Friday, August 01, 2008

Fire and Ice

I keep forgetting to mention the fact that I have not seen my spider friend since before I left for my vacation in June...

I'm thinking of this now, because I'm sitting in my bed, looking at the wall where the bastard has been spotted more then once.

My fear is while I was gone for that month, that he got a tad bigger..Like possibly to the size of Asia. Which is pretty big....I think the bastard may be under my bed. I refuse to look. I worry that if he decided to venture out and climb up the wall, the shear girth of him will make him plummet to my bed which in turn will cause my untimely death.

And frankly its buggin the shite outta me.

Last night I could not sleep as I am a retard and suffer from the insomnia thanks to the cancer..Yes that was 8 years ago, but u try functioning without the gland that helps u do that shit, its impossible bitches..

Anyway, I was surfing channels on my Dish-Network, because hell, that's what I pay 100 bucks a month for..to surf.

Well I came across The Golden Girls.

Please put a bullet in the brain....preferably quickly...and if your a bad shot, just let me do it..

It did however make me realize that hearing one old bat call another old bat a tramp, ..is going to make being old very worth while...

I think I have a tumor inside my foot....

what else...what else....

My 8 year old Blondie told me that when she grows up she is going to own a bunch of land and have houses on the land, and she is going to let her sister and brother live in those homes..(she did make sure to say AGAIN she will OWN the land) and then they can all swim in her pool or lake and they can hang all summer and do things.

I don't know but that kinda sounds like the making of a cult to me.

God Speed specail one...God speed..

17 comments:

Southern Sage said...

I thought I saw that spider run under your bed...........

Flip Flop Momma said...

Sage,
Now dont be spreadin rumors, u know u wasnt looking UNDER the bed..

Shannon said...

No, not a cult... a compound, lol.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Shannon,
Ha, yes...maybe so..

Yippeeskip said...

Glad to have you back FFM-You were missed!

Monogram Queen said...

I saw a spider on the ceiling last night and thought of you.... flip flop momma = spiders in my brain I guess!
Blondie is so sweet!

So Not The Bradys said...

Gosh, you have it all. Cancer, spiders, special children. I want to be like you when I grow up. It's no wonder you even have a stalker.

It's just my paranoia here, but be sure you check shoes that have been in your bedroom before you put them on. (I once stuck my foot in a boot to find a mouse drugged out on de-con. I file that under "things that have made me piss my pants")

Flip Flop Momma said...

Yippee,
Yup...thats me sugar;)

Patti,
bet it wasnt the size of Asia though.


Brady's,
I know..Its enough to make anyone jelous huh?

I already do check my shoes..(course all I wear now are flip flops)...because I had an unfortunate incedent once

just_tammy said...

The spider is probably on vacation since you left it alone. Blondie is definitely not a short bus rider. Always one step ahead. Too gross about the mouse in the boot. You know I have spider and mouse issues!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Tam,
yup Blondie has beauty and brains..a rare thing;)

Southern Sage said...

peripheral!

it surely COULD have been starbursts going off I reckon!

Wendy said...

I guarantee my BFF and I will be calling each other hooker and hoe when we are in our seventies!

My grandpa had the same idea for all my cousins and me and his land. So far I'm the only one here...bitches.

Gette said...

Advise Blondie that real estate is not where its at right now...

Gette said...

And hey, now that life has calmed down, we need to go do something. I am so ready.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Sage,
I bet so..

wendy,
well enjoy it b4 everyone else comes and wrecks your good time;)

Gette,
I told her its a buyers market..grab it now while its cheap;)

Im up 4 a night out...give me the word girl...

lisabella said...

Not to worry, the spider is probably dead. Don't you remember Charlotte's Web? Charlotte dies after laying her FIVE HUNDRED FOURTEEN spider eggs...

Rachel said...

That spider probably got lonesome while you were gone and moved in with your neighbor.

Blondie sounds very sweet and willing to share with her siblings!