Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Empty Garden

Things have been super busy. Crap is happening I cant control, and I am tired out. I am going on my 7th day in a row working. I will get two off ,then on again for two more at least. If I can just get thru my shift at the jail tonight I will be ok, I hope.

I only wanted ONE part time job, to get out of the house and to have beer money. I will be damned if I haven't worked over 40 hours the last week. I don't have time for anything.

Dinner? Nope, Bossy has been fasting since my last day off which was hell if I remember. I cook for the inmates here at my hive, but I don't eat. I don't like eating before work. It has to do with potentailly getting the runs while out of my house. Sometimes after I eat my intestines want to get rid of stuff fast, so I have to run to the crapper and let it all squirt out. I prefer doing it at home. Call me retarded.

The way I feel you would think I am in my late 80's working a full time job and 4 part time ones. I am so tired . I am tempted to take a nap in an empty cell at work...And even be willing to be locked in.

I had to book an inmate last night who was a very annoying. I forget what he was charged with now, but he kept repeating the same crap over and over. I finally told him if I hear him ask that question one more time I was putting him in lock down..He asked again..

Damn, he was free to go, I couldn't lock him down..But I wanted to slap the crap out of him. I can not stand being asked the same thing more than say...50 times. The first 49 times I can handle it...After that, Bossy cracks.

I am watching Dr 90210. It is 12:50 am....I need to save up money for a boob job. I see them doing a boob job on here. I need one.

I want some lipo too. I have stated this before. If you want to donate for my makeover, let me know. Just a nip here and a tuck there, nothing to fancy. After three kids and a hellofa lot of nachos, and burgers, I need some lipo on the thighs. And hips. And butt. Lets not forget the back fat. You know the fat that sometimes hangs over your bra strap? Ok, maybe I am the only one who has that. I hang my head in shame. I need a bra that fits. I don't have one that fits right.

I want a butt lift. I have noticed on several occasions that my bum is kind of drooping below the point a bum should droop too. So I want a total lower body lift.

A nose job too. I always thought my nose was too big.

some permanent eyeliner....Ok never mind, I have never worn eyeliner in my life, why start now?

And I want some of that laser crap so I don't have to shave the pits or the legs ..Or the.......

delicate bikini area

I am swamped with so much nonsense and crap I am not sure if I will post again until at least Thursday.

I am getting all ready for my flight back home next week. I will be gone Thursday thru Sunday. I know, I know, you will miss me. Not to worry, before I leave I will again leave a list of crap I own that I am willing out to you in the event my plane is taken over by angry nuns, snakes ..Or heaven forbid ...Gorillas.

Or if the pilot is snockered and flies us into Lake Michigan..

Well I have some crap I need to deal with, then I am going to bed. Its 1am, and I am tired. I hope to God I don't dream about Lionel Richie tonight. Or that damn lizard in the Gico commercials. I had a dream one night I had him over for fish and chips and my cat ate him.

I wont even go into detail about my Lionel Richie dream. I will just say we were not dancing on the ceiling, or........running with the night..

Ok, now I am for sure gonna dream about him now...damnit..


bee real


Princess said...

Wow Bossy, things sound pretty crazy at your end! Maybe when you get time you should have a nice hot bath with a glass of wine to relax.
AND im sure you are prefect, just the way you are. No need for any surgery!


Peggy said...

Girl, you need to slow down before you blow up! ( hope you are on the toilet if you do!) try to get some rest and tell all your crazy friends to stay outta your dreams for a couple of nights you need the rest. When you make the list, I get the kids! I need them to milk the goat and gather the eggs (just kidding) go get some sleep!

Claire said...

Man, sounds like things are crazy with you! And I hear you on the backfat point - where does it come from? What is it's purpose? I just. don't. understand. But now I really want some nachos...


Working Mom said...

I don't know how you do it! I would be a complete wreck. Do you plan on leaving one job or keeping them both for awhile?

Don't even get me started on all the surgery I need! And I can't have the hair removal because my hair's blonde and it doesn't work on blonde hair....oh the humanity!!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

gosh, if i didint get home at mindight that bath sounds pretty damn good..tommorw night i can..i am not working the...at least i hope not;)

I am hoping I do blow up.........is that a bad thing?..can I get dissbailty for that?..haha

yea where does the back fat come from....

well i havent had nachos in years...i ate them buy the trucxkloads when i was pregant..and now i am paying for it..hehe

I am going to have to quit one..i cant work allthese damn days in row..i am too old..or lazy..

maybe we can save up our money toghter and get a two for one deal on the lipo:)

Working Mom said...

I'm in! We should be able to do it with a 2-fer special!! Hopefully we won't have to meet the doc in an alley to get it done though :)

Oh and one of my friends just had her "back fat" removed (and a tummy tuck and a boob job-bitch!) and she looks amazing....did I already call her a bitch? :)

Mrs. Diamond said...

I know your life is crazy but do you have to make it sound so FUNNY. You make me crack up every time I read here.

