Wednesday, May 02, 2007

much a do about nothing

That turtle I posted last week. The one I brought for the kids to see. Guess what. I saw her smashed in the road on my walk yesterday morning. How do I know its her you ask? Because she had a piece of shell missing...Its how I identified the body. She has no teeth so we could not go by her dental records. I knew I should of kept her, but I am just against keeping wild animals for pets. But damnit....now she is vulture food, and I could of saved her. And what asshat runs over a turtle? I mean, they are easy to go around. Not like they are running across the street, they are walking slowly, you have plenty of time to stop and go around them. Or if its not a busy street, like this one is...Get your ass out of your car, pick the turtle up, and carry it across the road.



sonofabitch.



This is why I hate most people.



~

Boo keeps telling me she needs to go pick blueberries because "her mother" is making blueberry pie. Apparently I am not her mother, cuz I don't make blueberry pies. Or any pies for that matter.



~

Its my birthday Wednesday. I plan on eating lots of cake and drinking lots of diet soda.



All I want for my birthday is something good to eat, and clean clothes.



Here is a pic of me when I was a young one..












































I am the one in the middle. As if u did not know...I was about 10 or 11 there. Now I am freaking 32. How and when did I get so golldang old?

I don't know how it happened. I woke up one day with crows feet, early signs of wrinkles, and a slight case of dementia. Just BAM, out of nowhere.

So think of me on Wednesday. I am putting applications to all the local nursing homes and such. It wont be long and I will be peeing and poo-pooing on myself.

If the astronaut lady can use diapers, then so can I.

~
The Boy wants a $3,000 telescope so he can see "The sea of tranquility" and also craters on the moon and other various heavenly objects. If he discovers a new planet, the telescope will more then pay for itself..Its an "investment to my future" letting him he get a $3,000 telescope..I am banking on him finding something that will make us a shit wad of money.

My luck, he will star gaze a few nights, bark at the moon a few times, then retire his ten thousand dollar telescope because he is on to bigger and better things.

Like wanting a hoover craft or something.



Well Happy Birthday to me...



One year old and 20 pounds fatter.


Bee Real

57 comments:

Yarn Tails said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR BOSSY,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!

Here is to wishing many more years of turning 21...(I always tell everyone that I am going to be 21 on my birthday..LMAO) Have a wonderful day!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Yarn Tails,
thank u dear:) I Love turning 21, now i am legal drinking age.

Jerry said...

Happy Birthday, Bossy!!!1

just_tammy said...

Happy, Happy Birthday!!!

Too bad about the turtle.

You know the real reason Butch wants the telescope is to spy on the neighbors!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Thank you Jerry..

Tammy,
he already does that with the binoculrs;)

Packof2 said...

Happy Bday on Wednesday:)
32? You are a baby...I'll be 39 next month...yikes!

Very sad news about the turtle.

I sure hope that boo enjoys that blueberry pie...hehe


S

Ba Doozie said...

Didn't we see that pic and talk about making blueberry pies already? I think I'm going crazy. Oh wait. I am crazy. Slap ass crazy, and that is because I'm way older than you and way more retarded, and there is no hope for me, save yourself while there is still time!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Shelly,
39?..shouldnt U BE in a retirement home by now?..hehe

Badoozie,
hmm...well she keeps talking about blueberry pies, so I keep talking about it..and I prolly did post it, I had one of when I was very small, but I cant find it now..thats the closest one I could find to me being little..

so there:)

dakotablueeyes said...

Sob hit the turtle omg

dakotablueeyes said...

Happy Birthday

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

dakotablueyes,
tell me bout it..and thank u;)

Wendy said...

Turtle killing bastards! So sad.

Happy birthday a little early. I'm sure we will be wishing you a happy one all week.

Carmi said...

I once had a turtle - a red eared slider - and she died on my birthday. Please accept my sincere condolences.

BTW, I found your link on Jamie Dawn's blog and decided to follow it home. I'm glad I did, as your site is a compelling read. You write with such direct honesty.

I look forward to reading more of your work, and hope you'll pop by my blog as well.

(Oh, and you're NOT old!)

All the best,

Carmi
http://writteninc.blogspot.com/

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Wendy,
turtle killing bastards is right...

and thank u a little early:)

Carmi,
it was an red eared slider too...damn..I am still upset about it and it wasnt even my turtle.

