Friday, April 21, 2006

When doves cry

So I thought I better post. I don't want anyone else to worry anymore..Thank you for your emails.

Ok, I am dealing with a few situations here at the hive. First up is Mr Shaky Pants and his condtion. The doctor is wanting to test him for Huntington's Diease, as everything else is coming back normal. She told him that they had to test for everything else first, because the test is so expensive, they have to rule everything else out..And they have..You would get a good belly laugh at the crap they have tested him for..

So the only way you can get this diease is to have been inherited it. Now Mr Shaky Pants knows nothing about his dads family..They are all dead..( his dad is not dead, but he knows nothing about anyone or how or why they all died..) so the docs are wondering if maybe they all died from this, and now Mr shaky pants has had it handed down to him..

which means if he has it, then there is more than a 50/50 chance all the bees could have it as well, which means Bossy will be alone..And with no grandkids..Hell I will find another hubby..They are a dime a dozen, but he will go through a very rigorous physical and the proper blood work before I will even find out his dang name.

And if he Mr Shaky Pants does have it, I will be forever changed, I will become his caregiver, (I mean I will find a good home for him..)

I have never thought about anything ever happening to him, while we are young anyway..I always had it in the back of my mind that he would lose his mind before I did, but not till we were old and he was gray..

Then we have to deal with knowing that the medical bills will be coming in..Sure the insurance is covering their part..But he has had some very expensive things done..One bill we got was for 13,000 for only a handful of tests...I cant imagine what it will be when they all come in.

Plus the cost of all his meds they have had him try..Again some were only small co-pays, some were larger...But it all adds up..

Then our house we own in Michigan, the renters can only afford 300 bucks a month,which is not even half of the payment...So we are having to pick up the rest of the amount on that..I wish that damn house would burn or sell...

The 6 months we had to pay for everything at both houses really put a damper in the ole green coming in...And it still is, because we are still forking over half of the payment.

And when we were paying for both homes, it really got us behind. If that house would sell or burn to the ground with only ashes left, that burden would be gone..But hence, this has not happened yet.

So this is what I am dealing with, the potential death of my whole family, and then all the other crap that everyone deals with. The test has not been done yet, we are waiting for them to call, and they haven't yet which is pissing me off even more..Then it will be weeks to even a month before it comes back. I wont rest easy till it comes back ok.

And I hate my job. I need to go finish my degree in microbiology. But for the last 6 years I have chosen to be home with the bees..But it might turn ot to be the best thing I could of done. Now I want to be around them more...I only have about a year and half to go, so I will try and start this fall.

I got this dang job to get out and have some fun, but its doing the total opposite to me.It is clear to me I am not a people person. I always knew it. That's why I was getting a degree in microboiolgy..

So these are the little things weighing on my tiny nut of a brain..

plus I am PMSing....Cant get much better than that folks , can it?

32 comments:

its just ME said...

Bless your heart!! I'm sorry about Mr Shaky!!

ummmm, the MI house........grease fire!! Its the ONLY thing they can't prove to be accidental or on purpose ;o)
oh course you didn't hear that from me tho.........*whistles while walking away*

Kendra Lynn said...

Oh man. I am depressed just reading about your woes.
I still want your address okay?
And I'm still praying.
You never know what God can do. I've seen some amazing things, and I know that this situation could turn around and be fine.
Please take care of yourself...go work out and take a bubble bath or whatever makes you feel better.

I'm here if you need me.

Sincerely,
Kendra

Gidget said...

Oh my goodness! What a time you are having. I will be praying for Mr. Shaky! And you! In the mean time...try to relax...hug your kids...and stay away from matches!
Teresa

eyes_only4him said...

litlsassy20,
grease fire?..OMG..that makes perfect sence..only I dont live anywhere near it, and there is a family living in it..damn it!!

shal I call you "pyro sassy"

kendra,
sorry to depress you, I didnt mean too..it just is what it is for me right now..I hope God has a plan becuase I am out of them..

thanks for being there and for your prayers;)

thegreen family,
thank you for the prayers, and thank you for stopping by, please come again, it isnt always this depressing, I promise:)

Granny said...

Echoing what I've said before.

I'll be thinking about you.

Anonymous Fat Blogger said...

Aw, poor Bossy! I feel for you, I really do!! I didn't get a chance to email you back yet, but I will. I'm hoping everything works out for hubby and maybe it's just something that's hard to diagnose and not the Huntington's.

I know how the hard it can be when those medical bills start rolling in. Even with insurance, it bites big time!

Everything will work out, you'll see!

pack of 2 said...

Sorry you have so much going on right now!

We hope things settle down for you very soon.

FYI~ All people who works with the public will eventually hate people....they drain the life out of you....TRUST ME!!!

Shangie

Karin said...

