Friday, April 04, 2008

Rock and a hard Place

Remember when I was talking about the shemale who worked at Walmart? The one with boobs, yet with a beard?

Well while my mom and I were at our normal Wednesday karaoke establishment, they were talking about her...

How do you know I knew they were talking about her/him?

I heard them saying..

you know that person in the checkout at walmart with the dandruff and the beard?

Oh, you mean the chick?

yea yea, she grosses me out...I mean it cost 10 bucks to wax your face, I mean lets pitch in and get her a wax.

How about a pair of tweezers?

No, that would take her all day....

and whats up with her stench...

I mean I feel sorry for her, but man, come on...

thats how I know they were talking about Pat.

Damn bar flies always talkin smack bout someone...

I mean I do it on the privacy of my blog...because thats how I roll.


So I have been speaking openly with my hubs on the way he dresses. Ya see, he dresses like a fuddy duddy..I realize he IS a fuddy, but I am just not ready to be married to one..

I find certain looks extremely take this for instances..

OK, you got me, thats my personal photo of Zac mistake...

But you get my drift.

I have issues with men who tuck in their shirts.

..I think its WAY hot when a guy wears his polo and even dress shirts untucked...with jeans..

wrinkle free of course.

Pardon while I wipe the drool off my keyboard.

I have tried telling the hubs this, and he refuses..

Then one day we are watching a commercial or some shit and there is a man with a nice pair of faded jeans and an untucked shirt...

So he says..i like that look

what the hell?..I have been begging u to dress this way for YEARS...I have been trying to de-bug your crappy dress portion of your brain, but you have some sort of electrical prodding fence up and I have been unable to access it..

Until Now.

SO then he got on this kick about getting GQ magazine..

He told me he is going to try and do one GQ thing a week..

Is that funny or what?

So far it hasn't happened. But I have high hopes for next week...

And he is also all up in my shit about what Dr Oz says on Oprah, because apparently someone died and made Dr Oz in charge of the world's health issues..and we cant talk no smack bout Dr Oz or it causes the silent treatment.

Which I rather enjoy.

Then I saw this today..

And although I did get a good giggle and a near miss piddle accident....It made me happy..

Ahhh good times, good times..

So in the meantime, I am trying to get my hubs from this..

ok, obviously this is not him, but leave the helmet and take away the skatboard and it might as well be...sonofabitch..

To this finish product..
I am thinking my new beauty skills will be come in handy with this project..


Groovy Mom said...

Wow! You have your work cut out for you. When your done with yours I'll send you mine. ;-)

Oh, and I make the voice videos at It's easy once you figure out how to get the levels right to record. The message boards have lots of help with that, though. Next I'm gonna get myself a sound card that will let me add a little reverb to my voice.

Katie said...

Good luck!

So Not The Bradys said...

You know, this could be a major career move for you. Get your husband all fixed up and looking sexy untucked, and then offer the service to other women who can't seem to get their husbands to stop tucking in their damn shirts.

I told mine to put on a shirt that belonged to one of our teenage boys - button down, striped, nice looking, and dare I say, currently in style. What's he do? He comes out of the bedroom tucking the bitch in. Arghh. I couldn't get it through his thick skull that you don't have to tuck. Just don't have to.

Flip Flop Momma said...

I think mine might take me a lifetime;)

That site is great, thanks..

im gonna need it.

Brady u are not,
what the hell is it with our men wanting t tuck shit in?

We need to brain wash them suckers..

Humincat said...

What is up with you and that little boy?? He fits his whole package in his little boy hand! NOT GOOD! Now, Brad on the other hand....mmmmm...YUMMY! Mine doesn't tuck, but he leaves the top buttons undone on his shirt and has a gold chain cross, and looks like a super lame Rico Suave kinda guy, which is always a huge turn off. I just walk over and button him up, like I'm his mother, and he wont undo the buttons because it is supposed to look like they just sort of "fell" open or something, and if everyone SEES him opening them, then it isn't the same. MEN! Good Luck!

