Thursday, November 16, 2006

Goodbye yellow brick road

Well another day has come and gone, and still penguin free. And the little lady of the hive is very unhappy bout that. She even went to great lengths to show me where to pick one up they way, that would be IHOP, Toys R US and the ocean. I thanked her for telling me where to get one, and would do my best on getting one, but that I thought it would be unlikely the momma penguin would let me take one a babies, and that I would not want a penguin to come take her away from me.

Then about ten times during the course of my day she would say

momma, its unwikly momma penguin will let u have baby? Did u say pweese

I am just gonna have to get one, there is no way around this now. I have dug myself a grave and I need to be buried alive in it..Anyone have a shovel to knock me out with so I am unconscience during my demise?

I had a few things happen today that pissed me off. Two damn days in a row.

First off..

don't have my son call me from school to ask when we are leaving for Michigan, then have HIM ask me why I did not send a note, then to get on the phone yourself and tell me that you "guess" u will inform the office of this sudden and change and that u will "try" to get his homework to me before we leave..

We made up our mind the night before that we would leave Monday rather then Tuesday. And I forgot his damn note, and his teacher had him call...I hate her now.

I informed this bitch that we came to the desciosn the night before that we would leave a day sooner and that I would be ever so grateful if she would please notify all the proper "authorities" that my son will be gone one more day. And holy crap, sue me for not getting a note to you straight away, but holy shit u can cancel school on a whim for some dumb ass football game. And I only had two days notice of this change. And next time they decide to cancel school for such an assnine thing, to please inform me AS soon as possible cuz holy crap..I gotta know when to close my meth lab.

Next thing on the agenda for bitch slapping..

My realtor whom is overseeing my renters was to overnight our rent. Now unless I am still sleeping and this whole day has been a damn mirage...Where the hell is my money?

Because as I stated yesterday, I had the misfortune of not marrying into money and therefore can not afford to just let them buttlickers live in my house for free.

Then the boss at the jail calls and asks if I can work Thursday from 6am to 6pm. I informed him I am working at the crazy house Thursday night at midnight. And believe it or not I do need a nap in order to to so. And for the love of God, Bossy has a life and holy dogcrap I cant come and your beck and call...Please let me live in peace like the Indians...this according to my son......He thinks Indians are a peaceful people..Oh wait never mind that was the Mexicans...

Next thing...
While my son was out roller blading I looked out the window briefly to make sure his guts were not splattered in the road, because holy crap we have no sidewalks and my kids have to ride bikes and skate in the road..anyhoo, I saw him being chased by the homelyiest looking girls in my life. When he came inside he informed me that one of them called him an asshole.

Thumbs up for the potty mouthed babes.

Oh and my son has informed my mother and anyone else who will listen, that me Bossy, the one who pushed his 8 pound 10 once floppy body outta my nether regions..Does not love him.

I guess parents are not allowed to tell their kids to study and not to use drugs, have pre-martial sex, run meth labs..(without the proper precautions in place of course) and to be a good church going boy..

because if u teach them all that shit, they think u hate them.

I guess my job here is done.

Oh and Butch, whom has been my only biological spawn who embraced proper rock and roll, has now informed me he has taken a liking to pop music.

That is what really put a knife in my heart......

So, back to the task at hand...Who has the fuc*ing shovel? Just hit me on the back of the head full force. Toss my nimble, toned, yet corps-ish shell of a self into the hole.

Then someone please break it to boo that she will not be getting a penguin. Tell Blondie she looks pretty when she wears dresses, and tell Butch to get his ass to his room and study. Because heavens to Betsy you cant run a proper meth lab with no education.

Bee Real


Brandy said...

Geez you had another hell of a day! I hope things settle down for you! Schools can be a pain in the ass sometimes. Ours usually would get mad if I took the kids out a day early before the breaks or come home a day late. But oh well shit happens.

Go to Joanns and get her the penguin... I am telling you she will forget all about the real ones!! If you cant find it there let me know.. I could get ya one!!

Heres to you having a better day tomorrow!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

I dont even no where to find a Joannes around here..I have never seen one..damn...

LittleJen said...

