Thursday, August 07, 2008

Hold the Line

I am so glad this pittyful week is nearly over with...Not that it has been a bad week per say, just that once this week is done, I only have one more till I leave for the open highway and head to Iowa so I can party with some real men.

Im just sayin.

When I get back from my concert, I am taking my tots camping. Yes, yes, I said camping..We are going to rough it for about 4 days...

In tents.

Hell yeah...I kid you not. This fancy lassy is going camping..

We are going here.

Thats right, it says whale watching bitches...

Top That!

I have lived on the Great Lakes my whole entire life..Been to all of them, but this one..

I had no idea there were whales in a fresh water lake...I mean seroiusly? Do they think im a dumbass?

But its on the internet, so it MUST be true..

Hell yeah.

we have not picked out our campground yet....but I will by the weekend.

Guess who is going with me? HUbs?...Nope.

Its gonna be Pale Girl, with her two tots...and me and my three tots..

Two gals, a gaggle of tots, and the great outdoors..

I am pretty confident I can take care of any bears we may encounter...I have had ample expirence dealing with creatures..

I do have a small lap dog and two cats for Gods sake.

I have a great deal of expertese in tent set up..The Boy and I went to a number of mother and son camping trips for boy scouts.

Ok, just one...

but still..

Stay tuned, because the shit that will happen on this trip is sure fire going to be pure gold blogging matarieal.

Between two chicks roughing it, the whales and the bears...

yeah, im just sayin..


Walmart alert...Pale Girl and I might be going soon, I need to buy a another tent, and well, this city has supplied me with no other means of buying a tent..

For Gods sake they could at least have a Dicks Sporting Goods..because everyone in this city is so well...

cultured and all..



Last fall I bought the tots each a pumpkin that I cleaned and carved...I'm a carver.

Don't 4get it either bitches..

Anyway, I tossed out three of the pumpkins after Halloween, but Boo didn't want hers tossed yet.

So I let it set on the porch. A couple days after Halloween the mother fucker was froze to the porch, I couldn't remove it.

I 4got all about has been snowed on, lived thru 50 below zero tempts..

In the spring when everything melted, I saw the remains of the pumpkin.

I cleaned up what I could..which wasn't much.

Now look...this is what I have now..

Thats some pretty amusing shit right there...The bitch is growing right up my porch.

Speaking of growing things..Take a look at these cucumbers I picked outta the garden yesterday.

This is them posed with a soda can, so you can get the shear bigness AND, um, girth of my pickles...

See, thats a freakin prize winnin crop right there.....

Don't be haters, you just have not got the green thumbs I do..and its ok..

This is Boo when I tell her we are going whale watching..

when she was a baby she thought whales lived in our lake..

she also called it an ocean..

This is why I am making her do one more run of pre school instead of sending her to Kindergarten..


And there is hubs telling her there are no whales in the great lakes.

Apparently he did not read the shit on the Internet...



~Deb said...

Ah yessss.... the cucumbers almost made me go back to Heteroville.

Would you stop putting the place and time you're vacationing sweetpea! ??? lol! Scary peeps out on the net or at least lie where you're going!

{{pokes you}}

It looks fabulous anyway. Other than that, my choice of camping sites include: The Marriott, The Hilton and The W.

I'm such a bitch.

Love and miss you crazy gal!

That photo of hubby & your daughter is priceless!

lisabella said...

Who are you kidding? That's no cucumber, that's a freakin' watermelon!


Flip Flop Momma said...

I highly doubt anyone is going to venture to the candian border going from campsite to campsite to see if im there;)

that would take em all week:)

but hell, if they are that stupid to come, I will have a roasted weeine waiting 4 em;)

I know..those are big huh..hehe

My watermelons are not even that big;)

Humincat said...

