Monday, August 14, 2006

Rock u like a hurricane

edit at bottom

If you read my post for Saturday and are wondering where it went, well I went to edit it and I accidentally erased it. Good thing, its stuff I really should be talking about anyway, not yet anyway. I will just one day be gone, poof...And I will be rich. What can ya do? Just watch the writing credits of your favorite sitcoms or late night shows, look for my name..Bossy..Its getting closer my the millisecond, I can feel it. Or else I just peed myself, and in that case, I am blushing with embarrassment.

anyhoo, since I wont have much time between now and when I live Thursday I am doing my will now. In case of the unfortunate act of my demise while I am abroad, well in Michigan anyway...I want to leave a list of items to you. Now if I miss your name this time, I will catch you next time. Trust me, there will be plenty of chances for me dyeing between now and when I do die...But thanks for being so damn anxious for me to drop dead. Makes a girl feel warm and fuzzy.

Ok on to business.

For Suzie
I am leaving you my collection or un-used polish and samples from Mary Kay and Avon. Now if they are all dried out and not working, just pass them along to someone else. I will also leave you my orange sandals. You seem like the kind of gal who would maybe get some use out of them...

For Karin
I am leaving you some recipes. You are a chef. I am sure you don't have any recipes. I am leaving you my apron. It has never been worn. I don't want you getting dirty while your baking or cooking stuff. I will leave you Boo Bees crib. I mean you are planning on having kids aren't you?..Good Lord woman I hope so..

For Cliff
well you seem to shoot down any idea I have. So after I die you can just come to my house and pick out a knick knack or something..Knock yourself out..

For Jaime dawn
I am leaving you my collection of hats. I know how you fancy a good southern belle hat. And maybe some grass skirts? Ok maybe not...Also my bench. I got Mr shaky a bench one year for fathers day. I don't think he sits in it anymore, so its yours..And set it on your porch and when I come to haunt you, I will sit and sip tea with you..

For Britmum..(my jojo)
ok I leave you my 3 remaining cases of DP...I have about 5 cases of the berry kind, I hate it so its all yours. I will also leave you my dining room table since you say you fancy it. Although I am not sure what shaky and the bees a will eat off of now, maybe i should buy some tv trays huh? Just make sure no scorpions crawl across it, or that you dont sit on the bog with your knickers dangling at your ankles. My table has never seen the likes of either thing, and I would prefer to keep it that way.

For Peggy
Peggy has requested my sunglasses. Well she actually requested the bees and after much thought I have told her weekend stays will be ok, as long as she puts them to work on her farm scooping poop and fetching eggs. Boo bee is scared of chickens, so don't send her into the coop if you don't want you eggs stepped on from a toddler trying to make dodge outta there. She also is scared of horses and other big mammals. Better make her in charge of ringing the supper bell.

For The blog whore
I will leave you my jewelry. I don't have much as I am not that fancy. But take what you want and melt it down into something cool. Crap all my jewelry is plastic, I better think of something better...

How bout I leave you my rabbit. Your kids like pets. I just hope it doesn't end up like your turtles, your guinea pig or your fish...Crap, I might wanna rethink that one too. Let me get back to you on this. I want to leave you something special.

For ~Deb
Lets see. I leave you all my slutty shirts and a good recipe for hot wings. I will also leave you a coupon book for Hooters..Tell em Bossy sent you and you will get a free round of wings and beer.And you will be entered automatically in the wet tee shirt contest. Go prepared.

For Kendra
lets see, I will leave you a collection of music. I know you probably don't fancy my kind of music, but hey if I am dead maybe you can listen to it and think of me...

Ok, I am out of ideas right now. I know I missed a lot of you. My mind is overflowing worrying that I don't have enough stuff to go round. I am a hoarder. One of you can have my old yearbooks, cards from old boy friends, my prom dresses. I even have hundreds of letters from high school and some from middle school. I saved a bunch of that crap and have a whole chest filled with that stuff. Not sure why any of you would want that. So let me think a bit.

