Monday, January 21, 2008

I dont dance....

So, I was at Walmart the other day, and trust me, I hate it there...I mean literally.

One good thing about Walmart is you don't have to dress in anything besides pajamma bottoms. I swear every time I go there I see some mom sporting her jammie bottoms with frogs on em, or nice warm fuzzy ones with a plaid pattern...Sometimes I even see them sporting the matching tops.

It makes me wonder why. Why is Walmart the one place in the free world that people think they can go to without putting clothes on? Or say even brushing their hair?

Its like a modern day nudest camp...only your not naked, your just not wearing clothes....

I mean, I admit, I have been known to go there with my workout pants on...So I am sort of being a hypocrite...well no not really because they are not jammies...these pants serve a purpose..

I often walk into the store and feel like I have dressed for a black tied affair when it is really a Halloween party.

But the other day is when it really hit rock bottom even for Walmart..

I saw this woman and her kid...her child was dressed in those footie jammies, and she musta been at least 10....no shoes...just her jammies..

the mom was wearing...get this....not only her jammie pants, but slippers...she was wearing slippers...

and neither of them had run a brush thru their hair in weeks...u can tell...

I wanted to offer to buy them shoes and clothes....
~
Over the whole weekend the temp never got above negative 15....with the wind it was hovering around negative 40...

When you walk outside when its that cold, it sort of feels like your inhaling a porcupine.

Your lungs just hurt..

You also are sure you have a booger frozen and its dangling out of your nose, when really your nose is just freezing shut...

Your eyes feel as though a someone thru a box of nails into them...they water and it hurts to keep them open.

Its not a good feeling by any means.

trust me on this matter..

~
I have a pretty big house, almost 3,000 square feet. I have three bathrooms, one on each level of said abode.

Each bathroom has its very own crapper...imagine that...But only ONE bathroom has a tub...the other only have showers.

So why is it every time I want to take a hot bath away from the kids and hubby one of my tots needs to take a crap?...and why do they choose to use this very bathroom?

I tell them to go use the other bathrooms...yet they don't heed my warnings..

They just prance in there, and unload...

Without a care in the world....

It seems there very bowels only want to function when I am in the tub trying to drown myself.

And for some reason, this is the only crapper that can sustain this job.

And frankly, its getting to me.

Oh and a big bonus...I found my movie...those tots arent as smart as they once thought...

You can bet on it..

26 comments:

Southern Sage said...

I'm with you on Wal-Mart!!

Since your my bud and u seem to have a prob with poopin while tubbing, well not in the tub or while your in the tub but well you kno. I did some intense research to help you out. It took several hours but I have the solution!!
They have invented this brand new device, its awesome, insanely useful. They might have them in some stores around there. Its a crazy cool thing, they call it a, get this, locking door knob! you owe me bigtime now. After all that research I'm tuckerd out.

~Deb said...

Walmart: the grand location for stretchy pants and PJ's!

You know, I've been seeing more of this 'walk around in your PJ's' phenomena more and more. It's not even with Walmart anymore. It's gone far and beyond that point.

I'm scared.

Fantastagirl said...

I thought of you when I was in Wally world the other day - was very very scared - there was a person (not sure if male/female) because in pj bottoms, messy hair, and looked like fur on their teeth - and I thought to myself - WHY????

Take a shower, put on CLOTHES, comb your hair, brush your teeth, and THEN go to work!

and ~deb is right - people are doing this everywhere - not just wal-mart. Scary - where are their mothers?

Jamie Dawn said...

My son wears his slippers all the time. They are blue and comfy and he wears them with his jeans. He doesn't wear footie jammies though, and he does brush his hair occasionally.
Walmart is the place to go whenever you feel dowdy or ugly or unfashionable or fat. Spend ten minutes there, and you'll feel pretty good about yourself. Your self esteem is guaranteed to rise.
Kids have a sort of radar. That's why they FIND you and do their business every time you take a bath. It's instinct and they can't help it.

Groovy Mom said...

I hate Wal-mart too. I've seen not only the jammies but the slippers as well. And you're right. You just don't see that at any other store, but that's not why I hate it. At our Wal-mart the shelves and aisles are so cluttered and crammed with crap that you can barely get a cart through there. Plus the parking lot is full of garbage and stray carts. Then there's the nasty caramel popcorn smell that hits you when you walk in the door.

If I wanna see crap and clutter and smell stinky stuff I'll just stay home with my kids. ;-)

Tom said...

I was thinking next time I go to WallyWorld, it'll be cowboy boots and a leapord skin loincloth.
And I need to look up those "codes" they announce over the PA...the lady at our Plattsburgh one sounds like she just found out the Russians launched the missles..

Flip Flop Momma said...

SS,
oh your such a smart ass...

