Monday, September 10, 2007

whatever u do, no boobs

I am going to talk about a few things today. I may run off topic, or hell, even flat out make no sense along this post...and so I apologize in advance for any turmoil I may or may not cause.






First of all, I have made mention before about here in this state they say weird shit or even pronounce shit wrong...for example.















*they say Awunt..for aunt..Where I am from u say it like the bug...they don't..I hate it.















* Phy-Ed..pronounced FYE ed...where I come from we call it PHYS ED..because holy shit, it stands for Physical education, and that shit makes sense..what the hell is FYE ed? I have no damn clue.















* and then that brings me to Karaoke. They pronounce Ka ROW-Kee. Where as we say KARE E O KEE..see what I mean again?















they are stupid here.





That also brings me to what I did this weekend. This hoe sang karaoke all Saturday night. The damn sad part is, after a while every time it was my turn and they guy called my name the whole bar started cheering.















Also, the owners wife came up to me in the ladies room to tell me they would be back in two weeks, and they want me to be here.















To which I replied..



For sure bitches.





It does not matter that I could barely walk up to the stage, I still rocked it.















Here is a sample of some of the songs I sang, um butchered




*Benny and the Jets by Elton John


*I hate myself for loving you By Joan Jett


*I cant Dance by Phil Collins




*Someone saved my life tonight by Elton John



* When Doves Cry by Prince









*Bust a move by Young MC

*Funky Cold Mednia by tone Loc


*Everything She wants by WHAM!



*Hotel California by The Eagles.



See..thats just a sampling..and I seemed to have had the Karaoke Gods shining down on me that night..I had a whole table of strangers wanting to dance with me, and come on the dance floor every time I belted out a tune.















I may start my own fan club...












Here are some pics from the night..

























I know, after my last boobie fiasco on the world wide web I promised never to show them.





I lied.
































This is a clean shot..no boobs.































































This here, is called..rocking the f*cking house down..






















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I keep telling you people I need to start my own chick band...See how damn good I look on the stage? I can not believe the boys in Def Leppard let me walk away assholes.





So I came stumbling home at 2:30am, with bag of Funyouns in tow and a half dranked bottle of diet coke.






Not sure what happen after that.




Then Mr Shaky woke me up early for church.




Amen.





~
Ok, now I am on to another issue. My Gol-damn unemployment.






Saturday afternoon..after opening this letter, my neighbor and I, (shown above, she also got shit canned, ) decided we needed to go out for a good drunker.






We both got these letters telling us our employer is NOW fighting our unemployment and on Sept 27th the judge will be calling us for a tele conference to defend our case.





WTF?





They told us on the day they fired our asses that we could go file for unemployment.


Mind you I was only cleared for payment two weeks ago..






Why do they bother sending you any damn money unless it is agreed upon both sides?





Because, those asshats expect us to pay back ALL the money they have given us, if the judge finds our former employers to be right.





PLUS, up until our call, we have to keep calling in to get our money..WE HAVE TO.

Plus we wont know till 20 days AFTER the phone call what the decision is.




Moments like these I sorta wish that kidnapping and gang beatings were legal.



because I would lay those mother truckers out flat.





sonofabitch.






You do not even wanna know what happen Friday.



It has to do with me, one of my friends up above, and my hubby.



and a bar..






That is all I will say.




22 comments:

nora said...

I'll love to be in your band.
You'll be the front woman, of course.
And, since I don't have much of a 'front'...maybe the band should be called something like "Flip Flop Mama and the A-cups"

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Nora,
well, your in then:)

Halfmexican Mama said...

Im sure you rocked! You go girl!! you so have to email me the 411 about you, Shaky and the friend...and where the hell is Dillyweed?? Does Fridays event have something to do with her???huh huh?? tell me!!!! I GOTTA KNOW!!!

Halfmexican Mama said...

I SOOOO CANT BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY PUT YOUR CLEAVAGE ON HERE!! ITS NOT LIKE YOU, YOU ARE SCARING ME.

Katie said...

You're still getting fucked on your unemployment? That sucks! Good luck dealing with them.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

HHM,
Nope, Has nothing to do with Dilleyweed...she was at one of the places we went to..but then left to meet her boytoy..