**
My Boo Bee was playing with her little fuzzy Teddy bear. She was saying things such as " hi bear, I your mommy, wanna play?"

and " momma dis is my bear, see? dis my bear.."

Then she threw it to the ground and stomped on it. I asked what she was doing.

This is what she said to me

" I kill it momma, my bear dead now"

Good Lord.

I have a child who wants to be a grafitity artist and likes watching the Hanes commercials with the ladies in there underwear and bras bouncing on big excersie balls.

I have a child who will play with dolls and then beat the crap out of a boy...Then pick me a flower, then beat the crap out of a boy...Then ride her bike down the street with her blonde hair blowing in the wind..To chase a boy to beat the crap out of him.

And I have one child who is the cutest most loving nearly 3 year old, who loves Dora and The Wiggels, she loves dancing and signing. Yet she is standing before me killing her bear and asking me if I have a band aide cuz now the bear is dead and she needs to stop the bleeding.

I am sitting on a gold mine here folks. I crap you not.

bee real


So here is more to my list, it seems you guys have no trouble letting me know I forgot you..

Ok

for Denise

You can have my Ipod and some pics from my Def Leppard show...you can have the Joe with the mullet, and I will take the todays version...mmkay?..is that a deal..

For Michele

Lets see....I forgot what you wanted...so I will leave you some leppard pics as well, and

my running shoes....with 3 boys your are gonna want to go out and run sometimes..

For choppzs,

Yes you get my house in Michigan, I forgot I willed that to you..My bad. Do what you will with it, just make sure you get the bitch out of my name..mmaky?

For Bav,

My little sweet candian Bav..I am going to leave you an old x-ray machine, so you can get off poop duti and see where that metal ball has gone..

For Jewl

all my old tapes of Days of Our Lives....I mean they go back to the early 80's....How is that?

For Aatank

Ok I am going to leave you a glossy signed, when I die it will be worth more..just like Elvis...and I will leave you a detailed letter of everything your dyeing to know that I cant say...mmkay?..only cuz we go way back..

Ok I have nothing left..noone wants my dog or my cat...any takers...no..no..no..thats what I thought.

oh a side note..my Blondie Bee is becoming awful chummy with Ugly Kid..I may have to put a hit out on the little bastard..

Bee Real

79 comments:

Peggy said...

don't wear the sunglasses when you leave or I will never get them LOL and I got flight insurance on you just incase... Need money for the weekend the bees are with me so we can party!

Barb said...

My daughter would love your site, for the visuals alone. She's a third grade teacher and her class theme is "busy bees." All her little kids are her bees.

And please please tell me your name isn't Sassy because I swear I will die laughing if it is.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Peggy,
gee wiz...u might need to look thre the plane rubble for the glasses, I need to take them..my eyes are allergic to the sun:)

I hope you have a big policy, the bees love to party!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Barb,
haha..well send your daughter on over..

um no, my name is not sassy..but God I wish it was:)

Mike said...

Well, I see I was left out of the will....again.

*sigh*

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Mike,
i wasnt sure if I had anything you would want anyway:)

I will get ya next time;)

Britmum said...

Ummm Bossy its Jo Jo here... the bog thing was kind of private ya know. I mean your talking about my knickers here to complete strangers (well except for Cliff and Karin) Now they will all know my secret.

I may have to pay you back for that one. Be careful what you receive in the mail... it could contain a sting. Are you getting my drift??? LOL You don't want anything nobbeling you do ya?

O.k. I don't like stinking Berry flavour either. I think I need your diarys....!!!

Come on I need to make a pound or two when your gone. You said your sitting on a gold mine.

O.k. Bee Real Bossy. xxx

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

jojo,
who doesnt like to hear about other peoples knickers?..come on now..

um, i have no dairies...this is it baby..just copy this crap to your hard and its all yours:)

and u can keep your creatures and stingers there..or i may send u a pelican...or a bat..

