Monday, August 21, 2006

Baby im a star

So for those of you who were on my last will and testimate, sucks to be you cuz ole Bossy made it back. For those of you who are on tap for next time I leave....I wish you the best of luck .

My trip was nice. Although I had some lipgloss confiscated. Things you can not bring on a plane..Jelly donuts or cream filled ones..no I did not have the donuts but some folks did, gel bras, water or any liquid, no bombs or guns.....Sorry folks, hate to wreck your fun.

Why is it everytime I am on a plane the one person with a flatulance disorder sits by me? I had all sorts of unnatural fumes blown my way. I tried like hell to hold my breathe, but I can only live so long with no air.

At one point on the way down, the air pressure got really wired. My eyes hurt, they felt like they were going to bust out of my skull. I had a weird tingling in one, and the other felt like a ticking time bomb. Thanks to the pressure build up, I fear I have a case of glaucoma now....thanks bastards.

Saturday night my best friend from High School and I went to the local place where you can bowl, eat, and drink heavily. We sat around there till well after midnight talking about what fools we were back in the day. We agreed that all our boyfriends/sleeping buddies were all losers. And she did not have any trouble reminding this future preachers wife what a skank she once was....ahh the good ole days..Now I am a one man skank, I am reformed.

Ladies, have you ever had to pee so bad that when you finally sit down to let it rip, you are parked there damn near 5-8 minutes waiting for it all to drain?...At one point you think your done, you wipe, you go to stand up, and I will be damned if more pee isn't waiting in the wings to be let free. It trickles down your leg and you sit back down because there is another round coming. Man I hate that.

Well I hope all of you had a productive week and a great weekend. I am going to need a day or two to recover from my journey.

I will be around tonight to check on everyone, I wont be around much Monday morning and afternoon, I have a thing called a job and they are expecting me to show up at 6am. Then to top that off, they are expecting me to stay till 6pm.

I hate it when people expect way too much out of me.

Bee Real

42 comments:

Peggy said...

okay everyone we have to stop talking about her... she's back! LOL

Jamie Dawn said...

Okay, I canr relate to the LONG pee sessions that often happen when I've drank a lot of water or iced tea. BUT, I CANNOT relate to the standing up and having pee drip down my leg and having to quick sit back down to expel the rest.
Me thinks you been drinking WAY tooo much.
And I don't mean water.

I'm glad you survived the journey. I doubt you had on a gel filled bra since you are often complaining about your hefty boobs.
How DID you survive without your lipgloss? I would be naked without mine!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

peggy,
i knew my ears were ringing.

jamie,
yes, i think i am the only one who has ever had the trickle effect, i am ashemed to say.

i only had my lipgloss i dont use taken, the other stuff was not in a tube, so she was safe:)

Cliff Morrow said...

Quick, someone take JD's lipgloss from her.
I'm thinking the second part of the pee session may have crossed the line. Too much info for this farmer.
I'm really glad you are back. The internet is a better place because you.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

cliff,
sorry to make u feel "uncomfortable" with the whole pee session, but you know me cliff, I leave no stoned unturned:)

I am glad the internet is better now, i was worried.

novaks8 said...

You should have popped down the oxygen mask and glared at your neighbor while sucking the sweet, fresh air!

Karin said...

Ok I can kind of relate too the pee thing but not the trickle. I also have where you have to go so bad that when you get on the toilet it takes a couple of minutes to actually release the flood. I didn't see anyone get checked for gell bras maybe that is new this week. Have a good day at work tomorrow!

~Qser said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bossy♥'s YOU said...

novaks8,
well if iw as not worried about possbale fedral charges, I woulda pried it open:)

karin,
so noone else has ever thought they were done peeing, then all of a sudden realized you wernt?..damn..maybe i need some medical attention..

and yes, the gel bra check is new this week..acctually i was only asked once..and i dont wear gel bras, so i was in teh clear, but then again, the good looking securty staff didnt get to grope me either, cant win em all eh?

~qser,
oh gosh, of course the casue is not from me, I am a girl for heavens sake, we dont so that.

and oh boy I wish I only worked one day a month,.someone please sign me up for that gig:)

Karin said...

No I have had the oops I have to go some more but it hasn't trickled down my leg. So you are only partially weird.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Karin,
thank God i am only partially weird:)..it would be bad if I was all the way weird..hehe

but it depends on who ya ask..

maybe i drank too much..maybe i have an inconince probelem..who knows:)

Gette said...

Welcome back.

Kegels, kegels, kegels!

Gette said...

And how dare you sign off yahoo before I have a chance to stalk you!

Kendra Lynn said...

Glad you made it back in one piece, minus the glacoma of course. I hate long pee-jobs. Man.
Its crazy embarrassing to have to sit there and pee forever!!!!

Fantastagirl said...

Glad you made it back all safe and sound!

**thanks for the warning peggy! (LOL)

Kelly said...

Damn, now I can't fly out to see you! Ya know, I have to take the gel bras with me! Sounds like you had a lot of fun. And just for the record, I never knew you were a skank in school...why the hell was I always left out of the juicy gossip in the life of Bossy???

