Thursday, November 02, 2006

Run Riot

There are some things I hate. I will give u some examples

Cold weather
kids that talk back
scrubbing my tubs
mopping
getting up in the morning...

the list goes on....BUT one thing I really HATE is when people come knocking at my door wanting me to join their cult, I mean religion...As you all know, I make no bones about religion. Do I believe in God?..Yup sure do...Do I believe Christ died for our sins?..Yup sure do...

looks like Bossy is going to Heaven after all folks...

What I cant stand is people going door to door throwing their damn pamphlets in my face. As soon as I see they are prowling the area, I keep a watchful eye, waiting for them to come hither.

The door knocks. I go to the door. Its freezing cold..I say " what can I do for you"

The woman looks at me, and says " can I talk to you a minute about the word of God?"

this is me..

please don't take this the wrong way , but I am not interested in what your patrolling the streets with. Being a part of a religion is not like being a vacuum salesman, there for I am going to show you the same respect I just showed the Kirby guy last week...NO THANK YOU...

Now to me that is pretty straight forward. No bones about it. I was not wanting to hear their speak.

Now this woman says " so u don't want to take a moment to discuss false religion?"

with you mam, no I don't, because I feel what your spewing is false religion, if u care to have a debate about this with me, why don't you come back when my husband comes home, he is currently a seminary student and I am sure he would LOVE to sit and chat with you about all this.......

Then the woman looks at me like I have two heads. Maybe I did, I don't know...And she says..." I will leave u with this, please read it if u want....."

I don't want to but thank you......

But she puts it in my hand anyway...

and I throw it on my counter.....Then after a few hours I see it sitting there and begin to look at it....This is some excerpts of what she left me..

if more people practiced versions of what the Jehovah's witnesses preach and practice, the holocaust could have been prevented and genocide would scourge no more.

then it goes on to tell about the beast that will come to Earth and eat my flesh for not being a Jehova's witness...

What the hell kind of mixed up shit is that? How is that going to sway me to join? How is that going to get me to say " holy crap, I am in the wrong religion"

its not...

And who the hell wants to be a part of a religion where they don't celebrate birthdays?....hmmm...Answer me that?...That's bullpucky.

Aint no religion gonna take MY birthday away !.

~

I have noticed that when I take Boo to the potty she has some enlightening conversation materiel. This was us today...

momma u know hanny manny? His name not really hanny, it just manny..

momma u know butterflies really cant talk....

momma, I wike watching dora..She is funny

My baby...aint she cute.

As I am seated on the couch with a pile of DOTS and tootsie rolls in front of me...back off they are fat free people... she says..

"momma u gonna get tummy ache."

not more then an hour later I had to sit on the john for an hour while my intestines were punishing me with the sugar overload I had given them...How the hell does she know this?...She is 3.

I should be telling HER she will be getting a tummy ache...Damn I love this kid.
~

my kids got toothbrushes for Halloween..Little toothbrushes ...How damn clever is that? I thought Carmen was on to something with the playdough, but toothbrushes?..That pure damn genius right there....

~

I will leave you with a bit more of my pamphlet reading..If u care to join this cult, let me know and I wil forward their info on to you, because Bossy is here for the people..

soon amazing events will take place, the ten horns that u saw and the wild beast, these will hate the harlot and will make her devastated and naked, and will eat up her fleshy parts and will completely burn her with fire..

sounds divine huh?..Everyone knows how much I love being naked..

Bee Real


50 comments:

Peggy said...

When the JW came knocking on my door I reminded them that they believe only a certain number will be in heaven and aren't they afraid they have already reached it. They do celebrate birthdays though so your birthday is safe. They don't celebrate any other holiday though. I had a neighbor that was JW. They don't believe in voting or pledging the flag or support military. Not knocking their religion but how can they enjoy the freedom and not support our troops giving up their homelife to make sure we have one... will get off my soapbox now. Everyone is free to have their own religion and beliefs.. just don't try to force them on others. Now where are my pamplets so I can go knock on your door???? LOL
Give boobee a hug for me.. she is such a doll

Jo said...

Amen, I hate door knockers, seriously if I'm interested in something I will look into it.

Take it to another vein, I hate it when I go through drive thru.. order what you want.. then they ask "do you want any deserts with that" .... "SERIOUSLY if I wanted damn desserts I would have ordered it".. poor girl that worked there.. must have been pmt'ish..lol

So if we want something or interested in something we look into it... we do not need preachers at our door step..

