Thursday, January 17, 2008

hot child in the city

So, I know I have talked openly about the fact I am looking forward to the day when I hit menopause. for various reasons.

Well Tuesday night I not only felt my ovaries shrivel up and die, but I am sure I sprouted a couple hairs on my chin..

Guess what Pale Girl and I did? this was so totally her idea...I would never in a million years think of this unless I was...say....70.

Yes folks, we went to play BINGO.

there we were, in a room of a bunch of old women. Me and Pale girl, the youngest bitches in the joint 4 a change.

Anyway, we were rocking hard at the bingo stuff. We even got to purchase our own dobbers...I heart dobbers..

i would be in my element about to get a Bingo when some old chaps yelled it first..I wanted to deck all of them....I wanted to take granny and run her over w/my nice shiney mini van wheels. The same wheels I drive my tots in to take them to say church, Mcdonalds and target....

Then I am listening hard, because I needed N35...and low and behold, he called it. I yelled BINGO so loud I think pale girl is trying to get the ringing out of her ears.

YUP this bitch had a BINGO and won 42 smackaroo's...thats right...

So it was the last card, and its the blackout...worth up to 1129 bucks...I had my name written all over it...

I was playing 4 cards Pale Girl playing three...And God Bless her soul, but she just could not keep up with 3 BINGO cards....she was like a deer caught on a semi's windshield...Bless her cotton socks.

Needless to say I didn't win the jackpot...

So, we will hit it again next Tuesday...gonna play bingo with the granny's again...

cause that's how we roll.

sonsabitches...


oh and today is pale girls birthday...she is 35...not only pale, but old too.

34 comments:

Krystal said...

I'd like to go play Bingo. I don't think they have it anywhere around here...

Flip Flop Momma said...

Krystal,
it was pretty damn fun...our local VfW post has it every tuesday, ur welcome 2 join us;)

1 plus twins said...

omg jaye (just a mom) played bingo with the old people too last night. she won too!! it must have been national steal from the old people night. lol you two should be ashamed of yourselves. lol

Southern Sage said...

Goddang 35 and still alive???????
Sheeeeeesh
abusing the blue haired women
shame on you!
now take Pale Rider out and t her some booze wouldja?
SS

Flip Flop Momma said...

1pt,
oh thats funny...guess i was the only out tramping the bingo circut;)

SS,
well, i am taking her out 4 dinner, and then she wants 2 sit at the bar till midnight...good times good times...

Cimba7200 said...

My, you sure do lead an exciting life! Good on you! - Dave

Flip Flop Momma said...

dave,
yup...thats how I roll..

KrazyMom said...

We went and played bingo at the casino with some friends...he won $350.00! I love bingo!

Granny said...

I haven't played in years but now you have me thinking about it.

Congratulations. I don't think I've ever won even the price of admission.

Granny said...

P. S. Meant to wish your friend Pale Girl a Happy Birthday.

Groovy Mom said...

My best friend spotted my first chin hair when I was sixteen. Dang thing was 3 inches long! I've been obsessively on the lookout for them ever since. Now I find about one a day. :-P

I used to play bingo with my mom all the time. I should take her to play again. That was fun. She can do like a hundred cards at one time, though. It's scary.

Foster Communications said...

I played bingo once-and I won a hundred damn dollars!! Woo Hoo for you!

Katie said...

I went to play bingo with Cheeky & Mr. Cheeky, they laughed at me, I got the electronic cards. If I would've gotten a Bingo, it would've told me. I had to do nothing.

Avery Gray said...

I've never played Bingo at one of those parlors, but we play it at my husband's family reunions with all the old people who play it all the time. Good Lord, those people are serious about their Bingo! I almost got shivved by his great aunt. She came out of nowhere!

Jamie Dawn said...

I wouldn't mind being 35 again. I'm on my last leg at age 44. It's a wonder I don't need a walker yet.
:-)
Bingo is FUN!!! I played it before we moved here, and I won some embroidered pillow cases. I felt like a spring chicken amongst all those older ladies.
They had good food there too!!
I ALWAYS remember the food!

CMB said...

Sounds like fun! Too bad you did not win the big one...maybe next time.

Flip Flop Momma said...

thanks 4 ur comments...I dont have time to respond indivaully..

but bingo does rock people..

i will b back later...

just_tammy said...

Glad you had a blast playing bingo. Now you have a down payment on a dryer or the money to treat ole pale girl to dinner. Of course I am older and paler so what does that make me - a corpse?!

Patti said...

Happy Birthday Pale Girl!

Ooh I love love love bingo but you can't find a good church hall game down south.

Yippeeskip said...

I had a dream that I went to prison in a town that Half Mexican Mama lived. She came to visit me. Pretty freaky.

Flip Flop Momma said...

tam,
well i only won 42 bucks, is that down payment worthy?

Patti,
we play at the bar..haha

yippee,
well there is no prison in our small town...but she has visited the jail on plenty of occaisons..hehe

themuttprincess said...

BINGO!

You are officially old now too.

I had a hankering to go play, and well, I am embarassed.

The Kept Woman said...

My 3rd grade teacher (who was not old) would play Bingo on Wednesday nights and if she won she's buy a bag of hard candy and we'd each get a candy the next day.

God bless Bingo!!!

Marel Lecone said...

$42?!?! That is so worth going! :)

Humincat said...

I'm proud you haven't caved yet, though now that I say it, you probably will. Just remember, your kids are way cuter in single vision. (is that a word?)

Kathryn Magendie said...

Menopause ain't so bad -- in fact, I feel better than I have in years -- I was always moody and menopause "evened me out" - but I cuss more - huhn..isn't that weird? anyway...hell, *shrug*

But...last night I dreamed I grew this really thick mustache and beard thing and when I tried to pluck them out, they wouldn't budge, so I was going to wax them, but people kept interrupting me and I was trying to hide....erk....

That's my only complaine about mental-pause -- worrying about damn hair crap!

anyway, visiting from Michael's blog - I saw "flip flop" and was curious - since flip flops show up in my stories a lot - laugh

Janell said...

The Bingo thing was a good plan for you two to make you feel younger. I always seek out a crowd of really OBESE people when I want to feel thin.

As for getting your movie back, try disabling all the audio and video equipment in the house and hold those cables & usb ports hostage until they cough it up.
Or you could try singing the songs and acting out all the parts in your kitchen and refuse to stop until they either
a) start applauding or
b) give it back.

Choppzs said...

Huh, you mean Bingo's not fun? and I thought I was living on the wild side every Sunday night!!

SWIZZLE STICK said...

Saw this quiz and thought of you. BTW, my song is Livin' on a Prayer!

http://www.blogthings.com/whatsyourkaraokethemesongquiz/

Cliff said...

This is funny stuff C.
Let me get this straight. You try to burn the skin off of the boys arm with a toxic waste chemical and now you leave the kids to go play bingo.
This sounds harsh but since you won a pot...it's okay.

Doozie said...

I totally want in on some of that action, because you can whip the old peoples butts due to their arthritis and slow reflexes

Scarlet said...

Bingo?? I can't imagine it being any fun unless I go with you and pale girl and WON!

Packof2 said...

I have always wanted to do that. Never have. I heard those bingo playing women are hard core! True?

S

Gunfighter said...

Nick Gilder. I remember that song.