May Day, May Day

There is a weird holiday here. I am not sure if holiday is even the right term, all I know is we did not celebrate it back in Michigan. This holiday is on May 1st. Its called May Day. You make baskets and leave them on porches of your friends or neighbors but you do not say whom it is from. Well someone left three May Day baskets on our front porch that day and I was wondering what the sam bloody hell this was. Then a Friend from work informed me about the tradition. I knew if I did not call Mr Shaky and tell him, he would toss them figuring someone was trying to poison our bees. Turns out it was a neighbor whom left him, rememberodd looking girl ? I talked about her last summer, Blondies friend...Well they were from the her...sonofabitch.



Guess I can not give ugly kids hard times anymore..They cant help it if God made them odd looking.




~




Ok, remember the turtle I saved last week and brought home to show the kids...here it is having better days..




























Here she is now....mind u, she was run down about a week ago..






























This is her cousin.































Here is a cousin who has managed to stay out of danger, its sitting on this log in the swamp here..see...I should really get a job working for National Geographic..no shit.










































This here, this here, this is a Goose...for real.

This is just a shot of part of our lake...not much to write home about, so I am just writing it here.








































so anyway, there was your bit of nature for today.

~

On to my birthday, the more important of everything..

Here is my cake...







































It was good. I ate a lot today...here is a run down of my diet on my birthday

eggs, hasbrowns,sausage,toast..(my mom took me out for breakfast)
afterward I wanted something sweet and consumed some cinnomelts from McDonald's.



For dinner I had half of a steak, shrimp, cheesesticks,macaroni salad, cole slaw,grilled potatoes....and cake..

I am afraid my four mile walk did not cut it tonight...

~

Oh I need to tell you about my bra....now sit down, it aint pornographic, so put your tongues back in.


I had a woman come to my house and measure and give me a costume bra...Ok, I figured I would be at least a 50 FF....but no...guess what. My one bra is a 40 C ( i measures 36 but she said u have to add at least 4 more inches to get proper fit)

when she said C I said " u mean a D"


then my other bra is a 42 B...WTF? Have u seen my knockers?..oh hell no.

But the fit and feel like butter.

And they set me back around 100 smackaroo's.



any price to keep my girls in the upright position.



Thanks for the birthday wishes...Oh and Mr Shaky even left a comment on the last post, I nearly wet myself..


Well take care...I will be gone for a few days..Bee good while mom is gone.



Bee Real

much a do about nothing

That turtle I posted last week. The one I brought for the kids to see. Guess what. I saw her smashed in the road on my walk yesterday morning. How do I know its her you ask? Because she had a piece of shell missing...Its how I identified the body. She has no teeth so we could not go by her dental records. I knew I should of kept her, but I am just against keeping wild animals for pets. But damnit....now she is vulture food, and I could of saved her. And what asshat runs over a turtle? I mean, they are easy to go around. Not like they are running across the street, they are walking slowly, you have plenty of time to stop and go around them. Or if its not a busy street, like this one is...Get your ass out of your car, pick the turtle up, and carry it across the road.



sonofabitch.



This is why I hate most people.



~

Boo keeps telling me she needs to go pick blueberries because "her mother" is making blueberry pie. Apparently I am not her mother, cuz I don't make blueberry pies. Or any pies for that matter.



~

Its my birthday Wednesday. I plan on eating lots of cake and drinking lots of diet soda.



All I want for my birthday is something good to eat, and clean clothes.



Here is a pic of me when I was a young one..












































I am the one in the middle. As if u did not know...I was about 10 or 11 there. Now I am freaking 32. How and when did I get so golldang old?

I don't know how it happened. I woke up one day with crows feet, early signs of wrinkles, and a slight case of dementia. Just BAM, out of nowhere.

So think of me on Wednesday. I am putting applications to all the local nursing homes and such. It wont be long and I will be peeing and poo-pooing on myself.

If the astronaut lady can use diapers, then so can I.

~
The Boy wants a $3,000 telescope so he can see "The sea of tranquility" and also craters on the moon and other various heavenly objects. If he discovers a new planet, the telescope will more then pay for itself..Its an "investment to my future" letting him he get a $3,000 telescope..I am banking on him finding something that will make us a shit wad of money.

My luck, he will star gaze a few nights, bark at the moon a few times, then retire his ten thousand dollar telescope because he is on to bigger and better things.

Like wanting a hoover craft or something.



Well Happy Birthday to me...



One year old and 20 pounds fatter.


Bee Real