Wednesday, April 25, 2007

smells like teen spirit

I walked by a house tonight that smelled like onions, then I walked by one that smelled like spaghetti, then a few blocks down it smelled of moth balls .

How do u get the innards of your home, to go to the outards? How is this done? Me, I am walking down the street, being over come by stench.

When I walk by our trailer park in town, it smells of crack whores and tequila with a splash of rotten garbage. It lingers for blocks, I crap you not. I worry the smell may attach to my clothing.

But it makes me wonder how do certain smells overcome a home. I often wonder what my house smells like to other people. I mean once u get past my three day old garbage and the smell lingering from the litter box I have not changed in 5 days..I just wonder what it smells like.

I use Pine Sol on a daily basis. Now I wonder if the combine smells from the trash, cat litter and Pine Sol are a lethal combo, and that's why the rabbit died.

Now the first little Bunnie, she died shortly after arriving, before I was an addict to Pine Sol. The second bunny laying under rocks and dirt in the yard, passed on Sunday. After 2 plus years, she had enough and wanted to get out.

Maybe it was a suicide, I don't know..I cant deny nor confirm anything as to this.

But I wonder if the smells here had anything to do with it. One day The Boy's friend said that my house smells like a hospital. Then one of Blondies friends told me it smelled like cookies.

So I have no idea what this means. I don't bake, nor do I perform any "major" surgeries anymore. Just a few minor procedures. THAT'S ALL. I swear.

So , come to my house, take a whiff, let me know what u think.

~
My hours at work got a f-ed up again. I had a set work week. Now its gone. Now I have a new one.

I will be plugging about 75 hours a pay period. I realize my birthday is next week, which brings me one year closer to retirement.....which brings me to wonder, is it to early to start cashing in?

I mean I am by no means guaranteed to live to be 88 like my dear old grandpa, so if I do not start taking advantage of shit now, I may never get to. And then I would feel totally ripped off.

So I am going to get my retirement papers in the works...It wont kill me to try.

I am not a quitter.

Or maybe I can injury myself on the job, apply for Workman's comp, then apply for full disability.

I think that's the only way I will get a sure fire check with doing nothing but maintain a house that smells like cookies and hospitals. If I had more time here at home, I could get it smelling like a dentist office, with that kind of time on my hands.

I could plant a fruit tree, make my bed daily, clean my windows, and last but not least, make a head stone for my dead rodents making good plant food for me...at virtually no damn cost.

Anyway, these are things I ponder today...excuse my absence while I actually have to go out and make a f-ing living....Since I quit my easy street job doing virtually nothing but use my computer like it is some sort of life line, while others use to get a good laugh out of it..Well, sometimes anyway..OK, lets face it, no one did.

Ok, I am going to be busy..please don't take my non-being-here as an insult. I am just trying to bring home the milk.....Mr shaky brings home the bacon, well the turkey bacon anyway...I make enough to bring home milk once a week.

Oh and again today Boo asked if we could go dig up Thumper. Wanna know why today?

Not to see if she was "ok" but to indeed see if the worms had ate her eyes out like Blondie predicts.

These kids are some sick F*cks.

Bee Disabled.





13 comments:

Bella said...

I hate that some houses stink when you walk by them. I do believe pine sol and cookies could be a toxic mix. I know if my place ever smelled like either of them people would wonder where the hell they were. Especially since I hate baking and I don't use scented cleaners.

Monogram Queen said...

I have noticed lately that when I walk into my parents house it has an "old peopley" smell. Don't ask me to elaborate!
I like to think my house smells like a mixture of Febreze and Lemon Pledge but who knows?

eyes_only4him said...

Katie,
yea, I dont bake either, thats what makes me giggle..

but I am an avid duster/cleaner..so smelling like a hospital, dont surprise me much..

eyes_only4him said...

Patti-cake,
yes...its hard to explain old people smell, thats for sure..

I always like to think mine smelled like lemon pledge and cinnomon, since those are the two things constantly going..

damn good think they dont smell anything else i guess..haha

Cliff said...

While you're gone...one word...renegotiate. More $'s will cure all.
Oh, and turkey bacon is of the devil. Shaky should know that.
Bacon-Natures perfect food.

Neurotic1 said...

You better start cashing in on social security now because it damn sure won't be there when we reach retirement age. Or retirement age will be 100! I know my house smelled like cat piss this morning. I would much rather have the toxic smells of pine sol!

eyes_only4him said...

Cliff,
I have been trying to renegiate for a year...they dont care...bastards.

I hate any kind of bacon, but the turkey bacon wont clog Blondies heart so fast..hehe

Neurtic,
thats why I need to get on dissabilty, i want to be aboe to cash in on all this now before its too late...r u with me?

Choppzs said...

Ok, the cooter thing is absolutely hillarious!

I too, wonder what my house smells like to others. It's a sick obsession with me. I am constantly lighting candles or potpourri or incense or some kind of shit to make it smell nice incase it stinks and i don't realize it!! lol I sometimes wish it smelled like my gparents home, coffee and cookies. MMM, loved that smell!

Karin said...

Well when we have come back from vacation our house smelled like the cat box. It often smells like Vanilla and 409 though. Oh well I really don't care what it smells like I can't smell it anymore. We will miss you while you are off working instead of hanging out with us. Don't forget us.

Jamie Dawn said...

I've often thought of the house odor thing.
I hope my house smells nice, but who knows??
We get used to our own smell, so we wouldn't know if the house smelled like crap or not.
Spaghetti trumps moth balls though.
Pine Sol trumps spoiled garbage.

Kendra Lynn said...

When I was a teenager, all my friends and school would come up to my desk and sniff my hair and clothes. I KID YOU NOT. They actually did.
Apparently my "house smell" was really really good.
Weird, I know.
I have no idea what my house smell is like now...probably not as good as my mom's.
Ah well...I'll never live up to her standards anyhow.

Kendra

p.s. Better keep an eye on Boo and make sure she's not using her sand shovel to dig up Bunny.

The Ethical Slut said...

My friends and boyfriend always tell me my house smells really good.

I really enjoy smelling people who use Tide laundry soap. It always emits a really great smell!

Yarn Tails said...

You really dont want to do the work comp thing... Trust me! It is a bigger pain in the ass!

My house smells like whatever I am cooking that day unless I forget the litter box and the son dont take out the garbage. But honestly if you walk by I swear you will get hungry! LOL

Dont work too hard!