Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Turn up the Radio

Since its summer vacation for Gods sake, I try not to wake up before dawns crack...Because I really do enjoy the shut eye...

This morning I hear the ole hubs leave to go earn his greenbacks...



I am sort of awake anyway, because there is this massive thunderstorm brewing out my window..God didn't care it was still sleepy time for me.





A couple minutes later my phone rings...I lay there and don't even entertain the thought of answering it, because no one needs to call me this early...And if someone has died, they will still be dead at 8am and I will answer the phone then.




I close my weary eyes again..and BAM the phone is ringing again. This time I look to see who it is, and I see its hubs calling from work.








I answer it and he informs me they are sending them all to the tornado shelter and would like me to follow suite here...




The tots are already down there, because they love sleeping down there when its hot out..








I figure to myself if it was that important the siren would blow..








This city has a weird way of wanting to kill people, because they rarely blow it when there is one heading right for me.








I turn on the telly and sure right on the news it says there is one heading to my house.








Still no whistle..








The people who run the city must have part time jobs at walmart and are unable to function in normal capacity....








And I just feel sorry for them..








God speed retards..























~



My 4 year darling tot is obsessed with The Jonas Brothers. For you feeble minded elders, its a couple of semi good looking brothers who pound out tunes in Radio Disney and The Disney Channel..






My darling tot swears she will marry one...I tell her she wont. she cries and says she is a princess and they will indeed marry her. All of them.






I say not unless you wanna be jailed...You cant marry more then one person...plus your 4 and thats a jail sentence all in itself.






Then she informs me she is almost 5..






well you got me there honey...






she is also convinced they live in our homeland back in Michigan.






I keep telling her they would NEVER live there...not ever.






She then says while she was watching the Disney Channel they said they are all over the world, and therefore the homeland is part of that world so they are there.






I cant hardly argue wit that logic.































~




While my mom and I were on our adventure driving to Virgina Beach a couple weeks ago, I advised her to put in our Jimmy Buffet CD..She bought it a while back and left it in my van, and it had never been open.




When your on the open road, sometimes hearing " why don't we get drunk and screw" just makes the flow of traffic go faster...




So she opens it and pops it in. The damn thing keeps spitting itself out and says "error"




I'm getting fuckin irritated because I don't want to be on this damn trip to start with, and plus its never been opened so how could I have damaged it already?????




We try a good 10 times , I have her breath on it, and wipe it, figuring this will help anything...I mean that technique is golden..




The damn thing kept being spit back out..




Finally I lift up the package to put the broken CD in..and on the box I see that it is indeed.






A






DVD..






















~

~

~


Two weeks from Saturday is my show...I cant wait...see, this is a ticket I need to take with me when I go..


wouldn't u be excited too?
Normally I get these here things about 3 or 4 times a tour, but since they are not doing a full scale tour to suit MY needs, this is my only one this year SO FAR...






Get ready to rock, christina !
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Please print this Order Confirmation and present it, along with a photo ID for christina ******, at your special meeting place on the day of the show. You will receive an itinerary email 5-7 days before your show including details about meeting time and place.
Your Order ID: 117****Artist Name: Def Leppard 2008Order Details: (1-[ : 0 : 0]) 5 Star - Iowa State Fair, Des Moines, IA, August 16, 2008Amount Paid: 185.00Payment Type: Visa
If you have any questions or concerns, don't hesitate to contact us:
info@iloveallaccess.com.

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*Please print out this email and bring it with you to the show. You must bring a valid PHOTO ID matching attendee name on this order. Those who cannot present a photo ID matching the attendee name on the order, will be turned away!




Yup, this will be a sweet day for me...


The only bright spot about this whole damn summer...
Trust me, you know I have had a bad summer when I say..
"I'm having a bad summer"






30 comments:

Foster Communications said...

Oh holy crap. Did you even have a freaking tornado??

My four year old niece (almost 5!) loves Joe Jonas. She says he's cute. I even bought her an I heart Joe thing for her upcoming birthday. She's also known to kiss pictures of Mario Lopez. My sister says she's got a hussy on her hands.

MamaMichelsBabies said...

That's the only reason I'm scared to leave this urban hell... tornados don't seem to like it here much and never head this way.

Boom swears she's got the lead singer of the Jonas Brothers all wrapped up and waiting for her to become the pristine age of 18 so he can marry her, the fact that he doesn't know she's alive means squat.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Jess,
I have a hussy too...she wants ALL the brothers, plus zach efron and zach and cody ...she loves the disney boys.

Mama,
not to mention they will be dried up ole men by the time she is old enough;)

on their 4th marriages..

she is better off.

lisabella said...

Conversation with my almost 8-year-old BOY on the way to camp this morning while listening to Radio Disney...

