My eldest daughter told me something terrifying today.
This is her, pretty much word for word.
There is this boy named Zak, he lives down the street, he told me he has a crush on me, but don't worry, I don't love him or anything.
Oh, you don't love him, thank God..I was trembling in me boots there for a brief moment, thinking maybe you were going to pack up your My Little Pony suitcase and go move in with him and start sharing your pink milk with him using the same straw.
If any little being with a penis, looks at this girl here..
...this fat bitch here with the mic...will fuck u up brotha.
Word to yo mutha.