment crapola!

Anyway, since this is my second comment, and I forgot what I wrote in my first comment, and will probably have to write three more comments before I can actually post it, you are getting a shortened version.

The chocolaty schwety balls sound yummy. Even though making them doesn't sound like fun.

I like your snowmen. I wish I had a bisk store around me so I could paint cute snowmen. But I would paint mine grey, as that is the color of the snow around here after a few hours of it sitting on the ground.

Have fun doing whatever it is you will be doing the next few days.

Blazer1234 said...

OMG Blogger is SO PISSING ME OFF with this comment crapola!

Anyway, since this is my second comment, and I forgot what I wrote in my first comment, and will probably have to write three more comments before I can actually post it, you are getting a shortened version.

The chocolaty schwety balls sound yummy. Even though making them doesn't sound like fun.

I like your snowmen. I wish I had a bisk store around me so I could paint cute snowmen. But I would paint mine grey, as that is the color of the snow around here after a few hours of it sitting on the ground.

Have fun doing whatever it is you will be doing the next few days.

Oh, and Hannukah starts Friday. Good luck finding a menorah this late in the game. Although I hear Seattle's airport will be sporting an 8-foot one, so you could borrow that one.

Kelly said...

Bossy: Holy Shit! That is the same dude that was beating the crap out of my neighbor when Punkin' and I moved to the homeland when I was going through my divorce!!!! We moved because of it...the cops were there like every night! I wonder if it was the same girl as then??

Glad you got my card, I had BETTer get one back, and not the bloodied tongue one either ;)

Karin said...

Actually reform jews don't neccesarily keep Kosher, we don't. As for the Menorah and the dreidel you can pick them up at Bed Bath and Beyond. However I will warn you cHanukah gifts are kind of lame. Chocolate coins and stuff. I had more to tell you but I forgot, I am totally stupid, forgive me.

Kendra Lynn said...

I sent out my cards VERY early this year....right after Thanksgiving. Now I keep thinking of people and wondering if I remembered to send them a card! Did I? Did I NOT? Oh boy.

Kendra

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Blazer,
gosh, looks like u were having real troubles..haha..

I painted my snowmen blue cause i was pissed off at the time:)

Kelly,
it might be the same dude..he woulda been like a teenager then though i think...I am not sure how old he is now..but she was 22, and they were tother when i lived in the homeland..and she lived with her mom, which was right next to my house..

oh its a bloody tongued one..they all are;)

Karin,
ok, I dont wanna be a Jew then..I dont like lame gifts...thanks for the heads up:)

Kendra,
I always forget someone...its just the way I am;)

Kendra Lynn said...

Oh..by the way...those are cute little ceramic thingys you painted. Good job! WAYyy better than I would do!

Kendra

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Kendra,
thank you...its really easy though, I am a compltete moran and i can do it.

ALICIA,
her name was Holly...

Amanda said...

Very cute ceramics, I'd have ended up only painting half and saying screw it! Oh, and if there is ever more than 2 balls involved..walk away!

Brandy said...

I love your ceramics! You did a beautiful job on them.

You are late... haha I got my cards out a week ago Monday! Yes I like everyone to get mine first... :)

About beta... Some people hate it and some love it. I think the most part why people are complaining about it is cause not everyone is switched over yet and it is screwing up with the comments and letting people get on other peoples blogs. With it you can really get creative with your template and do different layouts without really messing with html codes. You can however keep your orginial template. Another thing is you can limit who you want to see your blog and what not. Which is really nice if you want just a private family blog and so forth. Actually I am having better luck uploading pictures and things with beta than I ever did with just blogger. Eventually they are all going to have to switch over... sorry for that bad news! Actually you wont really even notice you switched over except for needing a google account. ummm let me see did I forget anything???

Nerdine said...

F*** I knew I forgot something!! I haven't made (or bought) any Christmas cards! jeez...
d'you think there are Buddhist Christmas cards? wouldn't think so, no... hum so what to do???

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Amanda,
yes more then two balls and your in BIG trouble!

Brandy,
I am just thinking of switchingblogs all toghter, or maybe stopping all toghter..not sure yet.

Nerdine,
I bet eBay would have some..they have everythying!

haha
:)

Laura Elizabeth said...

