Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Turn me loose

It seems the great folks in law enforcement are attracted to us. Seems Mr Shaky was pulled over on the way to work yesterday. wanna know why? No he doesn't fit the profile of a drug seller nor a child killer....But the butt wad had ribbons hanging in his rear view mirror. At 6 am a cop had nothing better to do then pull over his car. I guess there were no high speed chases or wife beaters to be tracked down.

Then the dumb ass didn't have his recent insurance card in the car. AND the officer said his MN license was not valid because his name was spelled wrong in their system. It is spelled right on his license, just not in their system.

So how the hell is that his problem? This goes back to my whole theory of Minnesota being run by retards and butt wipes. Not only can you only get a license here one day a week and only open for one hour, but you also need to hack into the system to make sure your name is spelled right.

I don't know how this state gets by. It needs a hand to be held while crossing the road, and it needs a diapy change every few hours. If not the state would crap its pants on all of us.

Then my town has issues. There are several intersections near my home and else where in the city, with no stop signs. Its like you have free reign to ram eachother in the ass. No yield sign, no stop sign?..Ok ...

I frequent these intersections for the simple reason I am hoping to get hit..For 2 reasons...

1. So I can sue this city and state for all its got..which is not much considering the peons running the damn circus side show

B. So I can get a new van..My 2003 Dodge Caravan is 3 years old and she is ready for adoption.

I work for the state, not only that, but I also work for the county. Am I a dumb ass? Sure. Am I slightly retarded? You bet. Do I know that you need to be open more than one day a week for an hour in order for folks to get a valid drivers license? I do..DO I know that you need stop signs at every intersection..Darn tootin I do.

I have been in this state so long I started drooling. My brain cells are depleting slowly. I really should run for Governor. But that would be a 4 year commitment to living here. I just rather leave, and let the retards fend for themselves.I don't have that kind of time and I hate doing paper work.

**
Do you want to know just how much the dumbness of this state has rubbed off on me? My little Boo bee fell asleep on the couch, so I layed her sweet fat butt in her crib. Then I came out here and continued to finish watching Blues Clues.

My 9 year old Butch Bee walks in and says " ahh, mom what ya doin?"

I look at him, look at the TV..

And I have no answer.

In his eyes I was the dumbest thing he had seen all day. His 31 year old mother caught in the grips of Joe and Blue.

I tried explaining my way out of it. I tried telling him it was one I had not seen and I wanted to see how it ended.

He then says to me

" um, mother, they all end the same, they find the clues."

yes son, you are right. Thank you for sparing me from the evil that is Joe and Blue..Please don't breath a word of this to your friends or your father..GOT IT.

I can not have his friends thinking I spend the day watching baby shows . I may be old, I may sport a nose ring and 20 extra pounds, but damn it I like me a good show once ina while..So sue me.

And getting rid of the TV is something I am still pondering. I would really get more done around here if I did not watch shows with the kids. I call it bonding time.

So what if I like kids shows? So what if I have been in love with the Blue Wiggle for 3 years now. blue wiggle, its me bossy, I don't mind that you have gray hair, side burns and extra white teeth that blind my eyes..I still love you....Do u love me too?...Ok this is getting weird.

**

remember Ugly kid? The one that craps in the yard..my yard along with the rest of the neighborhood. Last week Butch said he was moving to Duluth. Why did he think he was moving you ask? They were having a yard sale.

And Ugly Kid told him so. Ugly kid lies. He has been knocking at my door wanting to play everyday. I was hoping he would be gone.

Yet he lingers on like a a yeast infection.

Bee Real

Tommorw look for my Ode to Walmart....I am done pissed right off...

31 comments:

Bumbling Bav said...

Your blog brings me tears of laughter! You rock and the rest of the bees do too!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Bav,
I have long since thought you were dead..holy crap..but thank you my lady:)

Working Mom said...

If you'd just move to Florida all your problems would be solved!

(Don't tell anyone but sometimes I come home at lunchtime and turn Blues Clues on. No one is here but me. Guess you could say I'm having a "nooner" with Joe...LOL)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

denise,
u bad girl...

and I would love to move there..i want YOU to be my neighbor,oh adn Michele..if u guys dont live by one anohter then one of you will have to move:)

Britmum said...

Oh Bossy I want you to be my neighbour. You are so very bloody silly bloody funny.

Like it I love it.

Take care and have a skinny cow. xx

I just love that.... skinny cow. Cow is a bad word in England. LOL

Karin said...

Mkay the ticket thing is retarted but I had a similar problem here cause they entered my social wrong. Dumbasses. Do we need to do a blues clues intervention? You are in trouble and even your bees know. I hope ugly kid does move away soon, as long as he doesn't move here.

Charmed1 said...

You are seriously a riot! I always get a laugh from your blog. Not always at the situation, but at the way you tell them!

PS You've been tagged!!!

Cliff Morrow said...

Hey Bossy, this world needs a manager and I nominate you. It will be your job to fix the earth. We'll all have to do what you say. How's that??

Heart Of Darkness said...