"No thanks, dont want anything"
and slam the door... well if its kids selling chocolates thats a different story...lol

gal artist said...

They must be trying to fill their quota, they came a knockin at my door the other day.

I remember one time, my friend K started to talk to them about the Holy Spirit, apparently they don't believe in the HS, and she was saying things like, 'You can't feel the HS? Really?' and they started backing up from her and eventually running as she yelled, "I feel HIM! Hallelulah, I feeeeel the Holy Spirit!!"

She scared the crap right out of them, they probably thought she was a crazy lady.

Well, she is crazy, but that's besides the point.

ROTF

Your Boo Bee is adorable. :)

eyes_only4him said...

Peggy,
a frined of mine was a JW for 30 years..they did not celebrate birthdays..they dont ebivle u celebrate your birthday untill you meet ur maker..or some stupid shit..so on her birthday we could not as so much as tell her happy birthday or even give her a card...

she clebrates her BD now by gosh, she no longer affliates herslef with that church anymore, thank goodness..

Little jen,
amen..I hate when I am in the dirve thru and when I am done giving them my order I say...PURPOSLY..that will be it..then they ask..will that be everything?"..do they even freakin listen?damnit..

Deni,
yes it must be quota season for the land of the crazies...once mr shaky acctually threaten JW with the cops becuase they would not leave...and if anyone knows mr shaky, that is totally not his charcter to threaten police action:)

Karin said...

Oh Bossy let me tell you our family secret for getting rid of religious door knockers. One day my dad was out in the front yard doing yard work. At the time it involved sawing something apart with a chainsaw. A pamphlet toting zealot came up to him and yelled over the sound of the chain saw excuse me sir. My Father lifted up with saw still roaring and faced the lady and looked very gruff and said What! The lady turned and ran back down the driveway. It was 10 years before any other religious group came down our driveway.

eyes_only4him said...

Karin,
OMG..that is way too funny..if I knew how to man handle one of them, I would so do that;)

aatank said...

The last time they came to my door I just started preaching to them about my religion and asked if they would like to join me at church on Sunday. They quickly responded, "No thank you" and left quickly.

When we have a telemarketer call our house we give the phone to the 2 yr old and let her sing the ABC'c for them then we hang up.

eyes_only4him said...

aatank,
I often have let Boo ansower the phone when they call...the thing is they keep talking to her..I can ehar them say " is your mommy there? and she says ya she right here..it cracks me up everytime...but she keeps talking..

the other day she told them she was watching handy manny...i am sure they think this kid lives alone:)

Anonymous said...

i love harlots
harlots are good people
harlots are my friend
and I like them better naked.
I was looking for the downside until I got to the flesh eating part.
I'm witht hem on the birthday thing, stay with me now, everyone should give their momma a present on their birthday, why would you give someone a gift because they lived another year? wouldnt it be wiser to give your momma a gift I mean she toted your sorry ass in her guts for 9 months, squeezed your fat self out, allowed you to cause her hips to spread, your teats to sag and that was all before you were old enough to walk!!!! You owe her!
ok
YHC is out!!!!!

Unknown said...

Man, thank God the Jesus people never come to my house...well except my parents but we have to let them in.

eyes_only4him said...

Cracker,
wait....so ur saying my teats are sagging?..I mean I am a mother now?..damn...

but i will be damned if i am giving my mom a gift on my birthday, but my kids should sure as hell give me stuff on their birthday...

TKW,
yes, same here..only its my hubby who is the Jesus talker...and i have to let him in to..

Me said...

OMG, I hate people like that. I just don't answer the door cuz I can see who they are before they see me most times. Don't push your shit on me thanks.

The kiddies were too cute for Halloween!!! Loved Boo's little getup!

Cliff said...

You handled the J.W's very well. Thanks!!

eyes_only4him said...

WethyB,
yes dont push crap on me either..but I do like to answer the door only so I can show them the door;)

Cliff,
somehow I dont get the feeling your impressed:)

pack of 2 said...

a JW came to my friend's house when I was on the phone with her today...they are pushy as crap.

I know a guy that used to try to push religion at the airport...lol....it's that guy Taylor that we have talked about.

Shelly

eyes_only4him said...

