Dear Target Corporation
Minneapolis , MN
To Whom it may concern..Or not,
I have been a faithful employee to you for all of 3 months. I have stood countless hours at my post, not moving, while my legs ached and begged for mercy and while my bladder used curse words at me while I piddled down my leg. Because holy crap, you cant leave your post unless scabby says so..
I am just informing you that I am dying of a terminal illness. One I most likely contracted while working there. Its called Targeritise. Very rare. You can take your Medicare job and less than desirable pay and shove it up your corporate CEO's as%..
But let me leave you with some helpful hints that might make you turn more of a profit, because I know you mugs must not earn a descent living because you pay the others peanuts..
Now these tips are free of charge, I am doing this out of the kindness of my own bowels..mmkay.
1. Customers don't like being asked every 5 seconds " can I help you find something?" I had more than one ask me " do I look like I am lost?"...It makes the customers feel like they are retards..People, under normal circumstances don't like feeling like a retard.
2. You need to stop pushing the credit card.. When Guests come to spend some of their hard earned money at Target to by some TP for their Bunghole, they don't need their cashier asking if they would like to go into debt farther by applying for one of your cards..
(this was something I refused to do..I did not ask ONE person to apply for a card because it made me mad as hell when I would be asked while I shopped...But each target has goal, they want us to go into debt...Why? Don't know..But they do...Don't apply for any dept store cards, because they can raise the rates at anytime..And plus I was watching on Oprahs debt Diet that they are scams...So PLEASE don't ever apply for one..)
3. You need to make it a policy that when the "guests" try on clothes in the fitting room, they have to put the clothes back where they found them..Because for petes sake I have to work till 11 pm to make sure the size 8's are all in a row. And you don't pay me enough to care if they are..mmkay?
4.When you work a 6 hour shift, we need more than one pissing break. I would like to see you Mr CEO stand on your feet at the jewelry Boat with nothing to do, and try and hold your urine in. Of course we only have one break to quench our pallet anyway, so maybe your thinking we should not need to piss more than once...
5. I think all employees should get free food at Food Avenue. Its the least you can do to make up for your wages..Or at least free drinks while we are working..
6.when we on the sales floor have our evening huddle, we could care less what the goal for the day for credit cards is...WE WORK ON THE SALES FLOOR>>WE DON'T CASHIER...And we could care less if we are meeting our total sales goal for the day as well...And don't treat us like pre schoolers and ask what we do in case of a code red..We run you morans..We run..While I grab all the free shit I can..
7.Oh and here is my final tip...Please in the winter months in the states that are cold..Like most of the dang states..Don't stop selling your hats and mittens in January, because holy crap I have to have blogger friends send my kids hats and mitten's because you suck.
and in the summer don't start putting your summer clothes on clearance in may its not summer yet FOOLS .Soon the mittens will out huh?
Ok, take all this to heart MR CEO. While you sitting on the pot taking your daily half hour dump and the real folks who run target are bustin their humps for the money they DON'T make, just remember that your clock could stop anyday. Walmart could take over everything and you could be standing at the jewelry boat over there with out a pissing break....And when that time comes, I am gonna come to the store and put all the the sizes where they should not be and mess up all the tables so your there till midnight folding them..Course I don't think walmart practice neat tables or zoning of any kind, so you might be lucky there..
In closing I am giving you my two week notice...And no, I do not want to come back for seasonal help....Are you freaking insane?
Any questions or comments, don't bother they will end up in the trash anyway, save yourself a damn stamp..
With highest regards and the deepest love,
And no, I wont become your VP....I am taking some time off from the retail world, I am going to travel the world, see the sites. I wont get far cuz you only paid me about 99cents an hour after gas....
Have a wonderful day and a pleasant weekend. I am sure you don't work weekends. You spend them at your beach home on Lake Minnetonka in your 4 million dollar home next to Prince's purple mansion...But have a sip of your cosmopolitan your sipping on the dock of your yacht....cuz your a big fat wuss and that is a wuss drink..So suck it..
Friday, June 09, 2006
Dear Target Corporation
Posted by eyes_only4him at 2:44:00 PM