Him: Mom! Imagine if we got Jonas brother tickets!
Me: Yeah, imagine (insert eye roll here).

Apparently the Jonas Brother fan base has no gender bias.

So Not The Bradys said...

I just did a blog post yesterday called "Boys I Want to Marry." Think I'm going to make it a feature.

It makes me sound older than dinosaur crap, but in 1976, I watched Rick Dees perform "Disco Duck" on TV. I looked at my grandma and told her, "I'm going to marry him."

I didn't care either when she said, "Oh, honey, you're just a little girl. He's a older boy. You can't marry him."

Then I was going to marry Leif Garrett, Denny Terio (from Dance Fever),Willie Aames, Shaun Cassidy and Parker Stevenson because you couldn't just marry one Hardy Boy, you know. Andy Gibb, all of the Bay City Rollers, Dwayne from "What's Happening."

I was a little tramp.

just_tammy said...

All I would have needed to complete this crappy day is a tornado! We never not hear the siren since it's right by our house as in right next door. Trying ignoring that going off every few minutes for hours on end like last month. Imagine how horrible I felt when parts of several towns were destroyed along with part of my darling son's university...still haven't gotten around to making the basement a comfy place to be...

Now we get to figure out where the heck Pomona KS is at on the map. We just changed providers...quell nightmare!!!

By the way I like counting the number 1 with good ole tall man. It still kills me that the schools went all PC and refuse to sing 'where is tall man'. This week has been so bad tall man may need to be put to use. At least I haven't tried to rock out to a DVD - YET!

Anonymous said...

I know your opinion of Wal~Mart employees...and I know it is my option to read your blog, but you make all the people that work there sound like retards, and well frankly I am offended! I have also read that you will not shop there again, but yet I have seen you in there numerous times since, so you must enjoy being there. Maybe you should get a job there, YOU might fit in just fine with the rest of us "retards". You can block me from reading this blog if you feel necessary, but I am tired of you insulting my intelligence just because I choose to work at Wal~Mart until I am finished with school.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Connie,
i never invited u to read this..not sure why u bother..

I go to walmart 4 milk and yogurt..but i highly doubt u see me there alot, because well..I would rather have a root canal..

In fact I can only think of two times this whole summer where I have been there..

And if I dont go there to see the people..then I get no enjoyment..I need a laugh too sometimes..

U wont catch me dead working there..thats why I went to college..thats why I write for a tv show, thats why I have a novel about to be published..

Im just not classy enough to fit in..

But thanks for trying to reel me in..

Good on u ..

Flip Flop Momma said...

Lisebella,
yes, my son can appricate a good JB tune too...he wont admit it, but he sings right along with the best of them.

Bradys,
Oh man...your list made me giggle..

People I wanted to marry include but dont limit..

Micheal Jackson
Micheal J Fox
Prince
River Phoeinox
Johnny Depp
Ponch from Chips
and last but not least...

Kirk Cameron

Tam,
I dont know why this city even bothers to warn us..

oh yeah..they dont..

So the sons school was damaged huh? does this mean he will be home longer 4 summer vacation?

I MIGHT be heading to KS the 18th of AUG....but im not sure..

I will let u know 4 sure..

Flip Flop Momma said...

oh and Connie..

I didnt even mention Walmart once today...

I am offfended, your not paying attetion..

So Not The Bradys said...

My dad works for Walmart, and I've never once been offended by anything I've read here, Flip Flop Momma Goddess.

He drives truck for them, but still. Doesn't bother me one bit.

Sounds like to me someone needs to use their 10% employee discount to buy some vaginal itch cream. Maybe some Prep-H. I'm sure the discount applies to the pharmacy and covers mood-altering drugs. Xanax, anyone?

Flip Flop Momma said...

Bradys,
thanks girl...

Most of my walmart refrences are to MY walmart anyway...to the employees there and the shoppers I have seen..

And if anyone has the shit 4 brains to take me seroiusly, then they really should be working at walmart..

a couple years ago I made fun of other places of employment..

everyone gets a turn here..

Im not bias..

:)

Thanks 4 the comment though..

I know her, sorta...she works at our walmart..

I am still unsure how the hell she got this address to tell u the truth, because I never gave it to her...we are not even friends 4 that matter..

some things puzzle me...

So Not The Bradys said...

Trust me when I say that the picture you paint of your Walmart could be a scene cut from one in Indiana.

Anonymous said...

The people who run the city must have part time jobs at walmart and are unable to function in normal capacity....
So, you didn't write this today? And at one time you did invite me to read your blog when we were actually friends on MySpace as a matter of fact.

CMB said...

A friggin tornado - r u kidding me? No gosh darn way! I am glad you are safe. I can not tell you how many times my mom has bought a DVD instead of a CD or vice versa! READ THE PACKAGE PEOPLE.

