Monday, January 07, 2008

Music in me

I am riddled with guilt. I don't mind being riddled, if its a good one....But when its guilt, not so pleasant..

The last few days I have been using mind control on my Boo...I have been planting seeds in her in which makes her want to watch High School Musical 2.

This is me..

"hey Boo, wanna watch a movie"

" no tanks momma"

" well I'm just gonna shut the tv off them cause I am tired of watching Noggin for 6 hours straight"

" but momma"

"nope, we either watch a movie or the tv goes off"

" wanna watch shrek 3 momma"

" nope"

" spiderman 3?"

" nope, nothing with a three...maybe a two"

" oh momma, wanna watch High School Musical 2?"

" well, if u insist"

See, that is what I have reduced myself too..I am by no means proud of the fact I am about to spout because A. it looks and sounds like I let my kids watch a lot of tv, when in turn, that is the case...and B, its gonna make me sound crazy and obsessed with teenage boys..

On Friday Boo and I watch High School Musical 2.... 5 times..back to freakin back..

It was the best day of my life.


I have an amusing Karaoke story for you guys....I know your going to love this shit.

So the other night my ma and I are out to a karaoke bar so I can rock the house, as per normal.

The place is packed. Now normally I play for a crowd of anywhere between 10-30 people..which is not a lot..

But Saturday this place we went to was packed. I heard the manager say the capacity was 213 and he exceeded that long ago so it was standing room only for some..

So this was like playing Madison Square Garden for a mear karaoke queen as myself.

Sure I have written things that millions of people have enjoyed, but thats different..and we dont/cant talk about that anyway.

Anyhoo, I was in my element, I started out with my best tune..I am singing my heart out, and the crowd is LOVING it, as per normal.

There is clapping, there is whistling, there is cheering. As per normal.I am thinking..damn, I love drunk people.

I finish song one and I head back to my seat as per normal.

Then I notice that behind the stage on the big screen tv is a football game.

SO I am about 90% sure they were not hoopin and hollering for me now.

Then its time for song number two, and I give it a good belt out...The crowd is on their feet dancing and per normal.

When I was done I had at least 20 people come up to our table and tell me they wished I was the only one doing the singing...well of per normal

As the night wore on things were hopping, I was a star...I had people gooing and gawing over me, and it was pure bliss..

When I got up for another song, I was brushing some hair off my jeans when I noticed the unthinkable...

My fly had been undone...NOT per normal

Now I am not sure how long it was down for, I am assuming I forgot to zip it when I went tinkles a few minutes before.

But it was just plain scary.

There I was, in front of 200 peeps and I was open fly all the way.

Now the sweater I was wearing was long, so it covered the fly area...But still..

So there I am standing there with a full house of drunks, my song starts to play and I don't know what to do..I am froze..

If I starting singing and moving around, they are likely to notice the fly is wide open, like the grand canyon..

And I don't think anyone wanted to see my hot pink bikini briefs in full view.

Well I know one of them wouldn't of minded as he kept asking me to marry him..Pretty sure he was gay though..

There I was...all front of millions..

ok 200 people.

So I did what any hot blooded female would do..

I zipped my fly up in mid song..



Still no dryer....Friday night when I was tyring to get ready for a night filled of diet coke and kareoke, my jeans were still wet...So again I had to break out the f-ing blow dryer.....

Is this what my life has been reduced too?..For the love of God.

Nothing like going out of doors when its negative 5 degrees with a damp crotch.

Oh, I have forgotten to mention this before, but by the end of this week I should know if I have a job at our local gym as a personal trainer...

They seem to be smitten with me...

Its gonna be swell.

Flip Flop Momma, getting fat asses into shape one smile at a time.


Michael Manning said...

I went out with friends to a Karaoke Bar where we had to draw names and select bad songs for them to sing. I had to get up and sing "After the Lovin". The waitresses locked arms and did a left kick-right kick behind me. I couldn't look at them because I laugh so easily!

just_tammy said...

When you give people a show, you really give people a show!

Don't worry about feeling guilty about messing with Boo. One way or another the kids end up blaming the parents for screwing them up, so you might as well be happy in the process.

Go get a stinkin dryer!!! I was thinking about you the other day when I was washing bedding. It isn't possible to hang that much stuff in a basement. Plus who wants to sleep in scratchy sheets?!

Humincat said...

Yeah, my kids eyes have been glued to either the TV or Computer with a few glances at the Wii or Ds for the entire two weeks. No wonder is has gone so smoothly! Her nightly reading (that she begs for) has been the only thing from keeping me feeling like a horrid momma. That and the peace and quiet.

