Wednesday, May 09, 2007

fu*k an A

Editors note at bottom

Ok....I have a brief post here..

First up, we are pretty sure my dog is with children so I am in the shitter with Mr Shaky.

Then at work I went on a little jaunt with my friend to her house so she could get her dinner, whilst stepping out of her van, I did a number on my ankle.

There was a snap, and I went down.

I have a cast and on crutches.

For those of u keeping tally..I did this two summers ago, and posted graphic pics.

This time it snapped...Not pretty.

So I am laid up, and my dog has been laid.

But I do have vicoden.


Bee Careful




Editors note.

My dog is NOT with children. Took her to the vet, they did blood work, she is having a false preganacy. She is even lactiating..I mean milk is coming from her dog boobs. Vet said it should go away in about a week.

Lord have mercy.

54 comments:

Princess said...

First! Woohoo!!


Sorry to hear about your ankel! :( You poor bugger! Least you can boss everyone around, and not have to do anything! Post pics too!

I am excited that the dog is having puppies! Pups are so cute! And you will be able to get some money for em! :D

Rest up, and be good :x
xoxo

Karin said...

Sounds like you are having a bad day. Sorry about your ankle, you take it easy so it heals. I hope that if your dog is in the same condition as me that the puppies are at least cute. Good luck with that.

Neurotic1 said...

Ouch- so sorry to hear about your ankle! I am great with therapy if you need some exercises! So your dog has been sneakin' out- huh? When I said quit your job I didn't mean to go break an ankle!

Peggy said...

Sorry to read about your ankle but heck now you can lay around and make everyone wait on you! As for your dog having pups... wanna borrow my birthing kit after Diva has her kids? You never know you might have to play midwife and help deliver. LOL

eyes_only4him said...

Princess,
well about the dog, if she would of waited to get knocked up until I was ready and could breed her, I could get about 800 bucks a pop for the pups, but IF she is knocked up...they are worthless and not only that, I wont EVER be able to breed her...I am still holding out she aint, but it aint looking good;)

Karin,
I am assuming your bundle will be WAY cuter...cuz if she is knocked by the dog I think, they will be half boarder collie and half Lhasa Apso, not a cute combo:)

Neurtic,
shit, i am only taking today off..only because of the pain...My job is so easy I can sit around and prop it all night..hehe..

I may need some therapy, so get your arse over here.

Peggy,
is a goat birthing kit same as a dog?..If so, send it over, fully washed of course..haha

Monogram Queen said...

Sorry about the knocked up dog and the ankle but Whoo Hoo for Vicodan!

Maybe she got knocked up by a pedigree also. One an only hope.

Anonymous Fat Blogger said...

That sucks! About the ankle and the dog!

Are you telling the truth about how you broke it? Or did Mr. Shaky do a number on you when he found out about the dog being knocked up? :)

Halfmexican Mama said...

Sorry Chrisnit...if I could I would come over and take care of ya and make you some soup or some shit like that....Damn my inbox already says 9+ on it...not good. Not good at all. Usually it just gives a freakin number WITHOUT a plus sign next to it...arrg! I will give it till noon and then if it dosent cease im gonna cancel the myspace account. Wish me luck! woops...sorry forgot this was a comment section not a chat session..my bad

eyes_only4him said...

Patti_cake,
well I will find out soon if she is preggers, I just had my mom run her up to the vet...sonofabitch.

Working mom,
funny u said that..first thing the nurse asked me when i went to the ER was " do u want to report any domestic violeince?" I wanted to tell her "well if my dog is knocked up, then maybe i do"


Jill,
hmm...that is fishy...I would cancell it, then start a new one...they say its always good to change your password often too...so do that..first change your password..see if that helps.

Thanks for offering to help out ole chrisnit..

Steph was working too last night, and I told her if i was crippled i was gonna kick her ass...she was pissing me off...

Vani said...

poor bossy :( sit back and rest and have the older bees serve you for now. also, if your dog is knocked up, i might have to take one of the pups. my kids are ready, i just don't think i am.

eyes_only4him said...

HEADS UP....MY DOG IS NOT PREGANT.

REPEAT..NOT KNOCKED UP.

the vet did blood work said its just a behavior and that it should pass ina week, her body is making her think she is, thats why she is nesting and getting boobs..

damn...

Bella said...

Good that the dog isn't knocked up. Isn't it about time you had the don't be the neighborhood whore talk with her anyway?

Hope your ankle isn't giving you too much pain today.