I am so sorry that everything is going topsy turvey right now. I am not sure if this helps or not but my brothers house burned down cause one of the kids left a flashlight on in bed and it got so hot it caught fire. Nobody would expect that as arson. Of course you would have to keep shipping your tenants cheap flashlights to try to get them to leave them on.

In other news I hate just about everyone which is why I no longer work with the public. I also hate driving so I stay within a few miles of home, so you aren't alone in hating people.

If the hubs is positive will they test the bees now or will they play a wait and see kind of thing? ANyway take care and I will keep praying for you guys and for really bad lightning that only hits your old house.

Fantastagirl said...

OH that just sucks - doesn't it???

Here's what I am hoping for - that one of the labs that did the lesser worry type tests decides they made a mistake and he has that - and if he takes X he will be all better... (I live in a fantasy world leave me alone)

The renter in Michigan inherit money - and decide to give you your asking price for the house.

That for some strange reason you decide to play the lotto and win - the jackpot.

and that you discover you just need one more class for your degree and that you are offered a great job in the south - so you can be nice and warm....

I am working on a spell to make it all happen - but you know - I an new to this superhero stuff - and I might mess it up....

Sending you big big hugs, an extra smile for when you don't want to, and I'll even pray for you (and I don't do that very often...so you know I think alot of you!!)

Me said...

I'm so sorry that things are so poopy for you right now. Keep your chin up honey! Big hugs!

eyes_only4him said...

granny,
I know..and thank you much:)

denise,
dont worry bout emailing me back, I have not been good at returing them in the last day anyway..thank you for you thoughts though..and i sure hope it all works out:)

shangie,
i have grown to realize I hate people..and it scares me..

boy I hope things settle down too, here hoping anyway:)

karin,
now you just freaked mr shaky pants about the flashlights..blondie bee and butch bee sometimes take them to bed too read..haha....

if it comes back postive i will have them tested..i need to know, so I can tell them when they are older, so they dont have kids..that would just be bad..really bad..

tutu,
thank you..things are just yucky now, and I hate yucky..

fanstagirl,
now your talking...i like your thinking..and gosh..winning the lotto..nice..i am so gonna play now..

and thank you for the prayer..it means the owrld to me sister:)

eyes_only4him said...

beth,
that is poopy with a capitol P..heehee..thank you sweety:)

Michele_3 said...

Gosh girl, I wish I was there to give you a huge Hug!
Hang in there & stay strong.. Things will work out, don't let it all get you down to bad(I know, not easy)
i'm sending you a bunch of good vibes for a better day okay- Catch them! LOL!
Take care as always-
M

Foxy said...

bossy- so sorry to hear about all this. i pray that everything works out for you and your family. keep your head up and keep smiling!

eyes_only4him said...

michele,
thank you my dear..and i am catching all of them:)

vani,
thank you my dear..i am sure it will all work out..i hope anyway:)

Peggy said...

Things have to get better you have used up all your bad luck! hang in there so you can enjoy the good times and good luck ahead... its right around the corner... honest I can see it!

Jamie Dawn said...

Number One: Husbands are NOT a dime a dozen. I know you don't mean that. I know that your tough talk helps you deal with all this pressure, but you love your hubby and want him to get well.

Number Two: I was tested for some scary things to find the cause of my voice disorder, brain tumors, Parkinson's, Myesthenia Gravis, and all came back negative. I'm hoping with all my heart that your hubby does not have Huntington's.

Number Three: Your honesty about what you are facing is a blessing to others. You may not think so, but by sharing what is happening, you make others realize how precious each day is with one's family, and how things can turn from good to bad on a dime. This makes us all enjoy the good and know that bad things happen to all of us on various levels.

Number Four: You are in the thoughts and prayers of your blog friends. You may not like people very much face to face, but then that makes blog communication a way for you to receive some no-body-contact hugs, which is the way it seems you prefer it anyway. So, I'm hugging you and your family right this moment.

Meow (aka Connie) said...

You know, as much as blogging is great for being anonymous, and not having to physically face people, I really wish I could be there for you right now and give you a big hug, and help with whatever I could. I really feel sad for what you are going through, and wish there were something I could do to make it easier, but know that isn't possible ... it is something you as a family need to face together. Hopefully, though, it won't be Huntingtons, and hubby starts getting better "just like that". This is just a little hiccup in the journey through life, and things will be better soon. I know they will.
Take care, many hugs, Meow xx

Anne Coleman said...

