Looks like me, my girls and my mom are heading out...
Driving 22 hours..
My boo is gonna miss her party...
so if your driving here...dont.
Be back sunday..
hot dessert climate, with scorpians and ratterls..
here we come..
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
We inturupt this scheduled blogging moment..to let u know...
The woman who took me bar hopping when I was three days old in a fucking box......
Im not sure whats going to happen...Not sure if im going to go spit on the grave, or if im gonna just stay here and drink...
All I know..is this very wicked woman..
is feeling the heat..
Posted by eyes_only4him at 9:23:00 PM
Sunday, August 24, 2008
I am having a BIG party Friday. Wanna come? No, I'm serious...I would invite my family but they would just ignore me like they did when I sent them all invitations to Thanksgiving.
And I asked them two months ago...and since this is such short notice, no sense in asking..Driving 16 hours for my baby's birthday is NO reason to come here...
My hubs family is the worst...
But since everyone and I mean EVERYONE I sent an email about Thanksgiving too ignored me, I say heck with them all...
Not even a
I'm working at the homeless shelter sorry..
I'm going to see Ma-maw at the nursing home..
i don't fucking wanna come..
So why bother inviting them to my babies 5th birthday party.
That's right folks, my BABY will be 5 years of age this coming Friday..
So if u wanna come...your more then welcome...
Just don't plan on me waiting on you, being polite, or even caring that your here..
Thats how I roll...
Look at my baby...
See, look at her....if this was your niece, or your grandkid, you would wanna come see this wouldn't u?
Sure, its a 16 hour drive, but its a 3 day weekend for Gods sake....take some time off 4 the family..
Thats what Jesus would do..
Look, how could u turn this down?
She went from a cute chubby baby, to a 5 year old girl who wants to be a rockstar..
just like her momma.
She wants to marry every Jonas Brother, plus Zac Efon. She has big plans.
She has posters of boys all over her bedroom walls. She always has to look nice. She will dress herself then asks me if I think she is pretty.
yes baby, your pretty, even if your clothes don't match, your face has jelly on it, and your underwear are showing..
This is her now..
See her mirror? She is always looking in a mirror. Wanna know why?
So she can see what she looks like, thats why...
Yes, yes, that is a High School Musical blanket she has on her bed.
She is all hard core that way...
My little girl is the kinda gal that would give you her last chicken nugget..
Well, no, no she wouldn't....
But she would give u a bite...a small one..
She loves her kitty. She loves the color pink, and she loves boys.
When her and I are driving in the car she always asks me to turn on a Def Leppard cd, and she always says..
can we wisten to it woud momma..
she has trouble with her L's...get off her damn back before I drop kick you.
This is the last kid that will live in the confines of my uterine walls for 9 months.
And damn it, I'm having a big party.
We are going to cookout on the grill, have some Mikes Hard Lemonade, have a bonfire and roast some marshmallows.
Since she is only 5, she is not allowed to drink a whole bottle of Mikes...maybe next year..
Guess I better break out the Country Time lemonade..
So if u wanna come on by....I'll see ya here...
I will even let me use my shitter while you're here..
Dont steal anything...
and I might even let u touch my guitar..
On second thought, I am not a big fan of people, entertaining, or just being happy in general..
Maybe next year...
Posted by eyes_only4him at 7:01:00 PM
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Every Wednesday the ice cream truck comes tooling down my street. Every Wednesday my tots sit in the driveway anticipating the arrival of said truck. You can hear the bitch coming from blocks away because it has those chimes ringing. Oh those fucking chimes..
Its almost like the driver of the truck wants a good ball beating. I'm sure he does. He must. Or he wouldn't parade down my street like he has my kids hopes and dreams in the backside of his truck.
Oh wait. He does.
Last week my girls sat in the driveway and waited and waited. It was raining and I told them the truck likely wont be coming..
They waited. For 3 hours.
I finally had to bribe them in the house...they cried and wondered why the ice cream truck had forsaken them.
I was almost hoping the truck was closing shop for the summer. Because it normally does come in the rain.
