Thursday, August 31, 2006

Someone is gonna die and it aint me

This is gonna be one hellofa post..If you are faint of heart or don't care much to read curse words, get the hell outta here..mmkayy?

first off I worked 0800-1600 yesterday for u jerk off s who don't know military time that's 8am till 4pm. Anyhoo, I go put in my 8 hours of hard labor, booked in a gent who I just released Friday..What a dumb ass..Not even out a damn week and he is back. I must be that good looking..They keep coming back for more.

Then I come home and have about 3 hours worth of cleaning. Nothing like coming home and cleaning toys off my living room floor just so I can walk thru the room I pay $1,000 a month to the bank so I can hang my coat here, and I cant walk thru when I get home.

Then after I got dinner ready I had to take Blondie Bee to her school for her open house and so she can meet her teacher..Now take a good look at this face again people.




















I took this gal here to meet her teacher for the first time. The teacher says "Hi Blondie, im Mrs.loveulongtime nice to meet you sweety"

What does my daughter/spawn of satan do? She gives her this evil look and says nothing.

I tell the teacher...oh she is just shy

Then her best little friend from kindergarten is in her class...She came running up..Blondie ignored her. The little boy who sits next to her was sitting in his chair and his mom says " this is so and so..He is gonna sit by you this year"

Blondie

nothing...

I always thought she was just shy. But I am seeing early detections of a hidden bitch inside of her. I mean she comes by it honestly, she truly does, but I was at least 5th grade before I started coping a attitude with my damn teacher...damn


Then we are suppose to sign up for one of the class parties they have. I always choose Christmas. I was the first one to sign up for that holiday. Then after I read the sheet it says if you sign it first your the chair person for that holiday. Holy sh*t.

Hope the tots don't mind rum spiked eggnog and burned sugar cookies...Ho Ho freaking Ho..That's my specialty.

Moving on....

I get home and my mom informs me that my son....the one who said he lost all his coolness when he got a bad haircut yesterday.....had a sign out on the corner and sat there...Do you know what his sign read?..Of course you don't, I will tell you..

will play yo-gi-o for free
will teach u to play for $5

what the hell?

....

Then on my way home from the school I get behind a golf cart. Golf carts in this town is kind of flies on a dung ball...They are all over.

Since when is this proper vehicle transportation for the streets? They don't go more than 5 miles an hour and have no tail lights...

what the hell?

and yet I get pulled over for going a touch over said posted speed limit. And then have to pay a 130 ticket for a fundraising effort cause the next town over cant balance their damn budget, so they target moms in their mini vans cruising at an altitude of57 miles per hour in a 55 zone...

I need a xantex, followed by a chaser of something that contains rubbing alcohol and gasoline.


Good day

Bee Real

49 comments:

Karin said...

hell has frozen over if I am first around here.

Karin said...

ok now that we have that out of the way we can get on to the real comment. So Blondie has a hidden bitch, well she is all girl afterall. Hopefully she will snap out of it soon. It seems Butch has found something to hide his pain, at least it isn't with ugly kid. I hope you get sime rest soon and find your coatrack.

eyes_only4him said...

karin,
i was feeling a bit chilly:)

and man, if i only had enough time to go into more detail..you would get your tubes tied ASAP:)

Anonymous said...

well daqng sounds like you hada bad day!
Well I have a lil shithead giurl child too. She is a mes and meaner than hell. And I'm thinkin that your lil guy is on a \to a good thing. Maybe he can bring some funds into the fam, beats him tearing stuff up or something.
hope your day gets better
ole j

KrazyMom said...

No offense, but that is honestly the first laugh I have had ALL day! "Ho, ho, freakin' Ho"...you crack me up!! So is Butch Bee gonna share his new income with you?

eyes_only4him said...

Ole J,

well I had it out with my lil girl..know where she is now? laying on her hard wood floor with her pillow and covered up with her buetterfly shaped throw rug..who the hell does that?

I told my son if he needs money that bad he should maybe DO his chores so he can EARN an allownace:)

Kelly,
thats what I am here for, to spread laugheter to the masses:)

well the only wealth this boy is gonna see is if he earns it by cleaning my floor after he wizzes on it and doing the dishes:)

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you had some kind of a day! If we were to air this blog on tv, it would be one beeeep after another - love it! People all over the world would have to change pants - love it!

You know Blondie comes by her inner bitch naturally. She is your child after all. Boo will probably start with her pre-school teacher so watch out! Worry about Butch when he starts going on Dora as well.