Hope you get a break and rest without dreams soon! ;)

beth said...

well, i'm with you on the pooping thing. that happens to me too.
and the nacho thing and the 3 kids and droopy boob thing, hmm, and I live in MN, too! maybe it's the climate??!!

Anonymous said...

hell, i would even meet him in a dark ally...

and she is a bitch and i dont even know her;)

mrs d,
well at least my sorrows amuses someone:)..i get two days off after tonihgt, and i plan on enjoying it..hopfully..

you live in ths crappy state?..may I ask where?..i dont want to stalk you.justr curroius..because hell, if u have 3 kids, eat nochaos like they were going out of style, and have droopy boobs..i think we must be soul mates;)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

opps that was me...my bad

~Deb said...

How are you?
How are you?
How are you?
How are you?
How are you?
How are you?
How are you?
How are you?
How are you?
How are-----umm------I'm hoping you'll be slapping me around and trying to restrain me just like you did to that inmate by asking the same question over and over again.
So...how are you?
How are you?
How are you?
How are you?

No need for a boob job. I've seen you in your "slutty" shirt. I believe it said, "Hooters" on it. I think you made me some really good wings though. That's the whole point of Hooters, isn't it?

I miss my sexy beekeeper's arse!

So...how are ya?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

how U doin?

if i had enough energy I would and give it to ya real good..but alas i dont..so u lucked out;)

and i didnt want that kind of boob job, i want a reduction and a lil lift:)

Karin said...

Well one thing is for sure if you have all those surgeries you will be in pain. I have seen pictures of you though and I don't think you need anything done, you are beautiful the way you are. I will allow the boob thing though because no one should be stuck with melons larger than they want. You will make it through I believe in you!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

have u ever thought about becoming a motivational speaker?

the way I look at it, i birthed 3 kids with no pain meds..i can handle a little pain;)

and yes, having melons ya dont want are a pain..

i say we go get boob jobs and a little lift, come on, ya know ya wanna:)

Kendra Lynn said...

I need lipo, too...maybe we can get some rich dude to feel sorry for us and donate the moolah.
Hope your day today is better than yesterday, and that you find time to relax!!!


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well your job is to get looking for a sugar daddy who will give us makeovvers and expect nothing in return...now get on it woman!

Choppzs said...

Hey Bossy, I have an idea. You can take some of the fat off my ass and my hips and use it for your lips. You would have some hellacious lips afterwards,but I on the other hand would be slightly trimmer afterwards!! lol I would gladly donate any and all the fat I have. Then I will go in with you to do the boob thing. But I am waiting till I am done with children seeing as they are the ones that make them droop to begin with!!

Oh and leave me something good when you go!! Last time you didn't leave me anything, and this time I would prefer it if you left me a little something. Doesn't have to be big, just maybe your jewelry or house, or something of that nature. lol Don't forget me!! lol

deni said...

Anything you have left over you can give to me. Since I am lacking in certain areas. Actually, if I could lift some of my butt into my boobs, I'd be a happy woman.

Gravity is a cruel, cruel thing. Well, actually when it comes to my boobs, gravity isn't the problem, but then you have to HAVE them for it to be problem.

I would like to hear my man say, 'Wow, your boobs got bigger!' instead of, 'Your ass got bigger.' Gee, thanks for the ego boost, bud. And anyway, what about the extra 30 lbs he's gained? Hmmph. His butt sure don't look as good as it once did, not to mention all that extra flesh hanging over his belt.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

how the hell did u know i need plumper lips..i was gonna add that but forgot..but i dont want them too big, i still wanna be able to whislte;)

i will leave you something good..i will leave u my house in michigan, then u can be closer to your sister...and hofully the payment will be made on time:-)

and u have free will to kick the renters out i have there...its all yours baby.

i did not have a probelm with the boobs either, till i had kids...went from a A cup to like a double D...try it, it works wonders;)

Raggedy said...

Wow! Safe travels..
And say maybe we could all go in together and get some kind of group dicsount or something..Most of the stuff on your list I need done too!
Hang in there and slow down a bit...
Sheeesh you are a busy bee...
Have a wonderful day!
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one

~Deb said...

A reduction? How on earth will you pull off the "slutty t-shirt" bit? No lifts... keep them puppies real baby!

~Deb said...

Why am I all of the sudden in the mood for hot wings??????

d said...

Oh Bossy - I think we've all been there. I wanted a couple of things dome too - but ick - I saw a tummy tuck on t.v - scared me straight. My cousin had her thighs lypo-ed and she was bruised for weeks and has little scars all over from were they sucked it all out. Oh and breast reduction - THE WORST! - my cousins friend had it done and she flashed me - I lost me eyesight for 3 days but I remember - they tore her tits up. Why is it they can put then in no problem, but to take a bit out? - it's like edward scissor hands was performing the surgery.

d said...

Oh - and stop running yourself rageed!

d said...

um, ragged.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

yes a group rate would be divine..i will see what i can do:)

well i dont think i cna pull off a slutty shirt even if i tried..go down to hooters and some some hot wings on me..tell them Bossy sent ya;)

shut up..i cant hear you...

la,la,la,la...what did u say something about edward scissor hands?...i love johnny depp..thats ok...

you just have to go and burst my bubble dont you?...shame on you..

but i love u anyway...