My life is boring compared to yours... your right though it would have been easier to have married into money.. but like me we have soldier on with what we got.

p.s. Buy her a

cracker philosopher said...

it sounds like y'all made the same mistake my bride did
and I tell her everytime she goes shopping
damn baby you shoulda married money, or hell getcha a sugar daddy or something
the school thing is a shitty way for folks to be, always use the ole cracker mindset
when in doubt ask yourself who is paying who, then say (in this instance) whoa up there Mrs. Teacher, since I am paying you then you work for the public (i think ur kids go public, it works better on private but anyway) so I pay you, will let you in on our plans when I damn well please and how i damn well please and if I damn well please and if my attitude hurts my (and js's ) sons grade I will come down there and show my patootie.
that usually works cept with the irs and po-lice.
the no payers is a tough deal, unless you have more renters if its gonna be vacant without them its better late than never
anyway there is some twisted logic from the deep south

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

yes we soldier on alright hoping they win the lotto..or have a rich uknown relitive pass in the night.

i so would, but i think penguins are not in the city ordense here;)

Full of wise shit crakcer,
well, after this mishap and others i have not spoke of, i am really thinking of putting him in private school..its like 3 blocsk down..but tis a catholic school and we aint catholic..and since ur his daddy, u have to foot the bill:O)

and trust me, i had alot i wanted to say to the teacher, but for fear of her lashing out at butch i refrained..the boy already think i hate him...damnit..

Cliff Morrow said...

Here in Nebraska, a football game is the ONLY good reason for calling school off.
If your kids are mad, then you're doing something right.

novaks8 said...

I agree with Cliff, you are doing your job if the kids hate you a little.

3 year olds are so fun.

Couldn't your realtor have a method of transferring your funds to you? Paypal maybe?

What a pain. Maybe the market will pick back up and you can sell.

(To twist the knife a bit)...
My 12 year old son LOVES rock music!
He downloads Van Halen and Queen and Metallica and Leppard and Rush and the's awesome!
We had a very philosophical conversation yesterday about Jimi Hendrix and his music.

My 15 year old is immersed in rap however.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well this is MN, we should only cancell school if say, the lakes dry up;)

well he doest hate me, he thinks I hate the boodly hell does that work?

well thats awesome one of your kids knows what good music is...rock on i say:)

Laura Elizabeth said...

That's a penguin picture. You could tell Boo that that is her penguin and his name is Elvis and he's being held hostage by mean people who make him wear blue slippers and look silly.

Of course she'll need therapy after that, but she won't want a penguin anymore.

If you write the Penis Rules book you will have more money than God. And, you could buy penguins. - they have a zip code search thingy.

Neurotic1 said...

I've already learned the promise and can't deliver thing. I got stuck buying a $12 damn helium balloon the other day at the grocery store! And Dorcas hasn't paid attention to it since it has been home. I think you are going to have to buy a penguin or move to the north pole! When you go to the homeland- smack some sense into that realtor and let her know who the boss is! But you should be happy the house is rented! Real estate there right now is terrible!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

wow, your full of all sorts of information...thank you..and I will print that pic out ASAP!..haha

I am thinking the penis could be the answer to my soon to be wealth:)

well I am hoping this penguin phase will pass..if not I might have to have her wacked.

and I know all to well how real estate sucks donkey balls there. And what really ticks me off, is these people cant even afford to pay the full price of the payment, so we have to pay about 150 to finih off the know for a while these people could only pay us 300 a month...or they were gonna have to move out..

but after a few months I told them they ened to move if they cnt amke the full agreed payment.

wish the damn house would just burn down..

*u didnt hear that from me*

Gette said...

Burger King kid's meals. Full of penguins.

Sounds like its time to raise the rent. Can't make rent? Move out. Welcome to the real world where you work to pay your own way. If they need rent subsidies, they should apply to th county and not just say they can't do it. You are under no obligation to cater to their needs. Its your house.

Going anywhere near them for the wedding? Show up on their doorstep and scare the piss out of 'em!

Kendra Lynn said... always I am smiling over here reading your post.
Your kids are hilarious.
You better buy the penguin or Boo will be bawling on Christmas morning.
Trust me.
We don't have a tv, so my kids don't have a CLUE what they want for Christmas. I asked Merry and she told me she wanted presents wrapped in purple and green striped paper with a bow.
Okkkaaay. That didn't help me at all. LOL


Peg said...

Take note, I'm commenting :)

Penguins freak me out now....I watched the march of the penguins and have never truly gotten over it...

Tell her that you can't have a penguin because then sea lions will stalk your house for food and that could get ugly.

