Tuesday, April 25, 2006

lovin every minute of it

Well I finally have a freakin day off of work from my "part time" job I got to have a freakin social life. Big mistake. Having a social life is highly over rated people.

I realized it has been a few months since I have updated on my mid -life crisis. I know some of you may be wondering how that is going. To tell you the truth, it doesn't bother me anymore knowing I am in mid life. My birthday is next week..I will be 31..So I will die when I am a tad over 60..I am cool with that. I just need to get my boob job and my sports car,have an affair with a 18 year old boy, and get a Brazilian wax...Then I should be all set.

If you take a good look at your life, and really analyze it, you will realize what you think is important at this moment, really is not. Right now the most important thing for me is to get a boob job and maybe some lipo over the thighs. Worrying about Mr shaky pants medical bills is all for not.

Does anyone else want to kick Elmo in the face with a golf shoe?

anyhoo, Mr shaky pants has his genetic testing done today. Wont be back for weeks. So in the mean time I have to worry about if Butch Bee is showcasing the juvenile form of Huntington..( he sometimes has out burst of not so good behavior) or if he is just mentally retarded. I am hoping he is mentally retarded.

this boy will be in the 4th grade next year. He is so very smart..So he is a high functioning retard.

ok, I do not want any emails telling me that making fun of mentally challenged people is bad. I know it is..I am not making fun of anyone...If your insulted..To damn bad...He is my kid so I can call him a retard...mmkay?

I ate about 4 handfuls of M&M's last night. I do not like that kind of candy, and I don't much care for chocolate. I ran an extra mile on the treadmill, so its all good..Right?

I am going to spend some of Tuesday working on my book. I have not had the time nor the ambition to really write the last few weeks. But it has given me some ideas for a new book. I have lots to do.

Instead of rambling anymore about pointless crap, I will leave you now.

Ok, someone get me a dang golf shoe...Or a damn machete..

Bee Real


just_tammy said...

Nice to know some one else is in the same mood I'm in! It's amazing how stress and insanity are so entertaining. I've had people rolling when they have dared to ask how my day's been. Yep, today has been hysterical. Maybe I'll fill you in tomorrow so you can pee your pants at my expense.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

if i pee my pants thats just more laundry for me to do my dear..think about that will ya..

i should be home , but i will be gone for 2 hours, going on a field trip with blondie bee to the hosptial..are you jelous?

Fantastagirl said...

Going to the hospital isn't a field trip... unless of course the whole class is going....

It's is nice to know that I am not the only person having days like this.

mal said...

Rainbow Bright was the scourge our childrens programs...I got to the point of rooting for the evil meanie...it did not help at all

31 is mid life crisis? eeessshh, just wait til you hit 51, I still want the boob job and some lipo too...oh and did I mention a face lift? and how bout a tummy tuck?....HECK with it! they ought to have a show for us old broads along the lines of "Pimp my Ride"!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

yup,the whole class is going..I am not just taking her up for a looksy..hehe..so your having one of them days too huh..maybe we should talk:)

I use to LOVE rainbow bright. I still have my doll, and now I make my girls play with her..they hate her:(

by the time i am 51, I will already have my funral plans bought and paid for..face lift, I forgot about that..I want to look for my "viewing" at the funral home:)

vani said...

i'm with you on the lipo and the affair! i guess i'd need to get the lipo first though to get anybody other than my husband to look at me again..lol

mal said...

Vani, your husband looks at you? Gawd, can you train mine?

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

amen sista...I never thougth about that:)

are you still on?..i tried to type you back but my messenger is crapping up on me..its not my day, not my day at all..

Working Mom said...

I'm still trying to ignore my midlife crisis....I'm not doing too well though...LOL I'll be 32 next month and it sucks big time. I'd settle for having an affair with a hot 28 year old though....at 18 you may still have to change their diaper ;)

I actually like Elmo, but then again, I don't stay home and have to put up with him all day either ;)

Kendra Lynn said...

Thankfully I haven't hit a midlife crisis yet....maybe I'll get lucky and it will bypass me.
I'm glad you get a day off...and you get to spend part of it at the hospital! how grand.
Have fun.
Take care.


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

dont ignore it, you need to embrace it my dear:)..at 18 they are still young enough to learn new tricks...and dont get out of breath that fast;)

well your still too young to worry about that..maybe yourrs will hit at the right time, like by 50:)

angel, jr. said...

You ran an extra mile because you ate a handful of M&M's? I would have to run for 24/7 with all the junk I've been eating lately.

pack of 2 said...

Wow, you are just pissed at Elmo huh...LOL!

GAWD...I can't imagine a braz. wax..too painful. I watched a friend get one once...LOL..WHAT? I was curious!!!...it scared the crap outta me..NO THANK YOU!

You knock yourself out though:)


Granny said...

Still waiting for my mid-life crisis. Should happen any day now that I'm 68 instead of 67.

Krystal said...

A Brazilian wax is a BAD idea. I mean TRULY BAD IDEA.

