Sunday, February 18, 2007

Son of a bleepity bleep

Yea, so we took the kids roller skating Saturday. Before we leave I get the girls all bathed, cuz they were looking sorta like kids who may or may not live in a van down by the river.

Let me paint the picture for you...I got Boo dressed and set her on the sofa, she was putting her shoes on, and then starts screaming. This is what she is screaming to me..

"Momma, I gotta pee, oh momma I so sorry, don't be mad momma, I sorry"

The little shitface pissed all over my couch. Then she had the nerve to tell me it indeed was NOT her fault, rather it was the pees fault.

That is the second time in two weeks she pee-peed herself, I wonder if she has a bladder infection..

Its them damn bubble baths I let her take...Son of a bitch.

Want to know how you know you have no life and your weekends off have become a sad state of affairs? I will tell you how...

You know your a loser when at 9:49pm your laying on your bed, laptop in hand and watching Jungle Fever on HBO.

Son of a bitch again,

I was thinking about something. Something that has been on my mind since 7th grade. Every now and then I think about this day, yet I am not sure why...It just pops into my head sometimes, and I get all creeped out..

Let me paint this picture for you...

Its 7th grade...I am in gym class and the school has a nurse there to inspect all our backs for scoliosis. The nurse..(female nurse) takes us into the locker room one at a time and has us take our shirts and.....bras off..Then has us bend over so she can check our spine curvature.

Our gym teacher was a female. She was the first woman I ever seen that I just knew was a lesbian. She had a butch hair cut, gray, she was older...Very unattractive...Never any make up, never has her hair done....

She always gave me the creeps.

As we 11-12 year old girls are having some "private nekkid" time with the nurse, she is in the room watching us girls take our "delicates" off...Now she is not a nurse and has no business watching us bend over with our shirts off...

What teacher has the right to see a student nekkid?

I don't know why....But it has bugged me ever since...

I think today it would be considered some sort of kiddie predator thing..

She did not go watch the boys....Just us girls..

Have I been over reacting all these years? I don't think so.

son of a bitch yet one more time..

My son keeps asking my mom about puberty. He has been asking her things, things I don't want him asking me...cuz I would rather die then tell my son answers to these things..


when will I get hair.."Down there"

when will my voice change

why are girls so moody..

I would totally beat his ass if he asked me that one

He will be ten in a few weeks. He is too young....He should not need THE TALK till he is like 20..

Son of a bitch three times a lady
Then my Ipod....Yes PAT is giving me trouble. I wont even go into it, but applestillsucksasses.

Big fat juicy apples..

My living room smells like pre schooler piss, I am watching Jungle Fever, and I think my gym teacher was a perv.

How has your weekend been?

Bee Real


scolio js said...

well im working at 11:00 on sat night hows that!
i did have a date
we went
kids in tow to office depot
nuttin to get the lil lady ready for a romp than draggin 2 snotty nosed crumb crunchers through the fax machine section of office depot!

easy on us scoliosis havers
i got me some of it

maybe ur sunday will be better!

Fantastagirl said...


My sister came and picked up my kids to take them to my other's sisters house for the rest of the weekend.

Mr. Inc & I have the house to ourselves, went out for supper, and now I'm so tired will probably fall asleep before the news is over.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

slick willy,
oh, I love the office depot..

I have scolios too...really abd acctually, mr shaky makes fun of my oddly shaped is really messed up..suppose to have a rod put it long time ago, but my parents decided against it..

good thing we dont have kids togther, they would be cripped up little shits..

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well poo on you...

I did not want to hear of someone haveing a nice kid free weekend;)

js said...

did u find this out as the les teacher was ooogling your tits?
their spines would beso crooked their head would be 7 inches from their asses

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

slick willy,
acctually yes...a few days later my mom got a note from the school, and it was from the nurse telling her..

but my grandma has it it was no surprise..

I am a freak, I keep trying to tell u that.

convinced said...

sugar by the second post i read i was positive you were a freak.
I need no convincing

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

slick willy,
good, I dont wanna hide anything from u..hehe

JD's Rose said...