All Judaica . com

Do we get an invitation to your Bat Mitzvah?

Laura Elizabeth said...

All Judaica . com

Do we get an invitation to your Bat Mitzvah?

Laura Elizabeth said...

All Judaica . com

Do we get an invitation to your Bat Mitzvah?

Laura Elizabeth said...

www.alljudaica.com

Do we get an invitation to your Bat Mitzvah?

Mrs. Diamond said...

you always make me laugh... i just love that about you. i'm so not into christmas this year it's not even funny. i just decided i'm not even sending any christmas cards. i give myself permission to do this just one year out of my life.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Laura,
as long as I dont have to get circumsized:)

Mrs D,
well, I think its ok for you to skip one year..but thats it..hehe

Laura Elizabeth said...

Blogger is teh suck today!

Sorry about the multiple comments.

Michele_3 said...

I'm back girlfriend!
Funny post! you crack me up..
I have a lot of catching up to do w/ you..
(being why- your not celebrating christmas & etc..)

just_tammy said...

Please quit threatening to stop blogging. I won't be able to go on without my dose of Bossy. You make easier to handle the ups and downs of the week. Am I laying it on thick enough or do you need more?!

The Kept Woman said...

Love the tree...and the explanation of why it looks like it does. Classic!

Balls...hee hee...that word cracks my shit right up.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Laura,
dont worry bout the comment thing..your not the first person to do that this week..trust me..blogger is a bad, bad boy..

Michele,
well glad to see u back..

Tammy,
lay it ont hicker..I have the damn stomach flu..I think this may be my last day here on earth..

TKW,
balls is a funny word..kinda like fart and poop.

Jodes said...

schewty - this word is disturbing to me.........what does it mean? Is that your kitchen in the background of the stair shot? I love the green walls.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Jodes,
that word is disturbding to just about any human:)

yes, thats my kitchen there..I just painted it that green last year..u like?...I painted my tiles to match too:)

Anonymous said...

Hi, I sent you the link to the newspaper on Holli. I sent the address you wanted too but Aunt Mary said all my yahoo email isn't comming through. If you didn't get them let me know and I will use my other email if you don't block the address. I got that pooping doll on Amazon for 49.99 last night.
Aunt Frankie

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

aunt frankie,
I got the addresses, but i did not get the link...if u send it again, i am going to post it here, so every one can read it..

yahoo is fickle and I am thinking of switching emails..but i do have a hotmail account..i dont know it, but i will figure it out and send it to you..

Cliff Morrow said...

Were these balls kosher?? Keep your hands off of the non-kosher balls.
I like the figurines. You are so talented that it's almost hard to grasp.
There was a priest, a minister and his Jewish wife who went into a bar...(there must be a joke there)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Cliff,
is peanut butter kosherr?..I am new to all this..I dont know if I broke any rules or not..

whenu finish your jokemlet me know..I bet its good one..I would write it for ya, but that takes all the fun out of it for you:)

Kelly said...

Hey Bossy! I heard from some people back home today and that was my old neighbor that was killed...and was still the same guy that was messing with her then. That was three years ago! So sad that she was never able to leave him!

The Blog Whore said...

Oh man... I went on a painting binge years ago. I was IN THE ZONE!

I painted 3 thousand ornaments and crap.

Loved doing it.

It was FUN!

These days? Nah.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Kelly,
could be...I am positing an article about it for tommorw...its sucha shame.

Blog whore,
I use to be in the zone too..I have not picked up a paint brush in 3 years...

Jerry said...

Schewty balls? Is that anything like sweaty balls? I've had those before.

just_tammy said...

Sorry to hear the flu caught up to you. I'm not sure how since you are always on the move. On the plus side, you have lost any holiday pounds already.

Hope to see the article. Are they going to be doing anything for the little girl? Was she home when this happened? I sooo hope not. This just makes me ill.

You and Cliff need to finish the joke. It will be a great one. I hadn't even put it together about you switching religions with hubby studying to be a minister.

Feel better.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Jerry,
its the same just add chocolate.

Tammy,
I dont know if the baby was home..last I ever heard her mother was rasing ehr anyway..which woulda been for the ebst..

but the story did not happen as I had ehard it...my MIL musta got some stuff wrong, cuz the paper says it happen in nov, and it just now killed her...