Tuesday, January 29, 2008

its better 2 burn out, then fade away.

I admit I have the patience about as far and wide as an amoeba. And we all know we cant see those with the nekkid eye.



I fancy myself as a work in progress when it comes to patience. I try, I really do. My kids though, God bless them, make me want to make my hubbys receding hairline a little more receding..I don't much wanna pull my hair out, but I don't mind pulling someone else's out...cause I am cool like that.



Every so often my patience gets abused by other beings then my birthed kin.



Take today 4 example.



this does not happen often, but today I wanted to go to Subway and get a turkey breast sub...I was totally in the mood to eat a 6 inch on Italian Herb and Cheese bread.



it has 6 grams of fat or less, Jared says so....



Our Subway has a drive thru, and this is how I partake of such things, because damn it, when its cold who wants to actually have to get out of a nice warm vehicle?



not me for gosh by golly darn sakes.



I have Boo with me, because she is a happy retard and is only in pre school and it was not school time yet...so rather then have her sit home with the dog and unload the dishwasher, vacuum and answer the door when strangers knock, I used better judgement and brought her with.



Now as soon as we pull into the drive thru she tells me that chicken nuggets are not sold here...



no crap....



I told her I would get her some nuggets and the golden arches are right next to subway, so it was making her nervous that I passed the golden arch drive way...



I pull up to the speaker and wait for the happy minimum wage workers to ask what I wanted today.



I wait...and wait...



I finally honk my horn to get their attention..



hello, this desperate woman in the blue mini van wants to eat..hello asswipes, get your head out of the cheese slices and get your ass to the window..golldangit.



nothing..nothing..



Boo tells me to honk again..



By this time a good 7 minutes has passed, and my patience runs out at around 32 seconds.



I know if they were to take my order now, it would not be a pretty sight, and I had my baby with me, and my baby thinks I am her "blue eyed girl"...and I cant risk wrecking that.



I tell her that momma is leaving because people here aren't working today...



Just then, just as I put my car in drive...I hear...



can I take your order please



Now I could of taken the high road...I could of informed them that I had been waiting 4 some time but I understand that maybe they were busy..



BUT



I didn't.



this is more or less what transpired between me and whomever was on the receiving end of this..



oh, you want to take my order?...Well, I was ready to give u my order ten minutes ago, instead you ignored me, made me waste gas just sitting here and now you think I am going to place an order here?....hmmmm....nope, not gonna happen buddy..instead I am going to drive right by your window and wave at you...with a happy little finger..I understand you have a galloping case of the stupids today but its not my problem..and I want that on Honey Wheat Bread with NO cheese..



then I drive by the window, as its the only way to get out of said drive thru...stop, knock on the window and flip the bird..



I know, I know...I set a very bad example 4 my wee one...But she needs to learn the ropes on how to deal with asshats...and I am a damn good teacher 4 such encounters.



So we head to the golden arches so my baby can have her deep fried chicken and chocolate milk.



Cause I am a good momma.



we get to the window to pay and she says..



now momma, u need to give them money, don't knock on the window and wave, then leave my chicken here like u did your samich.



Oh my poor sweet 4 year old...







sonsabitches.

33 comments:

Groovy Mom said...

LOL! Smart little thing.

Oh, that would be frustrating, though. One time I went to McD's to order cheeseburgers for the guys at work. When I ordered them the drive thru gal says, "I'm sorry we don't serve cheeseburgers until 10:30."

I said, "Huh? Isn't it 10:30 now?"

She said, "It's 10:29."

I was so pissed. She wouldn't take my freakin' cheeseburger order. So I pulled into a parking space, stormed inside, and said, "It's 10:30 now, get me the damn cheeseburgers." I still had to wait 15 minutes. :-P

Flip Flop Momma said...

Groovy MOm,
I had that happen once..they told me they wont serve lunch 4 3 more minutes, so I told her I would wait right here until they did..there were 4 cars behind me..and i sat right there..

bastards.

Fantastagirl said...

Subway has a drive thru? I want my subway to have a drive thru, but then, I wouldn't be able to yell - HEL-LO I'm here come wait on me!

Working Mom said...

lol

just_tammy said...

They wouldn't give you your turkey samich so you gave them the bird. Makes sense to me...I miss having a drive thru at Subway. Now I have to bribe someone to go in and order for me.

Love that Boo!

Flip Flop Momma said...

fantastagirl,
well, it does, but it aint worth shit..

working mom,
;)

tam,
well from now on, i am boycotting the whole eat fresh chain...bastards.

Foster Communications said...

You're right! You had to teach her the ropes on how to deal with asshats!

And that took some serious willpower to give up the sub. Now I'm craving a 6 inch veggie sub. Yum.

Southern Sage said...

Why you gotta be so mean for? Those people are hard working folks. I am probably less patient than you tho I know the drive off from the drive through.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Jess,
she has to learn not to let those folks walk all over her;)

SS,
well, I must contest I think my patience is less then most normal human beings...My tolernace is low and I will blow when ticked..

and if they was hard woring, the asshole who was suppose to be in charge of said drive thru woulda been at his post...right?

:)

Scarlet said...

LOL I love her! That Boo is the sweetest little thing.

