Monday, April 07, 2008

Hell bent or leather

Well my weekend was not so pleasant. I do believe this is the first weekend in I don't know how long I stayed home both Friday and Saturday. Normally I go do some karaoke one night, or hell even both.

But Thursday I started coming down with laryngitis and some major sinus draining.

By the time Friday got here I could barley talk. Saturday the hubs kept telling me stop talking because it was getting on his nerves..

I was like SWEET...

I am still have trouble talking, but its slowly getting better..

Saturday I went to the school I will be attending for the tour and to register.

She showed me the kit you get the first day and holy crap. I had the equivalent of a wet dream when I saw it.

When I went the first time in 94 my kit consisted of a shitty pair of scirrors, some metallic rollers, some clips, a comb and one mannequin head.

This however, is the mother load...We walked by this show case I was thinking damn thats sweet.

Then she told me my kit comes with EVERYthing in the show case..

Here are just some things in it.

two pair of scissors, thinning shears, blow dryer, curling irons, flat irons, 5 mannequin heads, about 20 brushes 30 combs, dozens of perm robs all sizes, styling products..

I know...your getting hot now aren't u....I mean literally there are thousands of things..

I walked away from that show case like a crack addict walking outta of a crack house..I was sweaty, shaky, unstable balance, and had craving for carbs.

She said the kit was so huge it came in its own duffel bag.

OK, im drooling again, I need to stop talking about it...

Now back when I went to beauty school in 1994 it was roughly 3500..And my dear ole father paid it..

Guess how much it is now?..Go ahead..

Nope your not even close..

Almost 16,000


They better teach me how to spin gold.


Well the GQ did not happen this weekend..I swear if he doesn't start getting with the program, I'm gonna go nuts.

All I ask is that you dress sexier then u do now I'm not talking gold chains and chest hair.. Just don't look how u do now.

Is that too much to freaking ask?

I mean, after 13 years of marriage, throw be a fucking bone for Gods sake.

lets keep up with some maintenance...

We women are visual creatures..If your dressing all fuddy duddy-ish, we are not going to want to give you any loving after hours, because frankly, you look like our fathers.

And we don't want to pork our dads..

Nuff said..


Here are a couple links to a few more songs I did..

They are both Don Henely songs...

and one Eagles song.

Im done here.


Thinking Sage said...

well I hope you feel mo better!!
I hope that for 16 large you can even make me beautiful!

(with the list of all that stuff in there, I kinda got all tingly feeling, is that common?)

Good luck on GQ'n your man!!

Cut him all the way off if doesn't change it up!

Flip Flop Momma said...

oh he is cut off all right..

yes its very normal, if u have ovaries..haha..

(or if u like Barbra Strienand)


just_tammy said...

Guess the tuition is proportional to the size of the kit they 'give' you! No wonder the costs at the salons are through the roof as well. Hubs needs to clean up his act since he's married to the goddess who is going to make over all her blogger friends.

Hope you feel much better soon. I'll have to check all the links when I have a moment all to myself. I'll send you an e-mail to fill you in all on the garbage.

Groovy Mom said...

Holy crap! $16,000? Wow.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Thats right im gonna have the damn best looking blogger pals around...come Feb..ha

no shit huh..

Foster Communications said...

Good luck with the beautification process on your man! Love that quote about not wanting to pork your dad! Too damn funny!

The Kept Woman said...

I'm constantly begging SD to wear something other than his tapered leg jeans from 1993 with his Carhartt's not sexy...I don't know how to make him realize this...

P.S. I'm glad that you're getting soem cool siht for $16K...

Dame Wonder said...

i don't know why this gq thing is so hard. all you have to do is wait til he's out, go into the closet, gather up all the shit you hate to see him in, and toss it out. that's what i did. don't all women pick out the clothes that their guy wear?!

i hope you're feeling better.

those beauty supplies sound like fun!

Flip Flop Momma said...

its true right?.ha

not tappered leg jeans, oh gosh..

if i went and tossed everything out I hated, the fella would have nothing but underwear:)

Patti said...

I hope you are feeling better! I am always after the hubs to stop wearing the old man uniform pants and put on a tshirt once in awhile (shirtless is not sexy if it's an all the time thing).
Maybe I should get Madison to ask him to do these things. She told him to shave off his goatee and sonofabitch if he didn't do it right away.

Patti said...

Oh I would get VERY excited about that kit too. In fact I was getting a little excited on your behalf.

Yippeeskip said...

Ok so I suppose "Daddy do me" is way inapropriate here.

I have 69K in student loans and do not have a cool kit to show for it.

Gette said...

I shaved the boys with the dog clipper yesterday. Maybe i need a kit.

Flip Flop Momma said...

I dont want u all excited while your at stop thinking about it..ha


I know, I have 20k out already im paying on..hubby has double that..

not sure why this shit cant be free.

nope, u dont need a kit, u did good:)

CMB said...

I am laughing so hard over this whole post, but most of all because I know EXACTLY what you are talking about with your first cosmetology kit! The new one sounds so cool - good luck.
The hubs part of the post also had me in stitched!
You rock!

Humincat said...

Yeah, when you first mentioned it, I thought, hmm, she must have a crap load of money set aside somewheres that she can't spend on a dryer, since my sil just spent 14k on her cosmo classes. You could always hit your dad up again.....HA! I need to get a mic so I can sing you all deaf! Do you think Wally might carry them?

Catscratch Diva said...

If it's not t-shirt and jeans, it's sweatpants. Thanks for reminding me... I knew he reminded me of someone else... my Daddy.