I think I have began to re-think the baby thing. Just because I have ovaries does not mean I have to take full advantage of them. I have 3 spawns who cause me grief and happiness all at the same time. Why mess with a good thing right? Plus, I am on my way to pre-kid weight, and I can not blow it now. Plus, I have some news....
Remember how I have mentioned that my dad is getting married in November? To a much younger gal...Who is younger than I.....I love her though, she is wonderful...But yesterday, she asked me to be the Matron of Honor in the wedding. I was shocked. I was pleasantly shocked. I mean she has an older sister (whom I graduated high school with, I mean same class, same year..All that jazz)..SO I assumed her sister would be her Matron of Honor..But nope..Its gonna be yours truly.
I wont tell her that the last time I was a matron of honor it ended in divorce....
So crap, do I need to prepare a speech?...Man I don't remember what the duties are. Being we aren't in the same state, I can not do all of the duties I should. But I am looking forward it. I only hope I do not make a horses ass out of myself, like tripping with my heels, passing out, or getting so sloshed I am not sure what way is home....
now I need to do double time, I can not have my girls flopping outta my dress...I may get all wild and crazy and then all of a sudden " whoppsie ,my girls are greeting everyone" I so wish I could get a boob job. Nothing I do seems to take the swelling that 3 kids gave me in that upper body area. another good reason not to have a 4th....They only get bigger with each kid...
Alas, as I am on my way to becoming a female body builder, I am hoping they will come into their own...Steroids shrink that stuff right, I mean they say they shrink a mans man hood right?...Yes, this gives me something to ponder....
My luck I will end up looking like I have just had my sex change operation....This will not look good in the wedding photos...My dad would not be pleased....
Toodles
Friday, January 13, 2006
Yup, I am an old maid....
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
15 comments:
Man, this is gettig good. Now I'll have to keep reading. A maid of honor... stay tuned.
About the kids. 3 enough. you're right.
About the top. Get one of those trick mirrors from the carnival.
I got this great visual of you tripping down the isle, sprawling out on the floor with "The Girls" hanging out for the world to see.
That will not happen though! You'll be a beautiful Matron of Honor!
Cliff,
you always have the greatest ideas, and I bet you could tell me where to get one too..haha
coolchic,
man, you sure know how to get outta something dont you?..heehee
I am acctaully looking forward to it..:)
Krystal,
this is my vision as well....but thank you for lying..your the best;)
not only is she younger than me..but she graduated with my younger sister...hows that for jerry springer?
really she is awsome, I cant say I have many friends, but I can say she is one of them;)
k since I am the recent expert on all things wedding I will say you only have to make a speech if that is what the bride wants. Tradionally only the best man gave a speech but more and more both of the bests give speeches. So basically that makes it no clearler for you. You make fun about the girls but I had that happen to me when I was a bridesmaid in my exroomates wedding. So on their video they ask me to lean over and say something to the happy couple and oops one of the girls came loose from my very poorly custom made dress. Yet I didn't know this happened until I saw the video. So be careful it does happen.
Yer nuts lol
OK firstly, having alot of children is NOT a bad thing. It's a personal choice though and if you don't want more than 3-and you want to look like a man, go for it. LOL j/k dear.
So uh...you WON'T look like a guy will you? I mean, muscles are good but...ya know.
How cool about the matron of honor-I so hate that word MATRON though-makes me think of som big fat old lady.
karin,
I know normally the best man does, but it has been so long since i have been to a wedding I didnt know if they had changed it up on me..I have a long time to worry bout it anyway:)
Anne,
well I am hoping I dont turn into a man..I was meaning that if I take steroids to shrink my gilrs, I would end up with chizzled features looking like a man who just had a sex change opreation to be a woman..ya follow that?..haha
it is not my goal by any means..hahaa
I think I have enough kids, for now, when we move to south carolina, I may re visit the thought,,MAY being the word here,,HAHA
I'm a little late and this just dawned on me BUT she's in her late twenties isn't she?! OMGoddess, you're gonna go through the change before your step-mother does.
She's in her child bearing years. Your kids could have aunts and uncles that are younger than them.
My mind is beginning to spin...
krystal
all you say is true..haha
but they arent having kids, she doesnt want any, and my dad is fixed..haha
SC? When ya doing that?? You'll be closer to me!!
Thanks for the vote too ;o)
Don't take steroids!!! I am working on my diploma in fitness and nutrition so I can be a personal trainer and I HAVE to tell you they are a no-no. NO NO.
Anne,
well that is our plan..SC..no snow there, or very little anyway, I wanna go to florida..he dont..so its a comprmise..haha
I was only joking bout the steroids..not to worry baby...
how much you gonna charge if your my personal trianer..haha?
Nuttin'. Cause I love ya lol
I'll trim you down and fatten you up all on the same day LMAO
A chef/personal trainer..sheesh what was I thinking?
Ugh - MATRON of honor. I hate that word for some reason. I think it should be "maid" no matter how old or married you are. LOL.
Good luck with all the duties. Yick. I wonder why she wouldn't pick her sister? It's kind of sad to me. I have 2 sisters and I can't imagine passing them up for something special like that.
As for the boobs, can't help you there. Mine are just as in need of repair as yours. (If not more!) ... Ever seen those African tribes on National Geographic channel? ;)
anne,
aww shucks...you no I am in need of it huh?..I dont want no pitty trainer..haha
Tee,
we need to get our girls on a 30 day program..:)
well I have one sister and we DO not get along..she is not my breed, we dont speak the same laguge nor do we have the same vaules...some sisters arent as lucky as you and yours..You are blessed..I always feel I have cheated out of a sister..but i always wanted a brother, an older brother..(so I could date his hot friends heehee)
your dad's robbing the cradle, and you're worried about "your girls". you are weirrrrrrrrrredddddddd
i'm normal, you are weirdddddddddddd
to him who has a lot , little is given, to him who has little, a lot is given. it says that in the bible, somewhere. i don't remember. and of what relevance is it to your post? well, thats for you to decide.
Post a Comment