Shelly,
well today musta been a day marked on all thier calanders...cuz they was hittin the pavement here..

and a few bloggers made mention they were bothered by them today as well..

i shoulda posted what the said about gays...but i did not want to cause an uproar:)

Anonymous said...

so, here's my feelings, the JW's aren't going to bait anyone in with that kind of crazy talk. i wonder, really what are the stats'. how many people do they actually convert? and i would say, ZERO. they don't care if they convert. you know why? it's the whole thing with people being rude to them, and slamming the door in their face they're after. because, they are not there to "save" anyone, they are there to "martyr" themselves which they think helps them get to heaven. they are whacked.

Anonymous said...

and previously when i've been low on toilet paper, their papers come in mighty "handy"

eyes_only4him said...

suzie,
yes what u say is true..although mr shaky told me today that the next time they come here i am to ask them why i would want to convert to a cult that oly allows the chosen few into heaven ayway..and that dont belive in the Holy Spirit..I think he is kinda pissed off he was not here when they came;)

and yes, it makes for good ass wiping matarail:)

Deb said...

Oh GAWD---I remember once this lady came to my door and it was below zero out. She had a little girl with her about 8 yrs old with NO COAT on... So what does a decent normal human being do? Of course---invite them in, because the girl is freezing to death! But they were preaching 'the good word', but their approach was so intrusive!!!

Jesus celebrated his birthday...isn't that what Christmas is about?

*scratches head*

I don't get it. I don't knock it...but it's just not for me.

eyes_only4him said...

Deb,
well I could be wrong, but I dont think they think Jesus is who we think of Him as being, he was not Christ ...they belive only a choosen few get into heaven, and that there is no Holy Spirit..

I dont get it myself..I mean I totally get all other relgoins, Jewish, Budsts, Muslims..those make sence to me...this one makes no damn sence to me

what makes it hard for me is Prince is JW, but i would have to let it slide should he want to marry me one day;0

Anonymous said...

well i surely refuse to take a hard position on your breasteses
i have proof neither way.
I was simply stating the reality of alot of girl female women that birthed lil crumb crunchers.
It is all worth it in the long run when you birth a child by me tho, take Butch for example, my buddy, see whats a bit of saggation when you get to parent 3 wonderful pure yearlings????
j

Cliff said...

Then you'd be wrong BB. They need to stay away.
When they hand you their material hand it back and say, "throw it away yourself."

Unknown said...

When they come to our door.. hubby tells them that we are penecostal(spelling). They turn tail and run. Which we arent but it works.

Your Boo is way too smart!!

eyes_only4him said...

Jd Rose,
well the onnly reason I answer it, is so I can tell them to get off my prpoerty;)

Cracker,
u may have a point there..and I have birthed way too many crumb crunchers!

Cliff,
ok I was worried I had dissapointed u..thank u for clearifying that for me!

Neortic1,
yup...ur damned for sure...get some pepto drink it all up and say the Lords prayer 5 times fast..then u should be ok..

couse that is all occording the my pamplet;)

Brandy,
well whatver works!...I just like to have the chance to tell someone to get off my proeporty or Ill shoot..even though I dont own a gun;)

Unknown said...

That sounds a little like the comment I got on my blog! Now the Jehova's are online and going blog to blog apparently. And I personally love how "annonymous" felt the need to persecute people who have tattoos (I have 3), plastic surgery (boobs and nose here) and sex before marriage (daughter with my boyfriend and Damn glad I made that "mistake"). People have some nerve. I hate when people push their beliefs on you.

Unknown said...

Oh and maybe next time you should just answer the door naked. A friend's ex did that and they never came back to his house.

Kendra Lynn said...

LOL...I hate when Mormons or JW's come to my door. I usually don't answer it if they look "witnessy".
I have my OWN beliefs..don't need theirs!

Kendra

eyes_only4him said...

Kristen,
I know that comment on your blog was just damn bizzare...I dont care if the JW come here to my blog and start a fight, because I am ready and willing for that one, but when they come knocking at my, it pisses me off..


I have 5 tattos, and plans on getting a 6th, had LOTS of prematiral sex...and would love some plastic surgey if I could afford it;)

eyes_only4him said...

Kendra,
I have never had a mormon come to my door, just those dang JW..and they are some weird people I tlel u what!

KrazyMom said...

Had to catch up on all of your posts. Sorry. Those damn jahova witnesses left pamphlets in my door, but never rang the bell. Damn! I am sick with strep throat, not speaking to my a hole husband, and have a house full of crabby kids...I would have loved to give them a piece of my mind on their "correct religion"! Spoiled all of my fun.

True_Floridian Momma said...

We live in a gated community, so no JW come knocking here. We could call the police. Awwww, the beauty of a gated community...definately has it's advantages!

Claire said...