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

gette,
yes, I do them...have for years..maybe i over do it..uh-oh..oh gosh and i wanted u to stalk me too..i am always a day late and a dollar short, story of my life.

kendra,
long pee jobs are the worst, specailly when ya think its done..hehe


fantstagirl,
u didnt even know i was gone did you?

and my ears were rining, i knew u guys were doggin on me the whole time:)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

kelly,
oh u have got to be kidding me...man, do i need to give u a damn list of them all..my goodness girl..

well pack your gel bra in your check in bags, go braless till u get there..mmaky?

Michele_3 said...

So glad your back safely!
I missed your funny posts...
Get rest!
:)

deni said...

We call that whole peeing thing, 'breaking the seal', I must be abnormal too, I can sit there forever peeing sporadically. LOL

It gets worse after 40. See what you have to look forward too?

Mrs. Diamond said...

well i am so glad you came back because you plum fergot to put me in your will again.

sigh.

the long peee thing..... bwahahhaha. i can't believe you just told us that.

LZ Blogger said...

Bossy it's no Monday YET!? DARN! ~ You made it back right after I spent all that LAST WILL loot on a new plasma 72" TV screen. I wonder if I can take it back for a 10" black & white! (the whiskey... not the TV!) ~ jb///

1 plus twins said...

man how many hours ahead of me are you. it is sunday the 20th at 9:25 here and your post is monday the 21st. that always screws me up. glad you got back ok!! shit i will have to strip when i go on the plane next time, all my bras have water or gel. until i get that boob job i rely on the water and gel. lol i so know exactly what you mean about the pee situation, just had that happen fri. night.

Raggedy said...

Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one

Princess said...

Welcome home Bossy!!! :D I am glad you had a nice trip.
I woulda kicked up a fuss if they took my lip gloss! Did you give em what for?

xoxo

d said...

Bossy!

Hope you had a great trip. I have one question about the will tho - I still have rights to "smashed bananas and retards" should you kick it right? ;)

Who travels with Jelly donuts? Car trip - okay. Jelly donuts on a plane - why????

No gel bras? Huh?

I don't know - this is going a bit far now isn't it?

Working Mom said...

Damn, I really want your ipod! Welcome back, guess I'll just buck up and go buy my own (just can't depend on anyone these days).

I went to the Poison/Cinderella concert Saturday. Are you jealous?

Britmum said...

Hi Bossy

Its Jo Jo here. I hate that when you have to pee so bad and you can't get your button undone quick enough. Then when you are done and you get up you have that paper total seat stuck to your crack. LOL

I am glad that you had a nice trip. I am sorry that someone popped off on you the whole flight though.

Take care xx

The Blog Whore said...

Glad you are back, I mised ya! I did kinda want to kill the bunny, maybe next time?

Holding pee? reminds me of getting an ultrasound while pregnant. They make you drink all that water, then won't let you pee. I BEGGED them to let me pee, "just a little," they said okay, I went and peed it all out. Ha! Like you can stop that sh*t!

keesh said...

Your luck on a plane sounds like my luck at a movie theatre...I get the loudest, most annoying people sitting right by me. they either talk, Chew loud, are too tall to be in front of me or some other crazy event :)

jsull said...

Well I'm glad you made it back, maybe if I'm in the next will I'll be pulling against ur return!!! hehe
lol@1 mans skank!
haaaaaaaaaaa
jsull

~Deb said...

And it sounds as though you've already experienced chemical warfare on that plane!

Glad you're back chicky! Missed you!!!

Peanutt said...

Damn work!! Expecting you to go in like that! WTF????

Glad your back safe n' sound!

Michael Manning said...

Richard Pryor used to say that women are so much better at holding it than men. I believe him. Yes, farts from fellow passengers on an airplane are awful. Especially the ones that "linger". Ewww! Sorry you had to endure that!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

man i just got home and i worked 12 hours..i am hungry and tired:)

denise,
i dont much care for posion or cinderella..you can have em both:)

and i post a day ahead becuase i am retarted like that:)

Meow said...

Yay, she's back ... missed ya, Bossy, you always make me laugh.
I can relate to the pee thing, but not the trickle ... eeeewww.
Too bad you had to put up with a stinky seat mate ... pewwww !!
Have a great week.
Take care, Meow

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

meow,
i think i may be the only trickler huh?....damn

kaliblue said...

Glad ya had fun with your friend:-). If your like me though it makes ya feel damn old. I'm going on 20 yrs being out of school *UGH*. But it is fun laughing bout all the stuff that we thought was soo cool back then:-).

Jewl said...

Just checking in myself, I am still visting with the fam. Sounds like you had a good time, nice to have you back! I still want my Days tapes though! LOL

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

kaliblue,
lets see..i have been out of school for 14 years maybe...well since 93...u do the math..haha..13 i guess. long enough i suppose.

jewl,
hope your haivng a smashing good time chicky:)

Angie said...

Bossy~ I'm with Kelly, I didn't know you were a HS skank, I will need the list too...see if any of my HS fellas were on there ;)
How was ole' Liberty Lanes? hooting good times eh?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

angie,
it was a hooting good time...well not really but what can ya do?..

man i am gonna have to compile a list for u girls..but not all of them went to our school, so i will make a list of the ones who did..my gosh ladies...especailly Kelly..Kelly should know about all them I thought..naught, naughty..