I don't know what it is like over there, but over here teacher aren't allowed anywhere near the locker rooms & it goes as far as they have to have a police officer present if they want to inspect a students bag if they think they are carrying drugs, so I don't think that it was ok for her to be there. Having said that, kids get checked for scoliosis over here with their bra on or a towel to cover the front of them. They take their top off, cover up, and then let the nurse know when she can come in, after they are covered. All sounds a bit suss to me.

Maybe you should get her checked if she has only started wetting her pants. Either that or just pump Ural into her just in case. Is that bad? Will it hurt her if she doesn't have anything wrong? Hmmm, maybe you should check it out before I do permanant damage to your poor child!

Don't worry Bossy. I was in bed by 11pm last night after two drinks. We are all sad!


JUST A MOM said...

Hey,, been a while sorry. BUT you know what I did with them there potty learnin kids sittin on my couch. I took of the cover of the cousion(mine has zippers) and slid a garbage plastic bag on then put the purty one back on. Yeah a bit crinkely but smells pretty nice only having to wash the cover.

Have a good one and nice to see ya again, been kinda busy at my place.

Karin said...

When I was in junior high we wore bathing suits for the scolios test. I still don't understand why they do it at school though it seems like that should be a doctors office kinda thing. As far as my weekend goes Brad worked all day today and tonight we went to a comedy club. Tomorrow we are going to take a sewing class cause we are rock stars.

Anonymous said...

We also had that test done at school in sixth grade...with our shirts off. They didn't even get parental mother hit the roof when she found out! I'd like to see something like that happen today...can we say LAWSUIT? And I also get creeped out to this day when I think about taking my shirt off in front of all of the girls in my class and two strange "nurses".

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

jd rose,
we did not get towels to drap over our under develped was creepy..

if she does it again i will take her in, I think she just gets to pre-occupied with what she is doing...she is lazy like her momma;)

Just a Mom,
well thats a good time i took a couchin cover off..(with my last couch) and washed it, and couldnt get the fucker back on...

at least u got swimsuits..we did not get that luxury..and its not the schools job i dont think...i agree, its a doctors job...not the pervs at school.

today that wouldnt happen i dont think..I know when my daughter is older, i am gonna make sure it dont happen to her...its bullshit..

my gym teacher, she was a perv...I am convinced...

this was a good 20 years ago...and it still pisses me off..

Neurotic1 said...

I remember her. She was a perv. They would not allow that crap today. I also remember when I was young. I was at a gymnastics over night thingy. Me and 2 other girls slept in the same bed with a teacher. I often think back on that and think what the hell! Odd thing is- he was the teacher everyone was accusing of making prank phone calls to young girls!

Btw- my night sounds likes yours. I was sitting in the bed, drinking a beer, and watching Juvies on Mtv by about 8:00. So much for a life!

Neurotic1 said...

I remember her. She was a perv. They would not allow that crap today. I also remember when I was young. I was at a gymnastics over night thingy. Me and 2 other girls slept in the same bed with a teacher. I often think back on that and think what the hell! Odd thing is- he was the teacher everyone was accusing of making prank phone calls to young girls!

Btw- my night sounds likes yours. I was sitting in the bed, drinking a beer, and watching Juvies on Mtv by about 8:00. So much for a life!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

they sure as hell would not let that fly today, youor right..

I know excatly who your talking about, he use to live right across the street from my grandma till he moved to the big house on main street...he alwyas gave me the heebie jeebies, but everyone wanted him for a teacher, my mom wouldnt allow it..

and when my son was in second grade i requested he NOT have him also..

damn...lots of perves are teachers, and its scarey as hell.

Blazer1234 said...

The scoliosis thing freaked me out in junior high too. I think everything about that is wrong. Shouldn't pediatricians be doing that crap instead of school nurses?
Oh, and after I hit my twenties and started having migraines, one Dr. told me I had mild scoliosis. WTF? Oh, school nurses are so damn reliable. Whatever.
Having your couch smell like pre-school piss, now that just sucks. I'm glad I have a leather couch. And Apple does suck. My nano was acting up today too. It refused to shut off. Stupid thing. After having a long talk with it and explaining that I would ship it back to the Apple-sucks-ass factory, it finally did what it was supposed to do. Hope Pat gets better.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I know, this is something a kids doc should be checking, not ur perv gym teacher and a nurse from the health dept..