I swear, my old local JWs knew exactly when my favourite shows were on. I wanted a teeshirt saying 'I already have a perfectly good religion, thanks!'.

Cxx

eyes_only4him said...

Kelly,
sorry ur not feeling well...and ur not talking to the hubby huh?..dang..good for u..haha...

well when i see them coming i wait, i do like it when they knock, only so I can tell them to leave:)

Angie,
I live in a agted commuity too..but they can open up my front gate..haha

Claire,
haha..thats too funny..I need a shirt that says that..ebtter yet a sign for my yard:)

Anonymous said...

Oh boy, I guess I'm going to get some flack attacks for writing this but man, sometimes I can't believe all the misinformation that is so widely believed about JW's. It's seriously like a game of telephone, one person says one thing and it gets disjointed and messed up all the way down the road and people still believe things without examining them and reasoning about them. Why, I wonder is it so easy for people to believe all sorts of garbage that they hear and yet if it's about God suddenly it's out of bounds. The accusations against imperfect people by imperfect people most of whom (not all) who haven't really taken the time to respectfully research it with an open mind are flodding our world. Intollerance and disrespect is washing our decency and love for one another away. I love meeting people who differ with me, because it's an opportunity to talk, share, discuss, learn and improve understanding. WHat they do with the information I've passed on in my point of view and what I do with the information they've passed on to me hopefully will make us both grow in respect and is a matter of personal choice.

Who of us is to judge Jesus and Paul and all the apostles who did the same door to door work every day - would we say the same things to them? I highly doubt it. I mean Jesus told us to imitate him... how each one of us (or those who choose to believe in him) do that is up to their own interpretation and study of the bible.

It's not about what the "JW's" believe or what the "Watchtower" believes or wants, it's about what God wants of us. We all have to account to him personally with our own behaviour and he is the only one who can truly read our hearts. It's about our personal relationship with him, and how we demonstrate that. How do we treat our neighbours? with love, how do we imitate Jesus in our own lives. Do we give food and water to the starving and thirsting enemy, or do we plot wicked things like the book of proverbs says not to do. ie: "Oh, next time they come to my door i'm goin to... that will scare them or insult them" Is that really how Jesus wants us to treat others and think of them? What does that say about us? I don't hate a Catholic because of others in their faith did to the Cathars, nor a German for what the Nazi's did, nor a Muslim for what the Taliban does for instance. God says in the bible that HE will destroy the wicked, not the catholics, the muslims, the mormons, the pagans - but the wicked, all the wicked wherever they are, in whatever guise they live by.

When I knock on your door I am truly interested in what you believe and I respect that you have come to those choices by rational thought and study. Sharing values and ideas isn't the same as the forced conversions that have taken place in history. If some one has come to your door and insulted you, I am sorry, but as when someone comes to my door, I try to see the person as a person first and show an interest in them and what they are doing and saying. I listen and have met some very lovely people with whom I disagree with on a number of things, however when it comes right down to it, we always tend to agree on more things than we disagree and that brings us closer as human beings.

Anonymous said...

Oh ya and Prince is a witness now too.
Look carefully at who's knocking!

For people who are seriously interested in finding out the truth about what JW's believe (not to convert just learn for yourself) ... http://watchtower.org

Unknown said...

iPastor invites them in and drinks coffee and questions them. Usually sends them packin' a-scratchin' they heads. Gotta commend 'em for taking seriously the "Witness" part of their faith, but after careful study (with a nod to "one of them!") the repeated false prophecies of former JW leaders alone is enough to cast doubt on the content of their teachings. Also the tendency to believe any leader's interpretation of the Bible rather than examining the WHOLE thing for themselves.
Back to the snarky--ask 'em to pray with you. It's a no-no to pray with the unwashed.
I wonder if they were doing an "All Saint's Day" push or something?

eyes_only4him said...

one of them..
i am just heading to work so I dont have time to read your whole comment, but will when I get home..I was hoping one of u would come shed some light on why u bother us door to door, but i did not read ur comment yet, but as soon as I have time to read it fully, I will get u a response..

Anonymous Fat Blogger said...

Cannot stand when people go door to door trying to tell you about their religion. If I'm interested in your religion I would more than likely take it upon myself to learn about it.

I had a friend in school that was JW. I felt bad for her because she hated it. She felt left out of everything. And she didn't believe what her parents believed. And no, I didn't feel sorry for her being a JW, I felt bad for her not wanting to be one and her parents were forcing it on her (just in case someone takes it the wrong way).

