Thursday, February 01, 2007

They say its your birthday

*yes i know i am posting this early, I wont have time over the next few days to post anything, so stop your bitching for crying out loud*


ok, ya see a few years ago I birthed about the ugliest baby ever( if i had a scanner that worked i would show you the grotesk features i speak of). I mean this baby had
a black and blue face, a weird ass birthmark on its forehead and was freaking huge..I mean we are talking almost a nine pounder..And I pushed it out, all by myself.

This kid of mine has turned into a royal pain in my ass. You wanna know why? Cuz she has joined the wreslting team, and now boys can touch all over her, she has an attitude somedays, and she hates to clean her room.

This kid is some piece of work. Not only is she convinced that babies come from drinking salt water, but she encouraged me the other day to drink some..

This kid of mine had heart troubles last year, had to go to a cardiologist, whom told us she was going to be A-okay....And she better be...Or I will totally kill someone.

This kid chases boys on her, picks up worms, digs in the dirt, likes star wars, now has a new found love for farm life, and could watch animal planet for hours on end.

She does not give me a hard time about anything other then cleaning..She will walk up to me, and just say " momma I love you"

Or she will run to her room and tell me she is never going to talk to me again..

She loves to eat double cheeseburgers in her happy meals, she loves pizza from Pizza Hut, she hates spaghetti and now has a new hatred for my meatloaf...She refuses to eat the whole green bean, but only eats the tiny beans inside the green bean..

She loves white milk and chocolate milk, along with juice and water...She hates soda.

This is my kid...I was doing her up like a prostitute from the looks of this one.



















This is her looking like a total bitch...













My little girl is growing fast, and I don't much care for it..I am scared of the day she wakes up and has boobies..I think I will die that day.






















My little girl only stands by certain kids at the bus stop...She tends to only mingle with other girls whom look sorta like her...She is clichey that way...She will end up with less friends then me one day...






















My girl has boys calling my house....One boy she totally body slams at wrestling, so its all good...I just hope that little pecker head isn't enjoying it.



















In the last year my little girl has lost about 10 teeth...4 she had to have pulled due to the fact the dentist guy claims her mouth is too small..I say he is smoking crack..




















My little girl likes to sun herself with me in the summer....But she looks way better in a swim suit then I do..















My little girl has drawn up the farm she wants us to live on...She says she wants to milk all the cows herself...By hand...What a dumbass
























My little girl loves to bake..She loves being in the kitchen helping do anything. She likes to set the table and she likes to lick the batter ot of the bowl if we make a cake.





















Yup. This is my girl.

Only I could have a kid who is that versatile in her likes and dislikes..

Only I could raise such a bad ass..

She is a little ripper some days. She always makes me smile. And I hate smiling.

On Thursday my baby will be 7 years old. She came out 2 weeks early weighing in at 8 pounds 13 ounces and 22 and half inches long..

she now proudly states to anyone that her weight is 46 pounds..She knows this cuz she is in wrestling dumb asses. Not because I make her weigh herself daily.

But if she offers me another glass of salt water, I am gonna kick her ass myself, and thoroughly enjoy it.












Happy Birthday my cutest little Blondie....No you are not getting a horse for your birthday, and No a boy cant go to your birthday party, cuz boys I would have to kill them.

Bee Real

50 comments:

Karen K. said...

Remember when you became a teenager? You know everything and can do anything. Blondie is not quite there yet but I do believe that is when your troubles begin. Hold on to these precious little girl days as long as you can for one day she will actually hate you and not want to be around you. don't worry cause as soon as she reaches her 20's she will love you again and thank you for being a great mom!

Happy Birthday to you, Blondie. I hope you don't grow up too fast for the sake of your Mom, whom I know loves you very much!

Michele_3 said...

OMG! That is the most sweetest and funniest post ever-you crazy woman you!

Happy Birthday Blondie!
She is a doll, It really is a good thing she is learning how to kick the boy's asses now- Because she'll need to use it in High School to keep them away-Too Cute!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Karen,
if she is anything like me then I am in big ass trouble..hehe..but thanks..that was sweet..

Michele,
u know i am a crazy woman..hehe..I think one of your boys might be after her one day..cuz u got some nice lookin boys..hehe

aj said...

Happy Birthday, Blondie!

That was a great post!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

AJ,
thanks..and thanks for stopping by as well.

deni said...

Happy Birthday, Blondie.

Egads!! Nine pounds!!

Can you imagine how big she would have been if she had waited the two weeks?

OUCH!!

aatank said...

What is it about 1st daughters? You describe Blondie exactly how my Kay is. That is very weird how much they are alike.

Have fun freezing your a$$ skateing over the weekend....I'll be thinking about you while I'm loungeing in front of the fireplace.

Happy Birthday Blondie!! Have a great day!

Neurotic1 said...

Happy Birthday Blondie! She is just darling. Let's hope she stays that way. Those high school years come too soon. I just love little tomboys who can also be dolls when they want to put on the charm!