I agree with Cracker, remind the teacher you can vote for salary cuts again if she'd prefer...

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

well the only probelem with that one can afford the whole payment..its very coslty to live in that house..its huge, the city bill is high and the property taxes are high..I am just damn lucky these people have stayed there as long as they have..I hate to think of what the heat bill is now with the cost of eveyrthing..damn..

I dont even know what these people look like..dont even know thier names, my "lady" has handle everything, other then giving me my money on time!

well how she even saw a penguin was a commercail for Dawn dish soap. Its a commerail where they take the soap and wash a baby penguin who was covred in oil from an oil spill. they give it a btah and then it cuddles with its momma.

them darn dish soap commercails.

so has hell froze over or am I still dreaming and my money should be here yesterday?

I never seen march of the penguins, but i hear its a real snoozer..

but this damn baby saw that dawn commerncail where they wash the oil off that baby penguin..ya know what im talking bout?..ever since, she needs one.

and I know I should say that to his teacher, but I was worried about the ramifacations it would cause my butch..poor kid has a shitty life, so he says anyway:)

Tee said...

Always craziness over at your place, isn't it? :)

The penguin story is too cute.

Choppzs said...

Gosh damn, what is up with the school systems? We are having the same problem here. We told Girly's teachers we would be leaving for vaca 2 weeks ago. They told me they would have all her work ready to go for her so she wouldn't miss anything. Then yesterday she comes home and tells me her teacher said "your mom should know where the district office is. She needs to go there, fill out an application, then we can start the process of getting your work together." What the fuck? An application? For fucken schoolwork? And she just tells me this now? What the fuck are these teachers smoking? Well probably the same shit you are making in your lab, but that's besides the point. Now I have to make sure I get to there on time and get the damn work so Girly doesn't get real stupid when we are gone for 2 weeks. Stupid school system.

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

yes non stop crazy here..served daily like warm crap:)

your kidding me!..oh hell no. If I had to fill out an application for homewoark, my kid wouldnt be doing the damn homework..

damn, i still cant get over!

JUST A MOM said...

OK here is your OUT,,,,,OK see Santa Clause (cause he carries more clout then any mommy) Said that he is reallly late on Christmas toys and need all cold weathered animals to come help build toys for all the good little children. AND THEN after Christmas He will need them to help feel and clean the reindeer. Because there are so mandy it could take all year. so instead He would send a stuffed Penguin untill he could send a real one. AT that point you can pray seh has forgotten. The best I can do for ya.

Michele_3 said...

okay, I'm hoping this helps you out..
copy this link-

If you can't get link- go to and put penguin in the search section

This website has every stuff animal in the world- i buy all of monkey m's birds there- I found penguins galore on there to pick from..

Boo is too cute wanting a penguin, Today Monkey D tells me he wants a "Boo-Boo chicken" something he saw on the new mickey mouse cartoon show that comes on the disney channel-LOL!
try finding that one..

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Just a MOm,
so have u done this before?..hehe

thanks for the links..but what the hell is boo boo chicken? watches mickey mouse funhouse, other then that we dont watch mickey mouse cuz his voice makes me want to put his ear in a mouse trap and just watch him cry..

The Blog Whore said...

These kids, I swear...

My 2 yr old told me today that she is going to "run away"

She won't get far, she has very chubby thighs.



cathouse teri said...

Email me your address and I'll send boo a penguin. Of course it won't be a living, breathing penguin, but I KNOW she'll love it!

JUST A MOM said...

UUUMMM Bossy Maybe or should I say You don't know this BUT,,, we were foster parents for 10 years to over 30 kids. You see these kids come up with some reallllly wieird things they think they can have now that they have a safe and clean home... SSSOOOO uuuummm YEP MANY TIMES!

Bossy♥'s YOU said...

Blog Whore,
I remebr running away..I was in kindergared and I packed my lil suitcase..filled it with the nesscaities such as barbie dolls, a towel and assorted blocks and strawberry shortcake accsoriess;)

Cathouse Teri,
oh, your gonna send me a live one arent you?..u sneaky lil weasel..

Juat a mom,
ur my hero!

vani said...

hang in there girl! i hope you get a break from all the craziness and enjoy your turkey day. :)

beth said...

i was so into penguins when i was in jr high. now, i have way too much penguin stuff!

Anonymous said...

Very nice site.
niagara falls photo [URL=]niagara falls[/URL] doc niagara falls news