~Deb said...

Will I get a discount on wings? Or a date with a hot hooter gal?

Claire said...

Lionel has been stuck in my head on and off all day. I blame you! If I dream about 'dancing on the ceiling' with him, or anything else for that matter, there will be ramifications...;-).

Anonymous said...


oh gosh....I am scared now..

"hello, is it me your looking for?"


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

opps, that was me...WTF?....I dont know why I have to keep re-entering my name...pissing thing..

Britmum said...

Hey Bossy its Jo Jo here....!!!

I am all of a dither right now. Nervous bloody wreck. I fear I have gone insane. Can I come and join your Hive? I need to get out of the Circus ASAP.

I need a head to toe body tuck. Do they do one of those?

Your a mate alright.

Take care xx

Bumbling Bav said...

Oh great thanks now... my dreams are going to be of Lionel.... could you not have given us a hottie!

deni said...


I had to laugh at your answer to my problem. I have three kids, and my boobs got smaller afterwards. ROTF, just my luck, huh?

Heart Of Darkness said...


Sorry you had a bad week, but surgery is NOT the answer! Besides, nothing to improve on perfection! :)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

get here right away,you can join my circus..dont get your cotton socks in a ind, i am here for ya:)

we can go get nipped and tucked toghter, how does that sound?

trust me, he is NOT on my hottie list, he just popped ina dream the other night, i am not even going to try and anylze that one:)

damn, i guess I dont have the answers for everything..haha..my got bigger your got smaller, too bad we cant make a trade of some kind.

heart of darkness,
well so far i am ok...have not stepped foot in one yet..but there is always tommorw;)

Jerry said...

Think about this Lionel Richie gem before you go to sleep:

Ballerina Girl

Hee hee. Have fun in the big mitten!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

OMG when i was a kid i had a LR tape and I would play that damn song over and over...how lame is that? it was the 80's what can I say..

not going to the mit till next week, but i am sure it will be a good time:)

TrickySaber said...

The job thing sounds rough. I'm glad I gave that up and married a Canadian. Now I get to sit and work my home business whenever I want.

Plastic surgery? Me too please. I would like lipo everywhere, laser hair removal and some tattoo eyeliner would be nice too.

Bee real girly and don't work too hard.

Lady Noelle said...

That last comment (trickysaber) was from me. I was accidently signed in with my other blog.

novaks8 said...


Hope things get better for you.


Claire said...

You're off the hook...I didn't dream about Lionel but I did dream about a pottery class. I think my brain was trying to recreate the video for 'Hello' but my soul prevented any further horror.


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

lady n,
ok I wondered who that was..haha..so you saying i shoulda married a candaian then?..damn I missed the boat on that one.

thanks...should start looking up..i do have 2 days off now:)

oh you are way too funny gilr..

Jennifer said...

Wow. Your schedule is wild! How do you keep up? I need some pointers. Sounds like some funky dreams too. I've been watching Dr 90210 as well... i want it all done to me! :) Good luck!! Get some sleep.

Anonymous said...

oh hell..i hate every minute of it..but the paychecks are nice..haha

so i will book you a session on the tble too...i say we all go..

i tried coming to visit you..but your blog isnt on your profile..bad girl:)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

damn..again..what the ehll...i need to log back into blogger i guess..

that was me..

Cliff Morrow said...

1. Who pushed your 'Scan' button?
2. About the body shop work...why mess with perfection??
3. On your last will and testiment, I don't want any cats.
4. Or kids.
5. ie the poops... lactose intolerent??

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

WAIT..u dont want my cat?..ok but i will take my dog again right?..she will only be good in Marylins hands cliff..she needs constant grooming, dont you let me down now..

ok, i wont make u take the kids..

jess said...

Yes, you definitely need to relax.

And they have laser crap that makes you not have to shave / wax anymore? Sign me up.

pack of 2 said...

Hey sista!


Gette said...

Life can be frustrating, but oddly enough, it helps to remember we don't have control of ANYTHING.
When you finally get a minute, stop by the blog. I so tagged you.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

doenst laser removeal sound delightful?

hey girl..

oh gosh, not a tag..ok I will come check it out..I so need to update my blogroll....damn i need a kick in the pants

Felecia said...

Man - isn't the point of a part-time job to be exactly that...PART time?

I think you should try some sort of work-from-home deal.

Claire said...

Nooo! Doooom! Lionel is still your default song and I'm about to go to bed - this may end badly, I fear....

Jewl said...

Let's see... I DID have a boob job and I don't work outside of the house... I am still crazy but you can be me for a day if you like.
Get some rest... have some tylenol pm and lock your bedroom door...

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

then i have to be home all day with kids..yikes!!

oh boy, i better go change my song...dont wanna be respobale for a lionel dream:)

i dont want that kinda boob job, i want a redcution..did u have a reduction or enhancement?..hehe...

i would love to be anyone but me for one day..