Well, now that I've had a good cry this morning...(((((((HUGE HUGS))))))

I wish I were there to help out (or at least off to visit dad so I could torch your house ;o)

I'll be praying for you guys, hug the babies and Mr Shaky if you can.

eyes_only4him said...

peggy,
I sure hope so..thank you for encourgement:)

jamie,
i know they arent a dime a dozen, maybe a qaureter..haha..

thank you though..I cant handle this much stress at one time, can you tell?

its not that I dont like people, I do..its just I dont like having to wait on them:)..thank you for your hug:)

meow,
thank you sweety..and I sure hope this is just small hiccup..and I wish for it to be over now:)

gangahar,
thank you very much..

eyes_only4him said...

ann,
I didnt want anyone to cry for petes sake...

thank you though, and i would rather you torch the house..mmkay?..heehee

Anonymous said...

Okay, you now know the old house can be dealt with in several ways. You also know husbands don't grow on trees. Those puppies are too hard to break in! No way in heck am I replacing mine if Bush manages to kill him off.

Already told you it's not allowed to be Huntington's. Someone in hubby's family has to have a clue as to cause of death of some of the immediate family member. Time for a little research. It would be hard to miss a whole lota shakin goin on!

Unless you are going to miss your Target discount too much, quit before you don't even want to shop there. Imagine the horror! Some of us just aren't meant to be people persons.

Try to have a great weekend. Take care!

eyes_only4him said...

tammy,
well..they all died off, and no one knows anything about them..its weird..but his dad is a useless peice of dog crap, but thats beside the point..

i work all day today..and monday, maybe we can talk tuesday..

anna,
i like hearing that too..but I hope its true!!..thank you..

Anonymous said...

Your FIL is clueless as to what happened to his family?! I don't even know what to think.

Since you have to work today - have a nice day! Okay, that was beyond mean. Try to have fun and meet a new friend in person - not just on the computer!

Take care of yourself and your very sweet family.

Kendra Lynn said...

I hope that today will be a much better day for you...and that you will feel peaceful and happy.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kendra

Deb said...

Oh…my…GAWD! Wait for the test results to come back before you put yourself through the torture you just endured while writing this all. I am so sorry that you’re going through this. I know you make light of it—and I know how much it has to be weighing on your mind—but you need to know that everything works out---he may not have this disease and your family may be okay as well. Remember, sometimes doctors will say, “Oh you have only one week to live…” as they did with my father. Ten years later, he’s up and around—working and doing more things than I do.

Sometimes God puts us in a situation like unemployment for a reason. It is not a bad thing to not work and take care of things at home like kids, your home, etc…. There’s that stigma of ‘no work’---bad bad bad… Just because a ‘paying job’ seems to be called “work”----a job can be anything you “do” in life. You have a purpose---and your family is grateful for you being there.

Sorry I’m rambling on, but I can feel your vibes through this post and I just want to let you know---you need to calm yourself, be still, and let God handle everything.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

Anonymous said...

please go find a different job!! just like hubbys, they are a dime a dozen. go get some housecleaning jobs. just like me, you can listen to your ipod, and no one will bother you. and its way better money than that one,

now. here is a serious thing. listen to me, i am your ELDER. please set up a paypal account, so that those who want to help you can? we are here, we are real. we are your friends. and if there is a way to help, it is money. so think about it. K?

"become his caregiver, (I mean I will find a good home for him..)" this was my favorite line. heehee

eyes_only4him said...

tammy,
well I think they all kinda died when he was younger..or maybe he killed them all, not sure:)

LoB,
wow bio med..cool..you must be smart like me:)..I need to finish so I can sit in a lab all day and not have to talk to anyone..heehee

kendra,
well today was a tad better, but still not good..but thank you for everything:)


deb,
wow,you make too much sence sometimes..I know I shouldnt worry about all of this right now, but how can I not?..I know docotrs dont know everything, but when they have come up with nothing so far..makes me pissy..

sometimes I think getting a job to get out of the house was a bad idea..becuase right now I just want to be home..

thank you for your good thoughts and your prayers..it means a lot to me..

suzie,
paypal?..I think not..now for my plastic surgery fund maybe..It isnt all that bad..its just it could get bad when the medical stuff starts coming in..but it will all work out..I may win the lotto, you never know..and if I do..I will send a bit to Idaho for my best suzie over there:)

Unknown said...

Oh my word, I'd be out of my mind with worry but I do have a panic disorder, so it doesn't take much. But you really do have a lot to deal with. I am so sorry.

I will pray for you guys every day. (hugs)

Anonymous said...

wow

I'm so sorry

Can you believe doctors get paid so much to "practice" medicine?

Good grief!

Are the renters taking care of the place or making it harder to sell?

We went through the same thing when we moved back here and left our house in Clinton.

Get through the medical stuff first, think positive thoughts that it will be something NOT so serious.

Bills...eh they will take miniscule payments.

Money comes and goes, the health should be your first priority!

Geeky Dragon Girl said...

I am so sorry...I know that at this time that means nothing to you.But God doesnt give us more than we can bare. Hang on and everything will work for the best.

mal said...

Gads girl! I understand the major downer that comes from passing on bad genetics. I sure hope it works out