Thursday, September 20, 2007

Photograph


My eldest daughter told me something terrifying today.



This is her, pretty much word for word.





There is this boy named Zak, he lives down the street, he told me he has a crush on me, but don't worry, I don't love him or anything.



Oh, you don't love him, thank God..I was trembling in me boots there for a brief moment, thinking maybe you were going to pack up your My Little Pony suitcase and go move in with him and start sharing your pink milk with him using the same straw.



If any little being with a penis, looks at this girl here..














...this fat bitch here with the mic...will fuck u up brotha.







Word to yo mutha.

25 comments:

Katie said...

Phew, no need to worry about that love stuff yet....too funny, only because I don't have any children.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Katie,
not *unny..am I smiling?

shoot..

ha!
;)

1 plus twins said...

ha ha too funny i know exactly what you mean. last year at conferences i almost bitch slap some little girl cuz she came running up to drew hugged him and gave him a big kiss on the cheek then looked at me and said she was gonna marry him and she just loves him!! hello they were only 6!! no way in hell!!! those little sluts just better stay away from my boys!! lol i feel your pain!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

1Plustwins,
I know all about the little sluts, I caught one kissing the Boy two summers ago..Lesson learned, no more eavsdropping by sneaking peeks out the window, because holy shit, your gonna want to gouge your eyes out when your done spying.

Bradley Egel said...

FFG -

First of all...Do you hear me singing Photograph??? I am jammin it up all over the blogosphere...

Don't worry about your little girl... she isn't my type...but seriously...at least she is talking to you about her guy pals...she could be doing it behind your back!

You would not want to hear about it 10 years from now when she is knocked up...that would bite you in the tushy like a snake on a plane! :)

Bradley
The Egel Nest

Halfmexican Mama said...

tsk tsk...teach the wee ones never to share a drink or straw...one word Meningitis!!! Yikes!

Humincat said...

Mine has had an ongoing "he's just a friend" for THREE years!!! My only consolation is that very same boy seems way too interested in fashion and doing flips in the grass and making flower bracelets and swinging while gossiping and more of the such, so hopefully, they really are "just friends!"

MamaMichelsBabies said...

Your a trip.... those poor boys out in small town MN have no idea do they?

Please God never met it be one of the 5 boys in my litter of kids to find your daughter.

Actually, mutual torment of the kids might be fun.

Scarlet said...

Here in Miami we get a lot of OLD MEN checking out the young girls and it makes we want to buy a gun and blow off their privates. Little boys I'm not too worried about.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Bradely,
I can hear u signing, and its WAY outta tune dude;)

U have a point ...but still not good enough for this ole broad;)

HMM,
true true true..


Humincat,
I would safley agree that u have no need to worry...u lucky dog!

Mama,
well...I dont think we live close enough where it could happen...

BUT.....if they do find their way to eachother, we might need to talk;)

haha

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Scarlet,
well little boys, turn into big boys...


c my point?

shot em ALL in the privates.

Wait..I have a ten year old son...

shit.

patti_cake said...

I feel the same way about my babygirl... the hubs, oh the hubs. We won't even go there. He doesn't want her to even date til' she's forty!

themuttprincess said...

I feel the same way about neighborhood little girls.

How about we go target practicin'?

Rachel said...

You will make a great mother in law!! :) When my SIL's niece was small and we were watching a romantic movie she looked at me and said, "I'm going to wait until I'm ten before I get love." She just got married recently at the age of 26! Thank God she waited longer than age 10!! The things kids say!! You just never know what will pop out of their mouths!!

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Patti Cake,
I dont want mine to date ever..is that bad?

TMP,
WAIT...I dont want u shootin my little girls, dont worry about them, cause they wont even be able to talk to boys until they die.

Rachel,
well 26 is WAY better then 10, thats for sure..ha

Mine say they are never going to get married..so that makes me worry..

are they just gonna have babies with different guys and never marry any of them?

oh geez.

Tom said...

Bossy, it may be a good thing....My friend Bev and I met in first grade which was 41 years ago. We still are in contact a couple of times a week. Always been friends. We never even bumped uglys! (I did glimpse her gazongas once when she changed her shirt on the way back from the beach years and years ago). I think eventually he'll do something gross like eat a worm or something and she'll abandon him.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Tom,
I dont know..

I still might have to hurt him..

Gette said...

I have a feeling the boys had better watch our for Blondie on her own...

Neurotic1 said...

It's time to teach Blondie the good ol' art of ball kickin! Works like a charm ;)

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Gette,
this is true..BUT, over the summer she has gotten more 'girly" on my ass...and its freaking me out.

N1,
well occording to her brother, she is pretty damn good at it.

kaliblue said...

Hey sugar!!! Loooong time no see :-). Well um.... I've seen ya in pics that is *giggles*. Just checkin in on ya. Wanted to read the life of my fav gal. See all is still blissfully crazy your way:-).

Take care I'll check back with ya real soon.
Have a great day!!!

Slick said...

Me and you are fighting the same damn fight.

Not with the same little girl but you know what I mean...

Wendy said...

I will be sure to keep my boy away...he is all about the ladies these days! So far he is a one woman man though and Twila has his heart this week.

Flip Flop Goddess said...

Slick,
do we need to put together a swat team or something?

damn little boys..

Kailblu,
HEY....how the hell are u?...I have missed u.

Wendy,
he loves the ladies huh? well at least he isnt two timing;)

Jamie Dawn said...

With Blondie having YOU watching out for her, there will be NO guys with cahones big enough to DARE make any moves on her!!!!
Stay tough, momma bee!!!