Monday, February 12, 2007

Dream on

So, my weekend that was suppose to be spent in a nice Oceanside hotel, eating nice meals, and holding babies that don't belong to me...Was spent lingering on the sofa, making frequent trips to drain my colon and empty the contents of my stomach.

I spent countless hours laying on my back, complaining of the pain, whilst the kids yell and ask me for me shit, watching endless coverage of dead "celebrities" with talent I can not seem to figure out....And wishing that I had a toilet built into my sofa and my bed.

Then I spent Sunday making valentine boxes and supervising as the bees filled out their valentines cards for school. I had to make sure they hit everyone on the list, because when I was a kid, I was bad. I would intentionally leave valentines out for the kids I thought were ugly or scummy...I know, I am going right to hell.

But come on, I just couldn't bare giving Anna Jacobs or Bob Conners , or Rick Diamond ( he always had some wierd as herpes shit on his face, kinda creeped me out) valentine cards..So sue me...

and dont even tell me u have not done the same thing...there was at least one u "forgot' to give cards too..dont u lie to me..

I have a question for the ages...Why when your tiny tot pees herself, u put them right on the toilet?

Boo pissed herelf over the weekend cuz she was to lazy to come upstairs to the john. And what does Mr Shaky do? Puts her ass right on the tiolet..she JUST peed..I mean just now but yet, he sits her there. I am not sure what he was waiting for her to do...I am still perplexed by this practice, I know many of you do it..Your kid pees themselves, and u put them on the tiolet.Sorta like when your training cat, if it shits on the floor, u take its shit to the litter box, put the cat in it so it can smell its own shit inside this box full of gravel...That makes sense to some degree..

But when your dealing with a fully functioning three year old, who knows where her pee pee goes, it baffles the mind a bit...

that's like taking me to the toilet after I just puked all over myself...Makes no sense.

Its kinda like what Boo said to me the other day, she is a very wise baby..

I told her it was too cold to go outside...And you know what she said to me?

"but momma, we can wear coats"

Just like her telling her daddy she already peed when he sits her ass on the john..

daddy, I already went pee pee..See, my pants day are wet daddy

So not only did I just waste $350.00 bucks this weekend....But had to be witness to many retarded things..

Like right now I am witnessing my son with his head in a basket that my cat is laying in, and he is letting the cat lick the back of his head..

Who does that?

damn retards, that's who

bee real


aatank said...

I hope I was not one of those kids left off your list. I will tellyou that Bob Conners is still a little weird, but he would do anything for you. He was in my younger brothers wedding last year and he has grown up a lot. I think when he was younger it was a way to deal with his dad's stroke.

Hope you feel better soon. I will be working on Valentine's Monday night with 4 children and a bottle of rum.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

nope, I listed the ones I alwyas left out..hehe..

I have not even seen ole Bob since school, I am not even sure I would know him if I seen him.

I got all my valentines done, but I could still go for a bottle of rum.

Miss 1999 said...

Girl, you crack me up! Sorry to hear that none of the food agreed with ya, though. I TOTALLY know how that feels. Nothing usually likes me, either.

You know, I don't understand why people put their chitlin's on the toilet right after they pee, either. That always cracks me up!

I so remember not making out valentine's for people I didn't like, either, but my Momma always made me, *sighs*

Cliff Morrow said...

You need to somehow gain control of the household BB.
Am I getting a Valentine from you or am I one of the ugly kids?
I found out last year that it ISN'T the thought that counts.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Miss 1999,
well I had a horrid bout of the stomach flu...and had to miss my trip to the east coast..fucking disapointment..

and yes, whast the deal with putting them on john AFTER they pee?..damn, glad someone else sees the crazy in that;)

I am slowly gaining control Cliff..

and you get a valentine for sure..and your right, its never the thought that counts, that only applies to kids younger then 10..

Anonymous said...

I hope you are not sending that crap you have to everyone instead of valentine cards! Tell Boo Bee she is getting smarter everyday. Just gotta love those little bees! LOL

Princess said...

I dont remember us doing anything for Valentines Day at primary school. In high school, we used to give out roses. Not me tho, i just used to recieve them! :P

I hope you feel better Bossy!! Get some drugs into ya!


deni said...

You had the CRUD, omg, what an awful thing, it spread here like wildfire, work was a nightmare, all those old people shitting and puking.

Sorry you missed your trip, and hope you are feeling better.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well, if my germs accidentally sneak into the boxes or the cards. its just Gods will;)

here we do valentines through out school, make boxes , fill out valentines..its high school where we dont give a shit anymore..haha

yup, i am a CRUd wasnt pretty either..

Neurotic1 said...

I never missed anyone on valentine's day I would just give the kids I liked extra candy. The last few times I saw Anna she thought we were long lost best friends. Next time I'll be sure to tell her how much you missed her!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I find it hard to beilve u didnt leave one out..come on now..

Last time I saw anna she was the same way...asking if me and mr shaky were still married..i told her, um....look at me..( i was knocked up for boo)...she told me she wasnt sure if i was having a baby with someone else...

like all my babies have differnt daddies or something...


Brandy said...

Nope I never missed anyone for Valentine cards. But I am the one of the ones who didnt get them sometimes. Oh well shit happens!LOL

Hope you are feeling better now!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

now I find that hard to beilve..I bet your box was overflowing..

if my mom woulda known that I skipped some, she woulda been pissed right off..

but there were only like 3 i would skip, out of 100 some kids, so thats not bad..hehe

Raggedy said...

I really enjoy my visits here.
You are so funny!
The same funny stuff goes on here.
I hope you are feeling better!

Have a wonderful day!
(=':'=) hugs
(")_ (")Š from
the Cool Raggedy one

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

holy crap, I am glad I am not the only one who deals with crazy shit..I like hearing I am not alone..hehe

Peanutt said...

Oh, how wonderful that you spent your weekend like that, while you laid there in pain thinking about how you need a vacation!

Choppzs said...

Uh yah, I feel your pain. I have stuff coming out of every known hole in the woman's body!

Oh and Valentines suck, I make my kid do it herself, screw that!! lol

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

yes, i was dreaming of my freakikng vaction i life sucks ass sometimes.

well, they do their own card making..i WONT do that now that they both can read and write, but I do like making the boxes, so I do most of that..haha