Unknown said...

oh dam, hope the meds are helping, lol I'm sure they are. Sorry to hear about the dog, unless you are happy about it. lol

Angela said...

Oh man I feel ya on th ankle thing. I've messed mine up too many times to count. Oh the pup is with pups aye? tisk, tisk, tisk, that lil slut puppy *snickers*. Hunt that daddy down and get some children support will ya? :-)
Hope ya feel better. Oh wait what am I saying you probably are with your happy meds, vicodin didn't you say?

Angela said...

Well back up the truck I'm moving my words. I'm sorry your pup is not a slut puppy. I reapeat not a slut puppy :-). Hey is this how the phrase slut puppy came about ya reckon?.
((hugs))

Tom said...

Bossy, get well soon! I hope the bees pitch in, it may be a good thing for them!

Wendy said...

Everybody getting laid and it's no good for any of you. That sucks! Feel better and keep your fingers crossed about the dog.

Unknown said...

Can i have some of the vicodin? I justhad my last 2 wisdom teeth pulled, + two fillings. I got lum nips.

eyes_only4him said...

Katie,
well she is grounded and i will be having the birds and the bees talk with her soon..mark my words.

Dakota,
the dog is ok, she is not having puppies, its a false pregancy of some sort and she is even lactating..i never heard of such a thing, but the vet says its common..damn

Kaliblue,
sucks when the ankle gets messed up..this is the third time i have done this..hurts like a mohter f-er.

so far she is not a slut, she was thisclose to getting her ass kicked by me though...she is damn lucky.

Tom,
thank u...this morning the bees helped eacother make breakfast and pakc thier lunches...nothing like teamwork when mom is all cripppeld up;)

Wendy,
good news..no one is getting laid, she isnt knocked up...hip hip horray:)

eyes_only4him said...

Gette,
dang, didnt they supply u with any?

come on over and i will spare a few for ya;)

Choppzs said...

Holy shit, you and your puppers should just curl up in that closet and stay there till she has her babies and you heal!! No more runs for you young lady!! lol

"T" said...

I love Vicodin.

Told ya the dog was preggers.

:)

Monogram Queen said...

Poor doggie that is freaky! I would definitely go ahead and breed her when it's safe to do so.

Jamie Dawn said...

If your dog is faking a pregnancy, then maybe YOU are faking a broken ankle.

Really now, I DO FEEL sorry for you. I'm sure that hurt like Hades.

Did you cuss when it happened?

eyes_only4him said...

Choppzs,
not enough room in the closet for the both of us:)

T,
nope, she isnt..she just has a slight case of mental illness.

Patti cake,
I am gonna breed her next time she goes into heat I think..better get it over with before she screws it up for me.

Jamie,
Well, I am not going to confirm nor deny breaking of the ankle..haha

Its hurting pretty bad, i need to sip some mint julep on your swing girlfriend

Anonymous said...

hope it feels mo betta soon sexy
js

eyes_only4him said...

willy,
thanks..

at least my dog aint knocked up..there is always a plus side.

Anonymous said...

So sorry you messed up your ankle again. It seems to be a habit you need to break. Sorry, bad pun. Totally stressed.

Don't have anything about the dog though. Let's see - how about how much do you get for puppies who aren't really real...

Feel better!

1 plus twins said...

so sorry to hear about your puppy. we had a laso apso growing up and she had 6 false pregos. each time she thought my brother was her pup and would try to feed him and really drip milk when he was around. she was real protective of him too. they eventually had to give her a hysterectomy. hope your dog is ok. sorry to hear bout your ankle too. at least you got vicodin. lol hang in there!

eyes_only4him said...

Tam,
did u get my email last week? I thanked u for my card, but never heard back, I was worried u were blown away by some twister..

But thank the Lord there are no puppies..Thats all I need..shit.

1 plus twins,
thats odd, I wonder why these dogs do that, I never heard of such a thing..It still baffles me.

Hopefully she gets over it soon..

Princess said...

Aww, i was hoping for puppies :(
*pouts*

eyes_only4him said...

Princess,
u naughty girl.

Deb said...

I usually blame these accidents on the Ketel One... Hmm.

I hope you feel better! I snapped my ankle once, and let me tell you, it's never been the same since. I can literally feel it when it's gonna rain. It's either the injury, or I'm just getting fricken old. Who knows.

Get well, elevate those puppies!

Anonymous said...

you should probably milk the dog's boobs so that you can save the milk in case there are any little baby doggies that need it

Bare said...