Please stop by anytime and I am about to pop over and see u right now:)

Katie said...

Poor turtle.

Happy birthday! I will raise a glass to celebrate your 21st.

Marel Lecone said...

Funny post--sorry about that turtle though. :) And, happy birthday to you!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Katie,
raise more then one would ya?

Marel,
thank you..

poor turtle, is right..damn

Jamie Dawn said...

It's your BirthWEEK!! Milk it every day and make the hubby and kids serve you breakfast in bed on Monday, Tuesday and Wed.

That poor, poor turtle.
My turtle is alive and well. RoP is part of the family now, and if anyone smashes him, I will gut them like a fish.

I want some of that pie when you bake it. You ARE gonna bake it, right??? :)

I'm 43, so don't be whining about old age!!!!!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Jamie,
I am trying to milk it, but the cow seems dried up.

I am so sad about the turlte, when I found her at the lake, I should of kept her, but hell..My bunny died so I was in no place to make that kind of descion:)

There will be no pie, but I can send u a pic of one;)

jsull said...

i always thought of myself as one that could just kill a cooter but i never ran one over!!!

happy b-day
I do hope very much that you can keep from pooping on yourself all day wed.!

and you have had demensia for at least however long i have been commenting here!
ole j

Kelly said...

Aw, poor little "Cooter"!

Whoa! Hold the boat! It is only Sunday there Chica! Don't make us older any faster than we have to! You and I need to celebrate together before our kids put us in homes!

I'm sure I'll be talking to you before, but Happy Birthday you old fart!

Miss 1999 said...

Happy Birthday you wild hoochie momma! Don't get TOO wild. What the hell am I saying? Do what ya want! ;0)

Neurotic1 said...

Happy Birthday to you! Have a great week and eats lots of crap! My Dad could help Butch find the seven nekkid nymphs with that there telescope!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

slick willy,
i need your alibi, I want proof u didnt smash the cooter.

Kelly,
no, its Monday:) I wont be home to post, so I am doing it now..u get it;)

I will let u know how turning 32 feels..I will let u know Wednesday so your fully prepared Thursday.

Miss 1999,
Wanna get wild and crazy with me girl?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Neurotic,
thanks..

seven nekkid nymphs?...I cant stop laughing after reading that..hehe

Gette said...

I had to straddle a turtle on a busy bridge in the burbs yesterday, I didn't hold out much hope for it. I was down in Austin (where I'm proud to say I never even looked at SPAM) and it was gorgeous.
I've got a hand-me-down tlescope on the porch you can have. Save the 3K (as soon as I give it away, the kid will actually want to use it, so maybe just borrow it until Butch gets bored.)

patti_cake said...

I always try to stop and rescue turtles and it pisses me off when people run over them. Arrgh.

Happy Birthday Dear Bossy! Have lots of cake & diet soda for me.
21 bwaa haa.. oh. sorry.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Gette,
Sometimes straddleing a turtle can be a good thing..haha

SO u have a telescope huh?..I aint for certain, but I think Mr Shaky has already purchased it, if not, I would buy yours from u..

Patti-cake,
turning 21 is a milestone u know..hehe

~Deb said...

You do realize you made it "Wednesday" already, right? hehe!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL!!! I hope you have a great day- you already put us into the future! Now I'm two days older. Fricken A!

With the turtle, sometimes it looks like a 'rock'. I saw one not too long ago, and I swore it was a rock. Maybe that's why the other person didn't see it...? But, thank God for their shells! Wish I had something like that to protect me, however, I'd probably end up in some mental institution wearing that silly get-up.

Hmm.

~Deb said...

P.S. Cute photo!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Deb,
I know, I have a time machine, and made it my birthday today..hehe

well, I aint never seen a rock that moves:)

Well the shell doesnt do a damn bit of good when a motor vehcile runs over it..haha

Sorry I aged u two days..u love it and u know it;)

Choppzs said...

Happy Birthday Bossy!

And poor turtle. Stupid fuckers must be blind and stupid to be able to hit a slow moving poor turtle!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Choppzs,
thank you;)

and there are lost of stupid fuckers around these parts..turtle killers is what they is..

The Kept Woman said...

That fucking sucks about your turtle.

