Thursday, August 21, 2008

when hell freezes over

Every Wednesday the ice cream truck comes tooling down my street. Every Wednesday my tots sit in the driveway anticipating the arrival of said truck. You can hear the bitch coming from blocks away because it has those chimes ringing. Oh those fucking chimes..

Its almost like the driver of the truck wants a good ball beating. I'm sure he does. He must. Or he wouldn't parade down my street like he has my kids hopes and dreams in the backside of his truck.

Oh wait. He does.

Last week my girls sat in the driveway and waited and waited. It was raining and I told them the truck likely wont be coming..

They waited. For 3 hours.


I finally had to bribe them in the house...they cried and wondered why the ice cream truck had forsaken them.

I was almost hoping the truck was closing shop for the summer. Because it normally does come in the rain.

But I do recall the damn truck making rounds around Halloween time last year, so I kinda knew this was not the case.

So this morning when my tots woke up the first thing out of the 4 year olds mouth was..

momma is today Wednesday?

Everyday she asks. I'm sure she will even ask tomorrow.

The talk of the ice cream truck was kind of setting well in my mind. I had not had ice cream in, God knows how long. I told Blondie to get me a Choco Taco.

Never had one?

Its a damn bloody shame..

I had this in my mind all day. How good its going to be to bite into my stale, cold, soggy waffle shell my taco sits in.

Its what got me thru the day..

Blondie set her watch to the approximate time she thought the truck would be making waves down the street.

She was set.

Money in hand.

" you know what momma wants right?"

"yup...u want a taco"

" no no, a CHACO taco, make sure u add the chaco part"

"got it mom"

I sit in here and watch my tots thru the window..There is a line...all the kids are giddy and ready for their soon to be sugar high.

I sit down on the coach and get prepared to eat my Chaco Taco.

One must prepare for these things.

She comes running in all smiles..



So she got me this pink panther ice cream thing..

because I told her once I liked to watch Pink Panther when I was a kid.

I looked at the label.

100 calories and no fat.

Sure this is going to be bad...very very bad.

When you prepare all day for an event, it gets your ovaries all in a tizzy when it does not pan out.

Curse the man who doesn't bring me a chaco taco.

There is a nice hot place in hell for that dude.

After Def Leppard, whats my next love?

anyone, anyone..

Don't say Elton John or Prince...

yes yes, they are my pride and joys, but I'm talking a band..

They are coming to the Target Center in Minneapolis on Sept 30th.

This bitch is going come hell or HIGH water...

I'M just saying....


just_tammy said...

Yummy! I haven't had one of those puppies in ages. Sorry your craving was denied. Somehow store bought treats aren't the same as the ones sitting in the back of a truck for who knows how long. Yes, Boo, it's Wednesday...

Well, this was neither witty nor - this won't be eaten...

Flip Flop Momma said...

in my eyes, it was witty..

oh BTW, guess where Pale Gurl is..


So Not The Bradys said...

Are your ice cream truck drivers scary as hell like they are here? The last time the truck came through, I don't think the dude and his woman had a set of teeth collectively.

Anyway, I love those jolly rancher popsicles. They are like bomb pops from our youth, but sour...and talk about some girth.

Flip Flop Momma said...

I dont like Joly Rancher anything, they make my mouth all pukery..

I have never really got a good look at the dude..I just watch out the window to make sure he aint kidnapping any tots..

I could use some good girth right about now though.

1 plus twins said...

it has to be zac effron and high school musical on tour. lol

Humincat said...

Welllllll, lets think.....could it be the cast of 90210? Or maybe NKOTB? Or um,,,,The Eagles?

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful AND can work Google like nobodys business!

Lisa said...

Let's see, Choco Taco/Pink Panther. No contest.
Did the Pink thing had gross BLACK bubble gum eyes like the Sponge Bob pop my son bought me?

sweets said...

you have another VIP ticket waiting for you? hehe ok now i want some ice cream...

just saying...


Flip Flop Momma said...

God I wish..

Oh God please tell me u just didnt say NKOTB?

nope it had pink bubble gum eyes;)

nope, Im not going VIP to this one..

I ONLY do VIP 4 DL, they are the only ones who deserve it;)

Monogram Queen said...

Well WHO is it???

I didn't even know they made Choco Tacos LOL I haven't hard one in years either.

Flip Flop Momma said...

well the ice cream turck has them plastered all on the side, but then doesnt have them..bastard..

its The Eagels:)

Shannon said...

Haha, my hubs was on the phone at the beach when the ice cream guy came passing by. He missed out on his nutty buddy, lol. I have actually tasted the Spongebob one and it wasn't too bad. Being lactose intolerant I can't eat ice cream, so I don't really crave it ever.

metalmom said...

Reading that story I got all excited for you having a choco taco. I thought you were gonna tell us that the truck never showed and you're gonna have to kick the guy in the nuts next week. But being DENIED???? That's ten times worse!! this was the worst horror story I've heard in ages!

Flip Flop Momma said...

I dont think those spongebob things have any ice cream in them..they are fat free and 100 calories.

Im Lactose INtolrant as well, but only thing that really gets me is cheese..

fuckin cheese..

I know, a regular Nightmare on elm Street seniaro huh?


So Not The Bradys said...