I love Elmo. I'd like to take a baseball to any of the TeleTubbies though.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well..I realize 30 miles would of been more like it, but I am lazy:)

well..I didnt say I was going to get one today..heehee..I have a feeling that would be worse than birthing 3 kids;)

well either your going to live a long life, or you have forgot about your crisis you had in your 30's..tee-hee

hmm, you sound like you are speaking from first hand expericne..

i didnt think the telletubbies were still on anymore..geesh, i am way outta it;)

Ju said...

I always look at my life and realize that things that really mattered to me before, was nothing to be mattered about (if that makes any sense...LOL). Anyway, enjoy your day off. Go out and get some sun!

Michele_3 said...

no mid-life crisis yet..
But alot of breakdowns before that, I'm 34-maybe mine's still coming...
don't stress too much, there are good-days ahead sweetie!

Felecia said...

Wow - the rural portions of Minnesota must be much racier than in my neck of the metropolitan woods... I can't think of an occassion were I might need a braz wax! (You farm gals really go wild, don't ya?)

(I'll pause a moment while you recover from being called a MN farm girl...)

Oh - I peeked at yesterday's post and must say that if you do only one thing before your old age takes you, get that black & white shot of Butch Bee blown up and framed. It's a real keeper, even if he does ride a short bus...

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

it makes perfect sence my dear:)

yours is still coming..mine was just early thats all..haha

ok, first of all dont call me a MN anything..I am a southern belle who will someday have her own plantation of cotton and sunflowres..mmkay?...

you like the shot of him?..I was gonna write something about riding on the short bus, but i figured if he ever read this..his feelings would be hurt, I mean I already called him he retard..haha

Choppzs said...

I don't have a golf shoe, but I have my husband's monster size steel toe military boots?? Will that work?

Oh and just so you don't feel alone, I to sometimes feel my daughter is retarded!! lol I think it's just this age. She came home last night with 53 wrong on a practice state testing paper. Her teacher had the gull to write "She doesn't get enough help at home" on the top. BULLSHIT!! She doesn't get enough help at school evidentally if she is getting that many wrong and doesn't know how to do the shit!! And my husband wrote that on there as a return note! lol sorry, had to rant about that for a moment!! Your blog not mine!! lol

Hope you guys find out about the Mr. soon and can get some peace of mind. Good luck with the testing!

d said...

I just saw Sesame Street Live on Friday - 90 minutes of Elmo - $50 for 2 tickets, $36 for shitty souveniers, $6 for stale popcorn - YES I WANT TO KICK ELMO IN THE FACE WITH A GOLF SHOE - AND THE REST 'EM TOO!

Deep breath.

You are so damn funny - I hope you're writing a comedy.

Krystal said...

No, I have never had a Brazilian wax. But I don't need to stick a blazing hot nail into my eye to know it's a bad idea.

Let's consider the Brazilian wax, shall we?

Hot wax completely surrounding your very delicate and highly sensitive vajayjay. As it cools, the hair is encrusted inside of the wax. Then some sadistic bitch RIPS the wax with the embeddle hair off yanking hundreds of hairs out AT ONE TIME frequently taking with it a thin layer of the skin to which the hair was previously attached.

Nope. It's not rocket science.

It. Is. A. Bad. Idea.

'nough said.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

that would piss me off too..sometimes teachers want the parents to do the teaching for them..and your hubbys shoe will do just fine~!!

so, your telling me you had a clear shot of elmo and you didnt take it?..I have nothing more to say to you now!!

yes, yes...I know...but it would look well maintained right?..ok, maybe it is a bad idea..

Jamie Dawn said...

So.... WHY did you eat M&M's that you don't like???

My son turns 16 tomorrow. STAY AWAY from him!
I realize you said 18 year old, but I'm just being safe in case you lower your standard.

Your post made me laugh. It really had some funny stuff in it. You need to be pissed off more often when you are writing.

Mar said...

...I love M&M's!!

Meow said...

Elmo .... grrrr, when he giggles and wriggles it is sooooo irritating.
Hope you find your way through your mid-life crisis ... goodness girl, you are only 30 ... this shouldn't be happening for years yet.
Hope all goes well with Mr Shaky Pants.
Take care, Meow

Krystal said...

What part will look good? The blistered skin that was scalded by the hot wax?

No, can't be that...

The dried, bloody, crusty scab on areas where skin layers were ripped off?

No, can't imagine that would be it either...

I'VE GOT IT! It's must me the irritating rash left behind as a result of rushlessly ripping out the hair. Yeah, that must be the good looking part.

I bet the combination of the three looks really SEXY.

Of course you'll be closed for business. He can look, but he can't took. Hell, you'll hardly be able to walk.

And pissing, that'll be a hoot and a hollar. You'll just wanna do that in the shower with the cool water running.

I have friends who have been this route before. I'm trying to save you from an insidious hell.

Trust me, save your money and have it all lazered off the way you want it done. It won't be nearly as bad, and it last forever, instead of just a few days.

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