Friday, November 10, 2006

Rock Brigade

Ok I am posting for Friday today, because after I get home Friday morning at 0600..( for you retards that's 6am) I wont feel like writing my prize winning crap..So I am being nice and giving your diaper full of diarrhea today..cuz I love u guys..

So where do I start..Oh I know..Remember the guy I was talking about a few days ago? The one who was close personal friends with Jesse Ventura and claimed if he brought him a thimble full of water as I did, not only would he stir it with his fuc*ing brains, but the bastard would kick him!...That guy..Remember?..

well when I got to work Wednesday night there was a note in our log book..This is what it said and I quote.

"don't go in Mr Jackhammers room alone, as his mind is empty"

No shit you don't say. If u thought for one second I would walk into his cell alone, then u must be on crack or u think I am..

But next to that was this..

never mind, he has been committed to the mental hospital..

oh you don't say ....

I went to work Wed night thinking it would be a peaceful night..I was wrong...I ended up booking in 9 inmates. I did not get to sit down till about 3 am...And then by that time it was time for me to get one of my work release gals up and to pass the 5 am meds...Damn..I was planning on going to the laundry room to " do laundry"..While I nap..


Mr shaky has done something to my Boo. You know what the lil gal does? If she sees an open container of any liquid...She grabs it and poors it down the john. Yesterday she tried 3 times to dump my Dt Dr pepper down the crapper...

I saw her take numerous water bottles and take them into the bathroom. I wondered what she was doing..But I am one of them moms who think...hmm, there being quiet, they don't have a pocket knife..They are ok..

and I continue to watch a def leppard music video block on vh-1 classic..cuz hell, that's what any good respecting mum does..

So when Shaky got home I asked him about this new devoplement in my Boos behavior..You know what he said?

she's cleaning up!

And he said it was though he was proud of himself. Like he had just taught a dog how to shit on the grass instead of the floor..

I was not amused. And I told him she already dumped two cans of my nectar. And if she did it one more time I was going to pummel her with a care bear .

So now in my garbage can in the bathroom is a collection of empty pop cans, water bottles and one cup..I am not digging it out..So it will go out with the rest of them.

And here I was teaching her to NEVER put anything down the toilet that did not come out of her butt or that was not toilet paper.

All I know is if she plugs up that toilet, Mr Shaky is gonna be in some big trouble. Even though we have 3 johns....I will make Mr Shaky dig his hand down the toilet and retrieve what item she may have been cleaning it be a remote, a salad fork, or Mr shakys shoe..I don't care..

I am official off of toilet duty...Its his monster he created and he can have fun dealing with the side effects of a three year old cleaning up..

Bossy no more is in charge of that bathroom..Go Me.

well I better go prepare for my night at the place I make lots of money at to get hit on by the lowest of scum..

Man go me again..

Bee Real


Karin said...

Bossy when are you going to learn, men are always impressed with their own stupidity. So how many people do you normally check in on a shift? Does it make you worry to see how much crime goes on in your area?

scummy j said...

mmmmmmm m sexy you sure look good in that uniform......

ok now you have been hit on by Florida scum!!!!!
hope ur work night is good
maybe boo wont put ur Ipod down the pooper.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

yes they are impressed with thier own stupidty..ur right..

well most of what we book are baords which emeans they come from another county..we have a few murders..( thats one of then thats hot for me hehe)and drug offenders are mostly what we house...we have lots of druggies..

oh come now, surly u dont have a record..

if my Pat gors in the crapper, Boo will be finding a new home..

Neurotic1 said...

Don't you just love the stuff that Daddy's teach and then we are responsible for unteaching. I am always getting on my hubby for this. It drives me insane! Mr. Conservative always wrestles with Dorcas. So on Saturday during the party- Dorcas was taking down his cousins who are 4 and 5 years old! I give up!

deni said...

I'm so glad you explained that 0600 thing, cuz working 12 hours makes me retarded.

Oh, that's right, I didn't work it yet.


If I'm that dumb now, wait till the morning.


Bossy♥'s YOU said...

husbands can be retared..more so then kids:)

so u know the joys of the 12 hour shifts..aint they fun?

The Kept Woman said...

I'm back, just for you, honey!

My brother in law once put a beach ball down the toilet. Well, I say "down" it was really "in" as it didn't make it all the way "down".

For many years they actually thought he was retarded, now he's an in the same? Why knows...

Brandy said...

Dont work too hard. Why do men try to teach kids anything at all? They are just about always wrong on what they are teaching. Oh well good luck on unteaching her.

EmmaSometimes said...

HAHAHA! just wait until it's his favorite watch or cell phone...then it will hit home.

Care Bears are best for pummeling.

and just to mention, I love LOVE 80s music. I'm a freaking 80's DJ but I do like the fact that you removed the videos from your blog, if I can add my cents.

I have DSL, but they still bog the page. If you can find a music video site that doesn't automatically start a video when viewing it, then that would be the best of both worlds!!

Badoozie said...

i think boo bee is smarter than you think, because personally if i came across dt dr pepper, i'd dump that crap down the pooper myself......

JD's Rose said...

Ahem, how do you keep up with kids, work, and frequent posts?

"God Bossy Britches"

Jerry said...

The heck with Boo Bee. That girl is a Worker Bee. Give her some Tilex and Pine Sol and put her to work. Just as long as she doesn't drink it.

She works hard for the money!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I have been lost without my hubby is an engineer too..losers..haha

yes men should leave us to the teaching and doings on around childrearing crap!

well the music was kinda gettin on my nerves so i am taking a little hiatis from it;)

oh, and she has already droped my phone it!

shame on u..shame shame shame!!

is called parental neglect:)

funny u say that, I was thinking the same thing..

Peg said...

My 6 year old babysits my husband at least two nights a week while I work job #2, I sure hope she teaches him about cleaning least with out flushing weird shit down the toilet...

js said...

since I turned 18 I have no record that I am aware of
i have participated in a few ride alongs in the rear seat of a marked car or 2 or 3 but no record
they were just Driving Mr. Cracker best I can tell.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I can cleary see that I do need my 6 year old as well as my 9 year old to keep watch out while momma is gone..damn..why are men so stupid?..

no offnsnce cracker..

oh yes, ride alongs are ok.I mean I think of it as yor own personal choffer...I say GO you cracker!

and I think I have been on one ride along..but i am NOT staing anything for the record;)

novaks8 said...

had to send this to you~

j said...

whew thats how I thought of them

and dont sweat the men being stupid, the facts are we are stupid in a good way if your a man that is, ever wonder why we can do absolutely nothing or find nothing around the house? Then wonder how I can rebuild a motor, change a tranny find any tool i need, build a barn find my way out of the deepest woods on the first try?
because thats what we want you to think!!!!!!!!!
And for the record, I have never kept any of my kids until they could poop and wipe on their own!

Kendra Lynn said... my kids haven't thrown anything down the toilet yet...but they have clogged it up a few times while attempting to wipe their own butts. Lots of t.p. at times...ah well.
My husband invests in really heavy-duty plungers, so that's not much a problem.
The only problem is, when I have to use the plunger, I gag the entire time I have to plunge. Totally nasty job.