I'm still amazed you send your kids alone to the ice cream truck. Maybe it's just our area and such, but some of the scariest people I've ever seen have either worked as carnies or ice cream truck dudes. I don't think they're molesters or anything like that, but hygiene isn't typically a high priority for most of them. That includes dental hygiene as well. heh

Hey, if you get a chance, check out my Oh, Pshaw blog. I did a post "history of a fat girl" and Joanie Greggains (remember any of her workouts on cassette and LP...yes LP) read it and commented. Too cool.

Gette said...

I'll see you at target center. You got a line on the VIP tix for that one?

Flip Flop Momma said...

Well I was watching thru the window and well when there are 10-15 kids standing out there, I always think, they will kidnap one of them kids 1st..

the damn thing stops right in front of my house..Like nearly pulls in my one driveway..

damn people..

I will go read it...but i dont recall that name..let me go read.

Flip Flop Momma said...

5 star for the Eagels is 1,000 bucks, I only drop that cash 4 DL or Prince..

so Im just gonna sit with the common folk:)

Bradley's Mom said...

Hi Flip!

I thought for sure you were going to say that you chased the truck down the street and yell at them cause they didn't have your favorite ice cream! You wimped out on this one!!

Hope you survived the substitute treat!

The Eagles are good!!!!

Love ya!

The Egel Nest said...

I am a sucker for the SCREWBALLS from the ice cream truck!

The Egel Nest

Flip Flop Momma said...

well, I was half thinking about it, but when they are out, I guess they are out..I shoulda had him give me a ride to dairy Queen;)

whats a Screwball?

just_tammy said...

Hey, I saw a DL pop up video today. Since I am a mere mortal, I didn't realize Shania Twain's soon-to-be ex Mutt was their manager for awhile. Learn something new every day! Were you one of their hot rock chick groupies who ended up under the stage?! Bet you were...I was looking for you as they scanned the crowd...

I figured pale girl bailed on you to head this way since you had mentioned a date awhile back. You'll enjoy the concert way more than the state of Kansas. Still it would have been fun to have met up.

Anonymous said...


I wish for you much taco ice cream!

Flip Flop Momma said...

Yes, Mutt Lange produced the Hystria album, non since then..

He is a goofing looking fucker..

U can learn all sorts of things from pop up video;)

I was 13 when that shit came out, no under the stage 4 me..

But I have been backstage in a dressing room, and a tour bus, but I wont say what I was doing or who with:)

why would I want to go to Alabama?


Anonymous said...

That was my guess about the band you were going to see!!
Could be Big and Rich tho maybe!

Hows your taco?

Flip Flop Momma said...

im taco-less....

JoeinVegas said...

No ice cream trucks cruise our neighborhood, guess not enough kids or too many cheap bastards or something. But there is a DQ just two blocks away, and a Baskin Robins right past that, and a Cold Stone a little further.

Flip Flop Momma said...

u just gotta rub it in, doncha?

catscratch said...

It's like getting a piece of dry toast when you really wanted a bagel with nasty, fat cream cheese, huh?

Scarlet said...

Great, now I want one of those Choco Tacos and I don't even like chocolate ice cream OR TACOS! You make it sound out of this world!

The Doozie said...

oh my god....why don't you just go on the road with those fellers? It would be cheaper.

how was that pink ice cream?

Flip Flop Momma said...

its ok, I dont like ice cream either, its just something that popped in my head..and BAM i wanted it.


but i do like tacos;)


Thats my goal...

The Woman said...

our old place we had an icecream truck go through, this place we saw one once that's it never saw it again. There's one for sale just outside of town hmmmm maybe I could be the ice cream man er woman

So Not The Bradys said...

I'm guessing your kids are safe. If they are anything like their momma, they'd be kidney punching and busting kneecaps. heh

Jamie Dawn said...

Ice cream... YUMMY!!!
I've never had a choco taco though, so I must try one.
We don't have an ice cream truck here, but I can see my 18 & 20 year olds waiting at the edge of the driveway if we did have one. They like ice cream too, also, as well. Who doesn't?
Oh, I got your check. Thanks. I'll cash it this coming week.
It's good to be back home in AR. Courtney had a photo shoot this morning. I'll post about her photo shoots sometime. I'm her assistant, and I take behind the scenes photos. It's fun.
Lordy! I'm craving ice cream for some reason!
I'll share Taylor's myspace page for his band at my blog soon, but I'll give it to you now since I know you dig bands. The music on his myspace is all his original music, recorded here upstairs in our house, and he is playing all the instruments except drums and doing all the singing. He just put together band members recently to play his stuff, and their band is called Crown Jewel Defense.

Happy rest of summer to you & your family.
Eat lots of ice cream!!!!

namaste said...

oh i hate when i'm gearing up for a treat and it doesn't come. ugh! it takes me like hours to get over it!

btw, you're funny as hell as usual girlie!



MamaMichelsBabies said...

I'm still in love with orange push ups... they are one of the few things that taste as good now as they did when I was a kid. Yum.

And who are you seeing??? I'm entirely to lazy to go to the website to find out too.

Haphazardkat said...

I LUV me a choco-taco!! Those things rock!
used to be I could order one at the taco time drive thru. Now no more taco time to be found.
Someone must pay a serious karma payback to me for that.
i'll take a family pack of rollo's.
You know. Rollo Rolloooooo to your pal.
Just sayin...
I need me some STAT!