Badoozie said...

once again, i am completely honored and speechless. well maybe not speechless.

those orange shoes rock. the best i could do is black, and those orange ones, well, they're just orange, and they rock.

so if you die, should i just swing by, and will you have them boxed up with my name on them, or do i have to ask those pesky attorneys?

Claire said...

Hehe, I love the tales of the bees....

Heart Of Darkness said...

Sitcom credits - my name will be there soon too! Maybe not the same sitcom, but what the heck, even if, I'm not afraid to share my spot in the limelight! ;D

Collaboraion? Or should I treat you as a hostile competitor? *grrrr* :D

Cliff Morrow said...

I would consider taking in the kid who likes the Hanes commercials. It would appear we might have something in common.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

suzie,
well chances are tose shoes will be on my feet when the plane goes down...just come to the crash site and look thru the rubble, i will have your name on the botot of them:)

claire,
why thank you;)

HOD,
well I am assuming your not writing for amreican tv..so i will treat you as an equal:)..you need to write me and tell me what your workiing on..i am intruiged now:)

cliff,
consider it done..

Kendra Lynn said...

Thanks for mentioning me! I feel honored that you would leave me your beloved music collection.
Thank you, but I hope I don't have to come collect it.
Be safe. :)

Love,
Kendra

Anonymous said...

Knedra,
well I cant gauruntee you would ever listen to it...might even wanna burn it..hehe

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

damnit...i dont know why, but i must not be logged into blogger..i need to kick someones rear end..who keeps messing with my cookies..

Heart Of Darkness said...

Yep, I write for the US TV. Like Hamlet worded it so nicely "There's something rotten in the state of Denmark", only this time, the rotten thing in in Sweden, and it's called "showbusiness". I will not, I repeat: NOT be associated with Swe TV.

Intrigued? I will main you. As in e- not black- ... ;)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

HOD,
wow, i didnt know swed tv was that bad..hehe..

ok you must sill it and tell me what your doing..i am nosey that way.

Michele_3 said...

Ok, so I see how it is- Uh huh!
I got left out of othe will again-
what does it take to get put in there woman! LOL!
J/k..
I would rather hear you came back safe!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

michele,
damn...ok, i will have to make an edit in this..i was going to add you..i just forgot who i did last time..damn my bad..

u r getting something..what do you want..haha

Jewl said...

Damn, where is the love? LOL

Have a safe trip!!

Michele_3 said...

Nothing, just playing with you!
Just make sure you don't take liquids on the plane(if your flying that is)& come back soon before I get "Bossy's blog withdrawls"..LOL!
Take care!

Michele_3 said...

oh...thought of something!
maybe the pixs from the Def Leopard/Journey concert you could leave to me? LOL! (i'm bad, I know :)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

jewl,
damn I forgot you too..ok my next trip you and michlee are FIRST on the list..

michle,
yes i am flying, and i wont bring my bottle of scotch on board..

ok you can have some pics..hell you can have some jnow..give me your email adress..hehe

Working Mom said...

What the hell?! You don't leave me anything?! And we're almost related...you know, from our imaginary marriages to the guys in Def Leppard and all! :)

Bumbling Bav said...

Oh I feel so at home here... being left out of the will.... the children killing things.... YES BOSSY YOUR BLOG IS HOME FOR ME!

Manic Mom said...

Hey! I am the one who is 'married' to Will Ferrel! Hahah, how'd ya find me again! I'll have to catch up with your blog! : )

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

denise,
tonight i am gonna edit it, and put you and michle in..what do u want?

i hope your not marrying JOe..you cna have the one armed dude:)

bav,
i will add you tongiht as well...i have a specail gift for you:)

and if this is home..get your ass here and help clean

manic mom,
well i found you again thru a link on a friends blog...

glad we found eachohter again:)

Working Mom said...

I'm married to Joe and you married the one armed guy....get it right woman!

What do I want? Hmmmmm.....damn, that's just too much thinking on my part.....I need your energy to exercise! So maybe you should just haunt me and make me workout :) Oh, and I could live with your ipod also :)

Working Mom said...