But I do recall the damn truck making rounds around Halloween time last year, so I kinda knew this was not the case.
So this morning when my tots woke up the first thing out of the 4 year olds mouth was..
momma is today Wednesday?
Everyday she asks. I'm sure she will even ask tomorrow.
The talk of the ice cream truck was kind of setting well in my mind. I had not had ice cream in, God knows how long. I told Blondie to get me a Choco Taco.
Never had one?
Its a damn bloody shame..
I had this in my mind all day. How good its going to be to bite into my stale, cold, soggy waffle shell my taco sits in.
Its what got me thru the day..
Blondie set her watch to the approximate time she thought the truck would be making waves down the street.
She was set.
Money in hand.
" you know what momma wants right?"
"yup...u want a taco"
" no no, a CHACO taco, make sure u add the chaco part"
"got it mom"
I sit in here and watch my tots thru the window..There is a line...all the kids are giddy and ready for their soon to be sugar high.
I sit down on the coach and get prepared to eat my Chaco Taco.
One must prepare for these things.
She comes running in all smiles..
So she got me this pink panther ice cream thing..
because I told her once I liked to watch Pink Panther when I was a kid.
I looked at the label.
100 calories and no fat.
Sure this is going to be bad...very very bad.
When you prepare all day for an event, it gets your ovaries all in a tizzy when it does not pan out.
Curse the man who doesn't bring me a chaco taco.
There is a nice hot place in hell for that dude.
After Def Leppard, whats my next love?
Don't say Elton John or Prince...
yes yes, they are my pride and joys, but I'm talking a band..
They are coming to the Target Center in Minneapolis on Sept 30th.
This bitch is going come hell or HIGH water...
I'M just saying....
Posted by eyes_only4him at 7:08:00 PM
Monday, August 18, 2008
dont 4get to scroll down to last post to see my Lepp pics and my ass on stage with Everclear...dont know em?..yeah, me either..
The Boy whom is 11, and heading to 6th grade is troubled. This lad is just disgusted.
HELLO, GATE 13, ITS ME, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?
Because they are all douche bags...thats why
Posted by eyes_only4him at 1:20:00 PM
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Ok, Im back from my big Hoo-Raaay at the ever lovin Iowa State Fair.
As far as fairs goes, this was well..a fucking fair..
It was hot. There were tons of people touching me...It was dirty and it smelled.
The show was great.
The seats I ended up having..(which I did not sit in them, as we stood at the stage whole show) were wonderful.
I even was pulled up on stage to dance with Everclear..the opening act.
never heard of them?..
Yeah me either..
We danced to Brown-eyed Girl..
Thats me, there, on the damn stage..SEE?
Here I am. I am the first one up there...
This is Jules and I by Rick Allens drum kit..
Here is the whole gang that ended up on stage...
See me there making my devil horns?
I am not just going to post some random pics...
I dont have time to discuss, or to explain...
Im trying to plan my next show..
Detroit maybe? on saturday?
Posted by eyes_only4him at 2:13:00 PM
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Somethings have come up over the last couple days that I feel I need to vent and spew all over my website, cause really, thats why I have one..
So people out there can read it and say to themselves...
self, I'm not going to do myself in today because this whack job needs my help, I would rather see her go first..
I'm here for the people.
Anyway, I am still leaving Saturday morning around 6 am for Iowa...Because frankly, this is the only thing getting me thru right now.
This post may get a tad bit lengthy, its gonna have a lot of girth, it may also contain bits of stagnant and pungent odors.
My first complaint is for the neighbors to stop yelling "Koda" all day and all night thru out the hood.
Put your damn dog on a leash before I get the pepper spray out...
You would not have to call your dog at all hours if u killed it.
I'm just sayin..
My trip to Mt Rushmore may be put to a stop.
No NO, not because I have broke any laws....
It seems The Boy has band camp starting next week.
Hello douche bags, its STILL summer vacation...damnit..
And The Boy is going to play the Trombone...he needs all the band camping he can get I guess.
Yes I said band camp, get your giggles out for Christ sake so we can get along with this..
