So I was on my way to work this morning, as I do lots of mornings..cause I contribute to society and the social security system which I will never get to use..Thanks W...And as I am just on the outskirts of my crappy as% town I glance out my rear view mirror. I normally never look back there. Today I did. Which is a damn good thing as your gonna soon find out.
I look back there and see pretty lights. I think to myself...geesh this guy must need to get around me cause there must be an emergency or something...
so I pull to the side a bit so he can pass me. I look. Bastard is still there. Damn. He. Wants.Me. I. Am. His. Emergancy.Damn. Again.
So after my nearly quarter mile police chase, I pull my mini van to the shoulder of the road. A very well dressed, dark, handsome, police man strolls on over to my van. I see my reflection in his dark glasses. I need lip*gloss.
He says, " mam, you know how fast you were going?"
Me.." ahh, no..Sorry."
"41, mam, 41 in a 30, I know school is out, but we cant have you driving that fast thru town..mmkay?...You have your license and insurance?"
" I do." I am hoping at this point to not have the insurance in the van so I can spend a few hours in jail rather than at target.
But it was there..Damn again.
he takes my goods back to his very big SVU. I quickly put my lip gloss on..And a little color..Wipe my face off with a napkin, just in case I have anything there..
He comes back and tells me he could very easily not only give me a speeding ticket, but also a $187.00 fine for not having a valid Minnesota drivers license. He asks how long I have lived here. I lie..Tell him almost a year, when truly its almost 2 years..
The very nice, tall, dark and handsome police man says
" Bossy, I am gonna let you off with a warning this time..."
I knew the lip*gloss would do the trick
It was just like an episode of Chips...Minus Ponch and John and the motorcyles.
Bee Real
Friday, June 02, 2006
Dude looks like a lady
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25 comments:
Well, aren't you a lucky little lady :). I got a ticket for 5 miles over, 35 in a 30 about 5 years ago and I am STILL bitter :)...but another time,I got let off for 60 in a 50..WTF...those can be crazy one minute and totally sweet the next. "hey cops, don't you have bigger crimes to solve, then us Mommies trying to take good care of our kids." :)
Phew....damn lucky!!! Glad he let you off. Way to work the lip gloss :)
kish,
i know, us speeding moms are harmelss..not like we are crack dealers..well some arent..haha
beth,
i know...lip gloss. works like a charm honey;)
way to go bossy! good thinking on the lip gloss. :)
you are so lucky.... I would have been under the jail if it had been me.
vani,
lip gloss does wonders..trust me..
peggy.,
it is my charm, my wit, and my lip gloss...i was hoping for jail though:)
Aren't you lucky - me? I'd be sitting in jail, because my mouth would get me in trouble.
My last ticket was in August of '99... and I don't want anymore.
ahhh, how cute. bossy got a warning. and somehow he even knew your nickname. now that is just downright suspicious!
I lip gloss works so well I bet my brother had some this spring when he was clocked doing 115 mph in a 55 zone. He wrote the ticket for 85 in a 55 though. You weren't late for your crappy job were you?
I have a dream for you bossy, where do i Post it?
fantstagirl,
i have never had a ticket, and I would like to keep it that way...in fact that was only the second time i have been pulled over.
suzie,
he was very smart..its like he had a crystal ball...he was a good man..haha
aatank,
whats funny is he asked me if i was late for work and i said "ope, i am not even running late"..i had no excuse for my reckelss driving..teehee..lip gloss..i tell you girls..it will get out outta any jam..
kish,
the first link in my sidebar..
Sometimes they are just crazy! How many serious crimes are happening right now, and they pull you over for that??? I could see if you were excessively speeding, but come on! I got a ticket near our old "hicktown" last fall. I was going 3, yes I said 3 over!! I fought it and he never even showed up so it was dismissed. Glad I didn't have to pay, but had to drive all the way back over there just to fight it...aaggghh!!
kelly,
its becuase you wernt wearing lipgloss:)
Man, at least he didn't give you a ticket!! not like these stupid Cali cops that have nothing better to do then go down the nicest street in this fricken town and hand out tickets to people for parking the wrong way in front of their own house. Gotta love the lip gloss, maybe I will tell my husband he should carry some with him for future reference!! lol Think it works for men too?
One question- why were you speeding on the way to the job?
lol
You got lucky sister...I think you have 30 days in most states to update the license.
I waited forever too;)
They will be watching for you now so watch out!
You rebel;)
Shelly
Oh, you are lucky! I'm sure I would not have been so unfortunate. So, how are you? I'm back from vacay. I think this time we are serious--we are not taking them out of town for like . . . five years!! :) Seriously!! :) Talk to you later.
Lucky! I got my 1st and only speeding ticket 2 years ago and it totally pissed me off. It was a motorcycle cop and he didn't even say one word to me...butthole...LOL
choppzs,
i tell you if you have the gloss, they dont give ya a ticket..its my own proven theory:)
mary,
well I was speeding for work persay...i just have a lead foot:)
shelly,
yes he informed me I was suppose to do it within 60 days..opps my bad;)...i better do it though..i dont want a 187 fine for being stupid.
marel,
i am glad your back, I have missed you..your pics are great..i really should email you..
denise,
i bet you werent wearing lipgloss..bad girl..how does he give you a ticket and not talk to you...but with the motorcyle it was closer to chips then mine;)
Bossy,
I gotta tell ya. I tried the lip gloss thing with a cop. It didn't go so well with me. :-)
jerry,
maybe it wasnt the right shade:)
YOU...are not playing fair. Have you no shame. Lip gloss, honestly I don't know how you sleep at night. Really, I DON'T know how you sleep at night.
cliff,
you know me well enough to know I have NO shame..
:-)
oh you are so lucky!
i almost got busted for not wearing a seat belt. he pulled us over and came to my (passenger) side of the truck. but by the time he got there my seatbelt was on.
"Oh I couldn't tell if you had your seatbelt on or not." I smiled sweetly.
You go, girl. You flirt with that nice policeman !!!
Well done !!
I got a $131 speeding fine in the mail, for doing 54 in a 50 zone ... dirt-bags. I hate speed cameras !!
Have a great week. Take care, Meow
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