Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Dirty Laundry

So where should I start....

You all know my dryer broke down just after Christmas, and I have yet to purchase another one, because A I hate spending money, and B I have no money to spend..


Anyway, after spring break I have a back load of laundry because frankly, I have not done shit all week, ask the hubs he will verify this in writing.

I am tired of stiff things..now don't get my wrong, I appreciate stiff things once in a while, like a drink or dead animal...But I do miss nice hot fluffy towels..

So I did the unthinkable Saturday.

This hoe went to the local laundromat.

I have never step foot in this laundromat ever, well I have never really spent any length of time in ANY for that matter.

So Blondie and I go up for some mother daughter bonding time, and we walk in and I totally have no idea what to do. I can not tell the washers from dryers and I did not know where to find quarters..

Once my kin showed me where all the stuff was..she goes with my mom once in a while so she knows how shit is done. I had no idea how to work the machines when i got in.

I mean the washers seemed like they were manufactured the first year washers came out..All the directions were rubbed off the lid, so it was by guess and by God.

Whilst in the cleaning clothes facility I felt as though everyone was staring at us. My daughter and I were the only Caucasians in there...I felt out numbered.

No one was watching their tots, there were a bunch of teeny tiny Mexican babies putting themselves in dryers and shutting the doors..

None of the parents were giving a shit.

As I was emptying out my linens from the dryer so I could fold them, one of these tiny babies was trying to help me unload my clean clothes with their dirty hands.

I told her to go away...

So she went back in the dryer and closed the door.

Now I normally don't take such precision in folding clothes, I mostly just try and make due, because I am going to be ironing them before wear anyway..

BUT since I felt the need to impress all the natives, I took my time and folded them like I was folding my military duds.

I have decided that warm, fluffy linens are WAY over rated...

I will not ever step foot in another laundromat as long as I live..

Oh the shame....

Im gonna hang dry my shit like I been doing for the last 2 months, cause thats how I roll..and if its good enough for the cave men, its good enough for me.


This Tuesday, April Fools Day will mark my 13th wedding anniversary...

Look here we are that day,,

And look, here is me and my lesbian pal whom was the maid of honor, or best man, however she wants to be referred as...I don't know..

Yeah....Look how young we look....

As compared to this..

Oh, and my present is a trip to a nice hot place this fall...

Can we say Hawaii bitches?


Yarn Tails said...

Happy Anniversary to you and the hubby.

I can't say Hawaii but I sure can say France and Italy in 2 months 1 week 4 days and counting. LOL

Flip Flop Momma said...

Yarn Tails,

I have a fear over going over seas, we were gonna go to Australia, but, I couldnt do it.

so this is what he came up with, and I had no idea..

HAVE UN when u go...damn...

Jamie Dawn said...

On April Fool's you could play a really mean joke on your hubby. I'm sure you'll think of something to do or say, then you can say.... April Fool's as he's about to give up the ghost.

I hope your Anniversary is superb!!!

Your laundromat woes remind me of my early marriage days when I used a laundromat. One great thing about them is that you get to do all your loads at once and dry them at the same time. I remember using those rolling baskets with wheels to get the clothes out, then taking them to the counter to fold. I'm glad those days are over. Now I just do my loads one at a time. If you lived closer, you could come over and use my machines. I would even help you fold.

Gette said...

Hawaii? Bitch. ;)

1 plus twins said...

are you fucking kidding me?? you are going to hawaii?? i am so damn jealous. (oops sorry about my language, lol) wow you were married the same year as my hubby and i. we were married sept. 2 and you and i had our first kids the same year a couple months apart. and i swear our b-day is the same day. damn if only i was your age though. lol happy early anniversary!!

ps: just go buy that damn dryer already!!!!

Shannon said...

HAWAII..... I'm so jealous!!!!!!

Flip Flop Momma said...

it was nice getting 5 loads done at once, but for the price I shoulda just got a damn wash board out and hung them outside..

lets not get nasty now:)

its almost like we are twins, but im the younger hipper one..hehe

dont be, its just a tropical paradise..hahahahahha

and im not going till NOvember.

Southern Sage said...

Mr. Shakey tickles the shit outta me
I kno u like that.
I laughed out loud @ the first wedding pic.
That cat has taken some head growth formula or somthing!!
Hey we gonna get some thong bikini of FFM pics?????????????
COme on now!
Happy Anniversery.

gina said...

Hawaii- SHUT UP. I'm jealous!