Ok, my mother calls me crying last night..I don't do well with people and tears and emotions and stuff.
My brain is more hard wired to be that of a stealth robot. We have no emotions, but we get shit done..
I guess her sister called her to inform her that their "mother" is not doing well and that if she wanted to see her before the big one hit, she might wanna head on a jet plane.
Let me give you a little back story on my ole...granny...
DO u know I cant even say that out loud? I have never called her that or ever said that out loud..EVER.
In my life I have only had one set of grandparents...And one died last summer and the one is doing well driving me crazy telling me about how it makes her nervous to drive in cars with her 80 year old friends because well, they don't drive so well anymore..cause they are 80!
Mind you she is going to be 81....but she would rather take a bus then drive with other old ladies..
Anyway...this woman who is technically my grandmother is some piece of work.
In my 33 years of life I have seen her not more then a handful of times.
No Xmas gifts, no birthday calls, she wouldn't come to my wedding, no calls when I had babies of my own...no nothing. And you all know how I like to get shit...
When I was a couple days old, my mom had to go back in the hospital for a week because she came down with an infection of some sort..
And my dad not being the hands on baby man, I was left with my real grandparents.
One day while I was napping nicely at grandma and grandpa's...that woman came to the door and asked them if she could take me for a while.
Being I was brand new and still had that new car smell, who wouldn't want to see a new baby?
So my grandma being the nice lady she is, and not thinking anything bad would happen, let that woman take me for the day.
Now this could be where some of my issues stem from. I cant say for sure as I don't recall any of it..
But this is what happen to me.
This woman took me from my nice grandmothers arms and into a cardboard box..
Yup..I said a box.
Little ole me was laying in a box on the floor of the back seat of this woman's car..
Wanna know where she took me?
I know your just dying to know.
She took me bar hopping along the lake shore...
I am not sure how I was found or what happen after that, but this woman and my aunt took me bar hopping.
Not only were they driving with a week old lassie in the back..I was in a fucking box.
And they were drunk.
Now thats my kinda granny...
Last month my mothers sister was diagnosed with cancer. She was told it was spread thru her whole entire body.
The woman called my mom to tell her that the sister was getting what she deserved and she hoped her death was painful and agonizing.
This is the kind of monster we are dealing with.
The woman will then call my aunt telling her how much she loves her and blah blah...
Fucking psycho she is..
My mom said she does not want to go see her.
Her childhood was filled with beatings..
Both her parents were nurses...My grandfather..(puke puke) was once the Director of Nurses at the homeland hospital...So they were well educated peeps.
The woman was a psych nurse for 20 years....which to this day blows my ever loving mind..
Once when my mother got cut on a piece of glass, her dad sewed her cut up..
with fishing line..and no numbing shot.
I can sort of see why she does not want to go.
But I do.
I want to go see her...and just smother her with a card board box.
I want to spit on her grave and then let my dog take a healthy one on it.
Some of you wont understand this, some of you will...
I just feel the need to let it all out..to tell her what a horrible person she is, and that she is getting what SHE deserves.
I want to claw her eyes out, I want to put a kink in her catheter.
This woman has brought nothing but misery to anyone or anything she has touched.
Not many people can make that claim, but she can.
I realize this is not what a normal Christian gal would say.
But I'm not normal. Some might argue im not Christian, to that I say
I think my mother should go, mainly for her sisters..
They live in New Mexico and since they live there, they will have to deal with everything...and I think she should go to be there for them.
They all went thru this horrid childhood together, so I think they should all bury it together.
So we may be driving there..
With my tots...
a 21 hour drive.
So I can spit on a grave and have damn good meal after the funeral.
One good thing about funerals is the food afterwards..
That would almost be worth the drive.
This bitch likes to eat.
Posted by eyes_only4him at 11:56:00 AM
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Posted by eyes_only4him at 1:25:00 PM
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Normally I steer clear of trouble. Normally I try to avoid situations where I may or may not be thrown in the county hotel.
Over the last three weeks, I have had the PO-LiCE called on me twice.