If i had a leather couch, my cats and dog would have it torn to shreds..

Kendra Lynn said...

Hope your weekend improved. My preschooler just peed her pants, too...makes me so mad.
Ah well.
Hope all is well.

And hope the smell comes out of the couch.


Kelly said...

OMG, I remember that Bossy! Our school was really messed up! And yes, I think the PE teacher was a perv too! God, I hope my little one knows enough to say, "Hell no I'm not taking my shirt off!!!". What the hell were we thinking?! That's why we are so messed up now...blame it on our school system!

Laying in bed, watching TV and playing on the computer actually sounds like a great weekend to me!! I don't think I was able to watch five minutes of TV all weekend!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

seems our pre schoolers have something in common..hehe

I the time I wanted to say something, because I knew it was all wrong..But I didnt..and it has bothered me ever since, isnt that weird?

no way my girls will ever do way..damn..

Miss 1999 said...

Ok, I'm gonna have to admit, I was cracking up over your daughter blaming peeing on the couch on the pee. That's just too much *LOL*

I love to roller skate. I wish we had somewhere around here closer where we could skate.

You know, that nasty ol' nurse is just a sicko! I can't BELIEVE that she did that to ya'll! If that woman is around, I would SERIOUSLY report her. I mean, I don't know if she's still around kids or not, but that's just sick!

Hoping that today is going better for ya! *Hugs*

Britmum said...

OMG Bossy you are way too funny!!!

Kids say the funniest shit!!! Poor Boo!!

I love ya though xxxx

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Miss 1999,
it was the gym teacher, and she retired years it was 20 years ago, not sure i could report it now...oh well..

glad my tot pissing on my couch makes you giggle..hehe

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

haha...cuz are funnier then shit, thats for sure..

love ya right back;)

Choppzs said...

Sounds like things are going a little crazy over there!! lol

And the whole sex talk thing, holy crap, it must be in the air because it's over on this end too! Ick, and double ick! I hate this shit!!

And that whole gym teacher thing, if someone did that to my little girl I'd be beating some ass! Doesn't sound quite right to me!! Hope it didn't scar you for life!

Hails said...

okay your gym teacher = creepy. I can so understand why you are still creeped out.

Weekend was busy but terribly hot over here. Im so over the heat! bring on winter!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

sex talk sucks...with kids anyway,,haha

it musta scarred me, cuz I still remeber it..I wonder if I can sue for damages.

the gym teacher was a perv..I am not even sure if she is still alive or not, she was old 20 years ago..

u can have my winter, by all means;)

Brandy said...

My weekend started out going to listen to my son play his sax at the hockey game. Which btw he kicked ass! (video on my blog)

Then I had to work and that is about it!

Sounds like a blast right?

deni said...

My weekendsuckedass!!! working 36 hours in 3 days, then getting some kind of lung disorder possibly bronchitis or pleurisy combined with major sinus pain, and the worst part is I lost my voice so I can't even yell at my man or my kid, or even the dog if I wanted to.

Cliff Morrow said...

My internet has been out of service from Friday nite when the big wind hit and moved my dish until Monday morn. Life is good.

Working Mom said...

We were able to keep our bras on when we got tested. I really think she was ogling your tatas. Sorry.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I am gonna have to go check that out.

thats a lot of hours to work in a weekend..and plurasy just sucks..hehe

curse the wind for knocking out your internet..

working mom,
yup, the gym teacher oggled at all our under devloped, tata's...

good times..haha

Mrs. Diamond said...

i totally need to come here more often. your sarcasm is just what i need somedays to keep going. :)

Tomscockwhore said...

Don't worry about the boy asking crazy questions. My 3 year old girl and 4 year old boy both ask questions.

My girl the other day asked me when she was going to have "big boobies" like me, and could she see mine?

Then my boy, pinches his nipples and asks me when he is going to have "boobies" too. Evidently my kids are obsessed with "boobies".

AND - my girl went through this phase when she was having accidents (she's 3 1/2). It was just a matter of her holding it too long, that's all. No bladder infection, just a holder!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Mrs D,
well the door is always open...come on over anytime..hehe

Well, I think two of mine are obssed with the boobies too..

my little one is 3 1/2 too..and I do think she holds it too long too...she is alzy that way;)