Cops get hung up on the strangest, most insignificant things. I know from personal experience... *sigh*

Kids are darn cute. They hear and see more then we'd like them to, and then they use it against us. They are mini-terrorists, I think, manipulating their way through life. I wonder when we stop being that cunning, and start beind grown-up... I miss being at the right spot at the right time all the time! :'(

Tammy said...

thanks for the dream assessment...laughed so hard!!! Hubby laughed too! I guess I could have filled it in at the time...time...did you look at the time that I wrote it????
I got pulled over when I lived in Podunk Kentucky...wanna know why??? ok...I'll tell ya...I had TEXAS plates...tha's why!!! Deputy Dipwad had nothing better to do...the another time Sherriff Dingle Butt pulled me over and started screaming at me that I was doing 80...I said Mister this car would blow up if I was doin' 80...he 'bout popped a vessel...I'm tellin' you...I bring that out in strange men...old Ohio buzzard screamed at me the other day cause I got gas and left the car at the pump...well...I was hongry...they had a BK inside...I wanted one...I just smiled at him and got in my car and drove of.....hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
it is 2:46am...I'm feelin a "little" silly!
:-D

Claire said...

Wow, finally a state that makes my area seem vaguely organised - you can get your licence during more flexible hours...but they can never tell you if it will take 2 or 7 or 19 weeks to sort.

((((local government)))))

Ugly kid took a dump in your yard? I have no words....

Princess said...

BOSSY FOR GOVERNOR!! I would vote for you. (well, if i was over there!) ;)

i use the kids as an excuse to watch kids movies like Lilo and Stich, or The Little Mermaid, so i know where your coming from! :D lol

xoxo

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

britmum,
i wanna be your neighbor too:)

cow is a bad word in england?..what does it mean over there?..damn.

karin,
well he did not get a ticket, or i would went and busted up some ass:)

charmed,
why thank you..havent seen ya around in a while, its to see ya:)

cliff,
so how much does this manger postion pay exactly?

heart of darkenss,
cops suck ass . they cant help it..

u need to get yourself some kids and your fun will be endless:)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

tammy,
ok i am glad you liked your dream assemsnt..i am a bit rusty:)

and hubby got pulled over here when we first moved cuz of our Michigan plates..dumb retards i tell ya.

claire,
ok i wanna move to whatever state your in..vaugly organized is better than this crap:)


princess,
oh I dont have that kinda time..but this ship wold run smoother if i was, thats for damn sure:)

Heart Of Darkness said...

Get some kids and have endless fun? Hon, with my attention span and patience, I'd rather have a dull time, then serve time for murder one... ;)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

heart of darkenss,
true...oh how very true:)

Jewl said...

Hehe... I find myself watching the shows, singing the songs... I have no clue what is on the radio but I can sing just about every kid show's theme song. Sad, so sad... I was just talking about Blues Clues on my blog today... funny.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

jewl,
and blues clues sint even my favoiert one..i accutally dont like it..

but i do enjoy the wiggles and lazy town..( sportacus can come save me anyday)..

we have lots of wiggle cd's..so its sad when i know all the words to the songs, along with def lapprd or prince..

now thats lame sweety:)

~Deb said...

Believe me, upstate from me the cops sit around waiting for someone to jay walk. It's sad.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

deb,
it almost seems like they just wait and watch here..i mean this state, along with my county have the biggest Meth probem in the state, yet they waste time pulling over moms nad dads for stupid crap..God I hate people sometimes:)

LZ Blogger said...

SO... you are a DEEP POCKETS litigator. It's always a good idea to sue the folks with the MONEY! ~ I hope someone doesn't sue you after you win the lottery! I REALLY need that pool boy job! ~ jb///

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

lz bloggr,
well I really need to win the lotto, and you can be ONE of my many pool boys..the job is yours, you dont even need to fill out an application;)

Raggedy said...

hahahaha
What a fun post..
Thanks!
Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) huge huggles
(")_ (")Š from da Raggedy one

Michele_3 said...

That's it your moving-
Tell the hubby & the kids right away! Me & Denise will be waiting..

You had me cracking up about Blue's Clues- I find myself doing that from time to time too- it's funny!

Take care!
:)

Gette said...

Hell, I voted for Jesse, wtf not?

For me, it's Kim Possible I get stuck to.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

rageddy,
glad u enjoyed it:)

michele,
ok, u tell him..he wont listen to me..

gette,
kim poosiable huh?..my kids use to watch it, not anymore..no more naked mole rats here;)

d said...

LMFAO!

Oh Bossy, I missed you. Sorry I disappeared.

I watch the damn shows too - I just need to see the end. Not only that, but I will finish a movie I've already seen a thousand times too. Maybe I should work for the state of Minnesota too - it appears I'm over qualified ;)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

d,
i am not speaking to you anymore..u cant just deseert me like that...damn u woman..

but i am the same way, i need to see the end..we need lives i guess huh?
:)

i missed u

Wethyb said...

Damn you crack me up! Sounds like MN isn't much better than MI!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

wethyb,
well at least MI has secarty of state office with hours that can be worked around peoples lives..MN sucks ass..wanna move here?
;)

mal said...

Pizza Hut burned down? If its like the one near us, thats a blessing...

I pay $30 for a cut and she washes it, fluffs it up etc and it looks good for about 30 minutes. I had my annual bob in June and I just get it trimmed and the color touched up every 6 weeks or so and let it grow thru the the winter...helps keep your neck warm