Time number one was at Pale Girls apartment when we were sitting around her table..Things mighta got outta hand when one of the four us put our empties filled with pistachio shells on a neighbors doorstep..
Shortly after that delivery there was was a knock on the door...There were four of us sittin at the table, drinking, having a good time...
Who woulda thought that 4 ladies could cause such a ruckus with people. I guess we were loud...or the haters were made they were not invited..
I think the folks just didn't like Mike at the doorstep...
Mikes Hard Lemonade that is....
This past Thursday Pale girl was over and so was our pal special...
After a couple MIkes we decided to do a little B and E...
I would say that hubs was an accomplice since he stayed here and was our look out...
but I wont...
Anyway, we did some breaking and entering...
we were on a mission..We had a purpose for this mission.
We cant find what we are looking for, but we see items that will do..
We run off with our goods..cause thats what u do when your stealing, you run off.
With your goods.
Your also suppose to wear all black and sport pantyhose on your face...
But us being the experienced breakers and enterers that we are, we go in broad daylight with our own faces..
Thats how hard core we be.
Next day while I was at Pale Girls house. We were basking in the glow of our recent crime spree thinking how easy that was, cause we never even got caught.
Then she gets a call from Officer Nelson asking about said B and E.
Turns out, we did get caught..
I guess if you don't get busted by the cops during a breaking and entering, its almost like it didn't happen..
For the next week I am going to stay on the other side of the law. My concert is in a few days and I must be a law biding citizen if I wanna cross state lines...
Next Tuesday(19th) we head out on our camping trip...I don't think we are going up north, I think we are going to go to South Dakota...
Us girls, the open highway, 5 tots, a cooler full of Mikes and our stolen camping goods.
Just like Thelma and Louise..
Minus Brad Pitt...and cliff jumping...
Posted by eyes_only4him at 4:11:00 PM
Thursday, August 07, 2008
I am so glad this pittyful week is nearly over with...Not that it has been a bad week per say, just that once this week is done, I only have one more till I leave for the open highway and head to Iowa so I can party with some real men.
Im just sayin.
When I get back from my concert, I am taking my tots camping. Yes, yes, I said camping..We are going to rough it for about 4 days...
Hell yeah...I kid you not. This fancy lassy is going camping..
We are going here.
Thats right, it says whale watching bitches...
I have lived on the Great Lakes my whole entire life..Been to all of them, but this one..
I had no idea there were whales in a fresh water lake...I mean seroiusly? Do they think im a dumbass?
But its on the internet, so it MUST be true..
we have not picked out our campground yet....but I will by the weekend.
Guess who is going with me? HUbs?...Nope.
Its gonna be Pale Girl, with her two tots...and me and my three tots..
Two gals, a gaggle of tots, and the great outdoors..
I am pretty confident I can take care of any bears we may encounter...I have had ample expirence dealing with creatures..
I do have a small lap dog and two cats for Gods sake.
I have a great deal of expertese in tent set up..The Boy and I went to a number of mother and son camping trips for boy scouts.
Ok, just one...
Stay tuned, because the shit that will happen on this trip is sure fire going to be pure gold blogging matarieal.
Between two chicks roughing it, the whales and the bears...
yeah, im just sayin..
Walmart alert...Pale Girl and I might be going soon, I need to buy a another tent, and well, this city has supplied me with no other means of buying a tent..
For Gods sake they could at least have a Dicks Sporting Goods..because everyone in this city is so well...
cultured and all..
Last fall I bought the tots each a pumpkin that I cleaned and carved...I'm a carver.
Don't 4get it either bitches..
Anyway, I tossed out three of the pumpkins after Halloween, but Boo didn't want hers tossed yet.
So I let it set on the porch. A couple days after Halloween the mother fucker was froze to the porch, I couldn't remove it.
I 4got all about it...it has been snowed on, lived thru 50 below zero tempts..
In the spring when everything melted, I saw the remains of the pumpkin.
I cleaned up what I could..which wasn't much.
Now look...this is what I have now..
Thats some pretty amusing shit right there...The bitch is growing right up my porch.