As for you, my dear, you are a woman who is not a hypocrite. You speak your mind, God bless you for that...and yes, kids need to learn early on that even a good Christian doesn't have to grin and bare it when a lesson must be taught.

Giving the bird though...I don't know about that one, although I thought it was a nice finale. :)

Flip Flop Momma said...

Scarlet,
I am a bird flyer...I admit it.

4 what its worth, I dont think he even saw it..

*sigh*

gel said...

She takes after you. LOL! There ARE times to say what is on your mind. You were still more polite than what you were obviously thinking... or what my (ahem) mind is thinking!

Oh, how I remember those time crunches and grrr to waiting and waiting. It's hard enough to balance the mom stuff w/out others not doing their jobs. My teens are still hungry! And still want chicken nuggets when I want something else...

Bradley's Mom said...

Ah, Flip Flop.........your stories are so funny, as always!

I loved this one, and also the Chinese karaoke! What a riot!

But don't let every little thing get to you, dear..........this stress is NOT good for your health!

You know I worry about you!

Love,
Linda

icanseeclearlynow said...

LOL! you are sooo rotten! but fuuuunnnyy!

:)

maria

Katie said...

I love it. I too would be pissed, but that's funny.

Katie said...

I love it. I too would be pissed, but that's funny.

1 plus twins said...

oh sweet boo. love is blind and he she loves you so much she chose to ignore your rampage. god love her!!

Flip Flop Momma said...

gel,
if i woulda said and did what I was thinking, i woulda been arrested;)

I think I need anger mangement;)

Ma Linda,
I cant help it, stress follows me like a good set of birthing hips..I try ma, I do;)

Icansee,
I am rotten..hehe

Katie,
i thought it was rather amusing, made me feel so much better;)


1pt,

I know, she looks past all my flaws..ha

mrs. parker said...

lol. learn it now girlie- save yourself the stress later.

i have a love /hate relationship with drivethrus myself- however not one SUBWAY has a drive thru here. interesting. and the service INSIDE Subway is SLOWWWwww. It takes a pretty big craving to leave my minivan and go in.

mrs. parker said...

Heu foster- that's my sub...6in veggie, hearty italian, the works and light mayo. If I were going, which I'm not. Damn, I might need to now.

themuttprincess said...

You did exactly what any good American would. I would hold my head high if I were you!

Boo is adorable!

catrina said...

I'm here every day, but sadly, I'm usually just a lurker. Love your blog (and I come here for a laugh or two when I'm on the verge of insanity), and was wondering what's up with Half Mexican Mama. I hope she's OK---I miss her!

Flip Flop Momma said...

mrs parker,
well, as u can cleary gather, the drive thr aint worth shit..haha...

I get the turkey breats with cucmebers, pickles and olives..ok i need 2 stop cause now i wanna go go one, but i am boycotting..

tmp,
haha...I am holding it as high as I can...trying desprately not to go back and try again today;)

Catrina,
well u know what I do with lurkers, take em out back and hog tie em..

HHM is good..I talk to a couple times a week..I am thinking she does not have internet, and only gets on at the library..

but she is good...

thanks 4 asking aout her..

oh and thanks 4 the comment;)

CMB said...

You got it right sonsabitches! I can not take it when people just do not want to do their damn jobs. You taught Boo one very valuable lesson...

metalmom said...

Lesson learned!

Or not!

Janell said...

Girl, I am aking you with me next time I have to go car shopping!

Janell said...

And we can stop at Quizno's for lunch.

Krystal said...

OMGoodness I'm laughing so hard! God bless Boo!

Krystal said...

If we're sharing drive-through horror stories...

A McD's in Florida screwed up my order at the driver-through. I went back to the drive-through and the manager said I had to go in to have it fixed. I told them that they screwed it up at the drive-through they could fix it at the drive-through because I was very pregnant and I wasn't waking my kids because they can't make a damned cheeseburger plain.

They told me I had to move. I told them to feel free to call the cops. And I sat there, during the 5:30 rush, for nearly ten minutes. All these cars behind me were getting pissed and leaving. They finally fixed my order.

As an added bonus, the manager in charge who told me, "I can get a job anywhere" got fired two days later after I called my sister at the corporate office.

Yuppers, gotta be careful who you mess with at the drive-through. They just might have a relative that's been with the company for three decades and is friends with the company's President and CEO.

Flip Flop Momma said...

CMB,
if we dont tell them off once ina while, who will?..ha

metalmom,
I know I learned one, the jackwipes at subway arent sure how to man handle the drive thru;)

Janell,
oh, I am sooo good at car shopping..when we bought our new van 4 years ago, i did all the barging, u can bull shit a bull shiter is what I told him..haha

MMMM...toasty.

Krystal,
OMG, now thats priceless...

Slick said...

If I lose my job and somehow become a waiter, I hope and pray I never have to serve your table ...

Unless you're a good tipper ;)

Flip Flop Momma said...

SLick,
well I have big boobs and normally show cleavage, maybe that will make up 4 the no tip;)

Diva said...

Precious! Patience of an ameoba!
Me too.

Popped over from Sage's pages....glad I did. You're a hoot!