Wish I didn't know military time but glad I know you!

eyes_only4him said...

just tammy,
bleep bleep freaking bleep..

i knew u would know milatry time;)

so far my boo is a people pleaser and she likes people..butch, he does respect authority..may ride a gilrs bike but he will usaully mind his elders, as long as it isnt me..

blondie..oh gosh, she is more like me then i though..

i am in for a world of hurt woman, u better move close so you can bake me cookies and talk me out of the window:)

Kendra Lynn said...

whooowee.
Sounds like a GREAT day.
Yeah...I'm thinkin' you need a bubble bath and some downtime.
I've already had my bubble bath, and after spanking the girls three or four times to get them to settle down and sleep, I'm going to bed myself.
HOpe your day is better tomorrow.

Kendra

Anonymous said...

So what kind of cookies are you in need of? Have to head to the post office anyway might as well send some off.

Glad to hear Boo will be nice to her teacher. Good thing if ole teach has to change her panties for her!

eyes_only4him said...

kendra,
gosh, thats what my kids need is a good spanking...but if i started i might not stop:)

tammy,
any kind as long as it has no nuts:)

Fantastagirl said...

Well if it makes you feel any better, Pan just looked at his teacher - like she had hairy warts or something on her face. I don't know what his problem was...all summer long it was - I hope I get... and he gets her for a teacher and then .... he says nothing...UGH!

Peggy said...

I do so enjoy your life! LOL at least I can laugh while you have all the stress.

eyes_only4him said...

fantstagirl,
what is up with these kids?..blondie didint care who she had, just wants to go to school?..what the heck?..spankings all round i say:)

peggy,
this is why i love you...you love my misery!

MommaMonkey said...

OMG, your boy's sign had me lauging out loud and rolling on the floor! At least he is creative, and knows where his talents lie, right?
And as far Blondie...Oh Lordy, you may be in trouble when the teen years come along! I don't have a girl, but I'm afraid to try to get pg again because I know I will have a girl, and girls are mean little things when they are teens...I know I was a super-mega-bitch back in the day, and I know it's going to come back to haunt me. Hopefully you'll make it through. I'm pulling for ya!
Love your blog!

eyes_only4him said...

blaze1234,
well i know how teenage girls get too..and oh hell i am in trouble. i cant tell you how many times i had detetion in high school for being mouthy, wa suspened twice for being rude to a teacher..oh and fighting..

plus, all the dang boy trouble i got into..

and i have 2 girls..so sad:)

thanks for dropping by, please come back, crazy is always open and its free too:)

Unknown said...

attitude or not, your daughter has the most beautiful eyes. EVER.

asdfasdfasdf said...

:( I know it was a rough day, but it was entertaining to read about. Was hubby still at work when you got home?

eyes_only4him said...

mrs d,
aww..thank you...her and eye do share that quality..but her good looks, that is from the mail man i guess..

boo has her dads dark eyes, and butch had blue eyes, now they are gray, its odd...

eyes_only4him said...

lady n,
yes he does not get home till 1730, which is 5;30..hehe

i work 3 blocks from home, he works one hour 15 from home..so alas i was the only one to clean it up...but he did tell me to go to bed early and he was gonna take care of the rest of it..

i will see in the morngin what he did..hehe

Anonymous said...

awww
man school is HARD!
Cut her some slack.

We are having our own school issues too. Caroline wanted to kill someone over a lip gloss necklace today.

I totally get the three hour cleaning thing.

I cleaned my ass off today and my husband couldnt understand what I meant by "I did all that cleaning and for what?"

Meow (aka Connie) said...

Hmmmm, sounds like someone's having a bad day. Never mind, tomorrow could be worse !!!
Just kidding, Bossy ... sorry about your sh*tful day. I agree with an earlier comment though, even with an attitude, your daughter has the most amazing eyes.
I sincerely hope tomorrow is a better day for you ... smile !!
Take care, Meow

Deb said...

Will cough medicine due? Wow girl, you need a trip to New York and a martini straight up!!!

Those bad ass soccer moms and their mini vans doing mock 90 heading for Target. I knew they were evil. mua ha ha ha !!!

;)

Deb said...

Would you look at this fricken time stamp??????????????? What the hell am I doing up?

AND YOUUUUU NEED THE XANAX???? Hmmph!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Xantex for heartburn or a XANAX for everything else!

Your daughter is a beautiful girl.

This post has me cracking up and it's 4:09 a.m.

I think we should start a SCREAMYOURFUCKINGHEADOFF day, where all women, everywhere go outside, and scream our fucking heads of at the exact designated time... daily. Now, wouldn't that be fun!

MaNiC MoMMy™ said...

Oh, and Deb, I got you beat on the time!

LOL.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, you really sound impressed! Hope it gets better!