Jennifer said...

Well said..

eyes_only4him said...

ok one of them...

I dont have a probelem with your relgoin, or any for that matter. Where my trouble begins is when u knock on my door and want to talk to me about it. Seroiusly if people were looking for a church they would go seek it out. What they are doing when they go door to door is invading our space and trying to pass out their brouchers to people who really are not intersted. Now this being said, if they want to get the word of of thier church, then each church needs to take out ads in the paper saying the times of service or hell send out flyers in the mail, if someone wants to read it, fine..But when u go to my door and stand there...asking ME if I want to know about the Lord, that is an invasion of my privacy.

I dont care what relgoin you are, when u go to a total strangers door you make them feel uncomfortable, and naucios..*sp*

There is enough room in the world for everyone to pracitce whatever relgoin..or not..they so chose...thats the beuaty of this world..

I do not go door to door with my Bible trying to get anyone to attned The Untied Methodist Church I go to every Sunday. In passing u can mention it to frineds, if they ask...But its not something you bring up to toal strangers who are not asking for relgoius advice..

And from what I have heard, and I have the little pamplet right here in front of me..only a chosen few are going to Heaven according to this....so why would I want to be a part of a reglon that tells me even though I am a good person, I belive in the HOLY SPIRT and Jesus died for me, and that God is a forgiving GOD..that I wont be going to Heaven just becaise I am not one of the chosen few...makes know sence to me..

what relgoin preaches that?...not mine, and thats the way I like to keep it..

I thank you for giving your point of view on this matter. My whole point to this was I dont like anyone knocking on my door begging for anything, rather it be a vacume salesman, a holy roller, or an elected offcail begging for votes Tuesday...its all the same to me...its an annoyance...thats all I am saying..

gette,
amen sista..

Denise,
I know...isnt it the worst to be bothered like that..if we wanted to know about it we would come looking..

Jennifer,
thank you.

Jamie Dawn said...

We don't grow Jehovah's Witnesses here in AR.
If they show up here, the Baptists run them over with their trucks and bury them in the back yard.

MommaMonkey said...

Yea, I have a problem with people knocking at my door telling me what to believe. If I'm loooking for something, I've got the Internet, and I will search it out on my own. I think you handled yourself very well. :) I would have just closed the shades and walked away.

Your Bee sounds like one smart girl! I bet she she grows up to be a gastric-surgen! Just think, if she knows that too much sugar will make you poop now, she'll be a genius when she is older!

Crista said...

That's some crazy shit! When I was in college in a small city, it used to drive me CRAZY when complete strangers would walk up to/sit next to me on the train and start in on religion. I got really upset with one once who refused to leave me alone when I politely refused to talk to him.

Boo sounds like quite the smarty! And cutie indeed. :)

eyes_only4him said...

Jamie,
I need to move in with u then..I go the shovel;)

Blazer,
Exactly!..we can research our own crap..dont need them..

Momma Bee,
that woulda drove me mad..I cant be polite after a while, thats my problem;)

Angela said...

I was brought up in a Baptist Church and when I married I converted to Catholic.
I personally don't have a problem with folks going door to door to pass out Religious pamplets and trying to pass out the works and words of the Lord. My problem is when they make you feel pressured. God doesn't want to be forced upon anyone who chooses not listen or want to know him. You would be surprised though that there are people out there who are too intimidated to go to a church they have never been before. And there are some that don't know God. I say share God's love and word, but if some one says no thank you then respect their choice.. Just sayin:-).
Your lil boo bunny is just tooo precious:-).

Anonymous said...

Bossy,
I talked to a Jehovah's Witness on my porch once when I was in college. I had time on my hands so I listened to the sermon. I then started to play with her head. I got this poor JW so riled up that she told me I was "doomed to eternal damnation". I told her to get the hell off my porch.
That was fun!

Unknown said...

Oh I hear ya I hate the cold and kids that talk back. I got that all day yesterday from the boy.

Anonymous said...

Religious people at my door might be worse than barking dogs. So irritating.

And I absolutely hate the cold. Winter can just go away.

eyes_only4him said...

Kailiblue,
well i totaly hate when they intrude on my personl time to trya nd discuss the goings on of thier "relgoin"..really if i wanted to know about it, I would ask them..ya no what i mean?

Jerry,
now we're talkin!

Daoktoa,
yup I get that everyday too..

Jess,
yes it would be worse then barking dogs...although I do think dogs have a tad more common sence then these people..