Flip Flop Momma said...

man, that would be an intresting sight alright.

well...When its time to wash the bedding, I am gonna have to go to the laundry mat..

If I dont get a dryer soon, I may go postal.

My kids have been willy nilly with movies and whatnot...they are not allowed to play videogames right now, unless its my dancing one..

I need to ship them off to boarding school soon.

Foster Communications said...

Too funny!
Your life is a sitcom!

Fantastagirl said...

I hope you get the job as a personal trainer - and then maybe Hubby will let you get a dryer!

Wendy said...

I need you to come get my fat ass into shape! I got a gym membership now I just have to go instead of driving by and smiling about my free memebership!

Get a dryer! Cold wet crotch is no good!

1 plus twins said...

omg that is too damn funny, you and cliff have a lot in common he just made the same mistake a few days ago. that is funny shit.

you are a trainer??? get the hell out!! man i wish you lived here, we could rock out, my hubby would steal your shirt and you could whip my ass in shape. lol

go read my blog, it is your turn to give me tons and tons of shit. that is what i get for making fun of you. ha ha

Flip Flop Momma said...

oh u dot eve know the half of it..ha

yea I hope I get it too, ad with my first check I am gettig a idustrial size dryer, for shizzle.

a free memebership is jelous..

yes, I am a trainer, well use to be back i the day, I am hopig i ca whip my own ass back ito shape;)

Scarlet said...

I love that karaoke story! Do you know it was popular in the early 90s to have your zipper down on purpose to show off sexy lingerie or a bikini bottom? You'd see it at all the nightclubs here in Miami.

Good luck with that trainer job. I can see you pumping everyone up and being good at it.

Katie said...

Mr. Shaky is just cruel not letting you get a new dryer it's January in MN for crying out loud.

Tom said...

I wish I had you at the gym where I go. I think you'd be good at yelling in my ear while I clomp along the treadmill at 3.5 mph (a 2% incline mind you...)..
I have nobody to talk to there either...scary muscle heads in the back room lifting and walking around like they have a broom handle up their ass, and 99lb. 22 year olds barbies jogging effortlessly beside me smirking at my exertions. You're a good least you don't tell a 4 year old the "death monster" was gonna come in their room and kill them if they didn't my parents did....

Flip Flop Momma said...

THOose woulda been some dark days of clubbing, cause some poeple, u just dont need to see that..


well, at least your going to the gym, but thats why I have a home gym, so I dont have to workout in front of others;)

the death montster?..thats pure genueis.

Kim said...

You are f_ing hilarious! Reading your blogs during the week gives me a fun boost to my ho-hum week! Keep 'em coming!

Flip Flop Momma said...

why thanks my dear....just wait for tommorw..haha

Patti said...

Okay I forgot you lived in the subzero tundra. You NEED a dryer in those temps. As Mr Shaky how much good you can do him with a frozen crotch!

Choppzs said...

Ok, I had to go back and read your last 3 posts. I am a bit behind don't ya know? lol But I too, am a big fan of highschool musical. I dont' like the 2nd as much as the first, but that Troy is a cutie. lol And I don't have a fascination with watching it 5 or 6 times, but I do enjoy the soundtrack (girly's) and my Hubs thinks I am a total moron! lol Don't worry, you are not alone in your teen boy craze! lol

Oh and I do have to say, go get a damn dryer for crying out loud! Who the hell wants to wear damp clothes out there when as soon as you walk outside your nipples turn into missles?

d said...

You need to start filming this stuff for Youtube. Pretty please?

And what does this mean: "Sure I have written things that millions of people have enjoyed, but thats different..and we dont/cant talk about that anyway."


Anonymous said...

well i don't know what to say other like hair clippies

Flip Flop Momma said...

never forget it gets colder then the north pole in these parts.

I need to see the first one..I have never seen it..I need it now.

oh gosh, I only cant tape this kinda gold, this kinda stuff is best when u can visaulize it in your head;)

I cant say anything here about the other...

hair clippies are so 1987.

CMB said...

No Way! Zipper down? Classic. Karaoke is not that big around here so we do it in house with the aid of Karaoke Revolution for PS2. We have all 4 versions and I can sing my butt off.

I too think you should get a dryer. I could not imagine doing laundry without one and there are only 4 people in my house - one being very little (14 mos.).

d said...

OMG - now I HAVE to know!