Karen K. said...

Hey Bossy, You think you had a big baby, my older sister gave birth to a 10lb. 1oz. girl when she was 16 years old. Well she actually didn't give birth she had a c section, the baby was twisted around inside her and my sister's birthing canal was too small. That baby girl is now almost 24 years old and making me a great aunt this coming may. I am so happy for her, she is my God child. Crazy how life is, I was the only one of 5 girls denied being a mother but yet I am going to be a great aunt at 38. Whats more crazy is seeing women who have been blessed with children and don't take care of them or abuse them and a person like me would give anything to have a child, go without. I know you are a great person and Mom, enjoy all your children.

Britmum said...

Well Bossy you keep on astounding me.

I loved this post about Blondie.

You are so luck sweetie.

Take care xx

Karin said...

Happy Giving Birth day Bossy, we all know you did all the work. She is such a beautiful girl. I hope she continues to be tough and to go after the things she wants in this world. You have done a great job so far raising such a free spirited, well rounded daughter who is not limited because she is a girl. I hope if I have a daughter I can say the same about her.

JD's Rose said...

Happy Birthday little Meg!!!

I love that photo where you think she looks like a total bitch. Attitude! The girls' got class!

xxx

Angel Girl said...

Awwww! Happy birthday! That was a great post :)

I'm going to try to come by more regularly.. but my time is limited with school so if I don't I promise to be around on occasion :)

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Deni,
yup, well almost nine pounds anyway..hehe..she woulda been a good 10 pounder if she waited any longer;)

Aatank,
well I bet they would be best buds then if they lived closer..

I am not going ice skating, we are going roller skating, I swear this place looks just like stony creek..haha

Neurotic,
thank you..she is a little pisser sometimes, but she is my little pisser. I am not looking forward to the tten years, thats for damn sure.

Karen,
10 pounds..thats a toddler..haha

JoJO,
thank you..I love astounding my jojo..hehe

Karin,
aww, thanks..I hope u have a baby girl, if not this time your next time..haha..your gonna make a great momma no matter what it is.

JD ROse,
yes, I love her bitchy pic too..she is just like her momma, only better looking;)


Angel,
I have missed you...its so nice to see u agian;)

The Blog Whore said...

Aw...

:)

Fantastagirl said...

Happy Birthday Blondie!

You are such a cutie!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Blog Whore,
u like?..hehe

Fantstagirl,
thanks..she is lookin forward to eating her farm cake, now thats my girl alright:)

Miss 1999 said...

What a beauty! Yep, you're gonna have to be beating the boys off with a stick when she gets older!

Princess said...

That post was fricken hilarious!

Blondie is gonna be so gawgus when she is older. Man... you think you have boy trouble now! LOL ;)

you can always send her here to Australia, where she can rum free with the animals? :P

Happy Birthday to Blondie!!!!

xoxo

crack-zilla said...

i hate i cant remember conception but damn that lil bee has gotta be mine too!!!!!
hehe
js

Cliff Morrow said...

It would appear that you better get good at threatening little boys. She's going to have a LOT of them coming round.
Happy Birthday to her.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Miss 1999,
and i have a big damn stick to do lots of beating with too..hehe

thank you though.


Princess,
i dont know. if i send her there, she might chase all the boys cause that aussie accent is super sexy..better just keep her in the cellar here where there are no accents..

Slick willy,
well I am pretty sure I remebr this one, and I mean it coulda been you...but its unlikely, but if u wanna pay child support is you want to..i am always up for getting money.

CLiff,
that is one thing i can do very well...and I am figuring when Boo gets older, I am gonna have to have double the trouble...i might send them both to your farm to be farm hands..know little boys there is there?

Raggedy said...

What a beautiful post.
I loved all the pictures.
She is adorable.

Happy Birthday Blondie!

Have a wonderful day!
*^_^
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Thank you Raggedy..

:)

Christie said...

hehe
happy birthday blondie!

TrickySaber said...

Hey, it's lady N.. but don't tell anyone. I deleted my old blog because when i switched over to google it made my profiles smoosh together.. And that sucked.. So now you should come visit me and my tricky blog.

And *tear* to the post. It was very touching. Happy Birthday little lady!

Heather

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Christy,
thanks..and thanks for stopping by

Tricksy,
I wondered what happen to you..i have missed u.

Brandy said...

Awwww Now you are the sweetest mommy ever to do a whole post to your daughter.

Happy Birthday Blondie!

I am back with the living and hopefully nothing bad will happen at our end again. *knock on wood*

Now to get caught back up in all the blogs. I have a feeling I am gonna be reading for days. Hmmm maybe I will just read the important people blogs.

Have fun on Thursday with your Blondie. I hope she has a grand day!