Speaking of growing things..Take a look at these cucumbers I picked outta the garden yesterday.
This is them posed with a soda can, so you can get the shear bigness AND, um, girth of my pickles...
See, thats a freakin prize winnin crop right there.....
Don't be haters, you just have not got the green thumbs I do..and its ok..
This is Boo when I tell her we are going whale watching..
when she was a baby she thought whales lived in our lake..
she also called it an ocean..
This is why I am making her do one more run of pre school instead of sending her to Kindergarten..
And there is hubs telling her there are no whales in the great lakes.
Apparently he did not read the shit on the Internet...
Posted by eyes_only4him at 2:22:00 PM
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
The other day while it was so steaming hot outside, I sat outside and wondered what it would be like to visit the sun. I mean I know its like a flaming fire ball, and I'm not saying I want to visit the sun, but I do know some folks I wouldn't mind sending there.
I'm just sayin..
I am trying to prepare my tots for the impending doom of school starting. Sure they have until next month before they go, but its still something you need to start preparing for weeks in advance.
I have to prepare myself as well. I have been enjoying the steadfast routine of doing nothing.
No lunches to pack, no clothes to get out, no homework to look over...
I rather enjoy these moments.
I am a self proclaimed lazy bitch....anything that requires any sort of effort I frown upon. And I openly admit this to anyone..
Sure during the summer I still have to make breakfast, lunch and supper..however, I can do it on my time...
And my time, is just the right time.
I am in the process of starting the school shopping. God I hate school shopping.
Long trips to the mall, fitting rooms, complaining...this shit bugs me.
My tots have expensive taste in clothing and shoe apparel. Which is ok with me, because I don't want them going to school looking like dirty hippies.
I volunteer at the tots schools when I can, and you would be surprised the number of kids in school that have not put a brush through the hair or have on dirty, stained clothes.
This makes me sick inside.
It does not take that much time to brush your tots hair or to do a load of laundry..
I'm just sayin..
Anyway, what I was saying is, I am sad the impending end of summer is upon us, but I'm very excited about them leaving all day long.
Get your backpack and get the hell to the damn bus stop..
Hubs has been gone for a day..he went to Cleveland..
Or what I call..a paid vacation.
That upsets him when I say that..But really it is.
You get a nice quiet plane ride, a nice quiet 5 star hotel room, a nice quiet shower..
thats a damn vacation people.
When he returns tonight he wants to bake.
Sometimes I wonder if my missing ovary is embedded in his nutsack.
I have many theories on how it got there too..
But thats for next time.
I'm covering a lot of ground today, not sure I will be back this week....so keep paying attention..
The Boy has a girl who fancies him....she sent over a love note 4 him yesterday.
I went and busted her knee caps.
I have to keep reminding myself he will be in middle school this year.
He is thisclose to moving out...I mean soon he will be a teen...then soon after he will be gone...
Not that I want him gone, but I'm looking 4ward to the day when they all leave.
He wants to live in an apartment in Manhattan.
So in order to get him adjusted to the size of pad he can get for say 2 million dollars, I have been keeping him locked in the laundry room so he can get use to living in tight quarters....And to me, thats given him extra space..
trust me on this.
I'm just sayin..
Also, I wonder why if my remarks offend some, why they keep coming back..
Hello out there...
get a clue..
Maybe they are unaware I know they are coming. Maybe they think they can just sneak over and i wont know.
But I do know.
I know your IP address, I know other blogs you go to from here, I know how long you stay here, I know everything.
Im just sayin..
My good Blogger pal Jamie Dawn is sending me some cross necklaces she made. I bought one for each of my girls and one for me.
I will show you when I get them..
Oh, and a heads up for those who keep track..I might go to walmart and buy some pencils and a gallon of milk....
Then again, maybe I wont..
Just like to keep ya'll guessin...
Oh and in case your wondering, the wind is blowing so my dish is acting like she needs a good anal cleansing.
Now I think im going to go stab something or find a small animal to go kick.
Posted by eyes_only4him at 2:49:00 PM