Just make sure there's plenty of Prince songs on it for me!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

denise,
oh hell no woman...now 15 years ago i would of married the bass player rick..he was who i wanted, but for some reason now he looks like he had some work done on his face..i dont like it..so i want joe now..sorry lady..

guess we will have to arm wrestle for him

my ipod can be yours..i have lots of prince, lots of def leppard..u should be happy..

check back tonight and i will have the will updated:)

Michele_3 said...

Okay break it up you two crazy women!
fighting over bandmembers(except the drummer) & stuff..LOL!

By the way Bossy- I'll take the pictures & a few Prince songs too!
Since Denise is getting your ipod & all...
I'm getting greedy now! (It's like were in a soap opera huh?)See what you started! j/k
LOL!

Choppzs said...

Ok, how could u possibly forget me after the comment you made about me getting your house in Michigan?? I am so depressed, I think I just may....well, probably go eat some chocolate or something, but I think I would have done that anyways!!! I shall never forgive you Bossy!! ;)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

michele,
i know, like any of them would sleep with us ole moms anyway..haha

i am gonna l;eave u whatever you want..

chopzz,
oh i forgot about that...come back tonight and i will have it updated:)

Working Mom said...

Ok, ok...I get Joe, you get Rick and Michele gets the drummer!!! Settled.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

denise,
NO its NOT settled..i am writing up a decree...and that will be the final say..:)

Working Mom said...

Party pooper!

Karin said...

Yes I am planning to have kids so I will love to get Boo's crib. I am so honored that not only did you remeber me this time but I was second on your whole list. I am a little choked up about it. Have a great trip and try to keep sane while your children mass murder the stuffed world.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

denise,
well just for that you get nuttin..hehe

karin,
i told you i would remeber you this time:)..anything u want is yours:-)

Meow said...

Oooooh, don't go, please don't go ... you forgot me, don't ya luv me no more !?!? *sniffle*
Just kidding !!
Bet you're looking forward to the time off work, and those "interesting" people you look after.
Get packing, girl ... time's a-wasting !!
Take care, Meow

Working Mom said...

You gotta give me the ipod...c'mon, don't you feel sorry for me? I have a fake ipod for pete's sake!!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Meow,
i know..i leave you my cat...:)

denise,
what the hell is a fake ipod?..ok i gave you my Ipod..are u bloody happy?

Anonymous said...

"grafitity artist" at first Bossy, I thought this was a type-o...that the boy wants to be a graffiti artist...then I went on to read how he's mesmerized by underware and bra commericials and realized that he probably does want to do his graffiti on some titties! ROFLMAO!

aatank said...

Thanks! I'll truely treasure it forever. I hope I'm still alive to reap the benefits!!

novaks8 said...

so.freaking.hurt.



*sob*

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

annymous,
oh Lord, we all know here I miss spell workd to the extent that the spell check can not even dignify what it may be....he is not gonna be near "those" till he is 40...

aatank,
I hope you reap them as well..and make sure u take it to our class renioun and tell them you knew me when..haha

novak,
damnit...what do u want?..i wanna give u something:)

pack of 2 said...

We'll take the pets!

Shangie

novaks8 said...

Things I am always looking for here....

toilet paper
fingernail clippers
extra set of keys
AA batteries
an empty laundry basket

got any of these?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

shangie,
thank gawd..i know they will be in good hands ladies, thank you..

mary,
i have all of the above..only i dont think my extra set of keys will fit your flat door:)

Anonymous said...

I love you.

Autumn said...

whoops...

I love you,

Love,

Autumn
(anonymous)

"But your thoughts will soon be wanderin' they way they always do, when you're riding 16 hours and there's nothing much to do, and you don't feel much like ridin', you just wish the trip was through ooh hooooo."

Anonymous said...