I mean had you kept it and gotten sick of it you could have made turtle soup.

Think of that meal that was wasted.

There are starving kids in Africa you know.

Working Mom said...

Just think, what could be worse than turning 32? Oh I know, I'm going to turn 33 in May and I'm gonna be almost 9 months preggo! At least you can drink and forget what age you're turning!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

TKW,
u aint kidding..BUT, he wasnt that big...wouldnt made that big of a batch,

Working Mom,
ok ok....stop complaining..hehehehehe

Meow said...

Happy Birthday for tomorrow, Bossy. Wow, only 32 (I turned 42 last year ... now THAT's old !!).
Hope it is a brilliant day.
Take care, Meow

Michael Manning said...

A SPECIAL HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU BOSSY! YOU'RE YOUNG,AND YOU ROCK!

Britmum said...

Yeah Yeah enough about the age... your only freakin 32 for crying out lound. Keep your cotton socks on.

May I however in the spirit of Birthdays and all wish you a super fab birthday darling.

Thanks for stopping by my blog not to read my news. lol

Take care and big birthday hugs. xx

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

thank u guys....your the best.

1 plus twins said...

happy birthday to you!! shit i wish i was 32 again!!! hey your son won't retire that telscope when he realizes he can see in his girlfriends window. lol hope you have a great birthday!!

Neurotic1 said...

You didn't disappear on your birthday did you? Hope you have a wonderful birthday ;-)

just_tammy said...

Happy Birthday on this your for real birth day!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

thank u guys...

sorry i have not been around much, been super busy...please forgive me.

Vani said...

HAPPY BIRFDAY BOSSY!! *hugs* hope it rocks :)...see i'm too old to be using the word, "rocks"..lol

Jamie Dawn said...

Happy Birthday!!!!

I'm guessing that poor turtle is still dead. I suppose he didn't rise from the dead or anything like that or you would have posted about such an occurence.

Have a wonderful day!!

Eat something fattening then go for a 14 mile jog.

Wendy said...

Happy Birthday! I tagged you on my blog. Take care and enjoy your birthday.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

vani,
thanks..but your NEVER to old to say ROCKS..haha

Jamie,
yup, still dead, as a matter of fact, i was thinking of taking apic of it tonight while i am my walk..or would that be way to morbid?

thanks for the birthday wishes;)

Wendy,
thanks..

Ok, i will do it tonight when i do my new post..

kaliblue said...

Well at least you still have your sense of humor about ya in your old age *LMAO*. Happy birthday to you and I hope you have a great day:-).

J to the I to the double L said...

Happy Birthday Hoe! I am singing Whitney Houstons "I will always love you" in my mind right now..dedicated to you for your 32nd..enjoy slut!!

Love ya
Jillybear

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Kaliblueblue,
thanks girl;)

Jill,
aww, u love me, u really love me:)

Anonymous said...

I thank God for every day we are able to spend loving , learning and growing,

weathering lifes storms no matter how bad the blowing,

hoping that you know that my love is everflowing.

...and if I had ever been so bold,

to think that I would ever be told,

that I would have you to have and to hold,

all the days of my life,

I would gladly take a thousands times a days problems and strife,

Just to know that you will always be my wife.

Love you....and Happy BIRTHDAY!

Chels-Puddle Jumper said...

Happy Birthday! Let me know how 32 is...tha's my next one. Hope it's not too harsh on you. And even though you don't feel like you are sixteen anymore, you look pretty damn good. And your kids will probably try to convince hyou that you would look even more younger if you baked blueberry pies and bought the boy a million dollar telescope. Just don't fall for it, ok?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Mr SHaky,
Stop the presses, u do read it..

Thanks..and thanks for the birthday gifts, the shrimp, the cheesesticks, the cake, the concert tickets, and everything else..God speed preacher boy.

Chels,
thanks...so far 32 feels ok, not sure yet..sorta feels just like 32..hehe

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

ok wiat Mr shaky, did u get that off a greeting card or did u write that shit yourself?..just wondering.

Tomscockwhore said...

Okay piss off 32 is golldang old! HA! I'll be 34 next month so BITE ME.

And happy birthday to you - you cooter lovin bee havin maniac. You rock!!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

TCW,
ok, you ARE old..hehe..

naw, we are young spring chicks...

when is your birthday anyway?