Scarlet said...

So I forgot EVERYTHING you wrote because all of a sudden all I can think about is Brad Pitt...who I never really liked all that much until that last pic you posted. Wow! Not a bad visual before bed. :)

(I'll reread your post later when I stop thinking about Brad...)

Dame Wonder said...

give him some credit for trying that gq look once a week! i'm not big on tucked in shirts either.

Tom said...

Howz about Dockers and's how I go...Now what about shoes?

Shannon said...

I hear ya on getting a man to change his style. My husband acted like I was killing him when I forced him to get a pair of new jeans, that weren't Wrangler relaxed fit carpenter jeans. You know, that kind that people are wearing now. He said they looked like they had been peed on, lol. At least he sounds like he is willing to try!

Southern Sage said...

I have to pay attention more, I haven't a clue who any of the folks you talk about are!
I modeled some for RQ
and was looking damn good if I say so mself!

Basement Stamper said...

If you can get your hubs in line with that...we'll all have our hubs in line for you to work with!

Your blog just cracks me up and brings a big smile to my face reading your posts!!!

Just lil o me... said...

Start him slowly...remember, you are deprogramming lots of years!
Keep us updated!! You can do this!!!

(BTW - dont most WalM*rts have nail salons w/waxing stations in them now? Or is it just where I live?)

CMB said...

HeHeHe...that is a funny post. I love the before and after pictures. I know you can do it!

Flip Flop Momma said...

its not how much fits in your hand, its what u do with WHAT does fit there...gosh..ha

I cant get to your blog...I did the invitaion thing, but I cant get there..HELP me.

I will give credit where credit is due, he hasnt done it yet..hahaha

im not a big fan of the Docker, hubs where em to work, my dad wears em...I just dont get it..

but if your wearihg untucked, it has to look better then what I see here.

ok, I giggled at your imaige...I think our men need the show What Not to Wear...STAT.

oh put your Wranglers on..

I will keep u updated, I might have to start charing a pretty penny if this takes off..haha

I think a lot of hubbys need my help.

Just me,
yes yes....its right across from the check out...

I know, I have to work slowly, but im an impatient kinda gal:)

Im do my best! Cause thats the best I can do!

Gette said...

I'm lucky to get mine outta sweats or t shirts, but the work uni is kinda hot. All ready for a good game of "the stern security guard and the naughty trespasser." Or something.

Flip Flop Momma said...

im blushing..

go take a cold shower.

The Blogger Formerly Known as Scarlet... said...

BTW, I have a new blog now.

The Offended Blogger said...

Imagine, there is probably a woman out there somewhere who thinks the guy with the helmet is hotter than Brad.


Flip Flop Momma said...


that makes me feel all creepy inside..shame on u.

Bee Repartee said...

Doozie and I have talked in great length about tuckers and non tuckers.

Some people have to tuck because of their uniform. Police, military and fireman can tuck all day long and I would not complain. ohh, la, la.

Well, it depends on the guy, too.

Construction workers must tuck, like who wants to be rodding concrete with someone elses asscrack in your face? That's refreshing.

Some people should absolutely tuck, like plumbers who are notorious non-tuckers by who by law, should be.

Overall though, nontuckers take the cake in hotness.

Doozie said...

I have a problem with tuckers, and I tend to think that tuckers have issues and what not, I don't know what else to say

MamaMichelsBabies said...

When Ug and I got together, like immediately, he asked me to just get his clothes for him because not only was he wearing cloethes that were entirely to small (think belly poking out under shirt) they were u-g-l-y and he knew it.

Thank God.

Good luck on getting hubs up to par ;)

gina said...

lol. i 'm not a big Brad Pitt fan, but G*% DamN that is a hot shot. Thanks for the sunshine. :)

Haphazardkat said...

HOLY CRAP! I licked the screen of my computer--it didn't taste like Brad though. *sulk*