Badoozie said...

wow, how poignant yet compelling...I am awestruck by the sentiment expressed here today. bless you dear mother of said child

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Brandy,
on thier birthdays i try and drum up some sort of crap about them..hehe

Suzie,
hmm, I cant tell if u mean that or if ur making fun of me..either way, thanks..
;)

The Kept Woman said...

Alright, I know you don't wanna hear this but she's gonna ba a freakin' knock-out in about seven years...and then she better be able to body slame the boys 'cause she's gonna have to fight them off!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

TKW,
I had really not wanted to heaar that...

Good thing I know how to kick asses, and she can bodly slam them..hehe

Wethyb said...

Happy birthday Blondie!! Hope you have a great day!

Great post!

cathouse teri said...

That's an effin cute little girl!

Give her a birthday hug for me.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

WethyB,
thank you my dear, I am sure she will have a smashing good say Thursday:)

Cathouse Teri,
thank u sweety...I sure will pazz that hug along..

Working Mom said...

Happy Birthday Blondie!

I'd rather her want to kick the boys asses than, you know, other things...keep up the good work Blondie!

Blazer1234 said...

Hope blondie has a great birthday! Or as someone I know calls it: "Birth-Anniversary" It seems like you've done a great job with her so far...she's gonna be one kick-ass lady when she gets older. Just like her momma.

Jamie Dawn said...

Happy B-day to your Beautiful Blondie Bee!!!

She gives you a hard time sometimes about cleaning her room, but it's her JOB to mess with you.

About the boobies thing, my daughter has grown up to have bigger ones than me, which ain't saying much. If Blondie grows up to have bigger ones than you, she will have bad posture all her days.

I'm glad she is showing the boys who is boss. She needs to keep pinning them on the mat.

You are blessed with great kids!!!
You are a great mom, even if you have a potty mouth.

Be sure and spoil Blondie tomorrow. Maybe you could serve her a plate of just the beans within the green beans.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Working mom,
I am afraid within a few years time, she is gonna wanna pin the boys for other reasons..

*sigh*

Blazer,
thank you..and it is a birth annivesary..and we moms birthed them, so we need a damn prize of some kind.

Jamie,
those beans within the beans are tricky..now I only buy french style, so there is no inner bean..hehe

thank you,Blondie is bound to have a good birthday, there is cake after all. I will save u a piece.

Jodes said...

i am so GLAD i have boys.

just_tammy said...

Happy Birthday, Blondie!!!

Yep, celebrating anything so painful as birth should focus more on the mother than on the thing, I mean child, that caused so much pain. Yet we spend even more money and make sure their every wish is granted. Sick and twisted on so many levels.

I was going to suggest French style green beans but you are already purchasing so I have no advice except eat cake!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Jodes,
well I am glad I only have two, and one boy...I have a feeling they are all going to give me trouble in the futrue..not sure why I just didnt become a dog breeder.

Tammy,
no cake for me...its gonna be damn hard, and the place we get the cakes from make the best cakes i have ever had..but I wont be consuming any..

I say that now anyway..

vani said...

nice post mama! happy b-day to blondie..i'm NOT looking foward to the boys. i have 3 girls remember? oy..

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Vani,
I know...glad u have three girls not me..hehe

Choppzs said...

Happy Birthday Blondie!! Don't beat up to many guys right now, your mom may want grandbabies someday! lol

Karen K. said...

Happy Birthday Blondie! you don't know me but I am a myspace friend of your mom's. I know you are a special girl from what your mother writes about you and a special girl deserves a special Birthday! I hope all your Birthday wishes come true for you. God Bless!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Chopzzs,
hmm, not sure i want grandkids, that would mean i was old..hehe

Karen,
thanks, I will tell her u said happy birthday..pretty soon she will be home form school opening presents and eating shit loads of cake...

and i will be running on my treadmill as so i dont be tempted to eat any of that shit;)

Karen K. said...

If your not going to have a piece of cake, send it to me! hehe

Anonymous said...

Hey I'm new to this blogging thing...don't even have one set-up for myself yet...I got to your site purely by accident...don't know how...don't think I'll ever figure out how to get back...but I enjoyed the couple of post I read...one thing for sure...I'll agree that your birthday blondie is a doll...has anyone ever told you she looks like Meg Ryan...shoot for all I know you're Meg Ryan...and she looks just like you....just an observation...from a mom of a 27 year old brunette beauty...and one very handsome 24 year old stud muffin....just saying....love em while you have em...loads...they eventually marry and move away when they grow older...darn us for trying hard to further their education and enlighten them about our world...no really they are awesome...I see them often...and I loved being a mom all those many years...and am loving the empty nest...so love and live each day...yikes have you heard this before???? I always did...in my child rearing days...and thankfully I think I did!!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Karen,
I just oput the whole thing in file 13..hehe

Anny.
hello...as a matter of fact, I have been told numours tikes she looks like meg ryan..hehe

somedays kids grow too fast, some days not fast enough..

thanks for stopping by. and i hope you do find your way back here..