I am riddled with guilt. I don't mind being riddled, if its a good one....But when its guilt, not so pleasant..
The last few days I have been using mind control on my Boo...I have been planting seeds in her in which makes her want to watch High School Musical 2.
This is me..
"hey Boo, wanna watch a movie"
" no tanks momma"
" well I'm just gonna shut the tv off them cause I am tired of watching Noggin for 6 hours straight"
" but momma"
"nope, we either watch a movie or the tv goes off"
" wanna watch shrek 3 momma"
" spiderman 3?"
" nope, nothing with a three...maybe a two"
" oh momma, wanna watch High School Musical 2?"
" well, if u insist"
See, that is what I have reduced myself too..I am by no means proud of the fact I am about to spout because A. it looks and sounds like I let my kids watch a lot of tv, when in turn, that is the case...and B, its gonna make me sound crazy and obsessed with teenage boys..
On Friday Boo and I watch High School Musical 2.... 5 times..back to freakin back..
It was the best day of my life.
I have an amusing Karaoke story for you guys....I know your going to love this shit.
So the other night my ma and I are out to a karaoke bar so I can rock the house, as per normal.
The place is packed. Now normally I play for a crowd of anywhere between 10-30 people..which is not a lot..
But Saturday this place we went to was packed. I heard the manager say the capacity was 213 and he exceeded that long ago so it was standing room only for some..
So this was like playing Madison Square Garden for a mear karaoke queen as myself.
Sure I have written things that millions of people have enjoyed, but thats different..and we dont/cant talk about that anyway.
Anyhoo, I was in my element, I started out with my best tune..I am singing my heart out, and the crowd is LOVING it, as per normal.
There is clapping, there is whistling, there is cheering. As per normal.I am thinking..damn, I love drunk people.
I finish song one and I head back to my seat as per normal.
Then I notice that behind the stage on the big screen tv is a football game.
SO I am about 90% sure they were not hoopin and hollering for me now.
Then its time for song number two, and I give it a good belt out...The crowd is on their feet dancing and screaming...as per normal.
When I was done I had at least 20 people come up to our table and tell me they wished I was the only one doing the singing...well of course...as per normal
As the night wore on things were hopping, I was a star...I had people gooing and gawing over me, and it was pure bliss..
When I got up for another song, I was brushing some hair off my jeans when I noticed the unthinkable...
My fly had been undone...NOT per normal
Now I am not sure how long it was down for, I am assuming I forgot to zip it when I went tinkles a few minutes before.
But it was just plain scary.
There I was, in front of 200 peeps and I was open fly all the way.
Now the sweater I was wearing was long, so it covered the fly area...But still..
So there I am standing there with a full house of drunks, my song starts to play and I don't know what to do..I am froze..
If I starting singing and moving around, they are likely to notice the fly is wide open, like the grand canyon..
And I don't think anyone wanted to see my hot pink bikini briefs in full view.
Well I know one of them wouldn't of minded as he kept asking me to marry him..Pretty sure he was gay though..
There I was...all exposed...in front of millions..
ok 200 people.
So I did what any hot blooded female would do..
I zipped my fly up in mid song..
Still no dryer....Friday night when I was tyring to get ready for a night filled of diet coke and kareoke, my jeans were still wet...So again I had to break out the f-ing blow dryer.....
Is this what my life has been reduced too?..For the love of God.
Nothing like going out of doors when its negative 5 degrees with a damp crotch.
Oh, I have forgotten to mention this before, but by the end of this week I should know if I have a job at our local gym as a personal trainer...
They seem to be smitten with me...
Its gonna be swell.
Flip Flop Momma, getting fat asses into shape one smile at a time.