Holy shit! I'm SO SORRY to hear about your ankle! Bless your heart. I'm glad you've got some pain killers though. Take care

*Hugs*


PS: Glad the dog isn't knocked up-- I know you are, too!

Nora said...

Uggh, I'm sorry to hear about your ankle. What a pain.
I'm happy the dog is not preggers.
Put your leg up and rest.

Kendra Lynn said...

Ouch! Sorry about your ankle...take it easy.
At least the dog isn't going to be poppin' any little ones out.
That's good news.
Hope you are doing fine.

Kendra

eyes_only4him said...

Thanks guys..

My ankle feels much better today, at least I am able to put a little bit of weight on it..

As far as the dog not being knocked up, its a relief, cuz i was in the dog house for that one..sonofabitch

Choppzs said...

Ok, so does false pregnancy mean she was never really pregnant but her body thinks she is, or does that mean she was pregnant, but like miscarried or something??? Hmmm, sorry for all the questions, never experience a doggy problem like this before. Mine are all neutered! lol Lactating sucks lol

eyes_only4him said...

no, she was never pregant..the vet said its common for female dogs to start nesting about 7-6 weeks AFTER they have been in heat...She can still have puppies if I chose to breed her later..

its just a mental condtion..I have a crazy dog, thats all:)

Jamie Dawn said...

You didn't leave a movie quote over at my blog.
Haven't you EVER watched any movies???

Also, I KNOW you cussed a blue streak when you hurt your ankle. :)

MommaMonkey said...

Sorry about your ankle! That is a total bummer! Hope it heals quickly! You better get Mr.Shaky to push you around in a wheel chair when you go for your walks around the lake!

And what the eff is a false pregnancy, and how the hell does that happen? That is just messed up. I can't believe there is such a thing!

cathouse teri said...

I was just reading the comments. First of all, if she was knocked up by an inferior dog, she's ruined forever? But if she fucks around with one, she's not ruined? Or did she get falsely pregnant entirely falsely?

And I do NOT want to know what is in a birthing kit.

The Ethical Slut said...

HAVE MERCY!! You poor thing! My sympathies to the dog - OH - and you too! LOL

eyes_only4him said...

Jamie,
me cuss?..NEVER:)

Ok, I will go back and leave lines I know..its just going to make me look more of a fool Jamie.

Chels,
right now I cant even get him to fold the damn laundry..haha

cat house teri,
well from what I know, if a pure bred mates with a "comonour" or mutt as I cann them, they indeed can not be bred for sale..I mean U can breed them, but the bloodline is runied...makes no sence.

as far as the false pregancy, vet said its common in small dogs 6-7 weeks after they have been in heat..I mean this bitch was lactiaing and everything..damn

TCW,
the dog is thisclose to being killed by me and mr shaky...aint looking good, so she needs your sympathies more then me:)

Cliff said...

Sorry to hear about this BB. Since you were with another employee does this qualify for workmans comp? Yeah right.
On another note. I have an idea. You should try and get a job writing for a tv show and then you could work from home and they would never know you couldn't walk. And also, I think I might be able to keep up with you now while you're on your runs around the lake so give me a call.

eyes_only4him said...

Cliff,
workmans comp?..I never thought of that:)

As far as the writing part goes, well..My luck I would drop my laptop on the other foot.

Are u up for a morning run?..come on down..

Yarn Tails said...

Sorry to hear about your ankle. Good thing for drugs, eh? lol

Thank goodness the dog is only having a false one. I didnt know they could do that. Geez

eyes_only4him said...

I didnt know they could have false ones either..

I have always thought my dog has a mental condtion, and this just proves it:)

Jenn said...

feel better from one cripple prone to another....

Anonymous Fat Blogger said...

Maybe that's what's really wrong with me? You think?

Hope you're feeling better!

Have a great Mother's Day!!

"T" said...

Wow that's weird. Wonder what got her to thinkin' she was pregnant?

It's not like she has her periods all mapped out on the calendar like I used to do.

Then when it's late I'd have a tiny freak out.

Or maybe she has a little day planner that you don't know about. Or maybe she missed a pill or forgot to put her diaphragm in that one night...

The possibilities are endless.

But in any event, she's a whore.

eyes_only4him said...

working mom,
well stop by and lets see if my vet can feel any pups in u..hahahahahahaha

T,
she is a virgin, how dare u..
;)

She is just a mental case, plain and simple.

Unknown said...

Sorry about your ankle! I hope it is better.