This post gave me visuals I just couldn't stop laughing about(which is kind of sick- Mexi babies in dryers and all). My hubby at one point paused the TV and said I needed to get a life cuz nothing I could be reading could be so funny. I had him read it and soon he was chuckling too.

Too bad you won't be going' back- it made for some good material. :)

just_tammy said...

It's amazing how you leave the laundry mat with clean clothes but feel absolutely filthy and in need of a shower. My last experience was when we first moved here and needed to wash almost everything from the suitcases. I got to hang out with a bunch of college students though. Left feeling dirty and OLD!!! Buy a stinkin dryer already!

Happy Anniversary!!! You'll be baking on the beach while the rest of us are freezing in November - lucky you!

Peggy said...

Happy Anniversary!! Hubby can't deny your son as he looks just like him! Next time you do laundry put a cup of vinegar in your rinse cycle. Your laundry won't be stiff and rough from hanging out to dry. My secret tip of the day just for you. :) Heck I will even let you borrow my washtubs and handcrank wringer if you like. ;)

Flip Flop Momma said...

I dont think there are bikinis big enough to hold my rack.

glad I could give u and hubby something to talk about:)

And trust me, the materal aint worth another trip!

I did feel kinda growdy...

I should trade my trip tickets in for a new dryer huh:)

wont that make my stuff smell like vinegar?

Im gonna try it though.

CMB said...

Look at how pretty! Happy Anniversary! We just celebrated our 9th on the 27th.

Tom said...

If the launderette has people there, you can pay by the pound and they do it all for you...folded and all. Ever notice the brown slug looking things stuck to the inside of the dryer? Hawaii? Afraid of overwater flights? Hawaii is 5 . 5 hours over ocean...it's not just off California somewhere...and take it from a airline insider...two engines over ocean is not a good idea....but nowadays not much choice...

Bradley's Mom said...

Your laundromat story is great!

Gave me a great laugh! I wish you would get a dryer already!

Hawaii, huh? Very nice. Never been there, but know lots of people who go repeatedly and love it! I'm sure you will too! You can wear your Flip Flops, Momma!!


Doozie said...

you should be getting a dryer for the unlucky 13th. but with the way you roll, the 13th will probably be opposite and be the best year ever

Flip Flop Momma said...

well I hope u had a great annivsary:)

I know all about flights to Hawaii, trust me..haha

Ma Linda,
u know me, I where my flops even in the winter, been wearing em for weeks now;)

I sure hope its a good year..but the way my luck rolls as of late, its not looking promising.

Patti said...

Y'all were adorable way back when!

My last foray to a laundromat was when I had to wash/dry this super huge heavy comforter. Of course being the freak magnet that I am had some one eyed, two toothed wonder croon me love songs the whole time I was in there. Seriously the guys would NOT leave me alone.

Rachel said...

I hope your anniversary is a humdinger! Happy Anniversary!! You both were so cute and you both still are!!

I recall going to the laundrymat. UGH. In the summer it's so hot in there I think popcorn would pop in the open air! Kids running wild all the time. I hated it!! I am so thankful that I have a washer and dryer at home. What a HUGE blessing it is!!

Scarlet said...

Miami's a nice, hot place if you guys want to come here. It's not Hawaii, but I could greet you with leis and take you to a place where they serve umbrella drinks. ;)

Congratulations on being married to the same man for 13 years and not killing him. Nice job!

Happy Anniversary to both of you!!

Janell said...

Congratulations and Happy Anniversary! You are a very handsome couple - keep smiling. And keep on lovin'.

Janell said...

Oh and sorry you had to endure the laundramat experience. I had to do that for years. I'm glad that's over with.

Flip Flop Momma said...

no one sang to me...*sigh*

going to the laundromat is for heathens, I know that now.

well I just have bad aim, thats why he aint dead yet.


your Keep on loving made me giggle..haha

Dame Wonder said...

LOL! on the unsupervised kid with the dirty little hands. this story was sooo funny! oh i remember those laundromat days! not fun! now i'm too much of a snob to ever go into one agan.

you two look like cute little tykes in the wedding pic. happy anniversary to you!

i admit, i am a bit jealous about hawaii. have fun!

Flip Flop Momma said...

I too feel ABOVE going to laundromat, I mean when u see the losers who hang out there, I mean..well, it speaks for itself;)

Southern Sage said...

Thats what I am hoping for!!!!!!!!!

Haphazardkat said...

my Mom always hung everything on a clothes line because she loved that "fresh air smell" ....

