Monday, January 28, 2008

the gold coin

Saturday my mom wanted to go out for a night out. My normal stomping grounds were set to have karaoke so we went there. When we got there we learned they decided to have "hip hop night" so this was my cue to beat hell outta there.

Pale girl was w/us and her new beau. He informed me that in his town, that we call Hutch, had karaoke at a place called the Gold Coin, but he said it was not your normal karaoke.

this is how you know that your an addict, because to me as long as it was karaoke, it is normal.

I called this Gold Coin to confirm the status of said karaoke. this is a Chinese Restaurant/bar...

"Ha-wo, go-ed coin"

"hey, do u have karaoke"

"ya, we do"

"what kind of songs?...normal ones?"

"he gots ober te-fous-san tongs"

"ok, on my way"

We get there and this is where the fun in sues.

Now normally when there is karaoke there are a pleather of book 2 be had...Here there was one, and it appeared to be in something similar to a trapper keeper.

they have no slips so I have to write down my shit on a napkin.

the big Chinese guy sees me writing songs down, he scurries to my table and tells me he only does "tree in a wo".

I'm like,ok you do three in a row, but I am writing down all the ones I want to do, so I don't have to spend all night writing...comprende'?

yaw yaw...dats oktay

Now out of his "te-fous-an tongs" I only see 6 I am even willing to do.

Normally I have a stack of at least 20 or more, cause I am a mic hog...and thats how I roll.

Now under normal circumstances there is somewhat of a stage and they call your name. Nope not here...His two "plastic mics" were just hanging on the bar 4 anyone to use..

I notice my songs are up so I head over grab a mic and am standing in the middle of the bar...

After my three songs are up, he puts on the Rolling Stones and "sings" while he is clearing the bar, pouring drinks, whatever..

He already has broken English and it was very entertaining hearing him sing

" I can get no, sa-iz-acshon"

He did three Stones songs, then put my last three on..

After mine he then did Elvis...I am convinced he learned English by listening to Elvis songs.

"re-tune to senner" "no such nummer,oh sa-sh cone"

then when he was done, he just randomly played songs....and no one was singing...but he was playing them..

Kinda like a self serve karaoke center...if you like the song, by all means grab a plastic mic and have at it...

After we felt we had enough, we left...Now to get here, Pale Girls man had us do a "walk thru" of another bar, as it was a quicker way to get back to the car. So here we are, walking thru the bar, heading to the back door, and everyone is gawking at us.

then her man decided that at midnight in the sub zero temps is a good time to do a "stop and chat" with a buddy who was driving by, in the middle of the highway.

Nothing I hate more then "walk thru's and stop and chats"

It was just like a bad episode of the Twilight Zone...

then we head on over to the lamplighter, which is another bar and grill...that was just straight dj. thank Gawd cause I had, had enough..

the minute we got to the table, a group of gals that were loaded at the Golden Coin came to our table and grabbed me to dance...

the song was "lets get rocked" by Def Leppard, so it was all good.

They say "aren't u the same gal who was singing at the golden coin"

Yup, that was me girls, in the flesh..

then the scream to their other pals..


shit....not sure whats going on now..

Then a whole group of them are bumping and grinding on me and wanting me to dance with them.

So, as I do with all my fans, I actively participate in the dancing.

I tell you what, I got my groove on the rest of said evening, and I still have no idea what any of their names were....

then its time to leave, so we head on out....and this VERY nice looking chap comes to me and tells me..

"u got moves, u single?"

"yes, I do have moves, and nope, this bitch is going home to her hubby who is in bed cause he doesn't go out on church nights"

"church nights?..carry on then good looking"


the end..good night.

Oh and that boy who wrote Blondie that note...Guess what the little f-er did?

He gave my baby a ring.

The boy is dead now.


Groovy Mom said...

Hey, I sing karaoke at a Chinese restaurant lounge too! Tree in a wo? I'm jealous. When the bar I go to is busy, I'm lucky to sing three all night. :-P But they do have a lot of songs there, that's because the karoke host is a cowboy, and he runs a pretty good show.

A ring? Oh, that boy is smooth. Get a gun.

Scarlet said...

You remind me of a Chinese restaurant story: the waitress brought a dipping sauce to the table and said it was miso-honey, but try saying it with a Chinese accent...sounds hilarious!