So here were my thoughts during the reading of your post:

...whale watching from a lake???
...oh, good, I'm not the only one who thinks that sounds nuts..., that pumpkin must have made a rotten mess....oh, it made a sprout! How cute!.... the hell is she going to set up the tents....oh, she's an old pro....
...what a cute kid! I pay serious money for highlights like that and there is that dang kid with the most perfectly placed blonde streaks for FREE!...
...her hubby looks like mine when he's at home, ready for a nap...
...I wonder how they keep everything outside looking so dustfree, mine is covered in cobwebs and dirt and is only two years old, I guess living next to a field doesn't help me much....

Humincat said...

Oh, and I forgot the snort/choke/laugh at the word GIRTH. Don't you know that word is only used in reference to ....well, I guess cucumbers work as well.

Flip Flop Momma said...

damn woman...

I dont even know how to respond to all that..hahaha

that was one Girthy comment:)

Scarlet said...

I am so jealous of your camping trip! You, pale girl, the kids and the great outdoors...what a blast!

You should make everyone watch The Blair Witch before you go to put a little more excitement in the air.

Pack a weapon and have fun!!

KrazyMom said...

Sorry, but after knowing you for many, many years...I just can't picture you camping! I can't wait to hear the stories! Here's hoping everyone makes it back okay. Tents and I just don't get along.

We threw our old pumpkins in the woods out back our first year here and also found pumpkins the next year. So now we do that every year, and our new ones are on there way as well. That's my kind of planting, very low maintainance! Haha.

IamDerby said...

Love, love love your cucumbers! You have a gift.

Flip Flop Momma said...

I think Im the only weapon needed;)

I know, I own family is very shocked...

Its a first 4 me...other then when I was a kid..

Pray 4 me;)

and gardening isnt the only one either;)

1 plus twins said...

you camping!!! that is funny shit. i say as soon as the first bug gets in your tent you will be headed to the nearest hotel!! lol

Tom said...

Just got back from the John....those cukes aint so big!!
Have fun camping! Take plenty o' photos!

KrazyMom said...

My concern for not making the return trip home was not for you, I know you can hold your own...rather it was for Pale Girl. Here's hoping she doesn't piss you off too badly and get thrown out to join the whales!! :)

Monogram Queen said...

I can't get over whale watching!!!

I am not a camper but the hubs is dying to go...


Yippeeskip said...

I'm missing my family in the UP seeing that link-after a few beers w/ my dad and uncle I swear we almost caught a whale fishing once.

Flip Flop Momma said...

bugs dont bother me, its the well...wild life and lack of toilets that is getting me right now.

oh your a bad boy arent u?

well, Pale Girl is the one with all the camping exprince...ya see, she knows what to do...So she will be fine, unless I gotta kill her off course.

I cant get over the whale watching either...

thats some seroius shit there;)

Flip Flop Momma said...

have u ever been to Lake Supeior?

The UP aint got nuttin on the Northern parts of MN..hehe

I bet u did catch a whale..after enough booze a carp could look like one;)

The Doozie said...

Can't say that I'm jealous at all, I think they will all drive you over the edge, into the lake and you will begin mating with the whales.

And besides that, it's not roughing it when you're in a civilized campground. One must go out into the wilderness, dig their own pooping hole, carry their own water, and kill their own food.

catscratch said...

Yah, send me a cucumber, k?

Anonymous said...

Sugar your sposed to pick em before they get so big, ifn your gonna eat em anyway!
I would love to be watching y'all camp haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Ole sage aint a camper.
no ma'am
I'm for climate control!

Don't forget the wall spider as one of your pets sheeeeeeesh

have fun fun fun!!

JoeinVegas said...

Hmm, let's see, two sexy women and a pile of kids. You aren't taking those cukes along, are you? (just askin')

Flip Flop Momma said...

u always gots to be a downer deby dontcha.

well.....I only have one left;)

but they tasted REAL good:)

us camping will be a sure fire train wreck.


Bella said...

Have fun!

Anonymous said...


they were good huh??

well if you'd cut em wen they were smaller they'd be better
size matters !!!

Small or average is better!!

no cukes while camping!

why I never get invited?
you think Pale girl will be more fun?