Brooke said...

I understand the whole tornado warning system thing. That happened at the beginning of June here in Neb. Then we had quite a storm at the end of June but they claim it wasn't a tornado because there was no funnel cloud that touched down. In my book if the winds are above 70 mph and knocks peoples power out for a week.

I am with you on the whole walmart thing. I can't stand that place and the way they treat there employees. I say bash walmart as much as you want.

Have a great time in Iowa. I would love to be going to that concert. I am working on the one for here.

Bella said...

My nieces are totally into the Jonas Brothers and HSM. It makes my head hurt.

just_tammy said...

What the heck?! Someone seems to have her knickers in a twist! Some of us have a sense of humor and really enjoy our friend's blog and don't care to see her attacked. This tall man's for you!

Humincat said...

Yeah, see, that is why I stay in Earthquakeville. I don't need to be hiding down in some scary basement, hoping when I stick my head out, my house is still there. That is nuts, along with your stalker. I worked at Walmart before, and about 90% of my coworkers were missing half their brains. The only "normal" ones were over 60 or quit before the year was up. That doesn't mean blue collar workers suck, that means Walmart sucks and hire at random. Well, have fun keeping the tot away from boys in school, especially if she follows in Blondies steps huh?

Flip Flop Momma said...

Brooke,
I hope u get to make it to one in NEB...because holy shit..im thinking of going to that one too;)

Tam,
She cant attack me, because that kinda shit dont bother me..as everyone here knows..

I have bigger fish to fry then if someone is offended because I think walmart sucks..

I mean seroiusly people..

Bella,
gives me a big throbber too...but damn, I still dont mind watch HSM and have BIG plans to hit the theater OCT 24th when number three comes out..

I like my jail bait..

Flip Flop Momma said...

Humincat,
Well I have a nice basement..its fully furnished, caprted, has a bedroom one bathroom and living room and its a walk out..haha..not everyone has such nice digs..hehe

Yes, your right on the blue color thing...

And if anyone has ever spent any length of time here, they know I not only bash walmart, but nearly everything else..

Walmart is just so easy, and for these reasons too..it just kind of proves my point..



And CONNIE...I NEVER gave it to u..u asked, I NEVER gave it to u..I NEVER sent u an email giving u this address..NEVER...NEVER..

Your Lying to yourself there...NEVER...NEVER did I give it to u...


So dont even say I gave it to u missy, because thats some false shit..

At one time I did have it posted on myspace blogs,but had not for months and months.( and I thought i had got rid of them all..my fucking bad).so u had to go back and search and read to find it..

which in turn made me delete them all anyway..


ANd saying that about the city, hell I coulda said they all must work at Ecno//or Save a lot..

what the fuck is the diff?

I have been making fun of walmart WAY b4 u started stalking here...

So dont think its all 4 your benfit, because I been doing it for years...

Dont flatter yourself...

Flip Flop Momma said...

CMB,
shit i missed u...i had my head in my ass I guess.


well we did not get a tornado...they always threaten us, but never deliver.

No kidding, 50 year old chicks cant purchase shit without the reading glasses..

Tom said...

I'm glad you weren't killed in the tornado! Next time, please take a ride and post tornado shots..please?

Tom said...

Connie, I'm sure Bossy isn't putting down people who work at Wally World in a personal way. She is a keen observer of life, and Wally World is life itself. I think you may believe she looks down her nose at people and thinks they are trash. I don't believe she does. She makes fun of STEREOTYPES, not anyone in a personal way. Bossy is not a snob. If you want a blog that will really piss you off and make you laugh, go to http://www.wallyworldlife.com it's a blog of wal mart employee in Indiana, and is hilarious.

Flip Flop Momma said...

Tom,
I use to be a twister chaser...and would LOVE to follow them..next time, i promise..

Brooke said...

Ok if you come I will go with you!!!

Monogram Queen said...

Scary on the tornado...... so what happened!

Yeah for Lep!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Brooke,
well i saw something else im gonna go to now..hehe

Patti,
nuttin....i was jipped.

Haphazardkat said...

holy frack! how can you be having a bad summer when you have all this shizzle happenin?!

...its not ah tumah...
(I'll give you a prize if you can name that movie!)

I'm with you on the "not answering the phone before yer ready" business. I hate phones. Its like a friggen kid tuggin on the back of your shirt going, "mom...mom...mom...mom...mom...mom..." while yer tryin to get shizzle done!

Oh and tell your wee tot that I get first dibs on the Jonas brother in the middle of that pic. Purrrr Purrr...
*wait*
how old is he?
I mean I'm not willin to become berthas biotch in cell block C cuz of him...
not even IF she looks like the Pale One.

Southern Sage said...

boy ur mean!