Sounds like a fun night even with all the twists and turns.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Groovy Mom,
Where I go normally I sing all night long...sometimes I only get about 7 or 8 turns, but if its not busy, I am on the mic all night;)

I love Chinese people.

just_tammy said...

WOW! What a night! Does the boy think he's engaged to your bee?! She needs to give it back and tell him the cheap stuff turns her green and to buy her some of the good stuff for her birthday!

Flip Flop Momma said...

it sorta looks like a ring he mighta stole it from his mom:)

Gette said...

The lady at our Chinese buffest asks "You want ass watah?" No thanks.

Gette said...

Oh, and Karaoke at Duffy's every Thurs and Saturday. C'mon over. You can bogart the mic.

1 plus twins said...

only you would find a chinese rest. to do karaoke at. that would have been so entertaining to listen to the chinese guy. to funny.

he gave her a ring?? are you flipping kidding me! that is crazy. it is time to start chaining her to her bed!! and shooting every young man that comes to the door for her. lol

Flip Flop Momma said...

where is Duffy's???????????

i may start homeschooling heart cant take it.

The Egel Nest said...

Your Chinese transliteration was very funny...

I once called a Chinese restaurant to get some food delivered...and at the end of the order she told me that they had a delivery charge of 8.95...

I told her I had never heard of such a high delivery charge...

She said..."You hear it now!"


The Egel Nest

Katie said...

I have been to the Lamplighter, I swear it. One very long not drunk enough very cold night about a year ago.

Flip Flop Momma said...

holy crap, thats funny..

u hear it now..hahaha..great!!

in hutch?..the lampligher in hutch?..

well get ur ass back here and lets go again...

Miss 1999 said...

I would've paid good money to see you singing karaoke at a Chinese resturant!!! I know that had to be priceless-- priceless-- "tree in a wo"!

Haphazardkat said...

Yoo wok. Yoo wok ritcheous good!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Miss 1999,
yeah, it was something else all right.

tank ooo, tank ooo

CMB said...

Ok, WOW. You have way too much fun! I love your recap of the Chinese karaoke guy. Dead on.

The boy sounds like he is very forward. No wonder he is dead...

Patti said...

Oh I would have peed my pants listening to the chinese guy sing the Stones.
You have the most entertaining adventures!

Ooh a ring. Well V-day is coming up........

Janell said...

Honestly, I have more fun reading about your nights out on the town than I would if I was going out myself! You ROCK!

You reminded me of a story: the Preacher who married my husband and me was Korean and my groom almost got the giggles when he said, "Til det uts do paht"

Sorry to hear your baby is now a widow, but whatcha gonna do?

Flip Flop Momma said...

well, it wasnt as fun as it may me;)

yeah hearing him sing was entertaining, but unless u were reading the word on the screen u had NO idea wha he was singing.

well, one of these days your going to have to go out with me, and u can see the adventure first hand;)

thas dang funny aout your, that is sooo blog worthy, if u have not wrote about that yet, u have too.....

Anonymous said...

sounds like fun and excitement.
I need to tag along as the DD

themuttprincess said...

Well at least you were able to get your song on, even if you only got to do tree in a wo!

You have a fanbase! That is awesome!

Let me know if you need any help with that little boy. I feel your pain!!!

Packof2 said...

OHHHHH...I would not like that kid giving her the ring!

Wow, so now your famous? My friend is a Celeb. manager in you think you will be needing her number? Let me know:)


metalmom said...

I really hope that was a 'ring around the bathtub you were referring to!!!

FaRaRaRaRA!!! I hope you picked up Sum yung Gai while you were in that place!

Flip Flop Momma said...

I am the DD...u can just be our sugar daddy.

well, my fans were three sheets 2 the wind, I doubt they even know why they liked me now..ha

I will let u know...hahaha...just give her my email address..hehe

well, i got one of those rings me.

Well, the look inside the place would make me think twice aout eating there...I mean my feet were totally stuck to the floor, like one of them mouse traps that are sticky....that was the floor at this place..

Anonymous said...

for once I wasn't fixated on your breasteses
DD= designated Drinker!
but i can be your SD too!

Flip Flop Momma said...

I shoulda known better then 4 u to be the other DD...hahahahahaha

Diva said...

I can't say I've ever been to a real Chinese/Japanese karoake place... Only redneck dive bars, the Cat's Meow in New Orleans, many a bar in Vegas and the world famous Big Mama's karoake Cafe/Chartbuster Studios.