Bossy, I love the type-os! It makes your funny posts even better and who the hell needs spell check! I say you deliberately coined a new word....Grafitity Artist - one who randomly paints the boobs of the world! LOL

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

annymous/autumm
I love you too:)

annymous,
I am glad someone likes my mis spelled words..thank you

Working Mom said...

A fake ipod is asking your hubby for a pink ipod and getting a Creative mp3 player instead. Men.

Joe in the mullet era...ok, I take him. You can have him in the old man stage!

I'll take your kitty :)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

denise,
ohh..ok..i understand what u mean then..

ok, I am glad we got that joe fight steeeld..i was worried iw as gonna have to come kick your ass for him..haha

Claire said...

Nuthin? Nuthin?

*sniff*

keesh said...

Again, i get left out of the blog will. but that is ok, I know where I rank in blog world and apprantly it takes a while to get ranked to the top of Bossy's list...so, whatever... :)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

calire,
i will get you next time..i promise my love:)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

kish,
damnitalltohell..

i did not mean to exclude you either..seems bossy has a severe case of the forgets..

i will leave u whatver you want:)

~Deb said...

You're the best! See? No one else would have thought of these wonderful things for me.

(On a bit of a hiatus lately--sorry I haven't been around much...)

*MUAH* BIG KISSES for you !!!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Deb
see this is why I love you:)...I could never forget to leave you something in the event of my death!

Choppzs said...

Oh Bossy, You Love me, You REALLY love me!!! I will make sure to get that house out of your name as soon as possible.

BossyĆ¢™¥'s YOU said...

choppzs,
THANK YOU:)

keesh said...

Ok, whatever I want? Wow....um let's see, now I feel greedy or like I guilted you into it. I want you to not have to leave a will and live a good long life :)...But I really want the ipod...no, stop kish, don't be greedy....but the ipod...oh so wonderful...sweet music, Prince and Def Leopard, maybe more motivation to walk or move or something to loose the flabby tabby i have on my body...oh geesh. Bossy you are out of trouble now, I forgive you :).

jsull said...

:(

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

kish,
gosh the ipod goes to someone else this time..but next time i leave you are in the top spot for it..:)

js,
ok, what the hell would i have that you would want..haha

The Blog Whore said...

Plastic jewels and a rabbit I (might) get to kill?

Heck, you gave me more than my own family!

Suh-WEET!

:)

Just for the record, the guinea pig is still alive, it was the hamster. And the fish. Plus some turtles.

BUT...

I was only responsible for a couple of their untimely demises.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

blog whore,
i knew you would be delighted:)

and my mistake, it was the hamster..i am sorry:)

Princess said...

I will have your dog! :D

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

princess,
her name is ellen she weihgs about 8 pounds and she is all yours sweety:)

Bumbling Bav said...

YOu are all heart baby! Only you would think of me and the shitty dealings of my life!!! LOL.

I feel so special!!

JD's Rose said...

I'm going back to my corner...

ole easy to please j said...

hmmmmmmm
what r my options????!!!!
jsull28fl

Jamie Dawn said...

Thank You so much for including me in your will.
I will cherish the things forever if the worst comes true and you die while on this trip.
Please don't die though since I want for YOU to be able to sit in that bench on the porch of YOUR southern mansion and sip some sweet iced tea.
I promise to wear those hats proudly in remembrance of you. :)
Have a nice trip and return to us safely, ya hear??

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

i aim to please guys...

and if u were not mentioed and i do die...hell..just buy a star and name it for me..mmaky?

see ya all Monday...or whenever..

:)

Angie said...

thanks for leaving me nada...geesh, we go way back and all ;)

hey if you're in the homeland, how long are you going to be there? I'll be there in Sept.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

ANGIE,
I WILL LEAVE YOU SOMETHING NEXT TIME AROUND:)

I AM BVACK FROM THE HOMELAND NOW..ONLY THERE ON A ONG WEEKEND..YOU HAVE FUN WHEN U GO THOUGH..LET ME SAY..IT IS THE SAME CRAP HOLE:)

Krystal said...

Nothing for me?

You suck!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

now u dont mean that:)