I would lock the door, but I have this thing w/locking my bathroom door...I just dont do it...I have this fear of getting trapped in there..and i have no window in there 4 a quick escape..

but i appriacte your efforts and all your research endovers...ur a good man...

deb,
so far I have not seen this outside of walmart...when i see it at target, i think i my get homocidal.

fantastagirl,
we have this check out "person"..we r unsure of the sex ...the hair is always a mess, they have facail hair, and arms hairy then robin williams..

and there name is Bonnie...occording 2 the name tag...go figure.

Jamie,
well as long as your tot is sporting clothes, then i hae no issue w/this...so make sure he is dressed when wearing his slippers outside your abode;)

Groovy Mom,
we have SOOOOO much in common...

Flip Flop Momma said...

tom,
i need a leopard print loincloth..

Gette said...

Ya gotta wonder about that, cuz the clothes they sell at the Evil*Empire aren't that great, but they are better than jammies...

IamDerby said...

I am so with you on Walmart!! ugh I try to avoid going there at all costs.

Katie said...

Yeah, way too cold out.

Glad you found your movie.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Gette,
your better off buying at the salvation army if u need clothes;)

Iamderby,
me too..

Katie,
the movie put a good end 2 the weekend..

just_tammy said...

I feel so over dressed when I head into Wal-Mart. Slightly superior...The last time I went there was a teenager sitting on the floor (beyond gross) eating snacks (paid for?) singing along to HSM2. I kid you not! I'm so happy you found the movie. I was afraid you might crack and join her...at least she was in jeans!

Tell your kids they are gross and to stink up another bathroom. New house rule!

The Kept Woman said...

Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...I have froggie jammmie bottoms but I think I can safely say I haven't worn them out in public.

P.S. My boogers froze at the Dells today.

Flip Flop Momma said...

tam,
yes..i really hate being over dressed...it makes me feel better then others, and i kinda like it.

tKw,
frozen boogers r no good...I told u it was cold..

I have frog jammies too...they say "kiss me"..

1 plus twins said...

omg that is too damn funny. my kids and hubby do the same damn thing. there is another bathroom with tolilet but no they have to come in where i am soaking in a nice warm tub. just bust in and take a shit. it drives me crazy. and ruins my bath. so where did you find the movie?? i thought of you friday night cuz it was on tv again. i am sure you watched it if you weren't out karokiing. man i don't miss that cold shit at all anymore. you described it just right. i did my best in ohio when it got that cold to not leave the house at all. stayed in by the fire. hope it warms up soon for you guys.

1 plus twins said...

oh yea and the pj thing i am even noticing it at the mall too. and i have noticed high school girls wearing them to school!! it is just crazy and ridiculous!

Scarlet said...

I haven't been to WalMart in a while, but it's even worse in this town. You get the curlers in the hair to go with the look you described. Another thing, it doesn't look like these types are really looking for anything in particular to buy...they just wander around like a trip to WalMart is their big activity for the day. Sad.

You need to find a lock for that bathroom door. I can't stand to even have anyone ask me a question when I'm in the bath/shower. Unless there's blood, I don't want to know about it until I get out!

Flip Flop Momma said...

1pt,
It never got this cold in Michigan when I lived there..so cold like this is new 4 me, and I aint liking it one bit..

kids need to hold the poop till mommmy is ready 2 get out:)

Scarlet,
it does seem like when u see thos people out, tha they are out on a weekly road trip...like its been a while since they got out...But still, u would think 4 such an occasion, u would put some trousers on;)

themuttprincess said...

I have no idea why people who shop at Walmart feel the need NOT to bathe, get dressed properly or whatever. It is just WRONG.

You kids and hubby have a sense about when you are trying to RELAX. They can't let that happen!!! That would just be wrong.

Foster Communications said...

I went to Wal-Fart yesterday and I DID see people in jammies! What is with that place??

Swallowing a porcupine is about the best description I've heard for this butt-clenching cold. When I got up today I saw it ws 3 and my first thought was "Oh, it's getting warmer out." How sick is that?

Janell said...

Yeah, sucking porcupines describes it perfectly!

I once went to Wallys in my plaid flannel pj bottoms, but I didn't mean to - it was a senior moment or something and I was so embarrassed I couldn't get out of there fast enough and didn't even go back there for a couple of months!

Flip Flop Momma said...

tmp,
I know..no one lieks to see us moms having a moment alone...bastards.

Jess,
I know i saw its 1 degree right now and I thought..hot damn, the cold snap is over..

Janell,
at least u felt some shame..haha

Gette said...

oh, and not only walmart, but coming to class in jammies. classy, indeed.

Patti said...

Does the door to said bathroom not have locks???
thumbs down on wearing jammies & no-brushed hair to w*l mart!

CMB said...

WalMart can be very scary. Steve was on grand jury duty and one of the cases that came through was for a flasher in OUR WalMart. Then, my FIL works in his local FL WalMart and apparently people have a lot of sex in the parking lot there. GO FIGURE?