Anonymous said...

that's one heck of a day, but I'm pretty impressed with your son's "go get em" attitude!! 3 housrs of cleaning, wow, and you're ambitious!! and you keep idiots off the street and you contributed to a fundraiser and volunteered to be the chair person. well, very impressive!!

eyes_only4him said...

mary,
sure school is hard, but she dont even start till tuesday..hehe

meow,
yup...today will be better..oh really i highly doubt it..but thanks for the vote of confidence..i love you:)

deb,
yes i do need to come there for a girls night out...we can go to hooters, enter a wet shirt contest,get smashed...and u can eat all the hot wings you want...

now get your ass to bed.

manic mom,
yes, we need to start a day like that..but i think we will need more than one though..maybe 4 days per week..how does that sound?

xanex cures all:)

hails,
thank you, cant get much worse..

beth,
well when you say it like that, maybe it wasnt such a bad day after all:)

my son wont do a lick of work for an allownce, thats what kills me:)

eyes_only4him said...

i am off to work..be back at 1600..again thats 4pm for you jerk offs who dont know millatry time..

central standard time..thank you veyr much

mikster said...

So how much money did the kid rake in with his sign?

Michele_3 said...

LOL! Sorry your son's sign had me rolling..
That is priceless! I feel for you when he becomes a teen, I think his creative mind is really going to get going then..
Poor Blondie- I don't think she is ready to go back to school, My son has that attitude sometimes & I think it is because they just don't want to be there..what grade is she in? Even with a mean look, she is still so cute!
Take care, hope it gets easier for you today!
:)

Claire said...

Banner day, huh hon? Your son's sign was inspired - the kids I teach would never have come up with that, he's so enterprising!

Anonymous Fat Blogger said...

Just wait til Blondie gets in high school! Fun times up ahead...LOL

At least Butch is trying to make some money. Maybe he's saving up so he can go to a nicer place for his next haircut?

Anonymous said...

Bossy,
What is a xantex? Have they made a new product combining the best features of Kotex and Xanax? If not, you should head to the patent office. What a great idea!

eyes_only4him said...

mike,
i took downt he operation before any profits were amde:)

michele,
sad thig is she has been looking forward to school starting for the last month..she will be in first grade..

claire,
that bo comes up with some doozies i tell ya.

denise,
saving up for ahis next hair cut?..you may be on to somethign there girl.

jerry,
by now you should know that at least one spelling error should be expected when reading here..

and yes it is a brillant idea..

d,
well she syas she wants to go..for some reason she just has the attidite of a rabid frog..

Lady Apple said...

wow! what a day! your daughter is beautiful though!
so what is "yo-gi-o"? i think it is great that your little boy is such an entrepeneur!!! such an original idea!! most kids pull out the lemonade...

Unknown said...

Love that workin' all day just to come home and work...

Anonymous said...

what the heck is a xantex?

eyes_only4him said...

jessica,
thank you...yu gi o is a stupid card game..kind of like pokemon or something..to tell you the truth, i have no bloody idea.

gette,
seems that all i do..i dont mind working if i am getti paid though..gosh i need a maid and a babysitter..

suize,
its for heart burn of the mind..

Margarite Elaine said...

Haha! So funny! The Yo-ge-o sign is priceless! I love that he's trying to bee a lil' business man. Oh and your daughter reminds me of my niece. I always have to check her horrible bossy/bitchy attitude. Great story! Thanks for sharing!

Unknown said...

lol great post

eyes_only4him said...

margarite,
yes he is quite the buisneman..

its pretty sad that little girls are so bitchy and bossy at such a young age..holy cow huh?..thanks for stopping by..

dakotablueyes,
thank you...and please come again.

Anonymous said...

I have a neice that looks adamnlot like baby bee!
shes very pretty, shining blue eyes and pouty mouth!
js

eyes_only4him said...

uncle j,
she is middle bee, not baby bee..

and holy cow, her poor parents:)

Anonymous said...

hehe
mail; me so I can reply and Ill send a pic of my neice if ud like
shes a damn pretty thing
U have 3 female girl women children????????????????????????????
ouie

eyes_only4him said...

pretty j,
i dont know your email..find mine on my page and u mail me..

i only have 2 girls...blondie who is 6 and Boo who is 3..then my son who is 9..

man keep up will you already:)

Anonymous said...

sorry sugar
i might have been drinking
im drunk so I dont remember!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haaaaaaaaaaaaaa
anyway
ill look for ur addy
u mailed me b4 and no I dident spect u to save it
my neice looks a bunch like half grown bee
j

Anonymous said...

damn my bad
it was a busy wasp that mailed me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
js