I have showed cleavage on here before..in June it musta been...I am a tramp, sorry:)

Katie,
yes..they are fucking with us...fuckers.

1 plus twins said...

oh man i would have loved to see you sing. that had to be a hoot. when i saw the boob title i thought oh here she goes again showing us her boobs but reading further and seeing that your employer is now fighting the unemployement i don't blame you! shit you should have mooned us all!! lol that is a crock of shit one that they are fighting it and two now it will be even longer before you get the next check. bullshit i tell you!! you deserved that night out big time!!

ok i want to hear about friday!!

Wethyb said...

If I could sing worth a damn or had any musical talent, I'd be get up there w/ ya in a heartbeat :)

As for unemployment...yes, yes, they screw you any way they can. My friend was on it for a few mos collecting before the ex-employer tried to counter it. They lost tho...bitches.

Oh and pronouncing the shit weird--I love me some yoopers, but they say shit the same way. Like how was say sauna (SAW-NA), they say SOW (rhyming with NOW)-NA. Very strange indeed.

Tom said...

You've done it again! Really good shots and you have a good stage presence! I want to go there when I visit my friends in november!
Speaking of accents...I was born and raised in Boston and Cape Cod. You can imagine my accent. When I lived out there, people would comment on it all the time. It was really aggravating. Like I was a $#%^^# trained monkey..asking me to say pahk the cahh..
You know, sounds like your old company has "creative" bookkeeping...any good labor judge will see that....

Flip Flop Goddess said...

1 pluw twins,
no one wants to see my boobs are my ass, I can garentee that.

Nothing real;ly happen Friday, thats whats so funny..seeing ole Shaky in a bar was very amusing.


WethyB,
U can join ny band anyway..I dont care if u dont know how to whilste.

Tom,
some floks here tell me I have a Michigan accent...I tell them there is NO such thing as a Michigan Accent.

KrazyMom said...

Sounds like a good time was had by all!

Best of luck on your unemployement issue. What jerks! I think you should see an attourney and fight this case due to how you were let go too!

aatank said...

The southerner's say MI people have an accent too. I will say we like to drink pop not soda.

Nice pictures! Did your lungs hurt the next day from all of that singing, and did you do a stand up routine?

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Krazymom,
well, they are fuckers..

I am not going to waste money on an attorney..I am just going to fight it out with the Unemployment judge.

Aatank,
I know...how do we have an accent?..makes no sence..but I have always said soda..since I was a kid.

No, my lungs held out pretty well.

No stand up, it was kareoke..

but maybe next time;)

patti_cake said...

Okay you are not allowed to tease us and then hold back. Must know about friend/hubby/drunk!

I can't believe those asshats are now wanting to fight your unemploymnt. Wait. Yes I can. Asshats.
I know you would be the funnest of the fun singing karoke!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Patti Cake,
the only thing about Friday was the whole damn night was funny..my hubby has never set foot into a bar ever..he looked outta place..very funny..

And yes, I bring fun the bars I am in..haha

Neurotic1 said...

So Mr. Shaky was in the bar and we don't get cleavage shots of him? Looks like you had a ball! They say the whole aunt thing wrong down here! Crazy biotches! I have been told before that I have a New York accent~huh? I'm not even from there morons!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

N1,
well, he didnt go the night we had booby shots, he went Friday and all this went down Saturday night;)

I know..what the hell..do they say Awant there too?..hate that shit..

and how do we have accents?..we lived in MICHIGAN for crying out loud..shoot.

Scarlet said...

"For sure, bitches!" What a great reply!

I do karaoke occasionally and love it. I love all that 'ol time rock 'n roll. You no doubt, brought down the house!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

ti**,
I was going to sing "i think we're alone now" and dedicate it to u..haha

and I did rock the house down;)

Cheeky said...

"they are stupid here" - AMEN SISTA!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Cheeky,
thanks for backing me up on this one;)

Jamie Dawn said...

Sing, girlie, sing!!

FYE-Ed??!!
That's just plain WRONG!!

You are surrounded by morons. Try and stay sane, if you can.