I fricken HATED how everything was scratchy and stiff. Especially socks and towels. To this day I will only buy expensive socks and towels. The softer the better.

JoeInVegas said...

Wait a minute - money for Hawaii but not for a dryer? Get that hubbie to spring for one.
And the pics - are you sure they aren't April Fool shots just for us?

Flip Flop Momma said...

I shoulda known..


well, I keep telling him I dont wanna waste money on a dryer because I thought it would birng our elcetric bill down..I was wrong..

U dont like my pics?...Joe, well I never..

Groovy Mom said...

You got married on April fool's day? LOL! That's funny. Wouldn't it be really funny if the person who performed the ceremony called you tomorrow and said, "Guess what! It was a joke. You're not really married!" ;-)

Trukindog said...

Happy Anniversary!
Sweety ya know you could pick up a good dryer at a used appliance store pretty cheap...just sayin.

Choppzs said...

Laundromats creep me out. It seems like all of them here house the homeless, or gang members! lol I'd stick with air drying too! lol

Flip Flop Momma said...

I sure did...

Well, that would be my sign to follow def leppard around till i got one to marry me and support me and my three tots:)

I know...its really a matter of me being to cheap and lazy to even venture out to get one..

i mean, its cold out dude:)

they house mexicans here...not that there is anything wrong with Mexicans, they just happen to hang out there..

Cliff said...

A laundromat?? You poor thing.
You guys looked so young. Still do for that matter.
I've heard a roomer about a k video on this site.. I'll now go in search.

Kendra Lynn said...

Happy Anniversary! That is Merry's birthday as well. I cannot believe she is six already. Time is FLYING by.
You still look young. :)

Hawaii huh? Sounds wonderful.


Flip Flop Momma said...

that was a while back...but its here somewhere, two of em..

good luck.ha

thanks...I hope Merry has a great birthday...

Peggy said...

It might have a vinegar smell when it first comes out of the washer but if you hang it out on the line that scent goes away.

theoffendedblogger said...

Awwww!! Sweet! What a great day to get married. Happy anniversary and all that.

Now about that laundromat, holy shit isn't that a wake up call?

I've been that desperate for soft towels and jeans before and instead of grubby little native children, I got hit up on by a scummy looking guy who probably just left prison for molesting grubby native children.


Never again, I said. :)

No Cornflake Chels said...

Doing laundry sux no matter where you are doing it.

Happy Anniversary! Hawaii? Lucky Bum. For my anniversary I got to sit an effin' boat race.

Oh, and the nice thing about Hawaii is all you need to pack is a swimsuit....no need to do laundry!

Flip Flop Momma said...

ok, I may just have to try it then...but i always miss the rinse cycle..*sigh*

holy crap, I had one of those too...I kept my daughter WAY outta his eye shot...just plain scary shit..

Hmm, I do need to go find a cute one, but more in the style of a trash bag, no one wants to see this, trust me.

Flip Flop Momma said...

ok, I may just have to try it then...but i always miss the rinse cycle..*sigh*

holy crap, I had one of those too...I kept my daughter WAY outta his eye shot...just plain scary shit..

Hmm, I do need to go find a cute one, but more in the style of a trash bag, no one wants to see this, trust me.

IamDerby said...

I am so with you on the laundry mat!

HappY Anniversary! Enjoy Hawaii

Michael Manning said...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! And avoid those $2,000 fancy front-load dryers at Home Depot. My sister though she and her hubby were hot shit because they could afford the W/D pair. And it doesn't dry the clothes! Bwahaha! Plus they sold their Mercedes. I'm just sayin...

Catscratch Diva said...

Happy Anniversary!! I'll be thrilled if I ever get a honeymoon to somewhere like, say, Branson, MO..... lol

Yah, the laundromat is the spawn of satan!

Katie said...

Happy Anniversary!

Wethyb said...

Happ Anniversary!!!! Wowsa, you were a blondie eh? So is what you have now the real color or fake?? LOL.

I hate laundry mats. I had to use one a few times back in my single days and was always tempted to go buy some mase.

Jamie Dawn said...

It's THE day.
Wedding Anniversary day!!!!
Hip -Hip - Hooray!!!!

I wish you many, many more years of enduring life's miseries together.


Flip Flop Momma said...

Thanks guys...

Been a busy day...gonna post a new one soon..

Foster Communications said...

You seriously got married on April Fools Day? That is freaking hilarious!